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Post by msdintz on Oct 27, 2015 21:29:55 GMT
I am a parent of two, and we certainly had our issues in public from time to time.. Embarrassing for sure. If a parent is having trouble with their child( kid screaming, not listening,etc) and they are obviously trying to deal with it, it happens. No big deal. Not paying attention to them, being on the phone, letting them run wild all over, damaging products, not ok. Most parents are not like that but every once in a while, omg.
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Deleted
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May 17, 2024 4:30:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 27, 2015 21:41:10 GMT
In our house the rule was: "Look with your eyes." I remember saying "look with your eyes; not with your hands" to my youngest. Over and over. This was the song of my childhood, and I'm sure my kids will someday say the same thing@!
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Post by melanell on Oct 27, 2015 21:45:04 GMT
In our house the rule was: "Look with your eyes." Us too For us there really is no reason to have to look at everything that isn't yours with your hands and fingers! Glad to see someone else has the same 'look with your eyes' rule For us the idea was to teach the children to handle things gently while they were at an age where we would be holding them, guiding their hand, finger, etc. Like nearly every other parenting choice, there can be many ways to raise a child to respect what doesn't belong to them.
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Post by Merge on Oct 27, 2015 21:54:09 GMT
What gets me are the people who traipse through the store, looking at items in a leisurely way, while their baby or toddler shrieks in the cart. I'm not talking about a harried parent who just ran in to get a few necessary items before bed time; I'm talking about the mom examining the lingerie, browsing through the books or makeup or housewares, having a phone conversation, all while her ignored baby cries loudly enough to raise the hair on the back of your neck. This seems to happen around afternoon nap time or close to bed time in the evening, and I want to shake these people and say, "Take your baby home and put him to bed!" I've actually left stores on two recent occasions because the crying had gone on unchecked for a long time. ETA: My girls are 12 and 14, and I still take them home if they start screaming in public.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Oct 27, 2015 21:56:19 GMT
When I read threads like this and the parent flogging that always follows, I wonder which responders are actually parents. Three kids - 33, 26 and 16. Each of the raised fairly similarly even though parenting styles and guidelines changed during the years. My son has and was always quiet and didn't have a need to touch. My oldest dd all I had to do was ask her if she would be embarrassed if I spanked her in public and she stopped whatever the behavior was. My youngest is ADHD and would have been the child that hung from the clothes racks IF I had let her. She was different than my other kids so I had to parent her differently but with the same rules. She didn't get to go out to eat as often when she was younger because she could have been annoying to others. But she was still never allowed to run up and down the aisles anywhere. And as she learned to control her impulses she got more freedoms.
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,179
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Oct 27, 2015 21:58:40 GMT
I was in Lidl today (a chain of supermarkets like Aldi) and there were two boys, about 8 and 10, running around near the exit. The man who was ringing up my shopping very sternly told them to stop running as they were upsetting customers, and also said if they broke the security barrier they were swinging on, then they would have to pay £250 to repair it. They did stop, but the mum, who had just been standing watching them, shouted at them that they were going to get her banned if they didn't behave. I actually found myself saying that if she didn't ensure they behaved, then she was just at much at fault as they were. She told me to MMOFB, but was obviously really embarrassed. Like the OP, I don't know what got into me. Normally I would just stand and tut! I was having a bad day anyway, and this woman's lack of interest just really bugged me. And given how rough many of the clientele are locally, I'm just glad to have got out without any physical altercation...
