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Post by marmargirl on Apr 11, 2016 22:44:49 GMT
holy shit. Be strong. Does he know you know? You know the 2Peas rules: document, and save all important information. He knows I know. He sent me a subsequent text saying, "Please disregard." Wow. What a jackass! Good luck to you and your children!
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Post by cmpeter on Apr 11, 2016 22:48:54 GMT
Oh wow, I am sorry he's such a jackass. Although, it sounds like it's a good think he's a careless/dumb jackass.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Apr 11, 2016 22:54:30 GMT
I know you said not to say we're sorry, but I am. Even though I have not doubt that you will be better off and ROCK your life, it's still a difficult thing to go through and we're here for you!
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
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Post by scrapaddie on Apr 11, 2016 22:54:37 GMT
holy shit. Be strong. Does he know you know? You know the 2Peas rules: document, and save all important information. He knows I know. He sent me a subsequent text saying, "Please disregard." Please disregard !!!! How funny!!! And a good indication of what you have been dealing with!!! As others have said.... Get copies of everything!! Titles, accounts, bills, etc!!
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,511
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Apr 11, 2016 23:00:27 GMT
Disregard?!? That's rich.
My DH and I sometimes get each other's texts and calls - we share an Apple ID, but we have separate numbers and *usually* things are correctly routed. If either one of us were to step out on the other, it would probably come to light pretty quickly!
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Post by lucyg on Apr 11, 2016 23:18:04 GMT
My gosh, I am so sorry. Seems like a crappy day for us to be discussing (in a more academic way) attitudes toward cheating spouses. Sorry again. You take good care of yourself, okay?
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Post by seikashaven on Apr 11, 2016 23:22:15 GMT
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
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Post by maryland on Apr 11, 2016 23:22:37 GMT
Good for you getting away from that jerk! So glad "it's a good thing", he doesn't deserve you. My friend did something similar to her husband (he found out about her affair in an email. He is much better off now!).
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,960
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Apr 11, 2016 23:29:33 GMT
OMG! What a freaking moron!
Please disregard. Seriously - I can't even .....
I am glad that this is a relief to you. Good luck!
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julieb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,845
Jul 3, 2014 16:02:54 GMT
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Post by julieb on Apr 11, 2016 23:31:55 GMT
So sorry! Stay strong.
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Post by scrapulous on Apr 11, 2016 23:32:47 GMT
Please disregard?? ?? Yeah sure. Sounds like he really didn't mind being caught. May have even let it slip on purpose.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Apr 11, 2016 23:36:28 GMT
Please disregard? WTH?? so what did you say in response/?!!
In terms of screen shots though, and all that, proof of an affair, does it really matter in the long run with divorce? Aren't most states no fault divorce, so it really does NOT matter. Just your sense of proof I suppose?
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,767
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Apr 11, 2016 23:39:02 GMT
OMG! His response cracks me up!
Congratulations on knowing the truth and cutting the man out.
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Post by Blind Squirrel on Apr 11, 2016 23:44:26 GMT
Congratulations on knowing what you are dealing with and best wishes for a very bright future!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 28, 2024 9:02:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2016 0:02:44 GMT
Wow! What an ass. I'm glad though, that this is a relief to you. Still, it's going to be hard going forward. I hope you have a great support team around you. Sending you gentle hugs and good thoughts.
Now, take his cheatin' ass to the cleaners, yo!
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Post by Really Red on Apr 12, 2016 0:04:14 GMT
I'm sorry. Even if it is a good thing (and I cannot think how it's not a good thing), it's still difficult and hard and hateful. And anyone who says "Please disregard" about a love text he sent to someone else is just all kinds of insane.
A couple thoughts, even though you have a good lawyer, mine was all about what was fair and right in our state. Don't forget health care and who is responsible. Mine is very expensive and I didn't think about it. I may have married an idiot, but he was a nice idiot and pays for those expenses even though it's not in the decree. Also, my ex earns nearly 3x what I earn. As such he pays 75% of extra costs like travel sports and stuff and other things you don't think about until you get the bill.
