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Post by mamakoala on Apr 28, 2018 13:29:20 GMT
UPDATE ON PAGE 2
HI all. i dont post on here often but hope you can give me some kind advice regarding my dog. He's a rescue, a jack russel mix. He's very high strung, a fear biter, loving to those he knows but not trustworthy around strangers, particularly men.
Yesterday, he bit the postman for the second time. He wiggled out of the house. THe first time he did this, my husband did not have him on a lease, and despite me telling him the importance of a leash, he still refuses to use one. My son has taken after this habit as well. But regardless, we live on 2 1/2 acreas and the likelihood that he could get out of the house is high--just too many doors, we live in florida, kids in and out of the house.
I love this dog desperately. We've had him for 4 years. In that time he has been to a behavooral therapist, been on multiple drugs (now he's on proxac) and I am constantly weorried that he will bite someone. We have to be very careful around repairmen, have him leashed etc. SInce i am the only one who is reliable about doing this, it makes life difficult.
I am very, very nervous that he will hurt someone severely the next time. He only has nipped both postmen, but the second time they requested vaccinations so i know it could not have just been a light graze. I wasn't home when it happened (I wasn't home either time) but I am completely freaked out.
So.
I think i need to put him down. One friend says "rehome him" but how is that fair? to give someone a dog like him--and who would take him anyway? I volunteer at the humane society and was told there that a dog like him would never have made him to the adoption room--too risky. We have liabiity issues to think about too.
Plus, I am just constantly worried about huim. We can't take him to the beach, we can't take him out, we have to be very careful with strangers etc.
I dont know what to do. I know this post is a mess and garbled but I am a mess too right now.
Can you give me some kind advice?
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Apr 28, 2018 13:34:12 GMT
I don’t know if this is possible, but I have always wondered if those invisible fence things could be wrapped around the perimeter of a house to keep a dog inside.
I hope you find a solution.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 13:29:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2018 13:35:04 GMT
I'm so sorry but I think he should be put down. He's a disaster waiting to happen (small child, another dog etc).
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Post by mamakoala on Apr 28, 2018 13:35:52 GMT
I don’t know if this is possible, but I have always wondered if those invisible fence things could be wrapped around the perimeter of a house to keep a dog inside. I hope you find a solution. we have so much property it would be impossible. plus, the postmen and repairmen come ON to our property--so that wouldn't help. He doesn't often get off the property. And sometimes people come when i am not home, and my family and kids are not reliable about watchign him in those instances. So i am constantly worried. |
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Post by pattyraindrops on Apr 28, 2018 13:36:52 GMT
I can't give advice but I can tell how much mych love him. I hope you find a solution and that others are kind to you. Hugs.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Apr 28, 2018 13:39:16 GMT
I don’t know if this is possible, but I have always wondered if those invisible fence things could be wrapped around the perimeter of a house to keep a dog inside. I hope you find a solution. we have so much property it would be impossible. plus, the postmen and repairmen come ON to our property--so that wouldn't help. He doesn't often get off the property. And sometimes people come when i am not home, and my family and kids are not reliable about watchign him in those instances. So i am constantly worried. I mean the house or very close to the house itself. Not the yard. I just remembered that when we first got our shelties as puppies, we put a child safety gate at the front door, between the big door and screen. We live on a busy street. We just stepped over it, but the puppies stayed in the house. |
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,372
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Apr 28, 2018 13:39:32 GMT
I'm sorry. When my children were little, we had a dog like that. I had to keep her on a leash at all times, could not just let her out. She was a pit bull mix. We did not know that when we got her as a puppy.
Long story short, she bit several people, including my youngest DD (the only one who had to have stitches). One day, she was outside by herself (on a horse tether, like a long leash) when the neighbor's dog came in our yard. She was so fierce that she snapped the tether and attacked the dog. That was the last straw.
I was so sad, but I had to put her down. I couldn't deal with the anxiety of trying to keep her safe and others safe too. She was so good to our family and so protective of us. I had to make a tough choice and I did. I cried for a long time over her and my neighbor, thankfully, was understanding. The other dog had to have surgery but lived a long time after that.
((HUGS)) to you, it's not an easy choice. I would not give him away, I just couldn't give someone else that anxiety. I hope you figure out what you want to do.
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Apr 28, 2018 13:43:47 GMT
There are people and rescues who will take on 'difficult' dogs, but I don't know how you go about finding them.
I'm sorry. I can hear how much you love him. If you have tried training and medications, I'm not sure what else there is left.
