|
Post by Karmady on Jun 13, 2016 23:34:47 GMT
No. I couldn't leave minor children. I love hanging out with my kids and 2 of them are adults
|
|
amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,329
Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
|
Post by amom23 on Jun 13, 2016 23:35:03 GMT
I would never leave my kids, but my dad did after he and my mom divorced. As a parent now myself it's still hard to wrap my brain around how a parent could just up and leave their children. I know a lady who moved to Denver and left her 2 kids ages 3 and 4 with her X husband back in NC. Her reasoning is she had to work on herself.
|
|
cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,375
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
|
Post by cycworker on Jun 13, 2016 23:52:43 GMT
My dad moved to Vancouver Island from Abbotsford when he & his first wife split. Was needed for work. He still saw my older brother regularly.
The only time I've seen it is the case with my pastor & his wife. He got a calling to a different congregation, in Edmonton. Their youngest was in gr 11, going into grade 12. He stayed with family friends so he didn't have to change schools.
I did wonder why his wife didn't stay for the year or so that he needed to finish school. I think the cost of running two homes & commuting to visit was prohibitive.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 4, 2024 19:33:13 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 0:18:07 GMT
No way! You brought them onto this world and it's your responsibility to be in their lives until they are independent enough to be on their own. Your career takes a backseat, you gave birth, your children come first!
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 4, 2024 19:33:13 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 0:20:06 GMT
Not a chance, and I couldn't respect someone who would do that.
|
|
|
Post by cyndijane on Jun 14, 2016 0:26:57 GMT
I can't envision a scenario where I would willingly walk away from my kids. Let alone move across the country from them.
|
|
|
Post by myboysnme on Jun 14, 2016 0:30:21 GMT
I don't want to move away from my adult kids so move away from my minor kids? No, I could not do it. In fact I got out of the military because I was unwilling to leave my children.
|
|
|
Post by Tamhugh on Jun 14, 2016 0:34:17 GMT
You said she is moving for her new husband. Why does he have to move? Because if he has to go, and she stays, then the new baby will only have one parent with him/her, instead of the older kids.
|
|
|
Post by bc2ca on Jun 14, 2016 0:46:33 GMT
I could never leave my kids. I think it is pretty much one of the most selfish things you can do, whether it is a man or woman walking away from minor children.
|
|
eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
|
Post by eleezybeth on Jun 14, 2016 0:49:21 GMT
We have a joke in our house. If you cheat on me, you take the kids. In reality - like hell you will. We'd have to move because I couldn't afford to live here single. But he is military so we are used to long periods of time without him.
|
|
|
Post by beanbuddymom on Jun 14, 2016 0:49:27 GMT
No, yet I have seen it many times and I just don't get it. I told DH jokingly if we ever divorced I hoped he planned on moving him and his new wife into a duplex with me on the other side so that I wouldn't be away from the kids.
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Jun 14, 2016 0:52:37 GMT
Never. Not at those ages.
|
|
gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,214
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
|
Post by gina on Jun 14, 2016 1:05:15 GMT
Absolutely not!
|
|
|
Post by pierkiss on Jun 14, 2016 1:07:22 GMT
No I could not see leaving my children for that situation that you described.
If it were for work that I HAD TO ABSOLUTELY HAVE and had no husband, then I would maybe consider leaving them with my parents. Maybe. For the very short term. BUT I WOULD ABSOLUTELY HATE IT.
I hate hearing stories about women who leave their "older" children to go marry some random guy and have new children. I hate hearing stories about men who do this too. It's crap and it damages and hurts the children.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 4, 2024 19:33:13 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 1:10:43 GMT
How selfish can one parent be? She wins.
|
|
|
Post by refugeepea on Jun 14, 2016 1:32:52 GMT
tamhugh I'll go back and check my post to be sure I stated it right. She is moving to where her new husband lives. I don't know the whole story of how they met, but it was online. She was divorced, married, and pregnant within a year. She'll raise the baby in the state of her 2nd husband. The ex husband will not allow their 12 year old to leave. He wants to be with mom and 16 and 19 (not a minor) year old children don't want to move. The 19 year old (I know, not a minor) is not the bio child of 1st husband but has raised her like his own since she was 4.
|
|
mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
|
Post by mallie on Jun 14, 2016 1:33:05 GMT
not a choice I could make. However - I know people who have made that choice (for a variety of reasons). My sister's partner drives 5 hours (each way) to collect his kids for visitation weekends and weeks now that they've moved out of state away from the kids/custodial parent. A friend I knew in college - her partner was raising his (non-bio) daughter as a sole parent...his wife just up and left one day leaving the baby home alone in the crib. And I know (and I'm sure all of us do) many women raising children whose father has moved away. For some reason, we (society) don't question a father moving away from his children the way we do a mother. I was just thinking that I know quite a few men who did just that -- found a new woman and moved away. Most of them never saw/spoke to their kids again. New woman = kids are out.
|
|
|
Post by refugeepea on Jun 14, 2016 1:34:27 GMT
I wanted to add, it's something that bothers me as well when I see men do the same thing.
|
|
|
Post by fuji on Jun 14, 2016 2:26:34 GMT
Both of my parents always put their new boyfriend/girlfriend ahead of their kids. Always. Had they met someone who didn't live in the area, I have no doubt each of them would have left.
