Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299 
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Post by Mystie on May 23, 2016 23:33:07 GMT
My husband's family is getting together in July for our annual family thing. We are all renting a house together in a state park. We're excited because we get to be together for a week this time instead of just three or four days! It will be me and my husband, his parents, his sister and her husband and their two girls, and his other sister and her two kids. We're only able to have the whole family together once or twice a year at most, so it's a big deal and we all look forward to it. My nephew is 15, and he has a 14-year-old girlfriend. His mom wants to invite Girlfriend along for the week, because she thinks my nephew will be "bored." As far as I know this is her (Mom's) idea, not my nephew's. My mother-in-law is really dragging her feet and resisting this because she feels like this is a family event and my nephew should be spending time with his family, not holed up with his girlfriend all week. I lean toward my MIL's opinion, too, because I have not seen my nephew in a year and I was really looking forward to hanging out with him and chatting and catching up, and I feel like having his girlfriend there will pretty much cramp that. Of course if she comes we will totally welcome her and make her part of the gang...but am I wrong in thinking that my sister-in-law is being a little...I don't know...thoughtless? Surely a 15-year-old can live without his girlfriend for a week. I was just curious what the Peas think about this.  |
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Post by christine58 on May 23, 2016 23:35:35 GMT
No is a complete sentence
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Post by Miss Ang on May 23, 2016 23:36:28 GMT
14 and 15 .... hahahahahahaa No. I would not think that is necessary or appropriate. At 19 and 20 AND if they are in a long standing relationship, sure.
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Post by scrappersue on May 23, 2016 23:42:38 GMT
I agree if they were older it would seem more appropriate. I'm not sure I would send my 14 year old daughter for a week with her boyfriend's family.
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Post by salem on May 23, 2016 23:49:42 GMT
Well, there's no way in hell my 14 year old DD would be going away with her boyfriend and his family for a week. The nephew will be just fine spending time with his family.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 23, 2016 23:52:38 GMT
At that age, I'd probably veto the idea of girlfriends going along.
However, I've hosted plenty of girlfriend visits in our home overnight at older ages though. I have taken a girlfriend along to a Navy boot camp graduation and subsequent visit to the same Navy boy. And we're having a girlfriend join us while we rent a beach house in Florida in a couple of weeks. So... I am not at all opposed to the idea of girlfriends being included. With four sons, we either have to make our peace with girlfriends or see less of the boys! KWIM?
But at 14-15 years of age? I do think I might discourage that one.
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Post by peano on May 23, 2016 23:56:55 GMT
I don't necessarily balk at the age of the kids, but since this involves not only the nephew's immediate family, but extended family as well, I would say no.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,507
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Post by ellen on May 24, 2016 0:18:42 GMT
I'd never let my 14 year old daughter go along with something like this because she has no business being on a boyfriend's family vacation at that age. So I think it's not ok for the boyfriend's family to offer an invite. If they were older I'd see it differently, but 14 is young.
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Post by anxiousmom on May 24, 2016 0:21:30 GMT
My son is frequently invited to tag along with his girlfriend's family for overnights at the beach, and she has been invited to tag along with us. But they are 17 and have been dating for two years and the overnight invites didn't start until they had been dating for at least year. I think, kind of like what Spongemom Scrappants said- as the mother of boys, I have to get used to having the girlfriends participate or I will never see the boys. |
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Post by epeanymous on May 24, 2016 0:22:58 GMT
That's a no. And I am pretty open-minded about this kind of thing generally.
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Post by mirabelleswalker on May 24, 2016 0:26:54 GMT
No way.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on May 24, 2016 0:29:37 GMT
A romantic vacation in the woods seems like the fastest way to become a grandma.  |
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Post by LilyRose on May 24, 2016 0:30:47 GMT
At that age I don't think it's necessary to bring along the girlfriend.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,391
Location: Lost in my supplies...
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Post by kelly8875 on May 24, 2016 0:32:47 GMT
Nope. First off, it's a FAMILY vacation. Secondly, he should be able to be plenty entertained with the rest of the family and family activities around him. Third...the girlfriend is not part of the family...
Nope
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on May 24, 2016 0:33:51 GMT
I'm pretty liberal with no hard line rules with regard to age and dating, etc. But this is unnecessary. I can't think of a good reason. And I despise the idea of "bored".
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on May 24, 2016 0:36:30 GMT
Does the boy have a friend (another boy) that he could bring along?
I get wanting to have someone your own age to hang out with, but let's not make it awkward for everyone else!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 1:32:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 0:37:22 GMT
My answer would be a big fat no.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 24, 2016 0:38:36 GMT
If she was my daughter I would not allow her to go on overnights with a boy.
