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Post by melanell on Aug 7, 2016 4:18:33 GMT
I don't understand how you think this is helicoptering. My "kids" are 40, 36 and 32. If any one of them wanted me to go to a doctor appointment with them, I would and I have. I've went to grandkids appointments with them. Sometimes it helps to have another adult there. Many times DH has taken me to a dr. appt. Sometimes he comes back during the exam. He's definitely checked me in sometimes. Now, granted, I fill out my own paperwork most of the time, although there have been a few exceptions. And there have been a few visits when I checked DH in, paid, checked him out, etc. If you're feeling crappy/nervous and someone is willing and able to just let you chill in the waiting room, I'm good with that. My kids are young, now, but if they are adults someday, feeling nervous or crappy, and their day will be made a bit better by me doing some things for them, I don't see why it should be looked down upon simply because I am their parent rather than their spouse. Unless, of course, people feel the need to look down on the spouses helping one another, too. I don't know. Maybe they do. I spent all night at a carnival tonight coaching my kindergartner on how to ask for his own treats, hand over money, hand over tickets, etc., so I'm all for teaching kids to function on their own. But I'm all for adults helping one another as a kindness, too. And nothing in the OP's story tells me that these 20 somethings couldn't do these things, just that they weren't. (Of course, it could be that some of them really couldn't, and that could be for very "legitimate" reasons. But we just don't know. Not that it's our business to know, of course. ) Save
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Post by melanell on Aug 7, 2016 4:23:08 GMT
I will say, that when I was in my very early 20s and still covered under my dad's insurance, I would have had a problem filling out forms as they are today. Because I doubt I would have thought to make sure I brought my dad's SSN with me. In fact, even now, I can't tell you how often I am filling out a form for myself or my kids and I hit the questions about SSN and groan. I only have my own memorized. I've had to call DH from an office for his, and I've had to go home and call the office after a kid was seen to give the office my child's SSN. I'm appreciative that doing so was a possibility. I am quite certain that I will never memorize any of those numbers. I have a hard time with just my own. Memorizing strings of numbers is a task that I have an enormous amount of difficulty with and always have.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 29, 2024 15:48:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2016 5:42:56 GMT
WOW!! This is how my ex was with our two kids. He enabled them and wanted me to hover over them until they were 30! Well, it was a grave disservice to them, and now at 28 and 26 they moved back in with me (and their WONDERFULLY patient/loving step-dad) a couple of years ago. So, this was like doing it all over again, only the right way!!!!!!! Yup, you have to be a little tough and let them learn the way, otherwise they feel insecure, unsure and unable.
As a sidenote: I just began Nannying for a new family. The dad has full custody of his two sons (ages 6 & 8) and a 3 month old baby boy with his new wife. They're a great little family. I'm LOVING the values they instill to the two sons. The dad says things ONCE and the boys know not to ask again. There's no whining, no begging... nothing! The house is as neat as a showroom! The boys' rooms are all clean and immaculate! They get up, make their beds, get dressed and come downstairs without being prodded! Unreal, right??? When they come home from their camp (they begin school next week, I believe), they approach me and say "hi" again. They ask me how my day went. They come up to their baby brother and give him love......... It's AMAZING! I wish I knew this Dad's tricks way back when I first had my kids, but I believe that BOTH parents have to be on the same page.
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Post by miominmio on Aug 7, 2016 8:26:35 GMT
I had a wisdom tooth out when I was 31.....and you bet I had my mom take me there (I'm terrified of the dentist). And when I had a root canal a few years later, she was in the room. DH jokingly said that she was there to prevent me from fleeing. At that time, I had graduated law school, had a job, a home and was married, but there are just some things when you need someone with you. Preferably your mom. In retrospect, I wish I had brought her along when I gave birth to my kids...DH was absolutely useless!
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,534
Jul 24, 2014 19:51:57 GMT
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Post by MerryMom on Aug 8, 2016 0:54:41 GMT
I've always thought of helicopter parenting as a form of child abuse. This! I always say this same thing. Not letting a kid grow up and learn is serious abuse. As a child welfare investigator of 24 years, please do not trivialize what REAL child abuse is. In addition, the OP doesn't know the functioning or health situation of the other young adults who were there for their appointments.
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