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Post by paperaddict on Jan 17, 2018 9:55:06 GMT
Do you ever miss friendships that you had in high school? My fiance has a friend he has known since elementary school...me on the other hand, don't even have a friend I have known since university. I moved away from my hometown to go to graduate school and lost contact with most of my friends. I can get in contact with a couple of my high school friends but each time I do, I realize how much I don't know about them and how we do ; have much in common anymore. I miss friendships or friends who no longer exists. I am always envious of people who have been friends since childhood.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 5, 2024 11:13:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2018 11:26:22 GMT
Do you ever miss friendships that you had in high school? My fiance has a friend he has known since elementary school...me on the other hand, don't even have a friend I have known since university. I moved away from my hometown to go to graduate school and lost contact with most of my friends. I can get in contact with a couple of my high school friends but each time I do, I realize how much I don't know about them and how we do ; have much in common anymore. I miss friendships or friends who no longer exists. I am always envious of people who have been friends since childhood. No. I'm pretty much a people tend to come and go type person and I don't regret those people that I've lost touch with. I have some of them on FB and realise I have nothing in common with them other than the fact we went to school together, life moves on and envy is a waste of time. Did my response come over badly? I'm unsure if it makes me sounds like a raging bitch!
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Post by paperaddict on Jan 17, 2018 12:03:52 GMT
No, it did not come over badly....I think I just feeling a bit blue.
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dawnnikol
Prolific Pea
'A life without books is a life not lived.' Jay Kristoff
Posts: 7,876
Sept 21, 2015 18:39:25 GMT
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Post by dawnnikol on Jan 17, 2018 12:24:19 GMT
I am always envious of people who have been friends since childhood. I understand that feeling. I don't even like most people but understand that feeling. I left the place I went to high school and never looked back. I tried to connect when Facebook started but it was more annoying to me than anything, so I would de-friend them, but every now and then I'll think about someone from my past.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Jan 17, 2018 12:29:36 GMT
Nope.
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keithurbanlovinpea
Pearl Clutcher
Flowing with the go...
Posts: 4,260
Jun 29, 2014 3:29:30 GMT
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Jan 17, 2018 12:29:45 GMT
Do you ever miss friendships that you had in high school? My fiance has a friend he has known since elementary school...me on the other hand, don't even have a friend I have known since university. I moved away from my hometown to go to graduate school and lost contact with most of my friends. I can get in contact with a couple of my high school friends but each time I do, I realize how much I don't know about them and how we do ; have much in common anymore. I miss friendships or friends who no longer exists. I am always envious of people who have been friends since childhood. No. I'm pretty much a people tend to come and go type person and I don't regret those people that I've lost touch with. I have some of them on FB and realise I have nothing in common with them other than the fact we went to school together, life moves on and envy is a waste of time. Did my response come over badly? I'm unsure if it makes me sounds like a raging bitch! This is me. Well, hopefully not the raging bitch part. LOL I am very comfortable with the "life moves on" mentality. People were in my life for a reason at that time, and there is a reason they are no longer in my life. I like to think it is because I have evolved into the person I was meant to become and they have as well, and we no longer have as much in common, and that's ok. I think it is great if people can be friends for many, many years, but if friendships don't last it doesn't reflect poorly on anyone. It's just life. I will say though, that I have been through a couple of major life changes and it can be difficult for old friends to "move" into the new life with you. In my case for example, I had a group of friends pre-divorce that I basically lost after the divorce because we no longer had major life constants in common. I was sad about it, but I mourned those relationships and moved on.
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Post by Jamie on Jan 17, 2018 12:46:18 GMT
I do. There are a handful of people that I would love to be back in contact with. I contacted my bf through HS a few years ago and we talked a few times on the phone, but she is so busy with 4 kids and had just gone through a divorce, that we just could never make it happen.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,962
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Jan 17, 2018 12:54:55 GMT
I had lost touch with one of my best friends from school more than 25 years ago. We reconnected about 4 years ago and spent several hours on the phone one night. It was like those 25 years had never happened. Her daughter now lives in my town and she visits sometimes. We always get together when she visits and her visits always make me happy.