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Post by 950nancy on May 24, 2016 0:44:43 GMT
14 and 15 .... hahahahahahaa No. I would not think that is necessary or appropriate. At 19 and 20 AND if they are in a long standing relationship, sure. Last year my husband suggested we take my son's gf along with us to Jamaica. I was not on board. My oldest son could not go and it would have been the three of us going together. After some thought and planning (separate spaces, beds etc.) we decided to invite her. She was three weeks shy of being 18 and had been a part of our family for five years. She frequently goes to the lake with us (an hour away) and sleeps in a sleeping bag with several other kids on the top level of a houseboat. This year, she went with us to Mexico. I know people had suggested that she accompany us on other trips before, but it just didn't seem right to me. They were too young. Too many things could go wrong. I am glad we waited and feel like when we take her on trips she is also a buddy (at times) for me. Having only vacationed with males, a female travel mate was great. I think that 14 and 15 is too young. It sounds like the son will have a lot of people to hang out with and doesn't need to bring a friend this time. |
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Post by cmpeter on May 24, 2016 0:47:47 GMT
We have taken my son's gf with us on vacation before. But, they were much older. 14-15, is too young in my opinion
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Post by freecharlie on May 24, 2016 0:48:35 GMT
Wow, there is no way in hell we would be bringing ds's gf on vacation with us (he's almost 15). Not appropriate at that age. If there were no cousins close to his age, I could see inviting a friend his age...male
There is a different dynamic when it is a girlfriend
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Post by 950nancy on May 24, 2016 0:50:04 GMT
My son is frequently invited to tag along with his girlfriend's family for overnights at the beach, and she has been invited to tag along with us. But they are 17 and have been dating for two years and the overnight invites didn't start until they had been dating for at least year. I think, kind of like what Spongemom Scrappants said- as the mother of boys, I have to get used to having the girlfriends participate or I will never see the boys.Luckily my boys still like to hang out with us, but you never know who your son is going to marry. And having built these relationships with the young ladies before it gets too serious is a good thing. We don't have a lot of different ladies coming and going, but I always try to treat each one they bring around with kindness. My MIL was a pill to me and I don't want to be that person. |
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Post by pierkiss on May 24, 2016 0:50:28 GMT
Nope.
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Post by gritzi on May 24, 2016 0:52:11 GMT
A 15 taking his 14yo girlfriend on vacation? Oh NO, not in my household! A male friend to hang with wouldn't be an issue. A 14yo girlfriend on vacation isn't an option.
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Post by refugeepea on May 24, 2016 1:00:46 GMT
Who's paying on this vacation rental? Everyone? Just Grandma? I think the person paying has the final say. I still would not want it to happen. I can't imagine a mother wanting this to happen. I just wouldn't want to worry about them going off somewhere and having sex. Not on my watch.
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
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Post by Mystie on May 24, 2016 1:01:29 GMT
At that age, I'd probably veto the idea of girlfriends going along. However, I've hosted plenty of girlfriend visits in our home overnight at older ages though. I have taken a girlfriend along to a Navy boot camp graduation and subsequent visit to the same Navy boy. And we're having a girlfriend join us while we rent a beach house in Florida in a couple of weeks. So... I am not at all opposed to the idea of girlfriends being included. With four sons, we either have to make our peace with girlfriends or see less of the boys! KWIM? But at 14-15 years of age? I do think I might discourage that one. I totally agree. If they were 18, 19, 20, I would have zero problem with her joining us. But at this age it seems silly and unnecessary, and frankly, I think he should be focusing on us, his family, because that's what the trip is for. |
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,751
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on May 24, 2016 1:12:47 GMT
I'm a no. But I'm a no about girlsfriends/boyfriends even friends on family vacations anyway. For me, it's a family vacation and my kid would me spending time with whoever they brought - not our family- which is the point. My opinion is provably colored by the dynamics in our family which is three dds pretty close in age so there is always someone for them to hang out with already.
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
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Post by LeaP on May 24, 2016 1:27:04 GMT
Umm, no. I must be a free range parent poser because my first thought was freecharlie 's post. It is a family reunion and boredom can be good for kids. |
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Post by craftsbycarolyn on May 24, 2016 1:48:51 GMT
I wouldn't be letting my 14 year old go on vacation with her boyfriend, but I can't imagine asking my 15 year olds gf to go. So big fat no for me.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on May 24, 2016 1:49:15 GMT
As the mother of a 13 year old.. there is no way in HELL she would go on vacation with her boyfriend... not that she has one.. not at 14 not at 15 maybe 17 or 18... but I would not even consider it before.
Who ever is responsible needs to say NO family only.
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