StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,666
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Dec 22, 2016 20:52:08 GMT
She's trying not to hurt her moms feelings.
I'm 36 and wrote a letter to Santa, and so did my 18, 18, and 16 year old sons...and my dad
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Dec 22, 2016 21:00:06 GMT
Late 40s and counting. . . Here too!
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,884
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Dec 22, 2016 21:13:20 GMT
This is something I struggle with. My 14 year old son claims to still believe. He has autism and is delayed, so it is possible that he believes. But I think he is only saying that to keep getting Santa presents. Last year I tried to tell him that there was no Santa. I didn't want him going to high school believing in Santa. Anyway, he said he doesn't believe me. So I just let him do his thing. It clearly doesn't bother him, so why should it bother me if he believes.
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Post by pierkiss on Dec 22, 2016 21:16:41 GMT
10 and up is for sure too old. I found out when I was 4. The girls I played with (a few years older than me) spilled the beans. I remember having the thought that I didn't want my parents to be sad that I didn't believe so I just played along. And I had a little brother, and I didn't want to ruin it for him. So I just kept my mouth shut. My mom finally asked when I was around 12. I admitted I didn't believe then. No biggie. I haven't told them when or how I found out.
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Post by dulcemama on Dec 22, 2016 21:21:06 GMT
We decided to tell DD the Christmas that she was 9. We wanted to be able to direct the conversation before she started doubting. What we told her was that, at Christmas, we celebrate the birth of Jesus. And one of the most important things that Jesus taught us was to give to others without getting anything in return or taking "credit" for it. Santa is a way that we practice that. We also told her that Santa is real, it's just that he's not one person like the stories.
DD still writes letters to Santa and we still do Elf on the Shelf because she still enjoys these things.
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Post by darkangel090260 on Dec 22, 2016 21:21:22 GMT
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Post by refugeepea on Dec 22, 2016 21:24:11 GMT
Late 40s and counting. . . I honestly hadn't heard of Santa being a thing with adults and older children until 2 peas. He wasn't a big deal. It was magical when you believed, after that we didn't pretend. If someone were to ask me if I believed, I'd say I stopped when I was seven. I have since learned I am in the minority of how people view him.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Dec 22, 2016 21:30:46 GMT
We decided to tell DD the Christmas that she was 9. We wanted to be able to direct the conversation before she started doubting. What we told her was that, at Christmas, we celebrate the birth of Jesus. And one of the most important things that Jesus taught us was to give to others without getting anything in return or taking "credit" for it. Santa is a way that we practice that. We also told her that Santa is real, it's just that he's not one person like the stories. DD still writes letters to Santa and we still do Elf on the Shelf because she still enjoys these things. This was a nice way to put it.
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twinsmomfla99
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,987
Jun 26, 2014 13:42:47 GMT
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Post by twinsmomfla99 on Dec 22, 2016 23:22:45 GMT
I really don't think most kids need to be "sat down." But, when kids start asking point-blank and/or you are going to great lengths to continue to deceive by the end of elementary school. I think you need to evaluate your own motives and desires. We don't need to force kids to grow up, but we also help them navigate the world and sometimes it requires bubble bursting. It would concern ME, personally, if my kids were 100% believing in a literal Santa at 11/12 years old. I would find it sweet, but I would not find it comforting because I would be concerned about their ability to critically think. Again, I am not talking about believing in the "magic" of Christmas, but the literal incarnation of Santa.
I am thinking of having "the talk" because I know my kids are transitioning and are asking questions and it feels right "to me" to have a healthy and honest conversation, and I feel the older they get, the more chances they will feel deceived vs. feel like I am letting them in on the secret. I also realize that every kid is different, and what works for me might not work for anyone else. This x 1000! We expect kids to draw a distinction between "magical" fairy tales and reality at about 3rd grade. That's when I remember my kids learning the "common themes" in fairy tales and fantasy stories. Yet somehow, it is okay to encourage them to believe in the Santa myth long after we are trying to teach them how to critically evaluate a story. And quite honestly, if your kid is questioning whether or not Santa is real in elementary school (when most of their friends are probably questioning as well), and you go to great lengths to convince them he is real (phone calls from elves, reindeer prints in the snow, etc.), then you are not doing your kid any favors if they go to school and profess true belief and end up feeling "punked" or foolish when they do finally find out Santa isn't real. I just don't understand why you would do that to a child. If they are asking you for the truth at a reasonable age, I think you owe it to them to be honest. I am not talking about a younger child who has had the "magic" ruined by an older child or thoughtless adult--I can understand trying to make Christmas "fun" for them again by making the magic last another year or two. But by the time they get to 3rd or 4th grade and start using what they have learned about science and the "reality" of whether or not Santa can REALLY do all that stuff, I think it is kind of mean to try to convince them otherwise. Those of you who said you believed until you were older and were not teased--good for you. But as a former 5th grade teacher, I definitely saw situations where 10 and 11 year olds who still believed were given a hard time. As a teacher, of course I took up for the child being teased and talked to the other kids about it in private. But I thought it was ridiculous that as upper-elementary teachers, we had to tiptoe around the issue because some parents would have had a hissy fit if their child learned the truth at school. If a child listed Santa as a "mythical creature," I was not supposed to agree and somehow spin it so that any still-believing 5th-graders would not be exposed to the truth. I have heard some parents go so far as to suggest that no teacher EVER should say Santa isn't real, even in high school, because they might ruin it for true believers. For the record, to the best of my knowledge, I never "ruined" Christmas by spilling the beans to a student, and I would never suggest that it is my place or any teacher's place to unilaterally tell an entire classroom of children that Santa isn't real. But if it comes up in a discussion, and a child is making an argument in favor of Santa being a myth (and providing valid reasons for support), why should I have to "lie" and say he is real? Should I have to do that for unicorns and Shrek, too? I fortunately never had the situation come up in my classroom, but I had a fellow teacher who did. She supported the child who said Santa wasn't real by saying he made very good points. She never said Santa wasn't real, but she didn't correct him and say "oh but he is real." She did suggest that some other students might still believe. That was the extent of the conversation, but she still got in hot water with a couple of parents who thought she had not gone far enough to "preserve" the beliefs of their children.
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Post by AussieMeg on Dec 22, 2016 23:30:01 GMT
I think if you're old enough to be obnoxious like that, you're old enough to know the truth. I agree totally!! And I don't think that I'd be rewarding that obnoxiousness by racing around trying to find the goggles. In fact I'd probably wait until Christmas morning when the kid opens his presents to find NO goggles, and say "What, no goggles? Well that sucks - I guess Santa doesn't exist after all!" (I wouldn't really do that, but I'd be tempted.)
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The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,930
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Dec 23, 2016 0:38:56 GMT
I teach high school.
If a teen in my class still believes in Santa, I've probably ruined it for them. I've used Santa as an example a few times. He's even an option for research in my Mythology course.
I have probably ruined the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy as well.
Sorrynotsorry. ;p
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