tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Aug 6, 2016 0:11:48 GMT
Did people actually *read* the OP. Her issue wasn't with them being accompanied... *she* accompanied *her* child, as well. Would you fill out your 40 year olds paperwork, check him in, give him instructions? She also pays her adult child's medical bills. That's acceptable, but filling out paperwork is not? I didn't give an opinion either way, outside of my own personal experience. My comment was to all the posters insisting she had an issue with the parents accompanying them and that wasn't what she said at all.
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Post by secondlife on Aug 6, 2016 0:13:16 GMT
I was 20 when I had my wisdom teeth removed and am not ashamed for one second to tell you I needed my mommy.
I was scared out of my mind and she helped me with the paperwork, the payment, everything.
I'm doing fine as an adult. I've handled a ton of medical paperwork since then and some under very stressful circumstances. But she helped me that time and I'm grateful.
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grammanisi
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,740
Jun 26, 2014 1:37:37 GMT
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Post by grammanisi on Aug 6, 2016 0:14:28 GMT
I will admit that my mom went with me to have m wisdom teeth out. She held my shaking hands in waiting room, too. I was scared to death. I will also admit that I was in my 30s, married and had a child.
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Post by maryland on Aug 6, 2016 0:16:51 GMT
I also go with my kids so I can drive/pay. But they do all the work filling out the forms, etc. I am in PA and the kids have to get physicals/dental exams for certain grades (state law). They also have to have physicals for sports at school. But I have stopped going back into the exam room with them when they were 12 or 13. The kids did not want me back there with them! But my daughters don't have any health issues so they didn't need any input from me. At least in our pediatrician's office, they like the kids to speak for themselves if they are able. I have noticed that most teens in our pediatrician office see the doctors by him/herself, but they often have a parent drive them. I just read the responses and realized that you were talking about dental office. And I went on about the physical. I guess I really need to pay better attention! We are fortunate that my 18 yr. old daughter is like me an doesn't have wisdom teeth! My husband got his wisdom teeth pulled when he was 20 and his grandparents were staying with him at the time because his parents were out of the country. He still gives them a hard time about not being with him!
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Post by Rainy_Day_Woman on Aug 6, 2016 0:17:45 GMT
I gotta be honest. Some of the threads here about navigating US insurance companies and healthcare, I feel like *I* need an adult to go with me to appointments. So confusing and mistakes are expensive!
My aunt is terrible for this helicoptering. My cousin is 20 and became pregnant last year. My aunt went to every appointment, fills out all the forms and does all the talking in the appointment. Finally even the OB lost his shit on her and told her that if my cousin was old enough to have a baby, she was old enough to speak for herself. Instead of you know, listening to that, they found a new doctor.(eyeroll)
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Aug 6, 2016 0:21:02 GMT
Did people actually *read* the OP. Her issue wasn't with them being accompanied... *she* accompanied *her* child, as well. Would you fill out your 40 year olds paperwork, check him in, give him instructions? She also pays her adult child's medical bills. That's acceptable, but filling out paperwork is not? I know this is something many parents do (paying bills for their child), I just find it odd that filling out medical forms crosses the line of not being "responsible". I know I already responded to this but I will add, I think it is very generous they are helping with medical bills while in school. Wisdom teeth extractions are not cheap by any means, and I know few 20 year olds who could easily afford the cost. Even 30 years ago I had mine extracted and had to pay payments. Working in the dental field I assure you that isn't an option anymore. However filling out paperwork is a fairly easy process and a good way to ease a child into adulthood at no cost to them. And yes, I get and understand some kids have disabilities that exclude them from doing that.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Aug 6, 2016 0:23:08 GMT
I gotta be honest. Some of the threads here about navigating US insurance companies and healthcare, I feel like *I* need an adult to go with me to appointments. So confusing and mistakes are expensive! This has never been my experience. DS 17 just went earlier this week and got his own physical with no issues.