My best friend as an adult has been my friend for 35 years.
I cherish old friendships.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 5, 2024 11:13:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2018 13:04:51 GMT
I do envy those with childhood friends but I realize that my friendships seem to be more fragile (maybe?) and were never really strong enough to withstand all of life's changes. Had those relationships been less fragile they would have withstood the changes in life but they didn't. Usually there is a good reason they didn't survive into my current life so instead of being blue about it I try to see the blessing they were at the time and the blessing it is that I"m not needing to deal with the drama they would be bringing into my life today.
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tuesdaysgone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,832
Jun 26, 2014 18:26:03 GMT
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Jan 17, 2018 13:17:34 GMT
I've lost touch with high school friends but I've maintained a very close friendship with 5 girls from college days and even now, 30+ years out of college, their friendships are the closest and most treasured in my life.
Although we scattered to different parts of the country, we always stayed in touch after college. We maintain contact with texting & calling and we still get together for a long weekend nearly every year. I've had several good friendships over the years, but nothing even close to the connections I have with these dear friends from my 20s.
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Post by destined2bmom on Jan 17, 2018 13:51:33 GMT
I still have several friends from childhood and high school. I have moved from the northeast to the southwest to the west and now back to the east coast. We talk all the time on the phone and I have gotten together with two in the last 6 months. Like someone said, you may not talk for a period of time and when you pick up the phone; it’s like you just talked yesterday.
But I also have friends from different times in my life since I left high school and college. I also cherish those friendships. I am a people lover; so I try to see the good in everyone and help when I can.
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Post by myboysnme on Jan 17, 2018 14:05:46 GMT
I do miss old friendships and do wish I had a dear old friend who has always known me. Heck, I haven't spoken to my sister in years so it's unlikely a friendship could have survived.
That's why I like Christmas cards. Once a year we catch up, let each other know we think of one another and are glad for that time we were together. Many friends I just want to have Christmas card friendships with now.
The friends I have lost that I miss slipped out of my life with no rhyme or reason why. I wish I had closure with them. What happened that they moved on from me? I can make good guesses, but just having friends drop out of your life leaves unfinished business.
As I posted in a thread yesterday. I really just want to check in from time to time, not maintain anything like we used to.
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Post by peasapie on Jan 17, 2018 14:28:54 GMT
I’m blessed to have my childhood best friend still very close. She’s so easygoing that she makes it easy, and she has quite a few friends in her life for that reason.
She and I have discussed friendships many times over the years and agree that if it is important you make it a priority to call, text, and get together. Once too much time has passed, it’s harder to rekindle because you lose the common bonds.
When I become wistful for past loves or former friendships, I realize I’m just looking at the past through rosy glasses and only remembering the good times. I have two very close friends that I didn’t meet until my 40s. Like me, they value friendship and make a point of honoring it by staying in touch regularly. Your fiancé may have been blessed with finding a kindred spirit at an early age, but yours is still out there.
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Post by buddysmom on Jan 17, 2018 15:19:27 GMT
I have a BFF that I had last seen in 1985 and then saw in 2015--thirty years!
We've been friends since third grade.
It was as if time stood still. We talked and talked for four hours at a restaurant.
Luckily it wasn't busy so we weren't keeping anyone from getting a table.
It was so good!