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,968
Jan 4, 2015 1:47:52 GMT
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Post by AnotherPea on Oct 27, 2015 22:38:25 GMT
I've got one for you. Years ago when I was heavily into scrapbooking swaps, I was heading into the Post Office. I parked at the farthest spot away (because I was actively trying to NOT be the lazy bum that I am now). I noticed this car edging out of its parking space. Make a point to move over in the lot. Then I noticed there was no driver. Car was in neutral without a parking brake on. Uh oh. I look at the direction it is headed - no cars, but curbing and then a ditch. Uh, what to do??? I go over, test the door handle and it's locked And then I notice a toddler sitting in the back seat. Not in a car seat mind you. Oh crap. I holler - no one is in the parking lot with me then. I try the back door and thankfully it is unlocked. I try to get the kid to come to me - he bolts to the other side of the car. I reach around and get the door lock up - thank God for older model cars and metal lock/knob things! Open the driver's side door, jump in and pull the emergency brake. I'm hollering the whole time and have a bit of an audience (none of whom tried to physically stop the car@@). Mom/driver comes running over and starts yelling at me. Freaking yelling at me. Because I was in her car. Because I got her kid crying. I shoulda minded my own business. I was floored. My packages were strewn all around and damn if that freaking bitch didn't run over one of them as she got in and drove off. But the baby was okay - I'm sure she's screwed him up by now but at least that day he was safe and sound.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Oct 28, 2015 0:21:19 GMT
Pisses me off that some parents don't pay attention to what their kids are doing.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Oct 28, 2015 1:00:33 GMT
There are good parents and poor parents out there. There are also good parents having a bad day and good parents with difficult children/life circumstances who are currently overwhelmed. A single encounter makes it hard to determine which parent you encountered. This. So much this. I try so hard to be what y'all are describing as a "good parent" but I make mistakes and I have bad days and I am sometimes so tired I can cry and I am often completely, 100% overwhelmed with life. And sometimes, I am already 3 days late with my mother's birthday card and I *NEED* to take a minute to browse the Target card aisle to find one so my dad doesn't go apeshit on me for being a horrible person for being late with my own mother's birthday card and I let my kids look at the cards that sing or light up or whatever. Because that will buy me a solid 4 minutes of peace to take care of my own business because god help me if I have to buckle-and-unbuckle these kids into their car seats one more blessed time today. So, yeah, I suck. I just wonder if some of you remember how flipping hard this parenting gig is. Yes, I was married to a sailor, then a single parent for 10 yrs and married to current dh while he was also in the Navy. It is hard and a lot of work. No one is saying it isn't Hang in there and just do your best, people can tell when you are trying or not trying. We all want to give up at times, but that would just make it harder to get back on track. So just hang in there and it will all work out
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Post by yoursweetwhimsy on Oct 28, 2015 1:25:25 GMT
I used to be one of those people who merchandised the cards and kids were the least of my problem. Adults can trash a store display in record time. I would think that these adults who pick something up but don't feel it's their responsibility to put it back where they found it are most likely the parents of the children who exhibit the same disrespectful behavior. If I heard someone say, "that's what she gets paid for" one more time when they were questioned by someone about dumping their merchandise wherever I would have screamed. I literally say out loud how thankful I am to not work in retail anymore after many, many years doing so.
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Deleted
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May 17, 2024 4:30:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2015 1:41:11 GMT
What gets me are the people who traipse through the store, looking at items in a leisurely way, while their baby or toddler shrieks in the cart. I'm not talking about a harried parent who just ran in to get a few necessary items before bed time; I'm talking about the mom examining the lingerie, browsing through the books or makeup or housewares, having a phone conversation, all while her ignored baby cries loudly enough to raise the hair on the back of your neck. This seems to happen around afternoon nap time or close to bed time in the evening, and I want to shake these people and say, "Take your baby home and put him to bed!" I've actually left stores on two recent occasions because the crying had gone on unchecked for a long time. ETA: My girls are 12 and 14, and I still take them home if they start screaming in public. This bothers me more than it should when I see this happening in a store. It is such an effort to bring my son in public. It is usually only the grocery store for a few items because I'm afraid of what he will do. Then you see the leisurely lady letting the kid scream. I don't know if their kid is "normal" but I can't help but think how hard can it be woman? Your kid doesn't have issues! Even if they do, other customers shouldn't hear their prolonged tantrums. I probably wouldn't have said anything if I witnessed the event because I feel like there's been times my son hasn't been the best in public, but I do feel like I take care of the situation ASAP.
