Helping hoarders recover from the flood?

Wow. How long were you planning on helping them? I'd limit my help to whatever time you were planning to spend anyway and maybe give them a few gift cards for dinner and call it done. You can't really do more.

Hope that doesn't make me sound uncaring. God bless all of the people this terrible storm affected.

It's a shame that they can't see this truly awful disaster as a means to start afresh and get rid of all the junk and clutter. I guess that's the nature of hoarders though isn't it - they just don't see it as junk and clutter. I have someone in my family who would be in the same predicament.

You're very kind to want to try and help them. I wonder if you can go along with them (for now) and try to get all the crap into storage for the time being. Then when things have settled down and the flooding has subsided, you might be able to help them go through all the junk and try to encourage them to get rid of a lot of it. Either that or it will all be mouldy by then! Perhaps if they've lived for a few weeks without the clutter they might realise just how much better off they are.

If it got wet, it goes.

That is very stressful. Do not feel like you need to solve them. You helped as much as you could.

Oh boy, what a mess! I used to have a friend that was a hoarder. The first time I saw her place, I was shocked. I've never been into a hoarder's home before that. She was very upset because her mother was coming to visit and if she saw the house like that, she was going to take custody of this friend's little girl. I worked over there for 4 weekends in a row and it was quite eye opening. She had such difficulty getting rid of anything. All boxes from anything she ever bought were still in this little place. I told her that any box for something with no electronic moving parts went to the trash first, then we needed to determine how old the remaining boxes were. Some of the items were no longer working. She explained that the boxes were to return the item to the store. After 6 years, box or no, they are not taking something back! I did the very best I could, starting in the child's bedroom, making the mom remove everything that didn't belong to the little girl. I sorted, organized, arranged, and had her bedroom looking great.

I forced her to remove about 80% of the crap from the kitchen and living room. She chose to just move it to her backyard area (which was just dirt and bunny holes, and rats everywhere) The floor in her kitchen was filthy. We had bought products to clean it. Before we even so much as swept it, she poured wax on it and was so excited at how shiny it was and how clean it smelled. Ugh. I had to tell her that before she could wax, we needed to sweep off all the dirt and cat food. Then we needed to scrub it good until it became the original color - white. She didn't know it was once white! Finally, I told her to go ahead and wax it.

I guess the visit went well, because the child was still with her after the mom went home. I don't know how many days it was until all the crap was all over everything again. I did beg her to leave the little girl's room alone to give her a place to do her homework and not trip all over boxes. Who knows how it went. I never went back in there again. I didn't want to see it a disaster all over again.

With this family, I don't think you are going to be able to get this place to your standards, no matter what. If they are willing to sit on a wet and soon-to-be moldy couch, and want to hang on to things that were under the floodwater level, I think they are helpless. I guess I would offer to remove it my way, and when that was refused, I'd offer some meal gift certificates and wish them good luck. If they won't let you remove anything? What good is it your being there? Does their insurance cover any of this? If so, I'd recommend they wait for their adjuster to come out. Maybe go ahead and take photos of everything for possible assistance, and then try to talk them into tossing it.

What an already sad situation made worse by this disaster.
You're limited in what you can do, but I think letting your DD's friend stay with you is a perfect way to help.

They will most likely cling to the junk even more because of the stress of the flood. Things will rot and mold. Soon it will go from the category of too much stuff to the filth category. Which is CPS territory.

I don't know what I'd do. If I came in 6 weeks to check, they'd know it was me who called. They may not even let you in by then. I really don't know what I'd do.

But know you cannot help them in the way you want to help them. It's a mental health problem. Like addiction, they need to acknowledge the problem and then decide to seek help themselves.

Maybe you can have the daughter stay at your house for some de-stressing time for her. It's not helping them with the hoarding problem but you are certainly helping. And that also keeps you out of harms way. So sad.

You cannot fix this.  They are not willing to accept help.  Boxes and lunch sound good for them tomorrow.  

Thanks for being a safe place for the daughter.  That's good, she would never have said anything had you not been there to see.

Please don't even bring up CPS.  If you think at some point you need to call, make sure no one knows.  The daughter needs you in her life for now.

Offer the daughter to stay with you and let the parents figure it out?

My mother was a borderline hoarder, seriously almost but not quite. I could easily be but I don't allow it. But once you go over the line from 'I'm almost a hoarder' to full on hoarding stuff on every surface you don't just clean up without mental help. You can't provide that mental help. You will get dragged in and they will get upset and resentful and it will destroy your DD's friendship with the DD.

I validate your decision completely!  

I think you've made a good decision, Merge. You can't fix them.

Good luck.

I think that's about all you can do.  The only other idea that crossed my mind was offer to bring some of her dishes/pans/kitchenware/etc to your house, a box or two at a time and run them through your dishwasher to sanitize them.  I guess if there's anything that could go in the washing machine (towels, clothes, etc) you could offer that too.