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Post by mamakoala on Apr 28, 2018 13:44:07 GMT
I'm sorry. When my children were little, we had a dog like that. I had to keep her on a leash at all times, could not just let her out. She was a pit bull mix. We did not know that when we got her as a puppy. Long story short, she bit several people, including my youngest DD (the only one who had to have stitches). One day, she was outside by herself (on a horse tether, like a long leash) when the neighbor's dog came in our yard. She was so fierce that she snapped the tether and attacked the dog. That was the last straw. I was so sad, but I had to put her down. I couldn't deal with the anxiety of trying to keep her safe and others safe too. She was so good to our family and so protective of us. I had to make a tough choice and I did. I cried for a long time over her and my neighbor, thankfully, was understanding. The other dog had to have surgery but lived a long time after that. ((HUGS)) to you, it's not an easy choice. I would not give him away, I just couldn't give someone else that anxiety. I hope you figure out what you want to do. this sounds so familiar--it's exactly what i go through. He absolutely adores our family, me particularly. He follows me eeverywhere, sleeps under the covers by my feet, won't leave my side when I am home. I am heartbroken. My husband thinks I am over-reacting. But a biter...i just don't think you can overreact with tht. If i lived alone in an apartment i could control the environment more, but with 3 cats, 2 dogs, 2 kids, and a negligent husband who does a lot of work around the property--leaving doors open etc--i just can't control the environment enough. and the stress that he could bite someone. I don't know what to do.. |
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Post by mamakoala on Apr 28, 2018 13:45:27 GMT
oh, and just so you know-we had a big birthday party recently and he was WONDERFUL. It seems to be when he's startled or when it's a big man that he freaks out.
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Apr 28, 2018 13:46:10 GMT
I think you really need your whole family on board, it doesn't sound as though your husband is fully supporting you with this. How would he feel if you had to have the dog PTS?
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Post by mamakoala on Apr 28, 2018 13:47:44 GMT
I think you really need your whole family on board, it doesn't sound as though your husband is fully supporting you with this. How would he feel if you had to have the dog PTS? He knows it's my decision, in the end, because Kippy is "my" dog. He bonded with me most, and my husband is not really a dog person. He refuses to be careful with the dog, so in the end, he really doesn't get a say. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 28, 2018 13:49:00 GMT
I wish I had any advice for you but I don’t. I had a Jack Russell and he was crazy as a loon but I loved him anyway. Mine was a growly little turd and I had to really watch him around little kids or people who I knew would get a charge out of messing with him to rile him up. It’s particularly hard when the others in the household don’t get it that everyone has to follow protocol, sigh. Honestly, it sounds more of a lack of people training than anything IMO. You took in the dog knowing he had issues. Kind of like my current little dog. DH will let her out but then doesn’t watch and wait to make sure she actually does ALL of her business. Then he lets her back in and she will promptly run and pee on the garage service door mat.  It’s really hard for me to hold the dog accountable when it’s the people around her who aren’t consistent.  |
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Post by Lexica on Apr 28, 2018 13:50:25 GMT
Could you keep a muzzle on the dog when you are not home to monitor him?
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Post by mamakoala on Apr 28, 2018 13:51:24 GMT
I wish I had any advice for you but I don’t. I had a Jack Russell and he was crazy as a loon but I loved him anyway. Mine was a growly little turd and I had to really watch him around little kids or people who I knew would get a charge out of messing with him to rile him up. It’s particularly hard when the others in the household don’t get it that everyone has to follow protocol, sigh. Honestly, it sounds more of a lack of people training than anything IMO. You took in the dog knowing he had issues. Kind of like my current little dog. DH will let her out but then doesn’t watch and wait to make sure she actually does ALL of her business. Then he lets her back in and she will promptly run and pee on the garage service door mat. It’s really hard for me to hold the dog accountable when it’s the people around her who aren’t consistent. Actually, we weren't told a thing when we adopted him. It was a really shitty adoption group. We were told "he's a jack russel so he's energetic" but that's all. NOt that he had been returned 4 times, not that he was a biter, not that he was abused. We figured it out pretty quickly, but by that point we had fallen in love with him. |
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Apr 28, 2018 13:51:39 GMT
I think you really need your whole family on board, it doesn't sound as though your husband is fully supporting you with this. How would he feel if you had to have the dog PTS? He knows it's my decision, in the end, because Kippy is "my" dog. He bonded with me most, and my husband is not really a dog person. He refuses to be careful with the dog, so in the end, he really doesn't get a say. That's a shame, I was hoping that if he would be devastated to lose Kippy then that might make him be more careful. crazy4scraps is right, consistency from humans is SO important. |
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Post by mamakoala on Apr 28, 2018 13:52:05 GMT
Could you keep a muzzle on the dog when you are not home to monitor him? maybe. thank you. |
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Post by mamakoala on Apr 28, 2018 13:53:57 GMT
He knows it's my decision, in the end, because Kippy is "my" dog. He bonded with me most, and my husband is not really a dog person. He refuses to be careful with the dog, so in the end, he really doesn't get a say. That's a shame, I was hoping that if he would be devastated to lose Kippy then that might make him be more careful. crazy4scraps is right, consistency from humans is SO important. This is the source of our biggest fights. I tell dh again and again--you must be more careful with the dog, he WILL bite someone. He refuses, and I literally almost want to divorce him over it. It's that infuriating. ANd now Kippy has bitten someone again, on HIS watch. I just don't think I can trust my husband to be careful enough, and his carelessnes is teaching the kids to be careless. I have literally yelled at my husband over this, and still, he isnt careful. But even still, you can never watch a dog ALL THE TIME. that's the reality. |
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,616
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Apr 28, 2018 13:54:02 GMT
I can hear your love for the dog, but also your anxiety. If you put this dog down, will you forgive your husband for not making an effort? I think you need to think through all of the feelings that may arise. I think the first thing I would do is see if you can get your dh more on board. If that won't happen, I'd look into rehoming at a place that takes difficult dogs. I know these places exist. But I would really try to work with my dh first - because I think you may resent him for not helping at all.