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Post by shelby on Oct 28, 2015 2:24:47 GMT
Sadly, then there is the other type of parent. I was shopping at Target the other day and two women came in the door with a little boy who looked to be about 4. He pulled out a shopping cart and proceeded to run into me with it. It didn't hurt me at all and it was very much an accident. One of the women saw what happened and grabbed him by his arm, slapped his face twice and screamed at him for hitting me. I told her it was fine that I knew he didn't mean to do it and she screamed at me to mind my own business that she would correct her terrible child however she wanted. My heart broke for the little guy and I couldn't help but wonder how he was treated when he wasn't in public.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Oct 28, 2015 2:40:10 GMT
I'm constantly amazed at how many people are so busy on their phones while shopping and completely ignoring their children. Kids crawling in the floor or rolling around, yanking stuff off shelves, screaming of playing with no parent in site. Kids climbing on displays or in a cart but not buckled in and standing in the seat. It's not that hard to pay attention to your kids. Most of us with kids had to take them with us to the store and got our shopping done and paid attention to our kids. Bring snacks and something to distract them it's not a difficult concept.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 28, 2015 2:51:00 GMT
I work in a grocery store and you would not believe the things people let their kids do. Yesterday I saw a little girl ( probably 4 or so) standing up in the top part of the cart! Those things can tip over easily and they are on wheels, her mom AND grandma were standing right there. I couldn't just go by so I caught the little girls eye and frowned. She sat down but I honestly could not believe these people. I am another one that is just shocked at how these parents let their kids do whatever they want. We were at a restaurant the other night and the table right next to us there was a little boy that was literally jumping up and down in the booth...running behind his dad and just acting silly. I kept expecting the dad to say something but he never did. Well, I caught the boy's attention and glared at him. Amazingly, he settled down. The parents were clueless the whole time. It also drives me crazy when I am at a booth and the kiddo in the booth adjacent to me is allowed to stand or kneel and face my table and have their head in our conversation. Sometimes this is allowed for a long time. I am not above saying a few randy things when this happens. Sometimes parents are just more about their peace and quiet above anyone else's.
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Post by imkat on Oct 28, 2015 2:53:51 GMT
I work in a grocery store and you would not believe the things people let their kids do. Yesterday I saw a little girl ( probably 4 or so) standing up in the top part of the cart! Those things can tip over easily and they are on wheels, her mom AND grandma were standing right there. I couldn't just go by so I caught the little girls eye and frowned. She sat down but I honestly could not believe these people.
I was in the checkout line behind a toddler standing up in the cart seat, and her mom was not paying attention. The cashier said, "Be careful, you are going to fall." Then the mom started yelling at the cashier, "Don't you dare talk to my child. You have no right, blah, blah, blah..." I think she knew that the cashier would avoid a confrontation and really took advantage of her position as a customer. I was so shocked by the entire situation that I could not say a word, and even a few years later really regretted that.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 28, 2015 3:00:22 GMT
There are good parents and poor parents out there. There are also good parents having a bad day and good parents with difficult children/life circumstances who are currently overwhelmed. A single encounter makes it hard to determine which parent you encountered. This. So much this. I try so hard to be what y'all are describing as a "good parent" but I make mistakes and I have bad days and I am sometimes so tired I can cry and I am often completely, 100% overwhelmed with life. And sometimes, I am already 3 days late with my mother's birthday card and I *NEED* to take a minute to browse the Target card aisle to find one so my dad doesn't go apeshit on me for being a horrible person for being late with my own mother's birthday card and I let my kids look at the cards that sing or light up or whatever. Because that will buy me a solid 4 minutes of peace to take care of my own business because god help me if I have to buckle-and-unbuckle these kids into their car seats one more blessed time today. So, yeah, I suck. I just wonder if some of you remember how flipping hard this parenting gig is. Kids can be turds for sure! I think what bothers me the most is the parent who is spending time on their phone and ignoring their kiddo's behavior. I think many people who have already raised their kids didn't have that technology to interfere with their parenting. I am thankful that was not available to me.
