fuzzypickle
New Member
Posts: 2
Sept 9, 2017 16:25:56 GMT
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Post by fuzzypickle on Sept 9, 2017 16:37:21 GMT
Thank all of you so much for your prayers and positive thoughts. Still waiting for word on criminal charges. My son is coping. He has good days and bad days but is back at work. As some of you have said, we will never "get over" this but through prayer we will learn to "live with it".
Posting under new name although I am a long time member here. I'm sick with worry. My son and his wife were involved in a car accident and my DIL was killed. I think my son is going to be charged with vehicular manslaughter because he was driving over the speed limit. I'm sick over the loss of DIL and my son is so guilt- ridden we are trying to get him in counseling. We are just waiting to see what is going to happen but as his mother, I don't want him to go to jail. He has to live the remainder of his life with this guilt if it doesn't break him mentally. I'm afraid that criminal charges on top of his grief and guilt are going to destroy him. Anyone had any experience with this? I can't sleep at night I keep going over and over the possibility that his future will be in prison?
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Post by christine58 on Sept 9, 2017 16:39:17 GMT
Deep breath...he might not be charged. When did this happen??? So sorry for your loss.
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Post by leftturnonly on Sept 9, 2017 16:41:33 GMT
{{{Hugs}}}
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kate
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Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Sept 9, 2017 16:41:48 GMT
I have no experience with this, but I just want to say I'm so very sorry for your loss. What a terrible and difficult time for you all.
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Post by kels99 on Sept 9, 2017 16:42:57 GMT
Oh my gosh! I don't have any advice for you, but I am so sorry for your loss. I would be absolutely sick with worry too. Does your son have a lawyer?
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StephDRebel
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Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Sept 9, 2017 16:43:23 GMT
Oh my gracious. I don't know what the process is but I can't imagine your worry. I am praying for you.
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Post by Linda on Sept 9, 2017 16:46:58 GMT
((((Hugs)))) and prayers
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J u l e e
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Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Sept 9, 2017 16:48:17 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss and for your worry on top of that! I have no answer to what you are asking, but wanted you to know I read your post and am hoping you find answers soon.
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Post by pondrunner on Sept 9, 2017 16:49:07 GMT
Vehicular manslaughter requires gross negligence. Simple speeding may not be enough to charge the driver even if it was a contributing factor, it is the gross negligence that makes it a criminal offense. Extreme speed, texting while driving, drunk driving etc. I encourage you to try to focus on your family at this time and support them in any way you can. Obviously there are many more details to this and those make a big difference. But I encourage you to take a deep breath when you get anxious about it - call a lawyer if you feel you may need representation. They can tell you much more about your prospects. But fatal accidents are fairly common, and the drivers aren't always charged.
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fuzzypickle
New Member
Posts: 2
Sept 9, 2017 16:25:56 GMT
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Post by fuzzypickle on Sept 9, 2017 16:50:22 GMT
Yes, he has a lawyer. He has made a mistake, no question about it but he is suffering so much already. I feel like I'm watching him disintegrate in front of my eyes. He is still in shock and has been so brave making funeral arrangements, etc. It has given me such a different perspective on being judgmental of people for making mistakes.
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Post by malibou on Sept 9, 2017 16:53:51 GMT
Oh so very sorry for your loss. Please let the happy memories of her help see you through the terribly difficult days ahead. I will certainly keep all of you who loved her her in my thoughts.
So dreadfully sorry for all your son is enduring. I have no experience, but will set aside a warm safe place in my thoughts for him.
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Post by katlaw on Sept 9, 2017 16:54:21 GMT
I am so sorry. For the loss of your DIL. And the heartbreak your family must be feeling. I would recommend contacting a lawyer now. Get some advice on what he should do and not do at this time. Just because he was driving over the speed limit does not automatically mean charges and the charges could be a lot less than vehicular manslaughter. Depends on other circumstances as well. I would never speak to the police without having a lawyer there right from the beginning.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 1, 2024 6:29:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2017 16:57:14 GMT
I'm so very sorry.
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Post by stingfan on Sept 9, 2017 16:57:26 GMT
Every case is different obviously, so I can only give you my experience...
