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Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Mar 28, 2016 7:51:42 GMT
I'm not planning on getting divorced ever, but my decision to change my name would depend on the reason for the divorce. It would have to be a really ugly situation, since I've had my married name since I was 20, and have two children with our family name. I'm about to turn 50, and it's been my name, my entire adult, now middle aged, life. Not to mention, my mother admitted to never saying my first and last name out loud together, before she signed my birth certificate. It's terribly singy-songy. A friend of mine has been divorced 3 times. Her first divorce she went back to her maiden name. She kept her maiden name for her 2nd marriage. Third marriage she took her husbands name. When they divorced, she changed her name to her 2nd husbands last name. She said she was ready for a change. For years we've teased her to stop juggling last names, and just go by her first name like Cher or Madonna. She has been dating a man for almost a year, and his last name is the same as her first name. She's never been on a third date with a man she didn't marry. Maybe 4th time is the charm.
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kay2rn
Junior Member
Posts: 67
Location: Wisconsin
Jun 26, 2014 2:52:20 GMT
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Post by kay2rn on Mar 28, 2016 13:29:48 GMT
I was not planning on getting divorced either. But surprise, surprise, it's happening! It's not what I want and didn't foresee this happening. I plan to keep my married name. It's been mine for the last 22 years.
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Post by BoilerUp! on Mar 28, 2016 15:10:14 GMT
If I had kids, I wouldn't
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Post by 2peafaithful on Mar 28, 2016 19:41:01 GMT
I didn't go back to my maiden name. We had been married for 10 years, had to kids with the same last name and my entire adult life this was my life.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Mar 28, 2016 20:15:17 GMT
I kept my name. I wanted to be remarried some day so I thought it would be too confusing to keep jumping my name around. Plus I'd build a little business on my former married name. My oldest wanted me to keep my name to be the same as his when I remarried but I really didn't want to do that. In that case, I would have went back to my maiden before keeping my ex's name with my new husband.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 21:55:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2016 20:15:46 GMT
I got divorced when my son was only 2 back in 2004. I have kept my married name (though I always go by Ms.) because I didn't want my son to have a different last name than me while young (that is just me)
My son is going into high school this year, and I feel ready to go back to my maiden name. I like both names to be honest, they are both easy to spell and pronounce. I've always known I'd go back when my son was older though.
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Post by brina on Mar 28, 2016 22:28:56 GMT
If I were to get divorced I would go back to my maiden name. I like it and I miss it. My kids are old enough that I don't think it will matter if we don't match. I do know that their friends will probably continue to call me Mrs. Marriedname, because I have seen that happen with a number of friends. Most are chill about it but one keeps getting pissy about it.
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Post by FLA SummerBaby on Mar 28, 2016 22:41:56 GMT
I was hyphenated while married but we named DD after my then DH. Then he walked out when she was only 11 weeks. In hindsight, I wish that I had either given her my maiden name or hyphenated her name. After the d'v, I returned to my maiden name and she of course has her father's last name. Though he has had very little involvement with her all these years. She said she has always felt a bit "on the outside" as all her family (that she knows and is close to) share my name instead of hers. I wish that she shared my name. So that doesn't exactly answer the OP -- that was my situation.
To answer your original question-- do whatever makes you happy. If you wish to keep your ex's name and also have the same name as your kids, then keep it. If you are going to dislike/regret having that married name, then change it now. Remember too, you can keep the married name if you feel torn about you want to do. You always have the option of changing back to your maiden name later on (at your $$).
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,947
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Mar 28, 2016 23:32:22 GMT
Thanks again everyone for your input! I've talked to several close friends and my kids and with each conversation I find myself saying I want to keep it. So, I am keeping it.
Lisa D.
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Post by scrappersue on Mar 28, 2016 23:47:58 GMT
I went back to my maiden name. My kids were little. I really, really didn't want to be associated with my XH anymore. I have not regretted it once.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,792
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Mar 28, 2016 23:50:58 GMT
I kept my married name. For me, it was so my last name matched my son's. And I didn't want to change driver's license and such, too!
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Post by myboysnme on Mar 29, 2016 0:36:25 GMT
I went back to my birth name, and when I remarried I kept it. So my children do not have the same last name as me. I have the name I was born with. I decided I wasn't going to change my name based on what man I was with. I have a diploma I worked very hard for with the name of a man I haven't been married to for 30 years.
People call me by my married name but legally and at work I use my birth name.
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vforeyt
Shy Member
Posts: 48
Jun 26, 2014 3:03:55 GMT
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Post by vforeyt on Mar 29, 2016 3:18:48 GMT
When my ex left, some 35 years ago, I was pregnant. I had already decided I wanted to go back to my maiden name and since my daughter wasn't born yet my lawyer said I could give her whatever last name I wanted. I gave her my maiden name and then switched mine back after the divorce. My daughter has never met her dad and had no interest in doing so.
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