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marimoose
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,282
Jul 22, 2014 2:10:14 GMT
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Post by marimoose on Jan 17, 2018 15:57:26 GMT
There are times that I am wistful for past friendships or envious of those who have childhood or even high school friends as adults. That could not have been me because I was a military brat, moving every few years. I moved to a new HS my senior year and the friends I made were sophomores because I was new like them. I have found a few friends from my childhood on FB and it is neat to see how they grew up but it isn't likely that we will ever meet up. Honestly there is only one that I might like to see at some point but states separate us. And then as an adult I was so busy raising my 4 kids that it was difficult to foster any long term friendships, more acquaintances. I have one other friend I worked with and I was her Maid of Honor 30 years ago and just reconnected, again via FB, and we both hope to make plans to meet in person the future. Again, states divide us. Speaking to her is like time stood still. Dang, now I really want to make that trip sooner than later.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 17, 2018 16:13:34 GMT
Grade school? Nope. I barely had any friends in grade school. High school? Nope. Most of them went on to make some very bad life choices that I would have a hard time not keeping my mouth shut about so it’s just as well that we’re not friends anymore. As a college student I was already married, was older than most of my classmates by a good 6-7 years and was a commuter so I didn’t make a lot of deep friendships there either.
I also don’t miss most of my adult friendships that I’ve either lost track of or let go on purpose. I’m (mostly) glad I had those people in my life when I did, but either my life or theirs has moved on in different directions and we just don’t fit anymore. I guess that’s why there is absolutely no pull for me to be on Facebook, I have no desire to connect my present with my past. The longtime friends that are in my life now are there for a reason, and both sides work equally hard to keep that bond strong. Friendship has to be a two way street or it just doesn’t work for me.
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Post by mom on Jan 17, 2018 16:23:17 GMT
Growing up I moved around a bunch - every couple of years - so I didn't form the strong friendship bonds until I was about 16. But at 16, I met a girl named Lori on my first day of a new school for my 10th grade year. She has become a lifelong friend (we are at 20 years together this year!). We live about 80 miles apart but we make a point to see each other about once a month and we text weekly.
For awhile though, we did not see each other. It was right after my daughter passed and my friend was pregnant. And it just hurt so much to be around her, seeing her happy and with her new baby. I so wish I could have been a better friend, but I needed space. And she gave it to me. It took about 2 years for me work through my grief, but once I did, she was there waiting for me.
I treasure her so much. As an adult, I have another friend (Sarah) who I have been close to for about 7 years. But our bond isn't like it is with Lori. Maybe with time, it will be. I don't know. Lori and I have been broke together, an unwed mother, divorced, through kids, miscarriages and infant loss. She was there when my DH proposed to me. She is the person I call when the $hit hits the fan. I have no doubt we will be old and still close.
I have other friends, but we are not close like I am with Lori and Sarah. Those two are my 'ride or die' girls.
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Post by Really Red on Jan 17, 2018 16:35:44 GMT
Yup. I validate you. I think it's pretty incredible to have a friend who has known you forever. I see why that makes you sad
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Post by auntkelly on Jan 17, 2018 16:41:57 GMT
I have four friends that I have known my entire life and still consider to be close friends. I know they would be there for me if I needed them and they know I will always be there for them. We try and get together about once a year or so, and we always pick right up where we left off. We grew up in a small town, so I think that makes it much easier for us to stay in touch, even though three of us left our hometown over 30 years ago and haven't lived there since.
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imsirius
Prolific Pea
Call it as I see it.
Posts: 7,661
Location: Floating in the black veil.
Jul 12, 2014 19:59:28 GMT
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Post by imsirius on Jan 17, 2018 16:51:34 GMT
I have 2 friend who I am close to from elementary school and 2 from high school. The 5 of us were inseparable in high school and we have maintained our friendships all these years. 2 live in England and 1 in Michigan, but we meet up every 2 years (all five of us). It's like time has never passed. These girls get me, know me and I love them. We all talk via Skype and messenger frequently.
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Post by Rainy_Day_Woman on Jan 17, 2018 17:02:29 GMT
I am still friends with many of my high school friends. I am 35, so I guess it's been around 20 years. I have two friends though that I met in elementary school that I miss very much. We just drifted apart in high school and leaving for university, nothing really happened but circumstance. Neither are into social media so there isn't the casual reacquaintance there. One is seriously the most un-google-able man I have ever met. I have no idea how working people our age manage to have *nothing* on the internet about them. I would love to see them again at some point.
