cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,426 
Location: Fergus, Ontario
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Post by cakediva on Nov 15, 2017 0:51:57 GMT
My brother in law (DH's brother) has been sick for quite some time. He had a degenerative vein disorder (I forget the actual name of it) - my FIL has the same thing and is a double amputee below the knee because of it. BIL had several surgeries to prevent amputation, but in the end, he was in too much pain and things began shutting down on him. We've known since August that he was on a decline. There were other factors leading to his decline as well (all the pain medication took its toll on his liver), but the lack of circulation in his veins was the main issue.
I'm so sad for DH and his family. This isn't right.
Why am I going to hell? Because I'm beyond angry. A useless piece of human that made my brother miserable for the last 10-12 years of their 20 year marriage, constantly made up stories and lied about everything, turned my niece against my brother, and who abused her body every which way (drugs, alcohol, drugs, drugs and more drugs) is still alive. I'm going straight to hell for thinking that, I know.
My BIL was a good man, and in such intense pain, and while he was very much an introvert and we were not close, this was DH's big brother, and he is devastated to have lost him so soon. He was only 56. I am concerned for DH's parents and what this will do to their already fragile health.
Sorry - just venting. I've been in a right foul mood this week (we were all called Thursday to go over to say good-bye and have been on "death watch" since then) - grief can make me a bit angry. I'm also "due" for my annual breakdown that occurs around this time. My Dad has been gone since 2005 and the holiday season usually has me have one of those mental/crying/emotional/angry breakdown days. I really don't want to do that during DH's time of mourning - it is all about him and his family. But I'm insanely irritated this week - and I'm thinking not nice thoughts about my ex-SIL for sure.
So get the handbasket ready - I'm sure the one way trip will be listed on my ticket when I finally punch it one day.
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Post by Belia on Nov 15, 2017 0:54:14 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. 56 is just way, way too young.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Nov 15, 2017 0:57:41 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by FrozenPea on Nov 15, 2017 0:59:04 GMT
I am sorry for your loss. And I don't blame you. I would be mad as hell too! Hugs to you.
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Sue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,234
Location: SE of Portland, Oregon
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Post by Sue on Nov 15, 2017 1:00:38 GMT
I'm so very sorry. Please accept my sincere condolences for you, your dear husband and your in-laws. Such a difficult time of year to experience these terrible losses.
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,698
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Nov 15, 2017 1:00:40 GMT
I am so very sorry for the loss of your BIL. You have every right to be angry. Go outside, where there are trees and no people. SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN  |
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
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Post by Mystie on Nov 15, 2017 1:00:51 GMT
I'm really sorry. I understand that feeling when a good person you care about is suffering or dying and you look around at all the assholes just living long lives. It certainly doesn't seem fair. I hope you and your husband can find some joyful times together this holiday season.
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AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,057
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Post by AllieC on Nov 15, 2017 1:03:14 GMT
I am so sorry. It really does seem unfair when others abuse their bodies. Your emotions are understandable. Thinking of you and your husbands family x
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Post by stampnscrap1128 on Nov 15, 2017 1:21:19 GMT
I am so sorry. I understand and empathize with that anger. A lifelong friend lost her dh suddenly a couple of weeks ago. The guy was her soulmate and treated her and the kids so well. Her first husband was the one who beat her and molested their daughters. That asshat is still alive and the great guy is gone. If there is a heaven and if I get there, God and I are going to have a long talk about the unfairness of it all.
Big hugs of comfort to your family and you!
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,729
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Post by purplebee on Nov 15, 2017 1:21:38 GMT
So so sorry for you and your Dh and family. Sounds like your anger is entirely justified. Hugs....
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ModChick
Drama Llama
True North Strong and Free
Posts: 5,060
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Post by ModChick on Nov 15, 2017 1:24:38 GMT
I am so sorry. Hugs
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Post by craftedbys on Nov 15, 2017 1:26:27 GMT
Sorry for you loss and I completely understand the anger you feel. Be gentle with yourself, even though you might feel DH's feelings/needs need to come first, you also need to pay attention to your feelings/needs and take care of yourself as well.
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Post by auntkelly on Nov 15, 2017 1:29:23 GMT
I’m sorry for your loss.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 5, 2024 20:59:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2017 1:32:52 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.  |
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Post by yivit on Nov 15, 2017 1:43:42 GMT
I'm so sorry for your family's loss.
I'll go look for a sale on handbaskets, because I'm pretty sure I'm going to need one too. The evil witch that married my dad after my mom died passed away a few weeks ago. That (insert ALL the bad words) got to outlive my dad and my grandma out of sheer meanness. And now I have to hustle to figure out how to get the house (my DAD'S house, not theirs together - it's in his name and he bought it when I was 3) out of limbo because she wouldn't probate (but now that 1/3 of the house that was hers with right to live in the rest of her life reverts to me and my 3 siblings, not passed on to HER 3 kids, so take THAT you (more bad words) who sucked my dad dry).
No, I'm not bitter.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Nov 15, 2017 1:45:00 GMT
You aren't a terrible person. You are grieving. I think these feelings are normal and valid.
I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Wishing you all peace and comfort in the days ahead.
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River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,508
Location: Alabama
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Nov 15, 2017 1:52:47 GMT
I'm so very sorry for your loss! I understand your anger, I've felt it myself when loosing my dad.
Hugs to you and your family as you go through the upcoming holidays.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Nov 15, 2017 2:00:07 GMT
Life is supremely unfair. And while we know that in our heads, it still hurts our hearts when we come face to face with it like that. You are simply human for thinking like you do. Please accept my sympathies for your loss.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,963
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Post by Nanner on Nov 15, 2017 2:02:05 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss.
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Post by refugeepea on Nov 15, 2017 2:02:42 GMT
Anger is part of the grieving process. I was beyond pissed when my dad died suddenly and it seemed like most people were like he's in a better place, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Don't worry, you'll get to full out tears soon. ((hugs))
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Post by jackietex on Nov 15, 2017 2:13:31 GMT
I'm so sorry for you and your family! I don't know your faith background, but I find comfort as a Christian knowing that Jesus felt all the same feelings and understands them. He can also handle us being angry at Him. Your feelings are natural and understandable.
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Post by gillyp on Nov 15, 2017 2:27:26 GMT
I’m so sorry to read your post and send my condolences to you and your family. I get your anger. :hug:
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,825
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Post by teddyw on Nov 15, 2017 2:35:08 GMT
So sorry for your family’s loss. It does seem really unfair.
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Post by scrappykimba on Nov 15, 2017 2:38:24 GMT
I am sorry for your loss  I will meet you at the gate  |
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,626
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Post by valincal on Nov 15, 2017 2:47:13 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. My condolences.
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,017
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Post by mimima on Nov 15, 2017 3:31:38 GMT
I'm so sorry. Memory Eternal
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Post by mom on Nov 15, 2017 3:33:54 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. I do believe, through, karma will come back to those who are cause others so much heartache.
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Post by anniefb on Nov 15, 2017 4:38:11 GMT
So sorry for your loss.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 15, 2017 4:44:52 GMT
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. 56 is way, WAY too young!  |
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
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Post by LeaP on Nov 15, 2017 4:59:28 GMT
{{{Hugs}}} I am sorry for your loss and for your in-law's loss. Nothing is worse than losing a child.
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I will meet you at the gate 
