|
Post by leannec on Mar 21, 2016 21:12:42 GMT
Well when my kids were small and I was sick I just popped some aspirin and carried on with my day. And both my mom and my MIL live in my town. But back then there was no Facebook to vague-book on. If you need help, just ask. Don't play games. Val, as usual, is on my wavelength ... I'd have to be vomiting over and over before I'd expect my Mum or MIL to come over ...
|
|
|
Post by deekaye on Mar 21, 2016 21:22:14 GMT
Can I point out that not everyone lives on Facebook?? Maybe she just hasn't seen your post. If you need help, for heaven's sake, pick up the phone and call. If you don't want her help because she talks "bad" about you, don't call.
|
|
luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,067
Jun 25, 2014 21:21:08 GMT
|
Post by luckyexwife on Mar 21, 2016 21:24:35 GMT
I know she saw it. She liked the status. My DH doesn't have much to do with his mother cuz of circumstances I won't share, cuz they aren't mine. They are his. I only talk about what she does to me. I understand not wanting to share, but how is your relationship with your MIL? To me, this situation is much more complicated than the general question in the OP.
|
|
|
Post by izzyscraps on Mar 21, 2016 21:32:39 GMT
Between me and my MIL. To be very simple. She hasn't liked me from the very beginning. Talks bad about me to her friends. It's been 18 years.
But despite that. She's a good grandmother.
|
|
|
Post by Miss Lerins Momma on Mar 21, 2016 21:35:47 GMT
Absolutely! Heck I'd probably take over dinner as well! A little kindness goes a long way!
|
|
|
Post by jumperhop on Mar 21, 2016 21:43:00 GMT
I am in the if you need help call and ask for help. Don't post on facebook and then expect people to get the message. Jen
|
|
rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
|
Post by rickmer on Mar 21, 2016 21:46:16 GMT
i'm kinda surprised that she *liked* the status of you sick with a fever....
to answer the OP, so much would depend on the relationship between the players involved.
and certainly, if someone never liked me and talked badly about me.... well i wouldn't expect her to offer (and honestly, would be relieved she didn't....).
hope you are feeling better soon!
|
|
|
Post by nepean on Mar 21, 2016 21:48:23 GMT
Honestly, probably not, because I don't want those germs. I don't have any grandchildren so I can be heartless like that. That's assuming the kids are going to get it next. I wouldn't have expected my MIL to do that. No sense her getting sick too. ITA OP - I am sorry you feel so poorly I really am. Many of us have been right where you are today and it is no fun. I have 3 children, and it is hard when I get sick, and DH is away or at work. When my kids were younger the TV was great for days like that. I hope you start to feel better soon. But with that said, you cannot expect MIL to respond to unspoken expectations. You did not personally ask her for help. Sure it might have been nice of her to ask, but she is not required to do so. Last year my Mum and Dad were visiting my brother and his family, one of their little boys came down with the flu, and Mum ended up catching it from him. The exposure was quite limited, just a day or so, as Mum and Dad were preparing to leave anyway. Well she got very sick and ended up in the hospital with Pneumonia, and it took her 6 months! to fully regain her strength and energy! She is a pretty healthy person too. I avoid germs at all cost (note: I am not a germaphobe, I just don't have the time or energy to deal with sickness that can be avoided) and it is one of my pet peeves when people don't keep their germs to themselves. If I was the MIL in a situation like this I most likely would not offer either. Now I might make a meal and drop it over, offer to pick up groceries or something like that, but I would not willingly expose myself. Selfish I might be, but it is my choice. I share all that to say that it is likely that she doesn't want to be exposed to whatever germ you are carrying. Now I don't know the other circumstances in your relationship with MIL, but I don't think it is appropriate to be angry with her over something like this.
|
|
Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,978
Jun 25, 2014 20:07:06 GMT
|
Post by Sarah*H on Mar 21, 2016 22:09:13 GMT
You don't sound selfish, you sound passive aggressive. If you want help, ask.
|
|
Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,834
Location: NW PA
Jun 25, 2014 23:50:38 GMT
|
Post by Judy26 on Mar 21, 2016 22:09:34 GMT
Perhaps she is assuming that if you wanted help you would have asked for it. Or she could have plans and wasn't available. I try not to play mind reading games with people and never use Facebook as a way of communicating with others. It's too easy to misread someone's intentions. I hope you feel better soon!
|
|
|
Post by izzyscraps on Mar 21, 2016 22:16:57 GMT
I didn't post assuming she would offer to help. I actually didn't expect anything from her. I was just a little disappointed that she saw it, liked it and never said anything else. Well maybe that was expecting something.
