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Post by papersilly on Jan 17, 2018 19:04:07 GMT
Do you ever miss friendships that you had in high school? My fiance has a friend he has known since elementary school...me on the other hand, don't even have a friend I have known since university. I moved away from my hometown to go to graduate school and lost contact with most of my friends. I can get in contact with a couple of my high school friends but each time I do, I realize how much I don't know about them and how we do ; have much in common anymore. I miss friendships or friends who no longer exists. I am always envious of people who have been friends since childhood. No. I'm pretty much a people tend to come and go type person and I don't regret those people that I've lost touch with. I have some of them on FB and realise I have nothing in common with them other than the fact we went to school together, life moves on and envy is a waste of time. Did my response come over badly? I'm unsure if it makes me sounds like a raging bitch! your response did not come over badly at all because that's exactly what i think too!! i believe there are friendships that can exist only for a certain time whether it's for a month, a year, or decades. they are not meant to last forever but, in that time, they are good or perfect or needed. your observation about FB friends is so true too. i have some of them who i spent all of middle and high school with and seemed like i had everything in common with back then. now that we are older, all we have are the shared experiences of the past.
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Post by refugeepea on Jan 17, 2018 19:32:35 GMT
I don't know. Life just happens. I don't have it in me to retain friendships. I've honestly tried thinking of a way to cut ties completely, but my one friend (since Kindergarten) always makes plans for us. I even tried avoiding them for a year, but they noticed! It's one of those situations where it's me, not them. I think for a real friendship to work you need to reciprocate and I can't do that right now and don't see how I can in the foreseeable future. For them, it's a chance to get away and do something fun. For me, it's too much work making arrangements in order to make it happen. I'd rather read a book at this point in my life.
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Post by ghislaine on Jan 17, 2018 19:58:03 GMT
As wistful as I might be, wishing my elementary school friends had stayed friends, my relationship with them started falling apart in high school. We weren't great at keeping touch during college or after. By the time I had the chance to hang out with any of them it was really awkward. Even now, I'll think I have a great friend and something in their life changes, usually a divorce, and the friendship just fizzles.
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Post by chlerbie on Jan 17, 2018 20:18:02 GMT
I moved from Ohio to Massachusetts, so it's tough to maintain the friendships that I had and I do miss them--though I've also come to realize that we're now very different people and would perhaps not be as good of friends as we once were, in some cases. I do enjoy keeping up with them on Facebook and getting to see some of them when I visit home. I've also lost some good friends that I've made here. We sort of just drifted awa and I do miss them. And because of that, it makes me insecure about the friends I do have now.
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Post by ladytrisha on Jan 17, 2018 20:28:08 GMT
We tried reconnecting with my hubby's best friend in HS (and our best man). Apparently we all changed quite a bit and we had NOTHING in common. We literally went from planning a reunion BBQ to my husband informing me he'd blocked him from everything. Apparently his former bestie (who was a career sheriff) was also a blatant racist and posted disgusting things on his FB page. Hubby said "and no" - he has no idea what changed his friend and what shaped his new views, but he wasn't having it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 5, 2024 17:00:54 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2018 21:27:45 GMT
Have a bff from elementary school. (62 years ago) We went to same church and nursing school together. So we have a lot in common. She is also very supportive and a people pleaser. We text every day. Her health is poor and I have to know she's ok.
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Post by paperaddict on Jan 18, 2018 11:27:43 GMT
I realize that I'm envious of people who have longtime friendships because I think I am a bad friend or have high expectations of friends. I have had three close friends who "ghosted" me out of their lives...no closures. Also one, who I have been friends with for over 12 years, who just stopped returning any of my phone calls, and emails. I had an ex-boyfriend who broke up with me because "I was too much to handle" because I was dealing with my depression. I have to wonder how good a friend I really am. Thanks for reading this.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 18, 2018 15:53:40 GMT
I am still friends with many of my high school friends. I am 35, so I guess it's been around 20 years. I have two friends though that I met in elementary school that I miss very much. We just drifted apart in high school and leaving for university, nothing really happened but circumstance. Neither are into social media so there isn't the casual reacquaintance there. One is seriously the most un-google-able man I have ever met. I have no idea how working people our age manage to have *nothing* on the internet about them. I would love to see them again at some point. My guess is that it’s intentional. It’s the people who don’t actively work at having those optional profiles and records removed that have their business all over the web.
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Post by lancermom on Jan 18, 2018 19:48:22 GMT
Growing up I moved around a bunch - every couple of years - so I didn't form the strong friendship bonds until I was about 16. But at 16, I met a girl named Lori on my first day of a new school for my 10th grade year. She has become a lifelong friend (we are at 20 years together this year!). We live about 80 miles apart but we make a point to see each other about once a month and we text weekly. For awhile though, we did not see each other. It was right after my daughter passed and my friend was pregnant. And it just hurt so much to be around her, seeing her happy and with her new baby. I so wish I could have been a better friend, but I needed space. And she gave it to me. It took about 2 years for me work through my grief, but once I did, she was there waiting for me. I treasure her so much. As an adult, I have another friend (Sarah) who I have been close to for about 7 years. But our bond isn't like it is with Lori. Maybe with time, it will be. I don't know. Lori and I have been broke together, an unwed mother, divorced, through kids, miscarriages and infant loss. She was there when my DH proposed to me. She is the person I call when the $hit hits the fan. I have no doubt we will be old and still close. I have other friends, but we are not close like I am with Lori and Sarah. Those two are my 'ride or die' girls. I could have written that post! I met my current BFF after moving every 3-4 years. (In 10th grade) She is still my best friend today. She was with me when I met my DH. We did part ways fir a few years. Her oldest is 12 my youngest is almost 17. Now her kids are older, mine are moving out, but we are still close. About ten years ago, I met her college room mate, we have become close. Not as close as my dearest, but still really good friends. I too think people come and go for reasons. But, I also like having that one person. She gets me and my weird humor, and I help bring her to reality!
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Post by anniefb on Jan 18, 2018 22:37:33 GMT
I still have a couple of friends from High School days - we've known each other 42 years now and I do feel like we've basically known each other forever. We haven't always been in close contact but when we get together, we always pick up from where we left off.
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Post by scrappintoee on Jan 19, 2018 5:42:20 GMT
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jan 19, 2018 10:15:44 GMT
Sometimes I miss people that I had friendships with, but for one reason or another they drifted out of my life.
I lost the remainder of my high school friends when my first dh left me. It was easier for them to side with the independent military member that was still free to go out and have fun, than to side with the suddenly unemployed single mother who was just barely treading water.
And just this year I decided to let go of a friendship that I made at a place I used to work. For more than a year I would try to set up time and place for us to hang out, have coffee, etc, and she'd cancel last second every time. I finally just got tired of feeling unimportant. No big blowout, I just stopped emailing and texting. She hasn't reached out either.
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Post by paperaddict on Jan 19, 2018 10:46:32 GMT
Thanks for the hugs scrapintoee.
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Post by paperaddict on Jan 19, 2018 10:57:39 GMT
Sorry to hear about your friendship with a co-worker, LavenderLayoutLady. Especially, the non-supportive friends, who were not there after your divorce from your husband. I am learning to let go of people, who don't make any effort in friendships. I have been a "people pleaser" for most of my life so it is hard to let go of friends, who I no longer have anything in common with anymore, and not to blame myself for the ends of them. Also, I, agree that with the peas that sometimes, life changes, and people move out of your life.
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