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Post by Saff on Jan 17, 2018 17:15:55 GMT
My dh has a friend since schooldays. I met him before we all got married. He divorced his first wife and remarried. The 2 guys remain friends throughout the years and I am friends with his now wife. It is not a real friendship as in confiding in each other but we are friendly. She is the friend I have known the longest and we get on well.
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Post by Fidget on Jan 17, 2018 17:23:21 GMT
Yes! My best friend from down the street - we've known each other since we were 8. We married brothers so we're related now. She's the best! I have several other friends who I grew up and went to Elementary and high school with who I still keep in touch with. Some I only see once or twice a year while others I see regularly. These friendships are not renewed via social media they are friendships that have stayed intact for over 45 years.
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Anita
Drama Llama
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Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on Jan 17, 2018 17:26:34 GMT
I've known my best friend since Kindergarten. We became best friends in third grade. We email every single day. She is the only one I keep in real contact with, although a lot of high school "friends" are on my Facebook. I did recently reconnect with a friend I hadn't seen since she moved away after our Freshman year, and it was like no time had passed at all. It's funny how those old friendships work.
But I have also had a lot of friendships along the way that fizzled out, and I am sometimes wistful about it, but I think that's just the way life is. People show up in our lives when we need them and sometimes they don't stay.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Jan 17, 2018 17:50:37 GMT
I moved so much growing up and then joined the military, so long term close relationships were a struggle. I have been married 27 years so it’s possible for me to maintain a relationship! 😊 I’m closest to my ex-SIL since we both married into a strangely dysfunctional family. She divorced out of the family almost 20 years ago and we reconnected when we moved close(r) to her 12 years ago. There’s something reassuring about talking to someone (other than DH) who knows your past because they were there too.
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Post by ajsweetpea on Jan 17, 2018 17:57:18 GMT
No, I don't. I am in touch with a few people from high school (one is the best friend I could have asked for!), but I feel overall I've made better and stronger friendships with people since then. I don't really look back and wish I had stayed in touch with more people. I love and am grateful for the friends I have now. I couldn't ask for more!
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River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,508
Location: Alabama
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Jan 17, 2018 18:11:07 GMT
Yes I do miss my best friend from high school. We were inseparable all through middle and high school and for 2 years after high school. She then got married and completely changed, got hooked on drugs and went down hill fast. I had to make the choice to continue my life, go to college and leave her behind. She was just too toxic to stay in my life. I'm friends with her on facebook but she has never pulled her self out of drugs.
We had a guy best friend that hung with us all the time. He moved to California right after high school to pursue his dream of doing special effects makeup for horror movies. He hit big and is now very successful. He came back to our small home town a few months ago and did a signing. I went to the signing and as soon as he saw me come in the door, he took a long break to chat with me. We picked up right where we left off and talk weekly now, though he's back in California working on a new movie.
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 17, 2018 18:30:18 GMT
There is something really special about staying friends with people who have known you pretty much forever. DH and I both have friends that go back to elementary school. With my 3 girlfriends, we made a commitment to get together at least one weekend a year when we all started moving in separate directions after college. In 30+ years I have only missed one annual weekend. Since turning 50, we also do a girlfriends trip (or 2) every year.
DH moved just before starting HS and has another group of friends from those years. A few years ago, after reuniting for the second funeral in two years, they started an annual golf trip because they didn't want their next get together to be another funeral.
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Post by pierkiss on Jan 17, 2018 18:41:57 GMT
Sometimes yes. But then I remember that those people are not still in my life for very specific reasons.
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Post by thracian on Jan 17, 2018 18:55:31 GMT
I do every now and then. In particular, I think of a college roommate. We were terrific friends at the time, but when I came home after graduate school, we tried to get together again and it just didn't work. We went shopping and then to lunch, and then neither of us called the other again. It was draining to be with her. When I think of her, I miss the friendship we had but know we can't get it back.
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