|
|
Post by lesserknownpea on Oct 27, 2015 7:33:47 GMT
At Target today I walked up a long aisle, at, the end of which was the greeting card display. I had a lot of time to observe a little girl about 2 playing with the cards she could reach. She was running her hands through them, or bending each stack forward and watching the cards spring back, and pulling out some.
I looked for her parents, and saw a young woman doing something on her phone about 12 feet away from her. She'd look up quickly to check the child was still there, but was not at all concerned that her kid was mauling dozens of cards. True, she wasn't tearing them, but I guarantee their encounter with this little girl would not leave the cards in the condition you or I would want to purchase them in.
I got to where the mom was, and was prepared to turn the corner and mind my own business, like I always do, when I totally shocked myself by saying to the mom, "I'm kinda shocked you're just letting her do that ".
The mom looked up from her phone and asked "why?"
"Because people are going to come along and buy those cards", was the only thing I could think of to say, remember, I did not plan to say anything.
She looked at her girl, happily riffling through the stacks of cards, shrugged, and said, "she's okay", and looked back at her phone.
At least she wasn't hostile. But seriously, if my child was damaging store property, and someone called my attention to it, I'd have been mortified.
I'm still not sure why this time I said something. I generally don't unless a child is in danger.
Should I have just minded my own business?
|
|
|
|
Post by gar on Oct 27, 2015 8:15:59 GMT
You weren't telling her off or being rude so I don't think you did anything wrong. I find myself doing things like that more and more as I get older....usually it's smiling to little children or commenting about how beautiful/handsome they are but i can see that happening unplanned. I don't understand letting the child damage stock though, I wouldn't have let my DDs do that, certainly.
|
|
|
|
Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Oct 27, 2015 9:02:42 GMT
You did the right thing. One of our Refupeas friends had a thread recently about a nice way to word a request to clients not to damage her crafting merchandise. She would have loved a client like you to intercede in this way  I had a little word with a wayward child (I think he was about 8-10 age range, not a little kid) who lay down on the floor to stick his head under the ladies change room barrier behind which I was disrobing a short while back. The second time he did it I very loudly requested "the Mom of the little peeper in the red shirt" to come and remove him. This was followed by what seemed like a long, ringing silence, then a little "well done" from my neighbour, then a bit of bad language from the Mom directed at me after which she exited the area noisily while chewing out the kid. Same kind of language. I am pretty sure she didn't return her clothes to the attendant....  ETA: today's Moms are not easily mortified, quite the contrary. That doesn't make them right or us more civilized shoppers wrong. I hate the aggression though. |
|
|
|
Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Oct 27, 2015 10:04:27 GMT
if my child was damaging store property, and someone called my attention to it, I'd have been mortified. So would I have. But.... I also don't let my children touch store items that we haven't already decided to buy. I don't understand some of society anymore. The parents need a time out more than the kids do. |
|
|
|
Post by mollycoddle on Oct 27, 2015 10:13:52 GMT
You weren't wrong at all. SMDH at some of these clueless moms.
|
|
|
|
Post by ghislaine on Oct 27, 2015 10:21:44 GMT
if my child was damaging store property, and someone called my attention to it, I'd have been mortified. So would I have. But.... I also don't let my children touch store items that we haven't already decided to buy. I don't understand some of society anymore. The parents need a time out more than the kids do. I will let my 2-year-old touch things but only with one finger and generally only those things that aren't fragile. I would let her touch the cards but not bend them! Unless I am checking my shopping list or writing a text to my husband I don't use my phone while in stores either. |
|
Nicole in TX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,951 
|
Post by Nicole in TX on Oct 27, 2015 10:26:14 GMT
Welcome to the new generation of 'parenting.'  |
|
|
|
Post by JustCallMeMommy on Oct 27, 2015 11:33:42 GMT
I will let my 2-year-old touch things but only with one finger and generally only those things that aren't fragile. I would let her touch the cards but not bend them! Unless I am checking my shopping list or writing a text to my husband I don't use my phone while in stores either. I had completely forgotten about the one finger rule. We had that one, too. |
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Oct 27, 2015 11:50:43 GMT
I will let my 2-year-old touch things but only with one finger and generally only those things that aren't fragile. You ought to share that idea with my husband. He claims he holds hands with me while we are shopping not to be romantic, but to keep me from handling everything. Lol. I'm a tactile shopper, I guess. I don't think the OP handled the situation badly. What's unfortunate is that people are often no longer even embarrassed when called out on bad behavior. |
|
|
|
Post by Flibbertigibbet on Oct 27, 2015 12:43:49 GMT
I've ended more than a few friendships because of this type of parenting. I don't understand why people don't tell their kid to stop doing something. It's like all of the sudden the kid will be grown up and know how to behave and what is acceptable behavior. Its one thing to raise a kid to have an open mind, it's another thing to let them be rude and self-absorbed. I'm still friendly with the Mom's but even my kids don't want to be around theirs.