Good luck!!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 28, 2024 9:02:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2016 0:11:44 GMT
I would be tempted to say, "Disregard the marriage? I think you already did that." I'm so sorry he's such a jerk. Even though it's for the best, I know that has to hurt.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Apr 12, 2016 0:12:41 GMT
I wish you the best as you deal with this and hope you end up very happy on the other side of it all.
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
Jun 25, 2014 19:53:37 GMT
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Post by Mystie on Apr 12, 2016 0:15:10 GMT
I am glad you are heading down a new path and feeling good about it. You are going to be just fine. And we're all here for you. Like they say, you just lost 200 pounds of dead weight!
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Post by ametallichick on Apr 12, 2016 0:26:47 GMT
When did this happen? Have you seen him since? What an asshat!
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Post by AussieMeg on Apr 12, 2016 0:30:40 GMT
I know you said not to say it, but I am sorry. Sorry that he's such I dick more than anything I guess. I'm glad that you are seeing it as a good thing, and I know that pretty much everyone here who has been through the same thing will say it worked out to be the best thing that could have happened, even if it takes them a while to come to that conclusion. Luckily for you, you're already there! Take care.
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Post by gramasue on Apr 12, 2016 0:43:02 GMT
"Please disregard" !! That would be funny if it weren't so pathetic. I'm sure the proof gave you an overall feeling of relief and calm, though. So, as Jimmy Buffet once said "Breathe in, breathe out, move on."
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Post by jenjie on Apr 12, 2016 0:43:04 GMT
Moron. He doesn't know the treasure he threw away.
Today you are feeling strong and determined. On the day the hurt pushes through and the questions invade, remember you are not defined by the way he treats you. You are a woman of value, worth so much more than he sees. You do not deserve what happened. This is about his character flaws, not yours.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 28, 2024 9:02:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2016 1:01:09 GMT
I'm so sorry. I cannot believe he actually typed out "please disregard". You should've replied "oh okay...sure". (while calling a good divorce attorney)
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Post by mlynn on Apr 12, 2016 1:02:18 GMT
I received an accidental 2am text from DH while he was away on business last week, professing his adoration for an apparent new love interest. I have an appointment with an attorney on Wednesday. Don't say you're sorry -- this is a good thing. A validating thing. I had already found him doing other deal-breaking things. I feel relieved, and happier than I've been in months. I think he'll be paying more attention to his texts lol.
He knows I know. He sent me a subsequent text saying, "Please disregard."
My first reaction was my jaw dropping. The nerve! After the initial reaction wore off, I got to wondering if the other woman was with him and SHE was using his phone. Not that it makes a difference in the outcome. But maybe he is not THAT asshat. Just one of a slightly different color.
I am glad that you are comfortable with the implications. I am sorry that he was not the man that you thought he was. I know it is difficult to go through divorce even if you want it. I pray for your comfort during the difficult moments and for your peace. And I hope that you are even getting a sense of excitement about the future..
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 28, 2024 9:02:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2016 1:04:55 GMT
I'd like to take a number and get in line to call him a total jackass. (((hugs))) I'm glad you're relieved and ready to move forward. Good for you taking decisive action.
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Post by peasapie on Apr 12, 2016 1:11:15 GMT
Well at last you have the proof and don't have to make yourself nuts wondering, which is what I did for years before I confirmed the truth. It sucks. What a jerk he is.
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Post by ilikepink on Apr 12, 2016 1:16:31 GMT
I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again: men suck.
Move on - you will be So much better off!!
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 12, 2016 1:24:27 GMT
I agree that his response was ridiculous, but I don't know what would have been better (and not a lie), so hopefully his screw up moves things along. I don't know your story, but I do remember you talking about someone checking up on you here. Hopefully with him out of town you will have the time to get some things in order if you haven't started already. Good luck.
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Post by Drew on Apr 12, 2016 1:25:23 GMT
Thank you for all of the support!
Naturally I was up all night after the texts and I had some long conversations with myself. One of the issues I had to face was how to deal with him going forward. Keeping in mind that there are 3 kids in the mix, I came up with this -
Is what I'm about to say or text;
Snarky? Helpful? Does it matter?
My answers to those questions are my criteria if I say or text the words. I'm not gonna be the snarky one, I will try to only say helpful things, and if it doesn't matter, I won't say it or text it. I'm going to keep my side of the street clean.
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