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Post by RiverIsis on Oct 28, 2015 3:01:41 GMT
I work in a grocery store and you would not believe the things people let their kids do. Yesterday I saw a little girl ( probably 4 or so) standing up in the top part of the cart! Those things can tip over easily and they are on wheels, her mom AND grandma were standing right there. I couldn't just go by so I caught the little girls eye and frowned. She sat down but I honestly could not believe these people.
I was in the checkout line behind a toddler standing up in the cart seat, and her mom was not paying attention. The cashier said, "Be careful, you are going to fall." Then the mom started yelling at the cashier, "Don't you dare talk to my child. You have no right, blah, blah, blah..." I think she knew that the cashier would avoid a confrontation and really took advantage of her position as a customer. I was so shocked by the entire situation that I could not say a word, and even a few years later really regretted that.
Yeah, I would wish I could say something to the Cashier like --- "don't worry, if the child falls I will give my details to the manager and give a notarized statement that you were looking out for the child's welfare and it was disregarded".... I life I would pick my battles carefully.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 28, 2015 3:10:47 GMT
When my youngest was four, we were in Target and he had been pushing my buttons. I had spent the day teaching and was not at my finest. When we got to the check out he started messing with something and I wagged my finger in his face and told him to knock it off. He, with his innocent chubby angel face drew back, held up his hand to his face and cried, "Momma, please don't hit me. They'll send you to jail…again!" I can just imagine what everyone in the store went home and said about me. For the record, I'd never been to jail or hit him (other than a swat to the rear on a rare occasion). By the time I got him to the car, I went from wanting to cry to thinking that really he was brilliant. Diabolically brilliant. Fifteen years later he still can zing me like no one else.
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Post by anniefb on Oct 28, 2015 4:39:22 GMT
I will let my 2-year-old touch things but only with one finger and generally only those things that aren't fragile. I would let her touch the cards but not bend them! Unless I am checking my shopping list or writing a text to my husband I don't use my phone while in stores either. In our house the rule was: "Look with your eyes." Yeah that ^^
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Oct 28, 2015 10:41:01 GMT
In our house the rule was: "Look with your eyes." In our house we say, "Look with your eyes and not with your hands."
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Post by MorellisCupcake on Oct 28, 2015 13:55:38 GMT
Unreal. I've had my less than stellar moments as a parent, but I really tried. DH and I have both hauled kids out of places for their bad behavior and spent more time waiting in the car with a whiner than we wanted to. I totally agree about having to discipline each kid in a different way. Adapt, you know? I had one I could reason with, one who was generally fine, and one who is a hot mess. (That child, now age 15, is on lockdown until Thanksgiving for something completely dumb he did last weekend. He's the one sent to test me.) And it's so true, you can tell the ones who are doing their best vs the ones who are entitled and spoiled and clueless. I was in Walmart once and this woman came up behind me with a little kid in the cart, smiling and waving at everyone. Mom was just..harrassed. You know those days where nothing goes right, and you're just done? Kind of like that. She unloads her cart onto the belt, and the little kid pipes up, "I lost my shoe!" The mother just stood there for a second, and said, "She lost her fucking shoe." And put everything back in the cart to go look for it.. I felt for her - that one thing that is just too much to deal with. I can't imagine yelling at someone who is trying to help. My oldest (now 21) was a runner..when I was pregnant with #2, she would wait until I was looking away and take off, knowing I couldn't move as fast to catch her. There was one time I was ready to cry in a store, and if my aim was better I probably would have thrown something at the kid to take her down (it was one of THOSE days), and a woman caught her near the door, said "listen to your mother!" and brought her back. Thankfully. And that toned DD down for a couple of weeks at least. Like I said, not perfect for sure. But TRY, damn it.