|
|
|
|
Post by PenandInk on Oct 27, 2015 12:45:56 GMT
I will let my 2-year-old touch things but only with one finger and generally only those things that aren't fragile. I would let her touch the cards but not bend them! Unless I am checking my shopping list or writing a text to my husband I don't use my phone while in stores either. In our house the rule was: "Look with your eyes." |
|
|
|
Post by maryland on Oct 27, 2015 12:53:12 GMT
Thank you for doing that! I was always very strict with my little kids in stores because I didn't want to have to pay for things that they damaged. And it's a store, not a playground. She could have looked at the cards with her child teaching her child how to properly look at cards in a store.
|
|
|
|
Post by msdintz on Oct 27, 2015 12:53:50 GMT
I work in a grocery store and you would not believe the things people let their kids do. Yesterday I saw a little girl ( probably 4 or so) standing up in the top part of the cart! Those things can tip over easily and they are on wheels, her mom AND grandma were standing right there. I couldn't just go by so I caught the little girls eye and frowned. She sat down but I honestly could not believe these people.
|
|
|
|
Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Oct 27, 2015 13:01:05 GMT
I will let my 2-year-old touch things but only with one finger and generally only those things that aren't fragile. I would let her touch the cards but not bend them! Unless I am checking my shopping list or writing a text to my husband I don't use my phone while in stores either. In our house the rule was: "Look with your eyes." Perhaps we lived in the same house! Thanks for the memory, both of my parents are long gone, both of their birthdays just passed and I just heard my late Mom in your post.  |
|
marimoose
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,282
|
Post by marimoose on Oct 27, 2015 13:04:30 GMT
I work in a grocery store and you would not believe the things people let their kids do. Yesterday I saw a little girl ( probably 4 or so) standing up in the top part of the cart! Those things can tip over easily and they are on wheels, her mom AND grandma were standing right there. I couldn't just go by so I caught the little girls eye and frowned. She sat down but I honestly could not believe these people. I know someone who always let her daughter stand in the cart, they thought she was so cute as they raced along the aisles with her hanging on and one day that cart tipped over, the child spilled out and ended up with a broken leg. Thankfully they did not try to hold the store responsible but a great many would. |
|
|
|
Post by hollymolly on Oct 27, 2015 13:06:11 GMT
I don't think there is as much of a lack of embarrassment as at appears. I think it is a change in the response to embarrassment. I think more people respond to embarrassment or shame with anger. I try to believe that, given time to reflect, a majority of those parents recognize they were wrong and correct the behavior in the future.
For the record, you were right to say something.
|
|
luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,067
|
Post by luckyexwife on Oct 27, 2015 13:10:42 GMT
I got yelled at once in Target. There was a shopper with her cart parked diagonally across the whole aisle. I said excuse me 3 times, then I reached out to move the cart out of the way. She looked up and screeched something at me about her daughter. I jump back startled and looked to see her daughter was laying on the floor underneath the cart. I was so shocked I said "you really let your daughter play on the dirty target floor underneath a cart?" The woman mumbled something I couldn't understand, then told her daughter to stand up, she crawled her way out from underneath the cart, then the mom and daughter scurried off. I stood there for a few seconds trying to figure out if that's what I really saw!
