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Post by pealikecrazy on Oct 4, 2016 10:49:07 GMT
Ok - here's one for ya... next door neighbor girl (age 16ish) is selling weed I think. She is smoking it for sure...possibly selling "blunts" at school. Mom's employer = Sheriff's department. They are "new" neighbors and I use that term loosely = they've been there maybe 2 years? We do know them through school sports. I feel like that Kermit picture you see on Facebook where it says,"...but that's none of my business." I guess I don't have a real question just needed to vent. DD plays varsity sport with older girls in high school...sometimes she's even gotten rides home from some of these girls. I just really worry...
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Post by hop2 on Oct 4, 2016 11:26:32 GMT
Maybe no more rides home. Especially with that one.
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Post by pealikecrazy on Oct 4, 2016 11:39:49 GMT
Maybe no more rides home. Especially with that one. Yup! And it's tough...we see the dad outside and he LOVES to stand around and chat! |
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Post by debmast on Oct 4, 2016 11:40:18 GMT
Not sure what you can do about the neighbor without proof positive.
However, if it were me, my child would definitely not be riding home with her. What if they get pulled over and there's pot in the vehicle? Will the neighbor be honest and say it's hers? Try to pin it on your daughter? Not a chance I'd take.
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Post by hop2 on Oct 4, 2016 11:41:39 GMT
But other than that your right not your business. Well unless she has cars pulling up outside every other minute for a score. That I've called into the police before, right after a customer knocked on our house by mistake. LOL
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PaperAngel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,310
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Oct 4, 2016 13:16:38 GMT
While the actions of your neighbors may be "none of your business," protecting your child/ren is your concern. Instruct her/them to be polite, but not accept/offer rides home or be friends with the neighbor. If asked directly by the parents, I would cite rumored drug use as the reason.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Oct 4, 2016 13:17:21 GMT
Not your circus, not your monkeys.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,768 
Location: Kentucky
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Post by Kerri W on Oct 4, 2016 13:39:12 GMT
Definitely in the none of your business category. You're not responsible for what is taking place in your neighbor's house. I *would* talk to my own child about the rumors and suggest not accepting rides from the neighbor kids. And it's tough...we see the dad outside and he LOVES to stand around and chat! ?? So stand around and chat and be neighborly. I can guarantee there is something you/your family does that raises the neighbor's eyebrows. There's no reason you can't have a neighborly conversation (how's the weather? your grass looks great! how about the game last week?!). His child's behavior should have nothing to do with that. SaveSave |
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Post by anonrefugee on Oct 4, 2016 13:42:15 GMT
Ride sharing, either on your car, or theirs, must stop today.
If you know about it, others do too. Do you want your DD caught driving her and her supplies?
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Post by anxiousmom on Oct 4, 2016 13:47:52 GMT
I guess the question is what do you really want? Do you want to tell the parents? Or is that you just don't want your daughter to be friends with the girl? Are you worried that your daughter is smoking weed with them? That would be what guided my response.
(but take what I say with a grain of salt. I am/was not nearly as concerned about the kids smoking weed as I am/was about alcohol.)
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Post by jeremysgirl on Oct 4, 2016 13:56:52 GMT
I just don't see this as something you should get involved in for any reason. I would just have a talk with my child. I would reiterate that weed is illegal. And that I don't want my kids riding with a stoned driver. Then I would let it go. It's not my business what the neighbor kids are doing and I don't think weed is that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.
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Post by just PEAchy on Oct 4, 2016 14:14:00 GMT
We have a similar situation in our neighborhood. The boy next door, a senior, has been caught with drugs (pot) and the rumor around school is that he is dealing. We have basically not gotten involved. We are still friendly with the parents. We really don't know the whole story and as long as it doesn't spill over to our property, there's nothing for us to do. I guess if I saw a drug deal going on or some other disruption. I'd call the police, but that hasn't happened. I do have 2 high schoolers and I've told them about him and that they should keep their distance from the boy. They never interacted anyway. In your dd's case, I would tell her she couldn't ride with the person anymore.
