|
Post by scrapperal on Nov 22, 2016 18:58:08 GMT
heather, how are you feeling today? Does your DH know how you're feeling? I'm getting mixed messages about how you feel about this. One is that you've repeatedly asked him not to wash (and ruin) your things, but he continues to do it. This frustrates you, but you seem to think it is his personality and is okay? Maybe you're okay with the behavior, but not the end result? I am concerned for you that he continues to do something that you've asked him not to. I hope that your beautiful items can somehow be saved and you can remember the love that went into the creating and gifting.
|
|
|
Post by heather on Nov 22, 2016 19:32:06 GMT
heather , how are you feeling today? Does your DH know how you're feeling? I'm getting mixed messages about how you feel about this. One is that you've repeatedly asked him not to wash (and ruin) your things, but he continues to do it. This frustrates you, but you seem to think it is his personality and is okay? Maybe you're okay with the behavior, but not the end result? I am concerned for you that he continues to do something that you've asked him not to. I hope that your beautiful items can somehow be saved and you can remember the love that went into the creating and gifting. Oh I'm not ok with it. At all. But he is my husband and I'm not going to post what I really feel about the situation and him right now.
I've been crying off and on all day. I still feel sick to my stomach. After awhile, not right now, I will see if soaking and using hair conditioner will salvage some of the things. I'm giving myself this day to wallow.
And as for repurposing? Maybe one day. But what I see right now when I look at the pile is how hurt I am by his actions and not the love that went into creating them. If the balance tips, maybe I'll get my craft on and think what I can do with it all. Felted coasters anyone?!?
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 29, 2024 10:41:40 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 19:38:56 GMT
I mentioned this thread to my dh and he said, if I did that, you'd probably divorce me.
Not saying you should but I totally understand how you feel. I don't think I'd be able to hold back any screaming though. I'd likely dump out the mead he's been aging.
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Nov 22, 2016 20:16:04 GMT
Hugs to you. I understand fully what you are going through. My idiot exhusband was asked to clean the basement once and he threw away a whole Rubbermaid tote of my kids special things. There baby blankets and stuff from the hospital. Keepsake things. I was so mad at him I went and grabbed a handful of his cherished record albums and threw them right out the backdoor onto the driveway. I had a major bipolar moment with that one. I love you!
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Nov 22, 2016 20:18:32 GMT
heather I am so sorry. I'm horrified. I can't imagine how angry I'd be, and hurt.
|
|
|
Post by ilikepink on Nov 22, 2016 20:32:59 GMT
I'm heartbroken for you! Sometimes men are just stupid.
I cross stitch; many years ago I used to attend Spirit of Cross Stitch festivals and made a chatelaine at a class. Different teachers for different sections; it was an all-day, very expensive class. The chatelaine fell behind a piece of furniture in the basement, got wet and moldy before I found it. I still remember my cry - brought all 3 sons and husband running -as if someone had died. It wasn't necessarily anyone's fault about the leak (although husband was aware of it and hadn't fixed it). His response was to just make another one.
I feel your pain, and validate your anger. Big time.
|
|
|
Post by gillyp on Nov 22, 2016 20:50:04 GMT
You have far more self control than I do. I would not have been able to stop myself flying at him.
I like the idea of repurposing but I think in your shoes my anger/sadness would rise every time I saw the items! However, getting past that I could see them as decorative wall panels with Freeform crochet in between.
|
|
peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,389
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
|
Post by peaname on Nov 22, 2016 20:56:22 GMT
My heart goes out to you. I'd be so pissed I would cry. I hope you feel better. Perhaps he'll learn to knit and make you something lovely.
|
|
|
Post by craftedbys on Nov 22, 2016 21:14:41 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. I would be beside myself. Yes, I know to so.e people it's just "stuff", but you have put a great deal of time and talent into making those things and the others hold good memories.
I haven't read every reply, but in case no one has suggested it yet, you could make a quilt out of the felted wool items. I am working on a quilt like that, but had to collect old wool sweaters and felt them myself. It might make a beautiful (and warm) memory quilt, and depending on how much you have you might be able to make more than one.
|
|
|
Post by merry on Nov 22, 2016 22:21:52 GMT
Include me in the group who is aching for you. Because we dedicate a part of our lives to an old-fashioned craft. Because we know the time, energy, love and expense that went into those pieces. Because he is your husband and spouses can make hideous mistakes that we never can really forget. Really this group probably can come up with some ideas that will repurpose those pieces in a lovely way - let's hear it ladies! Here's what I got when I put in pinterest - recycled wool projects []=recycled%7Cautocomplete%7C2&term_meta[]=wool%7Cautocomplete%7C2&term_meta[]=crafts%7Cautocomplete%7C2
|
|
|
Post by crimsoncat05 on Nov 22, 2016 22:27:05 GMT
I do understand that it will probably take quite a while before you can look at the items without feeling the pain of their loss, and that it will take a while before you can think about repurposing or salvaging them...
that being said, since Christmas is coming up, my thoughts turn to Christmas items, lol (whenever you can think about doing it) ...maybe you could use the felted wool in some way to make some sort of a Christmas tree garland or banner?? or ornaments?
My mom makes penny rug style candle mats, table runners, etc. using wool felt. Maybe a project of that sort, or using the wool to decorate a throw pillow- of course, you may not want to look at them ever again, either. Myself, I'd be inclined to go that route, at least for a good long while.
|
|
|
Post by leftturnonly on Nov 25, 2016 0:53:30 GMT
I was ready to say he obviously wanted to send you a message, very passive-aggressively, by going into your chest and washing things that didn't need to be washing...but your explanation shows maybe, just maybe, he didn't actually ruin everything on purpose. But I can't imagine a grown man thinking leather gloves can be machine washed. Is this his way of culling your collection, if he thinks you're hoarding? Is he jealous of the time you spend with your hobby? I hope I'm not reading too much into it, but is he emotionally abusive? It's really hard to imagine this wasn't a deliberate act. If he's doing it repeatedly, is there a mental aspect you should be concerned about? I'm sorry, I'd be so upset too! I don't knit much now because I have a new job that takes up most of my time. I've been working on the same pair of socks for over a year now. But they'll be awesome when done! Lol. Honestly, I could see him just scooping everything up and throwing it in the washer without looking at what he was doing. I haven't talked to him about it yet because I know I'd say things I regret and I don't want a huge blow up a few days before thanksgiving. So I'll just suck it up. For now. Boys! I remember watching one boy do his laundry in college. He was down to his shorts only and everything else he owned was in one washing machine all at the same time with him standing on top of it pushing it all in with his feet.
|
|