|
|
|
|
Post by gorgeouskid on Oct 27, 2015 13:21:30 GMT
I work in a grocery store and you would not believe the things people let their kids do. Yesterday I saw a little girl ( probably 4 or so) standing up in the top part of the cart! Those things can tip over easily and they are on wheels, her mom AND grandma were standing right there. I couldn't just go by so I caught the little girls eye and frowned. She sat down but I honestly could not believe these people. There's a boy at my former school who fell out of a cart at WalMart at about the same age. He's in a wheelchair for life. |
|
|
|
Post by alissa103 on Oct 27, 2015 13:44:24 GMT
I will let my 2-year-old touch things but only with one finger and generally only those things that aren't fragile. I would let her touch the cards but not bend them! Unless I am checking my shopping list or writing a text to my husband I don't use my phone while in stores either. In our house the rule was: "Look with your eyes." Yes! This is the line I say about 543,903 times while out shopping with my three year old. If he can't do that, he goes into the cart or stroller to reign him in and take away the temptation. i do let him touch things as we go, if they're appropriate/safe/not going to damage the item. Also, I know it's easy to group ALL parents into the "parents these days" thought, but I assure you there are lots of us who do not parent this way! OP, I probably would have done something similar, or been passive aggressive and loudly tell my own kid "no, we don't touch and mangle the cards, they're fragile and that's not nice" hoping the mom hears me. She probably wouldn't pay attention, but it would make me feel better |
|
gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
|
Post by gloryjoy on Oct 27, 2015 14:20:09 GMT
I just need to walk away from any of these kinds of experiences in stores. People get so bent out of shape when it comes to their children. I work in daycare and you would not believe how offended some parents get if you bring up even the slightest negative thing. Seeing as I deal with it all week, I just can't deal with it in my "off time", so I just let it go. I thought this post was going to be about the family of four in the fabric store on Saturday blocking the whole entire aisle and none of them would even move after I said "excuse me please". So then I just plowed my way thru them  . |
|
bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,531
|
Post by bethany102399 on Oct 27, 2015 14:36:20 GMT
Also, I know it's easy to group ALL parents into the "parents these days" thought, but I assure you there are lots of us who do not parent this way!  Exactly. And I did have the kid who fell out of the cart. Greased Lightning stood up suddenly and fell out of the cart faster than I could reach him. Slammed his head on the concrete floor. Scared the crap out of both of us and he never did it again. Thank God he wasn't truly hurt. OP, I would have been mortified, as well as having spent the last 20 minutes getting them to not. touch. anything. What kills me is when people make split second judgements about my kid and my parenting. If my kid cuts you off, or brushes past you, then give me a second to respond and please take a moment to listen to them say excuse me. Don't shoot them a dirty look while loudly telling your fellow shoppers how rude my kid is while they and I try to make it right. |
|
mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
|
Post by mallie on Oct 27, 2015 14:45:11 GMT
I thought you might be talking about the family I saw in a Pier One the other night. Two parents, two little girls. One girl was about 4 and coughing up a storm. I mean, you could hear her across the store. Her father was teasing her about being Typhoid Mary -- which she was, since she was making no attempt to cover her cough. The parents basically let the kids loose in the store. Pier One is full of breakables, so i watched the poor staff try and babysit these kids to keep them out of harm's way. Parents totally oblivious and obviously just walking around to kill time, no real shopping going on. Then the kids moved on to the mask area and proceeded to try on every mask and throw them on the floor. All while the kid was coughing and sniffling while wearing those masks. Then they pulled out throw rugs and nearly topped the rug display on top of them. Then the older girl threw herself (I mean, THREW herself) on to a bean bag chair, fell over and nearly toppled over a rack with vases on it. Parents in their Columbia gear and carrying their fancy coffee drinks were completely oblivious and uncaring.
So sick of the piss poor parenting. Even if you don't care about damaging merchandise, don't you care about your kids getting hurt? SMH.
|
|
|
|
Post by melanell on Oct 27, 2015 14:54:53 GMT
I will let my 2-year-old touch things but only with one finger and generally only those things that aren't fragile. I would let her touch the cards but not bend them! Unless I am checking my shopping list or writing a text to my husband I don't use my phone while in stores either. I had completely forgotten about the one finger rule. We had that one, too. So did we. |
|
oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
|
Post by oldcrow on Oct 27, 2015 14:58:50 GMT
I will let my 2-year-old touch things but only with one finger and generally only those things that aren't fragile. I would let her touch the cards but not bend them! Unless I am checking my shopping list or writing a text to my husband I don't use my phone while in stores either. In our house the rule was: "Look with your eyes." So much better than the one finger rule. Because it doesn't matter where their eyes have been but it does matter where that finger has been. |
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Oct 27, 2015 15:01:36 GMT
When I was a kid, my mother let me stay in the toy aisle or book section while she shopped, along with a lot of other kids. I look back in horror, but it seemed normal then. The Adam Walsh kidnapping changed things overnight, and suddenly I was supervised while shopping at all times.