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Post by Really Red on Oct 4, 2016 14:14:03 GMT
Ugh. I always wish parents would ask me if I know anything. I wish it SO HARD. But it never comes true. The ones who ask have kids who are great. The ones who don't ask, have kids on drugs. (hah - of course not all of them!!) We've had 2 teen ODs in the past few months  and it makes me sick. I hate to be in the camp that it's not your business, but I am. I absolutely would share if they asked you any questions. |
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Post by bc2ca on Oct 4, 2016 14:28:24 GMT
Ok - here's one for ya... next door neighbor girl (age 16ish) is selling weed I think. She is smoking it for sure...possibly selling "blunts" at school. Mom's employer = Sheriff's department. They are "new" neighbors and I use that term loosely = they've been there maybe 2 years? We do know them through school sports. I feel like that Kermit picture you see on Facebook where it says,"...but that's none of my business." I guess I don't have a real question just needed to vent. DD plays varsity sport with older girls in high school...sometimes she's even gotten rides home from some of these girls. I just really worry… I'm not making the connection between your neighbor possibly selling weed and DD get rides home from practice from older girls? For the first problem, mind your own business is really the only answer. I don't see a problem with getting rides as long as it is legal in your state. I would have a conversation with your DD about whether she thinks the girls are good drivers and why. If she is driving with someone erractic, texting, distracted or under the influence those are reason to cut the rides. IME, the kids are not lighting up for the ride home after practice. |
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Post by debmast on Oct 4, 2016 14:32:47 GMT
Ok - here's one for ya... next door neighbor girl (age 16ish) is selling weed I think. She is smoking it for sure...possibly selling "blunts" at school. Mom's employer = Sheriff's department. They are "new" neighbors and I use that term loosely = they've been there maybe 2 years? We do know them through school sports. I feel like that Kermit picture you see on Facebook where it says,"...but that's none of my business." I guess I don't have a real question just needed to vent. DD plays varsity sport with older girls in high school...sometimes she's even gotten rides home from some of these girls. I just really worry… I'm not making the connection between your neighbor possibly selling weed and DD get rides home from practice from older girls? For the first problem, mind your own business is really the only answer. I don't see a problem with getting rides as long as it is legal in your state. I would have a conversation with your DD about whether she thinks the girls are good drivers and why. If she is driving with someone erractic, texting, distracted or under the influence those are reason to cut the rides. IME, the kids are not lighting up for the ride home after practice. I took it to mean her DD was getting rides from the neighbor who she believes is dealing pot. |
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Post by bc2ca on Oct 4, 2016 14:56:59 GMT
I'm not making the connection between your neighbor possibly selling weed and DD get rides home from practice from older girls? For the first problem, mind your own business is really the only answer. I don't see a problem with getting rides as long as it is legal in your state. I would have a conversation with your DD about whether she thinks the girls are good drivers and why. If she is driving with someone erractic, texting, distracted or under the influence those are reason to cut the rides. IME, the kids are not lighting up for the ride home after practice. I took it to mean her DD was getting rides from the neighbor who she believes is dealing pot. The way the OP is worded, the varsity teammates are a different set of girls from the neighbor. Hopefully pealikecrazy can clarify.  |
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Post by llinin on Oct 4, 2016 15:01:27 GMT
I guess I wonder what you would want to know if it were your daughter. You know the parents from sports, are you friendly? Would you want them to tell you? What if it were pills? Heroin? The daughter can still get in trouble for selling pot and the Mom may be royally embarrassed if she works for the Sheriff. I wouldn't rush to tell them, but I wouldn't turn a blind eye to it. She is a young kid, hate to see her get in trouble that could be easily prevented.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,513
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
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Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Oct 4, 2016 16:06:16 GMT
I would want to know if it were my kid! When you say she's smoking it for sure, do you mean you've seen/smelled it yourself? If so, what would happen if you talked to the parents quietly, along the lines of, "What your DD does is her business, but she should know that it's visible and/or can be smelled on her, so she might want to be more discreet." I really don't know what I'd do in that situation. I'm not quite there yet with my kids.