Because of them, I'm a little crazy about putting my kids first. There isn't a chance in hell I would leave them. And now that I'm a parent, I absolutely do not understand that mentality. I have no respect for people, male or female, who put themselves before their kids. It infuriates me actually.
|
|
kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,516
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
|
Post by kate on Jun 14, 2016 2:27:06 GMT
I have a friend whose husband ditched her and his kids to run off and marry his mistress. He moved a couple of hours away, but only saw the kids about every other YEAR. What a schmuck. And now he has kids with the new wife.
I could not leave my kids - not even with my DH to whom I am very much still married - to make a permanent home far away. I suppose there might be an extreme case I haven't considered, but in general, no effin' way would I leave them.
|
|
|
Post by scrapmaven on Jun 14, 2016 3:13:51 GMT
There is no way anyone or anything could separate me from my kids. Being a mom is the most important job I've ever had and the day I conceived I signed on for life. If I had adult children on their own w/careers that would be a different story, but at 17 and 12 she'll traumatize them by leaving. Abandoning your kids for Mr. wonderful is stupid and wrong, imho. Keep loving those kids and giving them hugs. They are about to lose their mom due to her hormones.
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 14, 2016 3:17:21 GMT
I wouldn't leave my kids.
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 14, 2016 3:22:20 GMT
Never. I could never leave her behind. My child is my Mini Me and she would be totally devastated, and I couldn't do that to her.
|
|
|
Post by worrywart on Jun 14, 2016 3:24:39 GMT
I could not do that, no. It would be like tearing my heart in two.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Jun 14, 2016 3:34:08 GMT
I had a kid 28 years ago in class. His mom moved away and he started really misbehaving. He was the worst kid I had that year. He was the kind of kid that you wanted summer vacation to start early. I remember talking to him after school dismissed on the last day. He just hung around and finally asked why would his mom leave him. I remember crying with him. I went to the principal and told him that I needed this kid in my class the next year since I was moving up grade levels. Loved him the next year. That one incident made me more determined than ever to work things out with my husband after we would fight. Thankfully they were stupid fights. I could not move. I have seen what it can do.
|
|
PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,739
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
|
Post by PLurker on Jun 14, 2016 4:41:42 GMT
I had a kid 28 years ago in class. His mom moved away and he started really misbehaving. He was the worst kid I had that year. He was the kind of kid that you wanted summer vacation to start early. I remember talking to him after school dismissed on the last day. H e just hung around and finally asked why would his mom leave him. I remember crying with him. I went to the principal and told him that I needed this kid in my class the next year since I was moving up grade levels. Loved him the next year. That one incident made me more determined than ever to work things out with my husband after we would fight. Thankfully they were stupid fights. I could not move. I have seen what it can do. Ahhh... that poor kid. And how wonderful that he found you. I hope he is doing well. And to answer the question, my heart aches just thinking of leaving my kids. When they were younger as well as now @16 and "pretend adult" (as my DD18 calls herself) I would be crushed. I don't understand how a mom or dad could (barring certain circumstances).
|
|
|
Post by AussieMeg on Jun 14, 2016 5:24:15 GMT
No I could not move interstate without my kids. And I guess I do think more harshly of moms who do it because I have such a strong visceral response to just the idea of moving more than a quick car ride away from my children. I agree, and for some reason I would be more judgey if the mother did it. I know a guy whose wife left him and their 3 daughters to move interstate with her new man. At first the kids would travel up there to see her every school break, but over time they went less and less, and by the time the girls were in their teens they hadn't seen her for many years. I remember telling my DSO about it and expressing my shock that a MOTHER could just leave her kids like that. DSO pointed out that in his mind it would be just as shocking if a father did it.
|
|
|
Post by anniefb on Jun 14, 2016 5:39:30 GMT
No, definitely not.
|
|
luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
|
Post by luvnlifelady on Jun 14, 2016 5:42:56 GMT
I had a friend do something similar. She divorced and moved across country to be with her high school flame. She took her 3 youngest boys with her and left the oldest with her ex. As expected, it didn't work out and she came back but she did not reconcile with the ex and the oldest continued to live with him. My friend sees the oldest some but could you imagine? Your mom is basically choosing a guy over you?? (Oldest was probably about 15 at the time so the other boys were 12, 9, and 6). Obviously it also affected the sibling relationship.
|
|
smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,305
Location: MN
Mar 18, 2016 14:06:38 GMT
|
Post by smcast on Jun 14, 2016 5:49:41 GMT
No way! I am remarried but my husband has a home 100 miles away so we don't see each other much. Plus he travels for work. My Xdh and I have a joint custody which states we have to live in same school district for our daughter. Once she graduates, I will sell my home and move to be with my husband full time
|
|