Momma's, let those babies grow up.... a little vent...

I am in total agreement with you! Our job as a parent is to prepare our children for the adult world. They must be able to navigate an airport, make appointments, fill out paperwork, get their oil changed, etc.

This is why I have residents to that come into my office and don't know how to do the simplest of things. I always wonder how they will manage to survive life.

Much smaller scale, but the wings are spreading in our house this summer. ODS turned 16 in February. He has his first car, found his first job, and has started making his own appointments for haircuts, and for follow ups with the ortho and dermatologist. He knows his work and marching band schedules better than we do and has them on his phone's calendar. He can see our family calendar and set them up. We go when he has an appointment, but most of the time, we are in the waiting room until the very end. He even called and handled an emergency visit with the ortho when a bracket popped off early this summer. He's really grown this summer.

I agree - kids should be taught how to transition into adulthood both by parents and schools.

Your example is not new - I worked in a bank and had a stint on Student Banking almost 20 years ago. Some snivelling, snot nosed brat walked in for a student account and his Mummy took exception to me asking him for his ID and paperwork...because, hey, why would you need that to PROVE you are eligible for something? Not only did she berate me in front of everyone else in the bank, she demanded to see my manager - who told her we needed the ID and paperwork. 

So, to be honest, if Mom just fills out paperwork and babysits her little adult brats, it wouldn't worry me at all. I'd just sit there and roll my eyes at how hard she is making her life and thank my lucky stars I had reared intelligent, independent kids.

Well, I can assure you that my DH and I have let our 20 year old grow up (he just moved into his 1st apartment earlier this week) but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to accompany him to any medical appointments he may want me to come along....like this morning's appointment at the eye surgeon who he has been seeing the last couple of week about a bad eye infection and that they most likely will dilate his eyes so driving home might be difficult.

I find that sometimes not all is what it may appear to be.

My youngest DD22 is like that. Laziness I think .

Well, I'm that mom who took her dd to the oral surgeon when it was time to have her wisdom teeth out. Heck, I made the appointment, too, since I was accompanying her and my schedule was less flexible than hers at the time. It needed to happen at my convenience. I honestly don't remember any paperwork (it was a few years ago-- and I'd gone with her to the initial consult/intake appointment). I needed to learn about the aftercare, get her to the car, and take her home. I even went back to the room with her when they called her. A different surgeon was doing the procedure because of a scheduling issue, and we hadn't met him yet. I wanted to meet the person who would be putting my daughter under anesthesia. 

My dd was quite nervous about the procedure and it would not have occurred to me to not go with her for this one. It was a bigger deal than any medical appointment she'd ever had previously. She does go to appointments completely on her own at this point (two years later). Like anything else, it's a process, and she's gradually assumed responsibility for most adult tasks with some guidance as needed. I want her to be responsible for herself, but I'm there if she needs me or wants the benefit of my experience.

Though I did not choose a magazine for her in the waiting room, I did help with aftercare and fussed over her a fair amount afterward. 
 

Maybe I read what the OP said incorrectly, but I thought she was saying she went with her own kid.  It was the other mother who was babying (her opinion) her children.  

The parents being there isn't the "helicopter" part, after all SHE was there with her kid. It's the moms taking the lead once there. Checking kids in, answering questions and filling out the paperwork is what she finds helicoptering.

Before leaving for college at 17 my dad took me to get some shots I needed at my childhood pediatrician. I asked him to go back with me. At one point I discussed my reoccuring bladder infections. The pediatrician said to me, "So does it hurt when you wee-wee". And at that *moment I realized I would never be viewed as the adult I was becoming as long as I had daddy in tow. 

I left college after semester and even though I moved home I took control of my medical needs from then on out, starting by finding a dr who recognized I wasn't 5. My mom did go to drive me home from getting my wisdom teeth out and my parents stepped in when I was hospitalized for a month with serious injuries after a car accident. After I was married I broke my foot and my dad drove me to my appointments but with those exceptions I scheduled, attended and paid for all appointments myself. (Ok, not Pap smears, I had my first at 16 for irregular bleeding and I passed out mid exam so until very recently I required DH or my Sister in law to hold my hand during the exams. Go ahead laugh).

I enjoyed this because my mom came with when I got mine removed. They didn't become a problem until I was 28 years old and had two kids, so I was much older for someone having their wisdom teeth removed, but I needed a ride so mom was there!

She didn't fill out my papers or pay, though. She took me through the drive-thru for a shake and babysat while I slept off the rest of the anesthesia until DH got home.

I wouldn't worry too much about how other people live their lives, particularly for things that don't impact you. Take off your judgey pants and you do you and let others do them. (Signed, mom whose kid knows how to fill out his own paperwork, but still wants a parent there for major medical procedures)

Why is this little snippet of someone else's life problematic for YOU? Maybe the kid was nervous as hell and his mom was taking one thing off his plate. Maybe they just wanted to get through the paperwork as quickly as possible. You (generic you) have no idea what these kids can and can't do it why their parent might be helping them out at that moment.

Probably because I have been hanging out with teenagers a lot over the last couple of years and I see the difference between the kids that have parents who do every thing for them vs. the ones who don't. I don't always know the specifics of every interaction I see, but I do think that it is easy to see which parents are helping out to help out and which parents are doing it for them because they think for whatever reason the kid can't or won't do it themselves.


 

Did people actually *read* the OP. Her issue wasn't with them being accompanied... *she* accompanied *her* child, as well. Would you fill out your 40 year olds paperwork, check him in, give him instructions?

She also pays her adult child's medical bills. That's acceptable, but filling out paperwork is not? I know this is something many parents do (paying bills for their child), I just find it odd that filling out medical forms crosses the line of not being "responsible".