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Post by refugeepea on Aug 6, 2016 0:25:42 GMT
I know I already responded to this but I will add, I think it is very generous they are helping with medical bills while in school. Wisdom teeth extractions are not cheap by any means, and I know few 20 years who could easily afford the cost. Even 30 years ado I had mine extracted and had to pay payments. Working in the dental fix I assure you that isn't an option anymore. However filling out paperwork is a fairly easy process and a good way to ease a child into adulthood at no cost to them. And yes, I get and understand some kids have disabilities that exclude them from doing that. I get it, but when you look at the situation, the adult child paying for the medical bills is a bigger responsibility. So the adult child filling or not filling out the paperwork wouldn't bother me at all. I shouldn't let the original post bug me, but it does. It's honestly something I would not notice or if I did, I would figure they do things differently than me. I guess I'm not very observant. I'd just be happy I was only dealing with 1 kid.
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Post by refugeepea on Aug 6, 2016 0:28:23 GMT
This has never been my experience. DS 17 just went earlier this week and got his own physical with no issues. My doctor will not see a patient who is under the age of 18 by themselves. I have an almost 17 year old who can fill out the paperwork but I have to be in the room for the physical.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Aug 6, 2016 0:33:58 GMT
This has never been my experience. DS 17 just went earlier this week and got his own physical with no issues. My doctor will not see a patient who is under the age of 18 by themselves. I have an almost 17 year old who can fill out the paperwork but I have to be in the room for the physical. My kids have been going back without me since they were 13-14ish. In fact we quit going back around that time because the dr started asking us to step out for the physical portion. (An assistant was always present). DS 17 went to a walk in clinic for this particular physical and I called ahead and asked if I needed to be on the premises and was told no. That kind of suprised me because since he was a new pt I assumed I needed to sign the original in take paperwork since he was a minor but apparently not. He's been taking himself to all his reg dr visits since he was 16.
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Post by anonrefugee on Aug 6, 2016 0:36:19 GMT
I gotta be honest. Some of the threads here about navigating US insurance companies and healthcare, I feel like *I* need an adult to go with me to appointments. So confusing and mistakes are expensive! This has never been my experience. DS 17 just went earlier this week and got his own physical with no issues. Ours is fairly straightforward for things like labs and physicals. It can get a little trickier with trips to the specialist, like orthopedist /sports docs I mentioned before. For example : If you need to have a walking cast that day they like to charge upfront, and reimburse later based on insurance payment. We've been through this enough (sadly) to know our insurance will pay, and will pressure them to look at our history. DS wouldn't know that and would hand them the $150 cash. It's not a huge amount, but it could get out of hand if he wasn't getting guidance, and they were asking for MRI fees Etc. Because we can choose our physicians some of our specialists don't accept insurance and we have to file ourselves, that's our personal decision, but it does add another layer to the issue.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Aug 6, 2016 0:38:24 GMT
I know I already responded to this but I will add, I think it is very generous they are helping with medical bills while in school. Wisdom teeth extractions are not cheap by any means, and I know few 20 years who could easily afford the cost. Even 30 years ado I had mine extracted and had to pay payments. Working in the dental fix I assure you that isn't an option anymore. However filling out paperwork is a fairly easy process and a good way to ease a child into adulthood at no cost to them. And yes, I get and understand some kids have disabilities that exclude them from doing that. I get it, but when you look at the situation, the adult child paying for the medical bills is a bigger responsibility. So the adult child filling or not filling out the paperwork wouldn't bother me at all. I shouldn't let the original post bug me, but it does. It's honestly something I would not notice or if I did, I would figure they do things differently than me. I guess I'm not very observant. I'd just be happy I was only dealing with 1 kid. It doesn't bug me but working in an dental office, I do see the difference between kids whose parents have them take more initiative earlier rather than later and the ones whose parents don't, so I can see the ops point. (And my virtue of my job I notice these things because I'm the one dealing with them). If I didn't work there i don't know it would be on my radar either.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Aug 6, 2016 0:39:55 GMT
This has never been my experience. DS 17 just went earlier this week and got his own physical with no issues. Ours is fairly straightforward for things like labs and physicals. It can get a little trickier with trips to the specialist, like orthopedist /sports docs I mentioned before. For example : If you need to have a walking cast that day they like to charge upfront, and reimburse later based on insurance payment. We've been through this enough (sadly) to know our insurance will pay, and will pressure them to look at our history. DS wouldn't know that and would hand them the $150 cash. It's not a huge amount, but it could get out of hand if he wasn't getting guidance, and they were asking for MRI fees Etc. Because we can choose our physicians some of our specialists don't accept insurance and we have to file ourselves, that's our personal decision, but it does add another layer to the issue. I can see where it would be a different scenario with specialists.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,726
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Aug 6, 2016 0:53:02 GMT
DS who just turned 21 does make his own Dr appointments, manages to fill out forms and presents insurance info as required. He has been living on his own for 18 months and takes care of himself and his bills efficiently. He is quite capable and has always been independent and self-reliant.