If you only know from hearing kids talk in the car after practice, then I wouldn't say anything at all - it may or may not be true.
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Post by epeanymous on Oct 4, 2016 17:03:30 GMT
Not sure what you can do about the neighbor without proof positive. However, if it were me, my child would definitely not be riding home with her. What if they get pulled over and there's pot in the vehicle? Will the neighbor be honest and say it's hers? Try to pin it on your daughter? Not a chance I'd take. If there is pot in the car, everyone can be put under arrest, and, depending on the state, the passenger might even be able to be convicted. Absolutely, your kids shouldn't accept rides from people who may have drugs in the car, even when those people are stone cold sober.
As for what else, I think it would really depend on how solid my information was, how well I knew the parents, and what I thought the likely consequences for the child would be. There is a big difference between how I'd handle the situation where the parent was a longtime friend and I had personally witnesses the pot-dealing and how I'd handle it with a stranger parent and their stranger child where my information was derived from rumor.
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Post by pealikecrazy on Oct 4, 2016 17:54:37 GMT
I took it to mean her DD was getting rides from the neighbor who she believes is dealing pot. The way the OP is worded, the varsity teammates are a different set of girls from the neighbor. Hopefully pealikecrazy can clarify. SORRY LADIES! I haven't been on since I posted the original post. I always explain things un-clearly. I'm sorry. I have a bit of ADD and tend to ramble. Again, I'm sorry. I think I did state that I felt like it was none of my business, yet, I don't know... I'd want someone to tell me. Neighbor girl is not a driver...no car. My daughter doesn't drive (age 15). Other team members drive and alot of them are involved in this (weed) as is the neighbor girl. My DD was caught during the summer (weed) and swears she is not doing it. Truth is... I got TeenSafe... and I'm learning all kinds of things about the high schoolers and there activities. I can see her chats with a texting group from the team. My husband wants me to monitor her for a few months and make sure she isn't getting around the wrong people. As far as the neighbor DAD...he's a great guy. I like chatting with him. I think I feel guilty knowing about this and not telling him. Maybe he has caught her before. Maybe he knows. I think that it's very popular thing to do...I did it, but honestly, not very much. Regardless, the things I read are something I need to keep to myself anyway. I just needed to vent it out. Thanks for all your input! |
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Post by debmast on Oct 4, 2016 18:01:53 GMT
So wait ... not JUST the neighbor girl is involved with weed, but your own child was caught with it over the summer?
And it's not JUST the neighbor but several members of the sports team also involved?
Cause that's a whole different story than the "neighbor girl is selling weed"
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Post by anonrefugee on Oct 4, 2016 18:03:52 GMT
Hang in there pealikecrazy Teen raising is not for the meek. |
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,768
Location: Kentucky
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Post by Kerri W on Oct 4, 2016 18:45:35 GMT
So wait ... not JUST the neighbor girl is involved with weed, but your own child was caught with it over the summer? And it's not JUST the neighbor but several members of the sports team also involved? Cause that's a whole different story than the "neighbor girl is selling weed" No kidding! I'm going to go with, you just needed to vent. In that case...((hugs)) mom. Sometimes parenting teens is not fun and really flipping irritating and hard. SaveSave |
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Oct 4, 2016 18:52:13 GMT
is this something that could affect your daughter's place on the sports team? (or the other girls, for that matter)... like a zero tolerance policy, or a code of conduct policy for school athletes??
If so, and the sports participation is important to your daughter, if it was me, she'd be finding a different ride to / from practice. You don't want their behavior to jeopardize her place on the sports team-- and it could, if it's illegal and they had it in the car while she was with them and something happened.
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Post by pealikecrazy on Oct 4, 2016 18:56:54 GMT
Gosh, I guess the OP might have sounded like my daughter wasn't doing anything wrong...just the neighbor. I'm telling you...I just forget that you all don't really "know" me. lol. I wasn't trying to act the neighbor's kid is "bad"... I think what I mainly wanted to say was, "even the kid who's mom is a deputy..." KWIM? I think it shocked me to find out about this kid.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Oct 4, 2016 18:58:42 GMT
in that case, it's not so surprising, I don't think... when I was in high school in the mid 1980s, the kid to go to for that kind of stuff was the sheriff's son. And pretty much everyone knew about it.
