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Post by stumpedagainof3 on Aug 22, 2016 7:13:22 GMT
With my 13 year old because she has decided to hurt herself. She has cut her arm at least 50 times.
My heart is breaking and I feel like such a failure as a parent. I just want her to be a happy, carefree kid. When did she get to this point right under my nose?
Sorry for the rant, I guess I just need someine, anyone, to talk to...
Quick update
Called her pediatrician first thing this morning and she is not in today. We got the first appointment for in the morning. Probably not a bad thing. We didn't get home from the hospital until 6. We slept most of the day away.
Thank you all for the kind words and prayers. I have done nothing but cry and hurt. I am sorry that so many of us are dealing with this, but gives me hope that we (she) will make it through.
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 22, 2016 7:16:03 GMT
You must be very scared.
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Deleted
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May 6, 2024 16:00:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2016 7:18:01 GMT
 You are not a failure as a parent. I wish I had answers. Are you and/or her in some type of counseling? That's the only thing I know to recommend, besides letting her know that you love her and that you're there for her. I'm sending you good thoughts. |
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 22, 2016 7:18:07 GMT
This is not your fault!
Hugs!
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Post by andreasmom on Aug 22, 2016 7:18:56 GMT
((((((Hugs))))
Not your fault.
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,762
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Aug 22, 2016 7:19:03 GMT
I'm so sorry for both of you. ((Hugs))
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Post by welshjenni on Aug 22, 2016 7:19:44 GMT
How frightening for you both, I hope that she is now able to get all of the help that she needs. {{{hugs}}}
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Post by stumpedagainof3 on Aug 22, 2016 7:25:30 GMT
This all happened so quickly.
She has been a little down but I thought it was just summertime blues.
Then when I went to bed around 11pm, she was in my room and just blurted out that she did something bad. Then she said she wanted to die that she is never happy and just doesn't care. Then she showed me her arm. I just said I will take care of you and called the manual health number on the back of our insurance card. They urged me to bring her in to get her evaluated and come up with a plan. Now we wait.
Sorry for the rambling, just need to let it out!!!!
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Aug 22, 2016 7:25:31 GMT
I'm so sorry.
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Deleted
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May 6, 2024 16:00:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2016 7:27:45 GMT
I think it's a good sign that she felt safe enough to tell you.
Totally understandable that you need to talk.
ETA: and I think you did exactly the right thing by letting her know you would help and thinking + acting so quickly to get that help. See, you are NOT a failure as a parent. I don't know if I would have been that calm.
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Post by gar on Aug 22, 2016 7:30:40 GMT
Oh no...I can only imagine how scary and upsetting that is. I agree it's good that she told you - she's looking for the help she needs which now you can help to find for her. Hang in the Mum! ((hugs))
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Post by lucyg on Aug 22, 2016 7:33:10 GMT
I'm so glad she confided in you. So sorry you both are going through this. If it's any comfort, my DD had a very difficult adolescence ... not cutting, but other mental health issues ... and she is a happy, healthy, stable adult today.
I wish you so well. Good luck.
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,762
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Aug 22, 2016 7:37:32 GMT
I think it is very common for teenagers to be overwhelmed with life, having the right clothes, the right look, part of the in crowd, school workload, while all the time trying to be themselves. Problems we consider small change are huge to a teenager. I wouldn't be a teenager again especially with social media being a constant companion.
Turn this into a positive, she told you, she wants help and that is a good thing. You have made contact with professionals and that is a good thing. You can tap into a wealth of info here among the peas and that is a good thing. You are not a failure and you are not alone in this.
Hug her and let her talk.
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Post by scrappintoee on Aug 22, 2016 7:37:41 GMT
Oh my goodness....I'm SO sorry !!!! Many, many ((( hugs ))) & prayers for you and your daughter!
Maybe you could ask if there's a chaplain or social worker you could talk with right now? You are NOT a failure at alll; nor is ANYONE else! She has serious depression, and no one can be blamed for that----it is a *disease*!!!! I know it must be heartbreaking for you !!!
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Post by salem on Aug 22, 2016 7:41:50 GMT
I'm sorry. Such a tough age. I hope she gets some help.