My BIL was killed in a car accident. He was rear ended by a dump truck. They have all sorts of proof that the truck driver was driving erratically, he didn't brake in time, and he was on his cell phone (Bluetooth). Anyway, the accident investigation took over 6 months. That driver wasn't charged with anything. He didn't even get a traffic/moving violation. As mentioned in a previous post, even with all that evidence, the state felt that they couldn't prove gross negligence.
In our case, we're really upset/angry about this. How is that man not being held responsible in any way?
My real point, though, is that criminal charges are not an inevitability. And I would guess that, especially in a case like yours, the state will be very lenient.
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Post by librarylady on Sept 9, 2017 16:58:44 GMT
My deepest condolences to you and your family.
As someone else mentioned, it depends on details. Gross negligence might result in a charge. If he was speeding a little (not going 90 in a 40 zone) then it may be written up as terrible accident.
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Post by Patter on Sept 9, 2017 17:14:32 GMT
I am SO, SO sorry for your tremendous loss. So glad to read he has a lawyer. Hugs and prayers to your family!
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peabay
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Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Sept 9, 2017 17:17:19 GMT
OMG, how awful. I'm so sorry for you and your family.
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Post by lovinlife on Sept 9, 2017 17:18:40 GMT
I don't have any experience but wanted you to know I am thinking of you, your family and DIL family. Your DIL's family I hope is being supportive of you DS during this time. As difficult as this time is try to focus on family and the rest well deal with it once you know what is going to happen if any charges etc.
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Post by KelleeM on Sept 9, 2017 17:18:56 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope he's not charged. Hugs.
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anniebygaslight
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Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Sept 9, 2017 17:19:36 GMT
I am so sorry x
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Post by mom on Sept 9, 2017 17:20:35 GMT
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.
Without knowing all the facts it will be hard to predict what will happen. Was he going 10 miles over the limit? 50 miles over? Was he drinking/drugs/texting? Did he cooperate with LE when they came to the scene? Did he give a blood sample? Why was he speeding - was he mad at wife, or was he just speeding? Does he have a history with LE? Or is this a first time offense?
Again, without knowing all the facts its hard to predict which way LE will go. Either way, I am so sorry for your loss.
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Julie W
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Jun 27, 2014 22:11:06 GMT
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Post by Julie W on Sept 9, 2017 17:25:13 GMT
No advice, just wanted to offer my prayers. So sorry for the loss of your DIL and what your son is going through.
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janeliz
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Post by janeliz on Sept 9, 2017 17:26:06 GMT
I'm so sad and sorry for you and your family. What a nightmare.
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oaksong
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Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on Sept 9, 2017 17:27:33 GMT
I can't imagine how devastating this must be. I'm so sorry for the loss of your DIL, and hope your son finds strength to get through it all.
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mimima
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Jun 25, 2014 19:25:50 GMT
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Post by mimima on Sept 9, 2017 17:30:13 GMT
Lord Have Mercy. Much love and prayers.
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Post by leannec on Sept 9, 2017 17:30:53 GMT
Hugs to you at this very difficult time ... I would be beside myself!
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joelise
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Jul 1, 2014 6:33:14 GMT
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Post by joelise on Sept 9, 2017 17:36:59 GMT
I'm so sorry, I can't image how you're feeling right now. My heart goes out to you and your son and your DIL's family.
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scrappinghappy
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Jun 26, 2014 19:30:06 GMT
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Post by scrappinghappy on Sept 9, 2017 17:37:19 GMT
No advice on the legal stuff but I do want to say how sorry I am for all you are going through. You and your son should see a grief counselor. This person can help you both.
HUGS
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valincal
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Southern Alberta
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Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
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Post by valincal on Sept 9, 2017 17:42:38 GMT
😢 I'm so sorry for your loss and all your family is dealing with. How heartbreaking.
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Post by burningfeather on Sept 9, 2017 17:44:45 GMT
It must be an incredibly emotional time for everyone.
Vehicular manslaughter is a pretty serious charge and it's unlikely that they would pursue something like that unless there are some really strong circumstances.
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