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Post by littlemama on Oct 4, 2016 19:02:59 GMT
First, how do you "know". Is this rumor or is it first hand knowledge? If it's rumor, warn your dd to stay away from them so she doesn't get in trouble for something she may not be doing.
Definitely no riding in the car with drivers who may be using drugs.
If you know from first hand knowledge, like it is happening where you can see it, I would call the police.
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Post by pealikecrazy on Oct 4, 2016 19:05:47 GMT
is this something that could affect your daughter's place on the sports team? (or the other girls, for that matter)... like a zero tolerance policy, or a code of conduct policy for school athletes?? If so, and the sports participation is important to your daughter, if it was me, she'd be finding a different ride to / from practice. You don't want their behavior to jeopardize her place on the sports team-- and it could, if it's illegal and they had it in the car while she was with them and something happened. Oh, I hear you. They actually don't officially begin AFTER SCHOOL practice until Spring. They practice DURING the day at school, right now. It's not an issue this month...it was last Spring. She was a Freshman. These girls are Jrs and Seniors...but to answer your question, I do not know if they drug test at the school. DD KNOWS how we feel about it and she is on the straight and narrow since last May (late May). See, where we live, we are about a mile from the school. It's not a big deal to walk home, other than it's far and it's hot. Next door girlie was getting DD a ride because next door girl was getting a ride and they live next door to each other. Now, she could fall into this same thing in the Spring, however, next door girl is only doing "CLUB" sport...not school sport, so she will NOT be participating in the Spring and won't need a ride home. Clear as mud? |
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Post by pealikecrazy on Oct 4, 2016 19:11:08 GMT
First, how do you "know". Is this rumor or is it first hand knowledge? If it's rumor, warn your dd to stay away from them so she doesn't get in trouble for something she may not be doing. Definitely no riding in the car with drivers who may be using drugs. If you know from first hand knowledge, like it is happening where you can see it, I would call the police. I've read detailed texts. I won't go into each comment, but I feel 200% positive that it is occurring. Not sure WHERE, but it's happening. |
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
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Post by mlana on Oct 4, 2016 19:28:28 GMT
My neighbor's son sold pot for years. His customers would come thru the yard of the neighbor behind me and go across my yard to his house. His business grew to the point they wore a path thru my yard. I minded my own business until things started going missing out of my yards and my cars were damaged when someone tried to break into them.
I walked over to their house and asked to speak to the young man. I told him about the robberies and car damage and let him know that, should anything else be damaged or go missing, I would invite our cities finest to come have tea on my back porch every afternoon. I also told him I'd be buying a shotgun that afternoon, in case the police weren't around when the next person decided to go near my cars. When he asked why I was telling him, I said that he had a lot of friends who traveled thru my yard and he might want to let them know that would NOT be a good idea to continue. I never accused him of anything and he took the warning with good grace and passed it on.
Before the grass could grow back, he had a home invasion where 2 guys drove up, jumped out, and ran into the house. They shot him in the arm, grabbed his cash and stash and jumped into their car. They turned the wrong way onto our street and ended up having to turn around at the dead end. One of my neighbors saw they were wearing bandanas over their lower faces and took down their license plate. Another neighbor called the police.
When the young man realized the police were on the way, he jumped into his car and took off. His mom was so upset over what had happened, when the police asked what the bad guys had been after, she told them! She said it so loud and clear that those of us who were gathered around across the street heard her tell the officers that the robbers had been after her son's stash and cash. A few minutes later, the officers came over to ask if anyone had heard what she'd said; I guess he wanted to make sure he had witnesses to it.
Because it was obvious that she knew her son was dealing out of her home, she came really close to losing her house under the drug seizure laws. She was a widow with a life threatening illness, so the powers that be allowed her to keep the house but her son could no longer live there. (He was about 20 at the time, so didn't have to live at home) I think that was a relief to her, honestly.
Marcy
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and it makes me sick. 