I dunno. Now I know what the Peas think. Ha.
|
|
|
Post by christine58 on Mar 21, 2016 22:22:03 GMT
Don't be so passive aggressive about it...call her and ask for help. I hate those FB posts.... My mom always went to help my SIL when/if she was sick. Either she gave my mom a call or my brother did....this was before FB...
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Mar 21, 2016 22:22:23 GMT
My MIL and I have a great relationship. If she saw it, she would probably text and ask me if I wanted to have her come get the kids. IF I felt bad enough, I would call or text and see if she would take the kids.
My MIL is super awesome and loves having my kids. She has taken them when they are very sick so that DH and I can work (she's retired). She is amazing.
|
|
|
Post by izzyscraps on Mar 21, 2016 22:42:29 GMT
She is a great grandmother. Not so much MIL. Not for this reason. Others
|
|
|
Post by Yubon Peatlejuice on Mar 21, 2016 22:53:54 GMT
I knew when I read your OP that you were the DIL. You've whined like this before. Did you see the thread about mayrtrs? Yeah, you're one of those.
|
|
|
Post by maryland on Mar 21, 2016 23:07:54 GMT
Not everyone always is on facebook. I am on a lot, but often miss things, even if I look on facebook regularly. I would just call her and ask if she could help out.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 18:40:54 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2016 23:09:59 GMT
If you want help, ask. So your post was a "test" of sorts, and MIL failed the test. I much prefer people who are authentic and straightforward.
|
|
|
Post by izzyscraps on Mar 21, 2016 23:15:22 GMT
Nope. Wasn't a test.
I guess I do whine about my MIL a lot, Yubon.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 18:40:54 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2016 23:22:07 GMT
I probably would offer if it were me but my MIL takes a long time to get over an illness if she gets something so I wouldn't expect her to possibly subject herself to my sick germs. No one ever offered to watch my kids when I was sick and they were little and I never even thought about asking anyone. To me, that was just part of life. Of course, I never had anything serious. That would have changed things, I'm sure.
|
|
|
Post by moveablefeast on Mar 21, 2016 23:29:30 GMT
I wouldn't expect it from my MIL, but then my MIL is very uninvolved in our lives.
I frequently offer to host my friends' kids when the parent is ill and friends have done the same for me, but I don't expect it, it's just something that we do.
I figure if she didn't offer its because she didn't want to do it for whatever reason. I have often wished for more from my MIL but you can't win them all.
|
|
quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,708
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
|
Post by quiltz on Mar 21, 2016 23:53:28 GMT
Nope. Wasn't a test. I guess I do whine about my MIL a lot, Yubon. Rather than whining about your MIL what could you do to improve your relationship? Using passive agressive behaviour is for the middle school set, not for adults.
|
|
caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
|
Post by caro on Mar 21, 2016 23:55:36 GMT
Of course I would offer and hope DIL would accept the offer. Are you offended she didn't call you and you had to read on FB?
|
|
|
Post by izzyscraps on Mar 21, 2016 23:55:56 GMT
I spent years trying that lostinspace. Didn't work. Thanks though.
|
|
quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,708
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
|
Post by quiltz on Mar 22, 2016 0:01:57 GMT
You still don't have to behave in a passive aggressive manner.
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Mar 22, 2016 0:03:17 GMT
Honestly? If I had a not-great relationship with my MIL, I wouldn't want to give her any ammo by enlisting her help.
|
|
|
Post by izzyscraps on Mar 22, 2016 0:03:44 GMT
Thanks. It was just a post. Everyone posts how they are feeling. When she liked my status o started wondering why she didn't offer. Wasn't passive aggressive. Was just a post.
I just need to let it go. I got it.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 18:40:54 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2016 0:12:27 GMT
I'm really sorry you aren't feeling well. Being sick always seems to make me more emotional and when you already have a strained relationship with someone, not feeling well probably made it harder to take what I'm sure felt like her being uncaring. I'm not implying you are being too emotional, just saying that's how I feel when I am sick and I think that is kind of normal. I really do hope you are feeling better soon.
|
|
Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,978
Jun 25, 2014 20:07:06 GMT
|
Post by Sarah*H on Mar 22, 2016 0:41:21 GMT
Actually, it really is. You may not see it but for those of us who have dealt with passive aggressive people in our lives, your OP was a blaring red flag. Whatever the background is, you are the only one who can change your own communication patterns.
|
|
|
Post by izzyscraps on Mar 22, 2016 0:51:28 GMT
No it really wasn't. It was just a status. All the rest came after she liked it.
|
|
georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
|
Post by georgiapea on Mar 22, 2016 1:08:38 GMT
Aw, Izzy, if you were still here I'd come and take your kiddies for the day! Maybe you MIL hasn't been on Facebook today.
|
|