Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jun 17, 2016 1:20:04 GMT
If it were my child, I would want some one to tell me.. but I want to respect the young teens involved and my daughters trust.
So I am telling you all and you can tell me to MYOB.
My daughter is 13. Rising 8th grader, she has three good friends that she does theatre with. 2 boys and one girl. Earlier in the spring the other girl came out to the group and told them she was a lesbian. They were all supportive, she decided to tell her parents and she literally cut her hair short and got a t-shirt declaring she was gay. (great all around - she was happy they were all happy)
Then a few weeks later one of the boy confides that he thinks he is bi-sexual. He decides he is not going to tell his parents because he doesn't really know what that means for him. Then other boys comes out and says he is gay. I'm calling him T (Not surprising at all) But he is really nervous about telling his parents.
My daughter is besties with T. The two of them have had numerous conversations about how he should come out to his parents. He asked my daughter to write I am gay on the bottom of his shoe. He showed his Mom she laughed it off.
I know both of the boys parents fairly well. I know without a shadow of a doubt if it was my daughter who was gay they would 100% accept her. But her best friends Dad teaches at a Catholic school. I don't know how he would react. I just don't know him that well. I suggested to my daughter, and she suggested it to T that he talk to his sister who is a Freshman in college, I personally think she would be a great ally and help him talk to his parents. He doesn't want to. (He knows I "know")
So my gut said just let this play out don't get involved other than giving my daughter advice which was I think they need to talk to their parents.
Then two things happened the boy who is bi lets call him B. We were all at a tony party on Sunday. B's Mom who was not driving, had a bit too much wine. They have been under a lot of stress, MIL is dying, work is crazy, school is out etc. I have never seen her tipsy. So she probably confided in me more than she might normally have. She told me she is really worried about B and that he is withdrawn and does not seem to have many friends at school, younger sister is busy social butterfly, B is at home a lot by himself.
The other boy let's call him T. His Mom keeps asking what T and my daughter are always talking about. I knew, but just laughed and said, "Oh probably Hamilton" Apparently T has come out to his 9 year old sister, and family friends. Maybe his parents are just waiting for him to tell them??
Now things are getting dicey. Both T and B confide to my daughter that they "Like" each other. They both want to ask each other out! So eventually they do. T does not have any social media, no phone or anyway to communicate with B other than through their Moms. (They were all in a show over the weekend so they were all together for about 40 hours last week)
So they had their first "date" last night. Now their parents don't know it was a "date" and planned a sleepover at T's house. They have younger sisters who are friends so they slept over too, B's grandmother is dying, B's Mom is traveling for work, B's dad needs to go out of town to be with his Mom. So now it is a two night sleepover.
And they kissed apparently at 3 am. According to B.
So if all this was going on with my daughter I would want to know. I think she would tell me. She is a little overwhelmed by it all and being the confidant of both boys, which is why she is telling me.
So if you were either of the Mom's would you want me to say something to you? Would you say anything if you were me?
My daughter has been adamant that I not say anything to T's Mom. But not so much B. She knows I am closer to B's Mom.
Does this all sound like a lot of middle school drama, believe me it is. Internally I really don't want to know, but I want my daughter to be able to confide in me. MY advice has been, stay out of it. If they ask you tell them to talk to their parents. Of course she is a middle school theatre kid and she loves that they might be in love. Oye.
So I am telling you all and you can tell me to MYOB.
My daughter is 13. Rising 8th grader, she has three good friends that she does theatre with. 2 boys and one girl. Earlier in the spring the other girl came out to the group and told them she was a lesbian. They were all supportive, she decided to tell her parents and she literally cut her hair short and got a t-shirt declaring she was gay. (great all around - she was happy they were all happy)
Then a few weeks later one of the boy confides that he thinks he is bi-sexual. He decides he is not going to tell his parents because he doesn't really know what that means for him. Then other boys comes out and says he is gay. I'm calling him T (Not surprising at all) But he is really nervous about telling his parents.
My daughter is besties with T. The two of them have had numerous conversations about how he should come out to his parents. He asked my daughter to write I am gay on the bottom of his shoe. He showed his Mom she laughed it off.
I know both of the boys parents fairly well. I know without a shadow of a doubt if it was my daughter who was gay they would 100% accept her. But her best friends Dad teaches at a Catholic school. I don't know how he would react. I just don't know him that well. I suggested to my daughter, and she suggested it to T that he talk to his sister who is a Freshman in college, I personally think she would be a great ally and help him talk to his parents. He doesn't want to. (He knows I "know")
So my gut said just let this play out don't get involved other than giving my daughter advice which was I think they need to talk to their parents.
Then two things happened the boy who is bi lets call him B. We were all at a tony party on Sunday. B's Mom who was not driving, had a bit too much wine. They have been under a lot of stress, MIL is dying, work is crazy, school is out etc. I have never seen her tipsy. So she probably confided in me more than she might normally have. She told me she is really worried about B and that he is withdrawn and does not seem to have many friends at school, younger sister is busy social butterfly, B is at home a lot by himself.
The other boy let's call him T. His Mom keeps asking what T and my daughter are always talking about. I knew, but just laughed and said, "Oh probably Hamilton" Apparently T has come out to his 9 year old sister, and family friends. Maybe his parents are just waiting for him to tell them??
Now things are getting dicey. Both T and B confide to my daughter that they "Like" each other. They both want to ask each other out! So eventually they do. T does not have any social media, no phone or anyway to communicate with B other than through their Moms. (They were all in a show over the weekend so they were all together for about 40 hours last week)
So they had their first "date" last night. Now their parents don't know it was a "date" and planned a sleepover at T's house. They have younger sisters who are friends so they slept over too, B's grandmother is dying, B's Mom is traveling for work, B's dad needs to go out of town to be with his Mom. So now it is a two night sleepover.
And they kissed apparently at 3 am. According to B.
So if all this was going on with my daughter I would want to know. I think she would tell me. She is a little overwhelmed by it all and being the confidant of both boys, which is why she is telling me.
So if you were either of the Mom's would you want me to say something to you? Would you say anything if you were me?
My daughter has been adamant that I not say anything to T's Mom. But not so much B. She knows I am closer to B's Mom.
Does this all sound like a lot of middle school drama, believe me it is. Internally I really don't want to know, but I want my daughter to be able to confide in me. MY advice has been, stay out of it. If they ask you tell them to talk to their parents. Of course she is a middle school theatre kid and she loves that they might be in love. Oye.