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Post by MorellisCupcake on Oct 28, 2015 13:56:42 GMT
I feel like some of the 'bad' parents think that the only things that count are what you choose to post, Instagram, blog, tweet, etc, about... A toddler picking out a card for their grandma makes a cute picture, but they forget that people are seeing what happens before and after that picture... The kid can destroy everything in sight, pose sweetly on cue, and then go right back to running wild... I think they forget, and consequently end up teaching the kids, that all that matters is what's in the photo or soundbite... I completely agree.
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Post by peasful1 on Oct 28, 2015 14:09:04 GMT
Welcome to the new generation of 'parenting.' Oh it's not new. Mediocre parenting has existed for as long as humans have walked this earth. More than a dozen years ago a kid in the grocery store was pounding on bags of flour, busting them open. The mom just steps away let him do it, saying nothing. I asked him to stop as he was ruining the store's products and property. The mom proceeded to scream at me at the top of her lungs. Telling me to mind my own business, something about birthing him from her loins so she was the only one with any right to say anything to him, and began following me around the store calling me a whore. I was sure I was going to get shot in the parking lot or something. but the kid did stop pounding the damn flour bags open.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Oct 28, 2015 14:52:17 GMT
My favourite from when I worked at The Disney Store is the parents who would drop their kids off at the store and go elsewhere to shop, essentially using us at the store as a babysitting service! And then they'd have the balls to be pissed off that we called mall security on them because they were "safe" with us. Ummmm... no.
Or the parents that would let their kids demolish plush mountain... or climb plush mountain... or hide in plush mountain... it was gross at the end of the day when we'd have to reset that monstrosity and find the gross junk the brats would leave behind.
Or the parents that would let kids play with the snow globes... and then break. Yeah... we had to destroy those things when they'd be broken. Not fun.
Disney is a great company to work for... but some parents could be real PITAs and get offended when we'd call them out on it (in a very Disney way of course).
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 28, 2015 17:36:51 GMT
I have a toddler. I'd be rich if I had a dollar for every time I see a parent ignoring their child because they're busy with their phone. I'd be even richer if I got a dollar for every time I see a parent treat their child's poor behavior passively or without consequence. My husband and I were raised fairly traditionally and are raising our son the same way. He is expected to be polite and kind. He isn't allowed to get into things that aren't his (drawers, purses, things at other people's homes). He is expected to wait his turn, share, etc. Things that I thought were simple common courtesy, though our interactions with other toddlers tend to leave me wondering if common courtesy is even a thing anymore. For example, my son has been in gymnastics for a year or so. There is one little boy in his class who is a terror. He refuses to wait in line and will ALWAYS push his way ahead for whatever activity is taking place. His parents stand there and passively watch him pushing while offering a half assed "Harrison! You should wait in line...." but don't actually do anything about their rude child. This then leads to a 5 minute disruption wherein the coach pulls the child off the trampoline/mat/whatever, the child throws a fit, and all the other kids have to wait and listen to this boy scream. Oddly enough, though, this little boy's parents make sure he doesn't cut in front of my son because I am the only person who actually said something to them. His mom gave me an exasperated shrug and said "boys! what are you going to do?" after this boy and had pushed his way in front of my son for the umpteenth time. I responded, "oh, I actually parent my boy. He'd push in front if he could because he's a toddler and he hates waiting in line. He waits because I hold his hand and he knows we'll go home if he behaves badly." I don't think those parents like me very much anymore Another boy who was in the last session was a hitter. He hit several of the children several times, and his parents, again, would just kind of chuckle and say his name. He hit a little girl and his mom (who happened to look up from her phone because of the little girl's loud cry) just said, "Johnny!" and picked him up. As she was walking away, she turned to look at the other girl and said, "sorry" as an afterthought. She didn't make her kid apologize and she didn't even look at the little girl, really. He was asked not to come back after that. What are these children going to be like as adults? In general, a child who isn't taught the simple rules of behavior as a toddler isn't going to magically become a polite and kind adult. I'm not a perfect parent by any means, and my son is not perfect, either. My husband and I understand, though, that parenting requires us to actually parent. As in, do the work of parenting, all day, every day. I don't know why this is such a foreign concept these days.
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