lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,180
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Apr 15, 2016 14:49:59 GMT
let's just say it was over a cultural fit..they wanted to "keep the gender balance" in the group (I had been there three years)..basically too opinionated... I read every book every month.. most of the other members did not. I also suggested many of the books we did read.. but not every one was a hit. I didn't fit into the wealthy know it all, done it all group. my friend had been in the group over 10 yrs and had kept the records.. kept it on track.. and she was disgusted with how I was treated..I was sent an email disinviting me..the excuse was that I never hosted the group in my house.. and the gender balance was not even and I didn't live in the same area as they all did. since then, the group has fallen apart..one member died, one member moved, one member is dying...one is developing early onset dementia. I live more a middle class life..without the multimillion dollar home or lifestyle...also I was not properly vetted when I joined..so "who let me in".. it was all a big excuse. It sounds like it was all rather nasty and snobby. I'm sorry. I also rather wish it had been for something much more outrageous...
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,032
Jun 26, 2014 19:29:07 GMT
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Post by scrappyesq on Apr 15, 2016 15:12:50 GMT
I feel a bit self-conscious talking about what books I’ve been reading on the weekly reading threads here, because the other girls seem to read much heavier and intellectual books than what I do. See this is what I meant when I posted earlier, that if I read a different sort of book to someone, then even without me saying anything, other people assume I am putting down their book choices. For example right now I am listening to Macbeth. Why? Because I read it several times at school and it was my main book for a year and I did my final exam essay on it, so it's a book I know quite well. Last year I read "Not My father's Son" by Alan Cumming and I loved his voice. Then I went looking for other books narrated by him and found there was a new version of Macbeth written as a novel and narrated by Cumming, and it was on sale...so I bought it. So if you ask me what I'm reading and I say "Macbeth" that does not I'm thinking "ooh look at me I read Shakespeare and you're just reading Marian Keyes so I'm so much smarter than you" It's just what I am reading and there's reasons behind my choice, so ask me about it and I'll tell you, and then you'll probably tell me about some of the books you read in high school and what you liked or didn't like. Then I'll ask you about your book and you'll tell me why you like that genre/author etc, and we'll keep talking about books....that's how the conversation *should* go. However I do find that as a person who does like to read what others perceive to be "heavier/intellectual books" it means other people make assumptions that their choices aren't up to par and so they shut down the book conversation totally. I may dislike specific books or specific genres or I may think something is badly written or is too simplistic, but that's the *book* I don't think the same things (necessarily) apply to the person who reads them.
Its crazy, right? Folks love to get all in a kerfuffle (again, not you AussieMeg) about what I'm reading if I mention romance. Or even Dostoyevsky!! I'm either way too lowbrow or too highbrow. I can't win. When. I see people reading I'm just so happy they have a BOOK I really don't care what its about.
A few years back I remember there was a line out the door of a Barnes and Noble for a Nicholas Sparks book (someone who I'm admittedly not a fan of ). Someone made a snarky comment and I had to jump in and remind her that it is all about reading.