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Deleted
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May 6, 2024 16:00:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2016 7:44:42 GMT
I'm so sorry that you're both going through this but also glad that you are now in a place to get the help needed. Please don't think you're a failure, she called for help and she turned to you.....the person she really knew that would protect her. That isn't being a failure that is something to be proud of. (((hugs)))
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 22, 2016 7:52:25 GMT
You made all the difference to your daughter tonight. It sounds like you kept a level head, open arms and a loving heart.
I hope she feels better soon.
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Post by anniefb on Aug 22, 2016 8:21:30 GMT
So sorry that you're both going through this. Hugs to you and DD.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 22, 2016 8:22:13 GMT
So sorry. x
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Post by stumpedagainof3 on Aug 22, 2016 8:37:20 GMT
Heading home with a plan. She should google alternatives to cutting to come up with some alternate outlets, like a rubber band on her arm (I will call our pediatrician tomorrow and come up with a better plan)
Thanks everyone for listening!! It really does help to breathe.
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Post by KelleeM on Aug 22, 2016 8:45:08 GMT
please find a therapist for her! I hope you both can get some rest. (((Hug)))
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Post by jenjie on Aug 22, 2016 8:49:46 GMT
I think it's a good sign that she felt safe enough to tell you. Totally understandable that you need to talk. ETA: and I think you did exactly the right thing by letting her know you would help and thinking + acting so quickly to get that help. See, you are NOT a failure as a parent. I don't know if I would have been that calm. This is what I'm thinking as well. She came to YOU. You responded well and got her help. I see your update that you're headed home together. With a plan. That's a good start. I hope you will find a good counselor for her. Big big hugs for both of you. Praying for you both before I go back to sleep. |
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,770
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Aug 22, 2016 10:15:44 GMT
I am so very sorry. You are not a failure if you are helping her to get the help she needs.
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Post by Patter on Aug 22, 2016 10:16:56 GMT
So thankful she was able to come to you. Praying that an effective treatment plan and counseling is set up for her. Hugs and prayers!
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Post by tinydogmafia on Aug 22, 2016 10:25:16 GMT
(((Hugs)))
Please be gentle on yourself. The thing about depression is that you often suffer silently, and privately. You had no idea because she most likely didn't want you to know. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,151
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Aug 22, 2016 10:34:45 GMT
I think it's a good sign that she felt safe enough to tell you. Totally understandable that you need to talk. ETA: and I think you did exactly the right thing by letting her know you would help and thinking + acting so quickly to get that help. See, you are NOT a failure as a parent. I don't know if I would have been that calm. Was going to say much the same, you are a great parent....your dd came to you and told you what was going on so you could help her! I read your update and it further confirms it for me. The hospital gave you a plan, but you know she needs more and are following up with her pediatrician. You've got this!! ((HUGS)) |
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Post by christine58 on Aug 22, 2016 10:59:59 GMT
Heading home with a plan. She should google alternatives to cutting to come up with some alternate outlets, like a rubber band on her arm (I will call our pediatrician tomorrow and come up with a better plan) Thanks everyone for listening!! It really does help to breathe. WHAT?? She needs a better plan...you need a better plan. Call and get her into counseling now!! Have your pediatrician recommend someone. |
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Aug 22, 2016 11:05:01 GMT
Heading home with a plan. She should google alternatives to cutting to come up with some alternate outlets, like a rubber band on her arm (I will call our pediatrician tomorrow and come up with a better plan) Thanks everyone for listening!! It really does help to breathe. Some young people find it helps to draw on themselves with a marker pen. These are little tips though, not a bigger solution. I hope she can get some counselling. For now, I hope you can both get some rest. |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Aug 22, 2016 11:15:49 GMT
((((hugs)))))
You are a wonderful parent. She came to you to tell you of her troubles. To tell you of her problem. And you responded properly! You did all the right things.
And she is a great kid. She knows she has a problem. And she had the strength to come to you and show you. To open up. That is bravery.
And now you are both home again with a plan. With a starting point. With direction as to where to go.
I am so proud of both of you.
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Deleted
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May 6, 2024 16:00:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2016 11:20:02 GMT
I'm so sorry to read this 😞
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