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Post by heather on Nov 21, 2016 23:43:50 GMT
So I knit. And thanks to Ravelry I quickly learned to knit with the good stuff. Wool being my yarn of choice.
And I have lots of knitting friends who have blessed me with their hand knit items made with and given to me out of love.
And my husband, who knows better, got into the chest where I keep everything knit, and washed and dried EVERYTHING I have ever knit, or was given to me as gifts. EVERYTHING. Scarves. Hats. Socks. Gloves. Mittens.
Did I mention he knows better? I have told him to never wash or dry anything of mine. Ever. And last month I had to throw away a stack of clothes that he dried and shrunk. This is a reoccurring theme with him. I don't know what else I need to do to get him to stop.
So everything is just a felted mess.I'm a mess. EVERYTHING is gone. EVERYTHING. I'm sobbing. Sick to my stomach. So pissed off I don't know what to do with myself. I know buying more yarn will be suggested. But really I have enough. This was years and years of love and time and pride gone due to repeated carelessness.
I know I'm being overly dramatic right now but I just saw the mess. Omg. Why does he keep doing this?
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Post by papersilly on Nov 21, 2016 23:46:08 GMT
oh no!!!!! I'm so sorry to hear that! can you do anything with the felted stuff? as a fan of felted projects, I hope you can find a way to breathe new life into them.
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Post by SweetieBugs on Nov 21, 2016 23:46:36 GMT
I have quilted for years and have been crocheting the last year and I completely feel your pain and I'm really angry at your husband for not thinking more clearly. Why would he even wash items that aren't in the laundry basket?? That is a horrible thing to happen and I'm really sorry for you.
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Post by bay63 on Nov 21, 2016 23:48:19 GMT
Wow, I would be really upset too! I used to knit and it takes a long time to do and to have everything gone in one wash... I can't imagine! What would possess him to do that?
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,762 
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Post by scrapngranny on Nov 21, 2016 23:53:07 GMT
OMG!!! I'm am sick with you. It will take you a long time to get over a loss like that. Thankfully, my DH never touches the laundry. (((Hugs)))
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Post by hop2 on Nov 21, 2016 23:53:19 GMT
OMG!!! I'd be devastated! My mom is gone now if DH did that to my stuff from my mom I'd loose my mind. i think my heart skipped reading your post. I just keep coming back to OMG! OMG!
Hugs.
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Post by pjaye on Nov 21, 2016 23:54:50 GMT
I don't understand why he would go into a 'chest' (clearly not a laundry basket) and start washing things at random.
(I'm being serious) does he have some sort of mental illness or is this some sort of deliberate punishment?
Clearly it's not just a one off accident...and for me this might be a deal breaker. I couldn't live with someone who deliberately destroyed the things I cherish. If he has some sort of genuine illness which impacts his thought process, then I would treat that differently, then you may have to make other provisions such as a lock on the chest and hide the key so when his impulses strike he can't act on them.
I'm sorry that this happened and also sorry for the potential 'big picture' here and I don't think you are being overly dramatic, it seems to be about a lot more than just some knitted garments. Good luck working your way through this.
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Post by happiest.raincloud on Nov 21, 2016 23:55:11 GMT
I would be heartbroken- I am so sorry!!
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,739
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Nov 22, 2016 0:01:51 GMT
Oh.my.goodness. What the heck was he even thinking. Heartbreak for you. Did he have any explanation?  ?? |
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Post by kat on Nov 22, 2016 0:07:15 GMT
I'm sorry, I knit with wool and would be crying too if anything was washed and thrown in the dryer. Why is he washing things stored in a chest?
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Nov 22, 2016 0:07:26 GMT
Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear this.
My DH one time pulled out an entire half a scarf (made with a graph & carried color changes so not just any scarf), thinking I was planning to rip it out and he was "helping". That was bad enough.
I can't imagine how upset you are  |
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,983
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Post by blue tulip on Nov 22, 2016 0:08:54 GMT
I don't understand why he would go into a 'chest' (clearly not a laundry basket) and start washing things at random. (I'm being serious) does he have some sort of mental illness or is this some sort of deliberate punishment? this! what the f was he doing?! is it really an "accident"?? it sounds like one of the most lasting, hurtful things he could've done to you and it doesn't seem like that would be an 'oops'. I am so sorry. |
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Nov 22, 2016 0:14:34 GMT
That really sucks and I can understand your pain. I would be devastated as well.
I hope you save it all for now and, when you're able to deal with the loss, are able to create something new with them.
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Post by gillyp on Nov 22, 2016 0:15:41 GMT
Ugh. I can so understand your despair. Does he have any comprehension of what he's done and how it makes you feel?
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Post by monklady123 on Nov 22, 2016 0:15:49 GMT
I don't understand why he would go into a 'chest' (clearly not a laundry basket) and start washing things at random. (I'm being serious) does he have some sort of mental illness or is this some sort of deliberate punishment? Clearly it's not just a one off accident...and for me this might be a deal breaker. I couldn't live with someone who deliberately destroyed the things I cherish. If he has some sort of genuine illness which impacts his thought process, then I would treat that differently, then you may have to make other provisions such as a lock on the chest and hide the key so when his impulses strike he can't act on them. I'm sorry that this happened and also sorry for the potential 'big picture' here and I don't think you are being overly dramatic, it seems to be about a lot more than just some knitted garments. Good luck working your way through this. I'm so sorry this happened. As a knitter I'm horrified in fact. And I agree with Pjaye, to me this seems deliberately cruel. If you've told him not to do this and he continues to do it then it has to be done on purpose.  |
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Post by rst on Nov 22, 2016 0:27:28 GMT
I am so sorry that happened. I don't think you are over-reacting at all. I'm not sure what positive actions you can take going forward, but I would feel like this is something I would have to talk through w/ DH and get resolved. Surely he understands what a huge amount of work was destroyed, not to mention the value of materials?
