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Post by mlynn on Nov 22, 2016 2:08:56 GMT
Well, at least there is a somewhat rational explanation and it wasn't pure spite or passive aggressiveness. I am really sorry that this happened. Hugs.
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Post by peasapie on Nov 22, 2016 2:12:41 GMT
Well that stinks.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Nov 22, 2016 2:20:09 GMT
I'd ask him if he was being passive aggressive or a dumbass. Only one answer.
SHEESH. I'd be so pissed off too. Why the need to wash ANY winter stuff at all? Has he at least felt bad and apologized??
I worked THREE YEARS to get some specific flowers to bloom in my garden. That was the year that my husband took the weed trimmer to the entire thing. I was so pissed. I still cuss about it. Out of 5 years, I got flowers 2. I think he bought me some flowers after that as an apology. Your husband better be taking you to the yarn store and handing over his credit card bare minimum.
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Post by Zee on Nov 22, 2016 2:21:50 GMT
The weather changed dramatically this weekend and the chest is where I keep all the winter accessories. So he washed everything stored in the chest, including leather gloves. So those are ruined too. Pure carelessness. I don't know what else to say. I was ready to say he obviously wanted to send you a message, very passive-aggressively, by going into your chest and washing things that didn't need to be washing...but your explanation shows maybe, just maybe, he didn't actually ruin everything on purpose. But I can't imagine a grown man thinking leather gloves can be machine washed. Is this his way of culling your collection, if he thinks you're hoarding? Is he jealous of the time you spend with your hobby? I hope I'm not reading too much into it, but is he emotionally abusive? It's really hard to imagine this wasn't a deliberate act. If he's doing it repeatedly, is there a mental aspect you should be concerned about? I'm sorry, I'd be so upset too!
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Grom Pea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,944
Jun 27, 2014 0:21:07 GMT
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Post by Grom Pea on Nov 22, 2016 2:22:17 GMT
I feel sick for you, I'm so sorry :-(
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Post by heather on Nov 22, 2016 2:31:15 GMT
The weather changed dramatically this weekend and the chest is where I keep all the winter accessories. So he washed everything stored in the chest, including leather gloves. So those are ruined too. Pure carelessness. I don't know what else to say. I was ready to say he obviously wanted to send you a message, very passive-aggressively, by going into your chest and washing things that didn't need to be washing...but your explanation shows maybe, just maybe, he didn't actually ruin everything on purpose. But I can't imagine a grown man thinking leather gloves can be machine washed. Is this his way of culling your collection, if he thinks you're hoarding? Is he jealous of the time you spend with your hobby? I hope I'm not reading too much into it, but is he emotionally abusive? It's really hard to imagine this wasn't a deliberate act. If he's doing it repeatedly, is there a mental aspect you should be concerned about? I'm sorry, I'd be so upset too! I don't knit much now because I have a new job that takes up most of my time. I've been working on the same pair of socks for over a year now. But they'll be awesome when done! Lol. Honestly, I could see him just scooping everything up and throwing it in the washer without looking at what he was doing. I haven't talked to him about it yet because I know I'd say things I regret and I don't want a huge blow up a few days before thanksgiving. So I'll just suck it up. For now.
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Post by Zee on Nov 22, 2016 2:32:50 GMT
I was ready to say he obviously wanted to send you a message, very passive-aggressively, by going into your chest and washing things that didn't need to be washing...but your explanation shows maybe, just maybe, he didn't actually ruin everything on purpose. But I can't imagine a grown man thinking leather gloves can be machine washed. Is this his way of culling your collection, if he thinks you're hoarding? Is he jealous of the time you spend with your hobby? I hope I'm not reading too much into it, but is he emotionally abusive? It's really hard to imagine this wasn't a deliberate act. If he's doing it repeatedly, is there a mental aspect you should be concerned about? I'm sorry, I'd be so upset too! I don't knit much now because I have a new job that takes up most of my time. I've been working on the same pair of socks for over a year now. But they'll be awesome when done! Lol. Honestly, I could see him just scooping everything up and throwing it in the washer without looking at what he was doing. I haven't talked to him about it yet because I know I'd say things I regret and I don't want a huge blow up a few days behind thanksgiving. So I'll just suck it up. For now. If you feel pretty certain it was just carelessness, that's annoying but at least not disturbing. Hugs!