However......I did accompany him to an ENT appointment last week to discuss removing his tonsils, and went in with him to hear what the Dr had to say about it. If and when he has them out (not necessary for the time being), I and DH will be going with him.
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Post by myshelly on Aug 6, 2016 1:17:35 GMT
This has never been my experience. DS 17 just went earlier this week and got his own physical with no issues. My doctor will not see a patient who is under the age of 18 by themselves. I have an almost 17 year old who can fill out the paperwork but I have to be in the room for the physical. That is insane to me! When I got my own car at 16 I started making my own appointments, driving myself to the dr, filling my own rxes at the pharmacy, etc. It never even occurred to me to discuss it with my parents, much less have them accompany me.
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Post by refugeepea on Aug 6, 2016 1:54:28 GMT
That is insane to me! When I got my own car at 16 I started making my own appointments, driving myself to the dr, filling my own rxes at the pharmacy, etc. It never even occurred to me to discuss it with my parents, much less have them accompany me. Being sued is a bigger deal these days. I understand why he has the policy.
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Post by Rainy_Day_Woman on Aug 6, 2016 2:56:20 GMT
This has never been my experience. DS 17 just went earlier this week and got his own physical with no issues. Ours is fairly straightforward for things like labs and physicals. It can get a little trickier with trips to the specialist, like orthopedist /sports docs I mentioned before. For example : If you need to have a walking cast that day they like to charge upfront, and reimburse later based on insurance payment. We've been through this enough (sadly) to know our insurance will pay, and will pressure them to look at our history. DS wouldn't know that and would hand them the $150 cash. It's not a huge amount, but it could get out of hand if he wasn't getting guidance, and they were asking for MRI fees Etc. Because we can choose our physicians some of our specialists don't accept insurance and we have to file ourselves, that's our personal decision, but it does add another layer to the issue. Our healthcare is just (fairly) straighforward for the most part. I read threads where people are talking about finding doctors in-network, co-pays, insurance companies changing prescriptions because this is covered but this isn't, etc, not to mention coding and billing, and surprise $40 000 helicopter rides! I'm sure you all learn to navigate it, but I can see how younger people may need more guidance.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 29, 2024 11:44:54 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2016 3:06:10 GMT
Sometimes, it doesn't matter how old your kids are, Mom still wants to make sure all is OK. DH has his wisdom teeth pulled at 32. His mom asked him if he wanted her to be there! She is not a helicopter mom at all but when it comes to medical stuff, she still wants to be there (she's a nurse). I was the one that drove him home and filled out paperwork that he couldn't remember, and took care of him. His mom still texted, checking on him.
Just because your kids are adults doesn't mean you stop being mom. And dh admitted that sometimes it was easier to let mom do the paperwork, even as senior in college. Neater handwriting at least!
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 6, 2016 3:51:33 GMT
I guess I don't really care what other people are doing very much, but when I see things that parents are still doing for their kiddos (for whatever reason) I always think to myself that I am glad I no longer have to do that. My SIL still packs for her 18 year old grandson to go on vacation. In my head I just think I am glad I taught mine to do that at eight. She did their laundry, most school events, and whatever else comes their way. She really just wants to be needed. I do not have that need.