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Post by anxiousmom on Apr 15, 2016 15:20:54 GMT
I dabble in a bunch of different genres, even crappy romance (side eye at you AussieMeg LOL!!). Nothing stops a book conversation faster than telling someone their taste in books is crappy (sorry AussieMeg)! I feel bad now for my comment. And the funny thing is, I feel a bit self-conscious talking about what books I’ve been reading on the weekly reading threads here, because the other girls seem to read much heavier and intellectual books than what I do. My books are mainly crime fiction and thrillers – Michael Connelly, David Baldacci, Jeffery Deaver, James Patterson, Ian Rankin and my new favorite, Angela Marsons. And I get my chick lit fix from Marian Keyes and the occasional Cathy Kelly book. I am a voracious reader...like if I really get into a good book I can't put it down and can two or three in a week. Often, I read our book club selection in a day or two. But I hardly ever talk about what I am reading because right now I am on a total end of the world apocalypse is happening lets run for the hills kick. I don't care if it is zombies, EMPs, the government is taking over (although with those I do roll my eyes ALOT) or aliens-I will read them all. It is a funny genre of books that people always look at me in askance when I mention it. So I just don't talk about it. I also like spy thrillers with lots of shoot 'em ups with the bad guy terrorists. Another area that tends to have either women who don't read them or admit that they read them ( ) so all in all I keep what I read to myself.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Apr 15, 2016 15:31:56 GMT
i have a dear friend that i loved sharing authors and books with, dishing about this and that book-related. i noticed recently whenever i have emailed him book suggestions or asked what he is reading, he doesn't reply to anything bookish. we skype'd the other day as they live in calgary now and his partner shares with me that "oh, he is obsessed with twitter, he doesn't read books anymore". my friend pipes up from the background "almost 5000 followers merrick!!!". i said you sound like my teen dd and you are 49 years old! it's odd but i was really sad after that conversation... i can't believe he has given up on books. like seriously, how involved can any thought or description or idea be in 140 characters or less? i think i was grieving for the end of that part of our friendship. luckily, there are lots of other great parts to our friendship. so i think we are good.
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Post by utmr on Apr 15, 2016 15:35:30 GMT
I also love spy thrillers and dystopian/apocalyptic fiction. I've found so many good suggestions from our reading lists here as well as at Goodreads. Some things outside my comfort zone too.
I like the concept of a book group - social chat, wine, some new friends- but I don't care for deep literature. In school I was never good at analyzing what the author "really " meant. The dog is a dog, not a metaphor for the plight of women in 17th century Russia or whatever.
I'm afraid I would get fired from book club for preferring escapism fiction to deep literary discussion of important books. Sounds like fun though.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Apr 15, 2016 16:04:28 GMT
since I've never belonged to a book group, I don't know exactly how the discussions would go, but I have a feeling I'm more in line with your way of thinking, utmr . I've read a number of books that have the 'discussion questions' at the back, and some of them seem pretty... basic? odd? I don't know how to put it, really... to me. Like: "how do you think Mary felt when XXX happened?" or "what do you think you'd do if you were in that situation?" I don't really *think* about the events in a book on that level, and sometimes I wonder if that means I'm more shallow than I think? Because my answer to that would be something on the lines of "well, it probably sucked!" but it wouldn't generate any additional discussion. I mean, I like most of the books I read and some books do get me thinking, but the thinking is more in a more *general* sense. For instance, I've read a number of fiction books about life in early China-- geishas, foot binding, etc. and books about the lives of Asians coming to Hawaii and the western US during the early 20th century. Reading those kinds of books makes me interested to learn more about the actual historical events and cultural norms of the time; they don't necessarily make me think more deeply about the specific book characters. So I don't know if a book group discussion would be for me. I'd rather have a book group discussion like pjaye described-- jumping from topic to topic-- not just discussing that one book.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Apr 15, 2016 16:36:00 GMT
I also love spy thrillers and dystopian/apocalyptic fiction. I've found so many good suggestions from our reading lists here as well as at Goodreads. Some things outside my comfort zone too. I like the concept of a book group - social chat, wine, some new friends- but I don't care for deep literature. In school I was never good at analyzing what the author "really " meant. The dog is a dog, not a metaphor for the plight of women in 17th century Russia or whatever. I'm afraid I would get fired from book club for preferring escapism fiction to deep literary discussion of important books. Sounds like fun though. utmr Have you read Susan Ee? I devoured her dystopian series Angelfall, World After, End of Days.
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Post by AussieMeg on Apr 15, 2016 23:26:31 GMT
Like: "how do you think Mary felt when XXX happened?" or "what do you think you'd do if you were in that situation?" I don't really *think* about the events in a book on that level, and sometimes I wonder if that means I'm more shallow than I think? I know what you mean. I just want to enjoy a book then move on to the next one. I did English and English Literature through to Year 12 at school, so I spend a LOT of time discussing books in depth. Now I just want to enjoy them at a different level.
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