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missmeegz127
Full Member
Posts: 103
Jun 25, 2014 22:46:42 GMT
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Post by missmeegz127 on Nov 22, 2016 2:34:04 GMT
I'm so sorry and totally understand the anger. My mother was a knitter and now that she is gone I refuse to wear the socks she knitted me because I would be heart broken if anything happened to them.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,029
Jun 26, 2014 19:29:07 GMT
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Post by scrappyesq on Nov 22, 2016 2:52:52 GMT
So I knit. And thanks to Ravelry I quickly learned to knit with the good stuff. Wool being my yarn of choice. And I have lots of knitting friends who have blessed me with their hand knit items made with and given to me out of love. And my husband, who knows better, got into the chest where I keep everything knit, and washed and dried EVERYTHING I have ever knit, or was given to me as gifts. EVERYTHING. Scarves. Hats. Socks. Gloves. Mittens. Did I mention he knows better? I have told him to never wash or dry anything of mine. Ever. And last month I had to throw away a stack of clothes that he dried and shrunk. This is a reoccurring theme with him. I don't know what else I need to do to get him to stop. So everything is just a felted mess.I'm a mess. EVERYTHING is gone. EVERYTHING. I'm sobbing. Sick to my stomach. So pissed off I don't know what to do with myself. I know buying more yarn will be suggested. But really I have enough. This was years and years of love and time and pride gone due to repeated carelessness. I know I'm being overly dramatic right now but I just saw the mess. Omg. Why does he keep doing this? It's not over dramatic by any means. A lot of love goes in to knitting. I'm so sorry. I would be sick too.
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nopeaq
Junior Member
Posts: 89
Jun 27, 2014 12:15:06 GMT
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Post by nopeaq on Nov 22, 2016 3:25:07 GMT
Add me to the chorus of so so sorry. My stomach just sank when I read your post.😓
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Nov 22, 2016 3:47:14 GMT
No, you are not being overly dramatic. You spent a ton of time and energy creating those items, as did your friends. Now through his negligence, not caring, whatever you want to call it, they have all been destroyed. Why would he do such a thing? You have every right to be hurt and angry. I'm angry for you.
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Post by mama2three on Nov 22, 2016 3:51:40 GMT
I am so sorry. You are not overreacting at all. I too would be heartbroken. It was bad enough for me to see the bed size quilt I made my sister and hand quilted being used as a dog bed. I can only imagine what you're feeling. Count me with those who are wondering why in the world your DH was washing stored mittens and scarves that were in a chest. Makes no sense. I could see if they were his stored shirts and smelled of mothballs, but woolens?! I'm sorry. My DH learned long ago to never even consider washing anything of mine.
It doesn't bring back the items in their original state, but once you've cooled down, consider whether anything can be repurposed by being made into a wool quilt. Or cut to make flowers or other shapes you can appliqué with blanket stitch onto felted wool yardage to make a throw. Or, if adult size mittens got felted, would they fit a child? Consider honoring the person who made them by blessing a child in need with warm handmade mittens. Can a scarf be remade into a wool purse by folding it in thirds and sewing up the sides (add a contrasting strap). If you have lots of mittens, appliqué them to a felted wool quilt or felted yardage (swirling mittens similar to falling leaves).
Of course, it's not the same as the original, but even a piece of the item will help you remember the person who made it and the love that went into it. Don't throw anything away until you have considered all possibilities. If you don't sew in addition to knit, brainstorm with a quilting or sewing friend. Hugs.
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Post by nlwilkins on Nov 22, 2016 6:00:48 GMT
OH No THE HE** NO! I would not be worrying about saying something I would regret, nor would I worry about spoiling Thanksgiving. He lost that consideration when he went against your wishes. By keeping silent now you lessen the importance of what he did. Let him have it with both barrels. You have lost irreplaceable items. There is no getting around that.
my heart is sad at what you lost. I knit and crochet but more importantly, I have cherished items that are knitted crocheted and quilted that can never be replaced. the idea of losing them is not something I care to think about.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 29, 2024 11:31:52 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 6:12:47 GMT
I would be upset, too. You had worked so many hours to knit things, plus the gifts had sentimental value. Does your chest have a lock? I think I would lock up anything he isn't supposed to touch, from now on. Seems strange that he is doing things he knows better than to do. And who would think it was OK to wash leather gloves, anyway? Sounds like it would be better to take him off laundry duty, since it seems to be something above and beyond his understanding. So sorry this happened to you.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 29, 2024 11:31:52 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 6:47:53 GMT
You can't unfelt , but you may be able to stretch them.
Buy a good hair conditioner and soak a piece in the conditioner/ water, then gently stretch. Then block/ pin it. Let dry. I hope this works for you.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 29, 2024 11:31:52 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 9:35:06 GMT
I'm so sorry. The thought of all your beautiful work being destroyed is heartbreaking.
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Post by KelleeM on Nov 22, 2016 9:45:32 GMT
I'm so sorry. I would be devastated.