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Post by anonrefugee on Aug 6, 2016 10:06:25 GMT
Ours is fairly straightforward for things like labs and physicals. It can get a little trickier with trips to the specialist, like orthopedist /sports docs I mentioned before. For example : If you need to have a walking cast that day they like to charge upfront, and reimburse later based on insurance payment. We've been through this enough (sadly) to know our insurance will pay, and will pressure them to look at our history. DS wouldn't know that and would hand them the $150 cash. It's not a huge amount, but it could get out of hand if he wasn't getting guidance, and they were asking for MRI fees Etc. Because we can choose our physicians some of our specialists don't accept insurance and we have to file ourselves, that's our personal decision, but it does add another layer to the issue. Our healthcare is just (fairly) straighforward for the most part. I read threads where people are talking about finding doctors in-network, co-pays, insurance companies changing prescriptions because this is covered but this isn't, etc, not to mention coding and billing, and surprise $40 000 helicopter rides! I'm sure you all learn to navigate it, but I can see how younger people may need more guidance. There is a learning curve, and it varies from person to person, making it tougher to learn. And maybe it's my age group, but in the private sector friends didn't share experiences or advice until recently because it was a personal matter, tied to income and benefits. If you worked for small private firms without big HR divisions you were on your own to decipher it. We are fortunate and have a decent plan. Most is simple. Now some of our favorite doctors are deciding they don't want to deal with the constraints insurance companies are placing on practices - they're opting out! We have to decide to stay with a doctor we like, file ourselves, or find a new doctor and make paperwork easier. It's crazy, but I think I'd make same choice if I was a physician. Sorry for tangent. But all of that can explain help explain why some 16- 18 year olds can be sent alone with a $20 copay, and the kid next to him needs his parent to decide if they write the check now for $____ or talk to the business manager. If you've only dealt with copay it's easier to cinch up the judgey pants.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,151
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Aug 6, 2016 11:14:37 GMT
I think what the op's point was that it's nice when our "kids" have the opportunity to do the things like their own paperwork instead of the parent taking over. I agree it's not a one size fits all. At the same time I know I can overstep on occasion, but I also know my kids are capable of doing most things and if not they ask.
Just yesterday my dd was out and needed gas (newer driver.) Call #1, can I use a debit card at the pump? Call #2, should I shut the engine off while getting the gas? Mind you I've had her pump gas for me while we've been out together so she'd know how. It was humorous, but she got it done. Simple thing to learn, but she learned more i'm sure doing it herself than half paying attention with my "lesson" at the pump.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 29, 2024 11:44:54 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2016 12:58:12 GMT
If my filling out medical paperwork for my adult children, husband, or even older in-laws alleviates any stress in them before going through a procedure, test, or appointment, I am more than happy to do it. This family is a team, if one of us is anxious, others step in and help.
Most people have things they are anxious about and for some that is dental procedures. My DD20 is not nervous about dental stuff at all, in fact she loves the dentist!! The three hour MRI tests she goes through regularly......well, that is a different story. I am happy to fill out all her medical paperwork on those days.... those stress filled days when going through the test and waiting to hear the results are both horrific.
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 6, 2016 13:06:21 GMT
( iowgirl I also want to ((jokingly)) thank you for the fact that I have spent all morning and part of last evening singing 'mommas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys...' ad nauseam. Even the cats are running away from me. )
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Post by happymom on Aug 6, 2016 13:16:46 GMT
I would be that parent. Problems are divided into his problem, (lost wallet) my problem (his dirty dishes) and our problem. Wisdom teeth and dentist are something he would never follow through on. It's important to me! So the job falls to me. They were both 18 and it was the end of senior year.
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Post by Miss Ang on Aug 6, 2016 14:06:15 GMT
I don't understand how you think this is helicoptering. My "kids" are 40, 36 and 32. If any one of them wanted me to go to a doctor appointment with them, I would and I have. I've went to grandkids appointments with them. Sometimes it helps to have another adult there. Exactly. My mom is 66 years old and I go with her to appointments. She has an extensive amount of medical problems and though she is completely capable from a mental stand point, it is easy to get overwhelmed with information and she wants to make sure she gets everything down that she needs to know (med changes, treatments, future tests, etc.). It's just nice to have the support when you need it. I recently had some tests done and a bit of a scare in between two tests and when I was referred to a specialist, my husband went with me. I had no idea if I was going to get a cancer diagnosis or if I would be told everything is fine. But I wanted the support. (Just a note: after several tests, everything IS fine and I'm just on some new medication). Anyway, a support system is something I'm very proud to have and to be for my family, including my children. My kids are 21 and 17. They are both quite capable of handling things and some things they do on their own. But if one of them were going to a surgeon and going to be sedated, you can bet your bottom dollar that I'd be with them while they were getting information about treatment and aftercare. After all, I would be the one providing that after care. It only makes sense to get that information from the provider not my sedated child.
