When it rains and health update

I think I posted about DD#1, but not sure. She kicked her husband out of (our) house last week. They are planning on going to marriage counseling, but I'm not sure he wants for things to work. So DD and granddaughter, who will be 3 in a month, live with us. I have no idea how she will ever make a living. She doesn't have a GED, even though she is very clever (I'd bet her IQ is about 140). She is also starting to have bipolar disorder symptoms after being fine for years, other than postpartum.

Yesterday while I was in the city seeing my doctor, DD twisted her ankle and actually broke it. She is currently using a boot and crutches, but is zero weight bearing on her left leg, and is supposed to rest it. Granddaughter, Cora, is a very busy kid. So I took care of her a bunch yesterday, and for a couple of hours today. My other DD is chronically ill, and has been particularly bad this last month. She does sometimes pitch in, but I can't count on her.

Because of my IV line, I am not supposed to carry heavy things or do repetitive things like vacuuming and mopping. Now DD can't do it either. Nor can she cook or clean up any mess. The state of this house drives me batty.

I am not any better, physically or emotionally. My differential diagnosis, as of yesterday, is Mast Cell Activation Disorder. Most people with this have very low blood pressure; but there is a small number who have erratic blood pressures, and hypertensive episodes. That's me. Nausea, my absolute worst symptom, is common with this disorder. And it is why my skin flushes so badly. It's like having an allergic reaction, but without the precipitating allergen. It just happens randomly. Doctor started me on Zyrtec daily, Singulair daily, and Zantac twice daily. Different types of antihistimanes that target different types of histamine. I've only done one dose so far, but today I am really ill (dizzy, lightheaded, bad nausea, flushing and very, very depressed). I'm currently getting a bag of IV fluids (at home) to see if it helps. 

This disorder is incurable. The treatment may or may not help. I may never be free of these episodes.

Just found out that my chest CT scan that I had done on Friday showed a new lung nodule. This may well mean my sarcoidosis is coming back to life. Radiologist wants a repeat CT in 6 months.

I can't handle all this. I just can't. I don't have any close friends that live near me. I called my mum last week, before most of this stuff happened, and I was very, very depressed. She told me that she couldn't handle my problems, and ended the conversation. I have no other family of origin living in the US (other than my brother, who refuses to have contact with anyone). Hubby is hugely stressed due to large layoffs at his job on top of all the problems at home. 

I just keep going back to my mother, practically begging her to love me. I'm like a dog who keeps approaching the person who kicks them because they so badly want to be loved. 

I hate my life. I hate being ill almost every day. I hate not seeing an end to this. 

If you actually read all of this, thank you. As many of you know, I'm atheist. But I will gladly accept prayers, good wishes, healing energy or anything else. I am so very desperate.