Anyhow, I think it is good for kids to know that there are adult eyes on them and that people should intervene when they are destroying things.
|
|
|
|
Post by anxiousmom on Oct 27, 2015 15:05:12 GMT
Also, I know it's easy to group ALL parents into the "parents these days" thought, but I assure you there are lots of us who do not parent this way! Exactly. And I did have the kid who fell out of the cart. Greased Lightning stood up suddenly and fell out of the cart faster than I could reach him. Slammed his head on the concrete floor. Scared the crap out of both of us and he never did it again. Thank God he wasn't truly hurt. I had a ninja escape artist too. I was standing right there, looking at him and in the blink of an eye the slippery little weasel stood up and reached out to grab something next to the buggy. Of course he overbalanced and fell right out. Thankfully he missed all the sharp corners of the shelving right next to, but he landed flat on his stomach and knocked the wind right out of him. Scared me, scared him, scared the lady next to me...so sometimes you have to extend a bit of grace to the cart jumper's moms. I was standing RIGHT THERE reaching out to grab him and he fell. But I do admit that it feels like parenting has changed even since my kids were little. I feel like I see more of a laissez faire attitude now, but my mom swears that it actually started with my generation of parents who were rebelling from the 'my way or the highway' parenting style of their parents. My grandmother said that it was the hippies that started the whole thing. So who knows? Maybe those of us who are beyond it have a revisionist view on history.  |
|
|
|
Post by mellowyellow on Oct 27, 2015 16:05:24 GMT
I work in a grocery store and you would not believe the things people let their kids do. Yesterday I saw a little girl ( probably 4 or so) standing up in the top part of the cart! Those things can tip over easily and they are on wheels, her mom AND grandma were standing right there. I couldn't just go by so I caught the little girls eye and frowned. She sat down but I honestly could not believe these people. I am another one that is just shocked at how these parents let their kids do whatever they want. We were at a restaurant the other night and the table right next to us there was a little boy that was literally jumping up and down in the booth...running behind his dad and just acting silly. I kept expecting the dad to say something but he never did. Well, I caught the boy's attention and glared at him. Amazingly, he settled down. The parents were clueless the whole time. |
|
|
|
Post by Drew on Oct 27, 2015 16:15:02 GMT
When I read threads like this and the parent flogging that always follows, I wonder which responders are actually parents.
|
|
|
|
Post by scrapsotime on Oct 27, 2015 16:20:17 GMT
When I read threads like this and the parent flogging that always follows, I wonder which responders are actually parents. I would say quite a few of them are parents since they mentioned their own children in their posts. |
|
RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,398
|
Post by RosieKat on Oct 27, 2015 16:20:23 GMT
I just need to walk away from any of these kinds of experiences in stores. People get so bent out of shape when it comes to their children. I work in daycare and you would not believe how offended some parents get if you bring up even the slightest negative thing. Seeing as I deal with it all week, I just can't deal with it in my "off time", so I just let it go. Oh, I would believe it. My son is in 1st grade, and is both a super athletic, active kid as well as having severe ADHD. Thankfully, he loves to learn, so the actual learning time is usually fine, it's the off times like cafeteria, bathroom, etc. that are problems for him. Anyway, in about the 3rd week of school, the teacher sent me a very nice email letting me know he had had, as she called it, "an off day" and had gotten in trouble several times and she had a hard time redirecting him. Obviously, I wasn't thrilled to get it, but was happy she communicated it and I let her know that. Parent-teacher conferences were about a week later, and she asked us..."So, when I sent you that email, were you OK with me doing that?" I didn't get what she was afraid of, we were all "Of course, that way we can back you up, blah blah." She practically passed out with relief, and said thankyouthankyouthankyou, you wouldn't believe how many people don't want to hear it, get angry with me letting them know these things, etc. And this is a teaching veteran of something like 26 years of experience, at one of the most highly rated elementary schools in the US, in middle class suburbia with "involved" parents who are all giving at least lip service to discipline, school matters, etc. It's absurd. |
|
Time to get off the internet!
. _on_the_beach.jpg)