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Post by craftsbycarolyn on Aug 6, 2016 14:07:35 GMT
Meh, my baby is over 40, a great dad, husband, friend, manager, etc. Still, I would gladly accompany him or any of his family anywhere/anyway they wished, your opinion notwithstanding. Did people actually *read* the OP. Her issue wasn't with them being accompanied... *she* accompanied *her* child, as well. Would you fill out your 40 year olds paperwork, check him in, give him instructions? Yep. I would, if I was asked to. Save
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Post by gar on Aug 6, 2016 14:14:36 GMT
I don't understand how you think this is helicoptering. My "kids" are 40, 36 and 32. If any one of them wanted me to go to a doctor appointment with them, I would and I have. I've went to grandkids appointments with them. Sometimes it helps to have another adult there. Exactly. My mom is 66 years old and I go with her to appointments. She has an extensive amount of medical problems and though she is completely capable from a mental stand point, it is easy to get overwhelmed with information and she wants to make sure she gets everything down that she needs to know (med changes, treatments, future tests, etc.). It's just nice to have the support when you need it. I recently had some tests done and a bit of a scare in between two tests and when I was referred to a specialist, my husband went with me. I had no idea if I was going to get a cancer diagnosis or if I would be told everything is fine. But I wanted the support. (Just a note: after several tests, everything IS fine and I'm just on some new medication). Anyway, a support system is something I'm very proud to have and to be for my family, including my children. My kids are 21 and 17. They are both quite capable of handling things and some things they do on their own. But if one of them were going to a surgeon and going to be sedated, you can bet your bottom dollar that I'd be with them while they were getting information about treatment and aftercare. After all, I would be the one providing that after care. It only makes sense to get that information from the provider not my sedated child. I really don't think being a support and/or accompanying a family member was ever questioned. The point was that an adult child didn't fill out their own paperwork and the mum chose which magazine they would read while they waited. Different issues.
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Post by Miss Ang on Aug 6, 2016 14:18:23 GMT
Exactly. My mom is 66 years old and I go with her to appointments. She has an extensive amount of medical problems and though she is completely capable from a mental stand point, it is easy to get overwhelmed with information and she wants to make sure she gets everything down that she needs to know (med changes, treatments, future tests, etc.). It's just nice to have the support when you need it. I recently had some tests done and a bit of a scare in between two tests and when I was referred to a specialist, my husband went with me. I had no idea if I was going to get a cancer diagnosis or if I would be told everything is fine. But I wanted the support. (Just a note: after several tests, everything IS fine and I'm just on some new medication). Anyway, a support system is something I'm very proud to have and to be for my family, including my children. My kids are 21 and 17. They are both quite capable of handling things and some things they do on their own. But if one of them were going to a surgeon and going to be sedated, you can bet your bottom dollar that I'd be with them while they were getting information about treatment and aftercare. After all, I would be the one providing that after care. It only makes sense to get that information from the provider not my sedated child. I really don't think being a support and/or accompanying a family member was ever questioned. The point was that an adult child didn't fill out their own paperwork and the mum chose which magazine they would read while they waited. Different issues. You're right. And after re-reading the OP with that thought it mind, perhaps I misinterpreted her POV. And for the record, my 17 yr. old filled out his own paperwork at his last visit. He did ask me a few questions, but filled it out himself. When the receptionist gave me the clipboard my DS took and said he could do it. My 21 yr. old went to have an annual check up and it was time for her first vaginal exam/pap smear. She was terrified! haha She wanted me to make the appointment. I refused; she knows her schedule. And when she left for her appointment I know that she was scared to bits. But she went and then stopped by my office afterwards and informed me that she had survived. (Whew. What a relief. )
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 6, 2016 15:57:30 GMT
My kids do fill out their own paperwork, but man, ask them to address an envelope and they look at you like a deer in headlights. When my son graduated he had to fill out envelopes for thank you notes and you would have thought a seven year old could have done a better job. They always had to write them for Christmas and birthdays, but oftentimes they emailed people or we wrote multiple thank yous to the same person and I filled out the envelope for my thank you and tossed theirs in there.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,363
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Aug 6, 2016 16:10:56 GMT
( iowgirl I also want to ((jokingly)) thank you for the fact that I have spent all morning and part of last evening singing 'mommas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys...' ad nauseam. Even the cats are running away from me. ) I did that, too!! Lol.
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