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Post by jennyap on Nov 22, 2016 10:24:02 GMT
Oh man, I'm SO sorry. Has he acknowledged what he's done AT ALL? Or just left it somewhere for you to find? I'm not vindictive and I don't generally hold a grudge - people before things, right? - but I've got to say this would take me a while to forgive. If this were my DH I'm not sure I could even look at him without getting angry anytime soon. I know it's not the same but I really like mama2three's suggestions for ways you could repurpose some of it. ((hugs))
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,171
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Nov 22, 2016 10:35:16 GMT
I am so so sorry. I actually gasped when I read what has happened. And I'm another who couldn't postpone that conversation - I would be screaming my head off at such stupidity. (And I very rarely lose my temper.)
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,760
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Nov 22, 2016 10:41:38 GMT
I am so so sorry. I just can't get over the fact that this is the second time he has done this. I would be furious and I won't be shy about letting him know.
((BIG BIG HUGS)
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Post by Butterfly Momma on Nov 22, 2016 12:35:55 GMT
My heart sank when I read your post. You are not being dramatic. So sorry that this happened!!!!
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Post by wezee on Nov 22, 2016 13:54:45 GMT
there is a product called unshrink it. I think it was on Shark tank. Can't hurt to try it
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,750
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Nov 22, 2016 14:08:19 GMT
This makes my heart hurt. I can't imagine losing such precious memories. But if he did it out of carelessness, then it's better than the other reasons posted here! Good luck with your "talk" later on this subject. Sending cyber hugs to you and hoping you may be able to reuse some of the items for different projects.
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Post by rst on Nov 22, 2016 16:01:27 GMT
I love the ideas for re-creating that mama23 shared above. If you decide to go that route -- making them in to a quilt or throw, and you need a sewing collaborator, I would be glad to help you out. I've not done anything that large with wool fabrics, but I've done a lot of free motion quilting and collaborative quilting projects and I'd love to assist in making something new and wonderful out of the sad loss.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Nov 22, 2016 16:08:25 GMT
I'm so sorry. The thought of all your beautiful work being destroyed is heartbreaking. ^^^ this! I hadn't read this thread before because I don't knit or crochet, but the rather thoughtless destruction of so many handmade, irreplaceable items makes me heartsick for you. Did he think he was 'helping' get ready for winter by washing the items, or something?? And leather gloves, too?? That just doesn't make any sense!
If it was me, I think I'd have to say something about it now to get it out in the open before Thanksgiving, otherwise it really would lessen the magnitude of the awfulness of what he did-- and knowing me, the longer I thought about it, the more bitter I would feel about it, so that might make it worse, too.
I hope that you can save some of the items and use them in some other way, or stretch them out as someone suggested.
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Montannie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,486
Location: Big Sky Country
Jun 25, 2014 20:32:35 GMT
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Post by Montannie on Nov 22, 2016 16:16:15 GMT
My heart is still racing after reading this! I would be so very, very angry. My first thoughts were that this was passive aggression toward you, and I worried a bit about abuse. If you are otherwise safe, and can chalk it up to a dunderheaded move on his part, that's okay.
I would be inclined to hang up all the little tiny things on those picture clotheslines, as "art," so he could look daily upon his destruction.
But I'm a passive-aggressive bitch in my own way, I guess.
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,660
Jun 25, 2014 19:33:19 GMT
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Post by Rhondito on Nov 22, 2016 16:32:56 GMT
I'm a knitter. Who uses hand-dyed yarn. I have no words.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,421
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on Nov 22, 2016 16:43:29 GMT
You are not being over dramatic. So much time goes into making each and every piece. WTH is wrong him with and he washed leather gives too? Obviously he shouldn't been in that chest at all, it wasn't a laundry hamper. Oh I'm just sick for you. I can't imagine throwing out my hobby's lifetime of work.
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Post by krc11 on Nov 22, 2016 17:20:56 GMT
I'm so sorry. I wouldn't be able to hold back. It really only lessens the impact of what he did. He will think it was no big deal and then pull the "why are you mad" BS that guys usually pull. And why should YOU be the one to have a horrible Thanksgiving and he gets to have a pleasant one? Yeah, he can go to his Mom's and just stay ... for a long time. I don't think I could even look at him over Thanksgiving. And, you know, it will be Your fault if you are testy or bitchy over Thanksgiving, regardless of whether you talk to him before or after.
I'd also be one that would absolutely destroy something sentimental to him. He's done this twice. Guys like to pretend they are idiots. They aren't as clueless as they like to pretend. I may be a bit jaded, but I don't buy the BS any longer.
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Post by malibou on Nov 22, 2016 17:45:44 GMT
I gasped as I read this. My dh is sitting next to me and asked what was up, so I read this to him. The look on his face was pure devastation for you. He just swore up and down that he would NEVER do something like this to me.
I am so sorry. So. Sorry.
J
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