Missing old friendships

Nope.

I do. There are a handful of people that I would love to be back in contact with. I contacted my bf through HS a few years ago and we talked a few times on the phone, but she is so busy with 4 kids and had just gone through a divorce, that we just could never make it happen.

I do envy those with childhood friends but I realize that my friendships seem to be more fragile (maybe?) and were never really strong enough to withstand all of life's changes. Had those relationships been less fragile they would have withstood the changes in life but they didn't. Usually there is a good reason they didn't survive into my current life so instead of being blue about it I try to see the blessing they were at the time and the blessing it is that I"m not needing to deal with the drama they would be bringing into my life today.

I still have several friends from childhood and high school. I have moved from the northeast to the southwest to the west and now back to the east coast. We talk all the time on the phone and I have gotten together with two in the last 6 months. Like someone said, you may not talk for a period of time and when you pick up the phone; it’s like you just talked yesterday.

But I also have friends from different times in my life since I left high school and college. I also cherish those friendships. I am a people lover; so I try to see the good in everyone and help when I can.

I’m blessed to have my childhood best friend still very close. She’s so easygoing that she makes it easy, and she has quite a few friends in her life for that reason.

She and I have discussed friendships many times over the years and agree that if it is important you make it a priority to call, text, and get together. Once too much time has passed, it’s harder to rekindle because you lose the common bonds.

When I become wistful for past loves or former friendships, I realize I’m just looking at the past through rosy glasses and only remembering the good times. I have two very close friends that I didn’t meet until my 40s. Like me, they value friendship and make a point of honoring it by staying in touch regularly. Your fiancé may have been blessed with finding a kindred spirit at an early age, but yours is still out there.

There are times that I am wistful for past friendships or envious of those who have childhood or even high school friends as adults. That could not have been me because I was a military brat, moving every few years. I moved to a new HS my senior year and the friends I made were sophomores because I was new like them. I have found a few friends from my childhood on FB and it is neat to see how they grew up but it isn't likely that we will ever meet up. Honestly there is only one that I might like to see at some point but states separate us. And then as an adult I was so busy raising my 4 kids that it was difficult to foster any long term friendships, more acquaintances. I have one other friend I worked with and I was her Maid of Honor 30 years ago and just reconnected, again via FB, and we both hope to make plans to meet in person the future. Again, states divide us. Speaking to her is like time stood still. Dang, now I really want to make that trip sooner than later.

Growing up I moved around a bunch - every couple of years - so I didn't form the strong friendship bonds until I was about 16. But at 16, I met a girl named Lori on my first day of a new school for my 10th grade year. She has become a lifelong friend (we are at 20 years together this year!). We live about 80 miles apart but we make a point to see each other about once a month and we text weekly.

For awhile though, we did not see each other. It was right after my daughter passed and my friend was pregnant. And it just hurt so much to be around her, seeing her happy and with her new baby. I so wish I could have been a better friend, but I needed space. And she gave it to me. It took about 2 years for me work through my grief, but once I did, she was there waiting for me.

I treasure her so much. As an adult, I have another friend (Sarah) who I have been close to for about 7 years. But our bond isn't like it is with Lori. Maybe with time, it will be. I don't know. Lori and I have been broke together, an unwed mother, divorced, through kids, miscarriages and infant loss. She was there when my DH proposed to me. She is the person I call when the $hit hits the fan. I have no doubt we will be old and still close.

I have other friends, but we are not close like I am with Lori and Sarah. Those two are my 'ride or die' girls.

I have four friends that I have known my entire life and still consider to be close friends. I know they would be there for me if I needed them and they know I will always be there for them. We try and get together about once a year or so, and we always pick right up where we left off. We grew up in a small town, so I think that makes it much easier for us to stay in touch, even though three of us left our hometown over 30 years ago and haven't lived there since.

I am still friends with many of my high school friends. I am 35, so I guess it's been around 20 years.

I have two friends though that I met in elementary school that I miss very much. We just drifted apart in high school and leaving for university, nothing really happened but circumstance.

Neither are into social media so there isn't the casual reacquaintance there. One is seriously the most un-google-able man I have ever met. I have no idea how working people our age manage to have *nothing* on the internet about them.

I would love to see them again at some point.

Yes! My best friend from down the street - we've known each other since we were 8. We married brothers so we're related now. She's the best! I have several other friends who I grew up and went to Elementary and high school with who I still keep in touch with. Some I only see once or twice a year while others I see regularly. These friendships are not renewed via social media they are friendships that have stayed intact for over 45 years.

I moved so much growing up and then joined the military, so long term close relationships were a struggle. I have been married 27 years so it’s possible for me to maintain a relationship! 😊 I’m closest to my ex-SIL since we both married into a strangely dysfunctional family. She divorced out of the family almost 20 years ago and we reconnected when we moved close(r) to her 12 years ago. There’s something reassuring about talking to someone (other than DH) who knows your past because they were there too.

Yes I do miss my best friend from high school. We were inseparable all through middle and high school and for 2 years after high school. She then got married and completely changed, got hooked on drugs and went down hill fast. I had to make the choice to continue my life, go to college and leave her behind. She was just too toxic to stay in my life. I'm friends with her on facebook but she has never pulled her self out of drugs.

We had a guy best friend that hung with us all the time. He moved to California right after high school to pursue his dream of doing special effects makeup for horror movies. He hit big and is now very successful. He came back to our small home town a few months ago and did a signing. I went to the signing and as soon as he saw me come in the door, he took a long break to chat with me. We picked up right where we left off and talk weekly now, though he's back in California working on a new movie.

Sometimes yes. But then I remember that those people are not still in my life for very specific reasons.