Does he have issues with your knitting?
I'm a quilter, and I have a DH who is not a fan of things handmade in general, or quilted in particular. I honor his tastes by not giving him quilts as gifts, and not overwhelming the entire house with my projects. In return he refrains from making negative comments and trying to "improve" my personal style. But even before we came to this understanding, I don't think he would have intentionally (or carelessly) ruined my stuff. Unless he's a compulsive launderer and has memory issues, it's hard to understand how that happened.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,496
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Post by ellen on Nov 22, 2016 0:35:09 GMT
My first thought was to wonder why on earth he would do that. What was his explanation for doing it? It would be really strange if my husband decided to wash all of the things I have crocheted.
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,692
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Nov 22, 2016 0:38:28 GMT
I am so sorry for you, as a crafter, my heart is crying for you.
I *had* a not-so H who actually threw away a bag of quilting fabric (garbage bag full of Moda & similar) quality because the bag was 'just sitting there in my craft room'. Yes, I couldn't find a clear bag and he said he just wanted to help me clean out the *garbage*. I was furious.
Big big hugs. Yes, there is something wrong with him, very wrong. I am so sorry for this tremendous loss.
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Post by heather on Nov 22, 2016 0:48:11 GMT
The weather changed dramatically this weekend and the chest is where I keep all the winter accessories. So he washed everything stored in the chest, including leather gloves. So those are ruined too.
Pure carelessness. I don't know what else to say.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 22, 2016 0:52:06 GMT
Hugs to you. I understand fully what you are going through. My idiot exhusband was asked to clean the basement once and he threw away a whole Rubbermaid tote of my kids special things. There baby blankets and stuff from the hospital. Keepsake things. I was so mad at him I went and grabbed a handful of his cherished record albums and threw them right out the backdoor onto the driveway. I had a major bipolar moment with that one.
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Post by leftturnonly on Nov 22, 2016 1:15:31 GMT
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Post by anonrefugee on Nov 22, 2016 1:28:28 GMT
My DH keeps leaving the full size freezer door open. That's been gross and expensive, but not heartbreaking like this.
He washed leather gloves? I don't know what to say. Clearly not aware!!!
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Post by elaine on Nov 22, 2016 1:38:15 GMT
He clearly has too much time on his hands. I suggest that you suggest he find a hobby to keep him busy.
At the same time, show him the Christmas Story, and after the wife breaks the lamp, pause the movie and have a discussion about what he thinks was going on in the movie and the motivation for her actions. Then ask if he can see the connection to what he did to your knitting....
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Nov 22, 2016 1:40:57 GMT
He clearly has too much time on his hands. I suggest that you suggest he find a hobby to keep him busy. At the same time, show him the Christmas Story, and after the wife breaks the lamp, pause the movie and have a discussion about what he thinks was going on in the movie and the motivation for her actions. Then ask if he can see the connection to what he did to your knitting.... Teach him to knit!
No really. He may realize the value of the lost pieces when he sees how much work goes into them.
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Post by heather on Nov 22, 2016 1:43:42 GMT
He clearly has too much time on his hands. I suggest that you suggest he find a hobby to keep him busy. At the same time, show him the Christmas Story, and after the wife breaks the lamp, pause the movie and have a discussion about what he thinks was going on in the movie and the motivation for her actions. Then ask if he can see the connection to what he did to your knitting.... Some of the stuff that was destroyed was made with yarn you sent me. Remember Mama Blue and Saffron Dyeworks? Both no longer dyeing. Yeah. Irreplaceable. |
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Post by heather on Nov 22, 2016 1:50:17 GMT
.[/quote] Teach him to knit!
No really. He may realize the value of the lost pieces when he sees how much work goes into them.
[/quote] I'm not sure being in close proximity with him and sharp needles is a good idea at this point in time. |
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Nov 22, 2016 1:52:06 GMT
Teach him to knit!
No really. He may realize the value of the lost pieces when he sees how much work goes into them.
[/quote] I'm not sure being in close proximity with him and sharp needles is a good idea at this point in time. [/quote][/p]
Good point
ETA: No idea why the quote is all jacked up.
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Post by kernriver on Nov 22, 2016 1:59:08 GMT
Why on earth would he be in a chest looking for laundry? Dont you keep your dirty clothes in a hamper? I would make the credit card explode.
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Post by destined2bmom on Nov 22, 2016 2:05:15 GMT
Hugs! I completely understand how you feel about your treasures. My mom crocheted a beautiful Afghan for me and if my DH destroyed it; even unintentionally, I would be sick from it and mad for months. How have you not hurt him?
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Post by elaine on Nov 22, 2016 2:08:09 GMT
He clearly has too much time on his hands. I suggest that you suggest he find a hobby to keep him busy. At the same time, show him the Christmas Story, and after the wife breaks the lamp, pause the movie and have a discussion about what he thinks was going on in the movie and the motivation for her actions. Then ask if he can see the connection to what he did to your knitting.... Some of the stuff that was destroyed was made with yarn you sent me. Remember Mama Blue and Saffron Dyeworks? Both no longer dyeing. Yeah. Irreplaceable. Oh Heather, I'm even more sorry. Some of the most beautiful yarn artists - I still covet everything I've made with both those dyers' yarns. |
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