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Apr 28, 2018 13:55:35 GMT
That's a shame, I was hoping that if he would be devastated to lose Kippy then that might make him be more careful. crazy4scraps is right, consistency from humans is SO important. This is the source of our biggest fights. I tell dh again and again--you must be more careful with the dog, he WILL bite someone. He refuses, and I literally almost want to divorce him over it. It's that infuriating. ANd now Kippy has bitten someone again, on HIS watch. I just don't think I can trust my husband to be careful enough, and his carelessnes is teaching the kids to be careless. I have literally yelled at my husband over this, and still, he isnt careful. But even still, you can never watch a dog ALL THE TIME. that's the reality. No, for sure you can't. I'm really sorry I don't have any better suggestions. I hope you can figure something out. |
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Apr 28, 2018 13:55:52 GMT
Honestly, it sounds more of a lack of people training than anything IMO. That's my thought as well, especially knowing he did well at a birthday party where you were in attendance. Does your mail/UPS/etc come at a consistent time? Maybe if you're going to be gone during those times the dog needs to be crated or in a particular room. I don't know enough about shelters/rescues but my instinct is a shelter wouldn't take him but a rescue might, just a guess. |
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Post by mamakoala on Apr 28, 2018 13:58:25 GMT
he cant be crated or put in a separate room. HE actually CHEWED THROUGH a metal crate, needing stitches for the cuts on his mouth. If you leave him in a room he will literally claw and chew the bottom of the door to get out. Ask me how i know.
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Bridget in MD
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,050
Member is Online
Jun 25, 2014 20:40:00 GMT
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Post by Bridget in MD on Apr 28, 2018 13:58:27 GMT
Sometimes doing the right thing downright sucks. I hope you can rehome him instead of putting him down, but your peace of mind is super important too. Hugs.
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Post by #notLauren on Apr 28, 2018 13:58:36 GMT
I understand you love the dog. But, he's bitten two people already. Not only is a risk of serious injury to someone, you are facing a great deal of financial liability when he next bites. He's needs to be put down.
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Loydene
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,639 
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Post by Loydene on Apr 28, 2018 13:59:38 GMT
I'm very sorry. My sister had a dog like this -- but not as "bad" as you've stated. The saving grace of that dog, Millie, was that she would mind on a dime! My sister said, "sit" - Millie's rear end was going down before the end of the command! That worked great - well, except my sister couldn't travel without Millie since she couldn't be boarded and wouldn't accept anyone else for care -- Until Millie started getting deaf. She couldn't mind if she couldn't hear -- and was becoming a liability issue for my sister.
Millie had to be put down. My sister was - is - very saddened -- but it was the best choice. Millie is put out of her fear and misery with the rest of the world.
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Post by pierkiss on Apr 28, 2018 14:01:52 GMT
He needs to be put down. I’m sorry.
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Post by mustlovecats on Apr 28, 2018 14:08:27 GMT
If you feel the dog needs to be put down, you will have loved him well and you can know you did all you could and made the right decision.
In the alternative, I would search a breed rescue and call them whether they’re local or not. They will know how to advise you because they have seen it all before. If it comes to that, many rescues will help you arrange transport across some distances. But perhaps they can help you find a dog trainer that can help this problem without having to give up your dog if that is what you want to do.
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Post by mamakoala on Apr 28, 2018 14:12:01 GMT
Thank you all. I have a call into our vet to have a discussion this afternoon.
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Post by fridaycat on Apr 28, 2018 14:16:46 GMT
Should you decide to put him down, don't hold it against your husband. You have a family and this dog isn't a family dog. He just isn't a good fit for all of you and your lifestyle. It's really no one's fault.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 28, 2018 14:22:13 GMT
I wish I had any advice for you but I don’t. I had a Jack Russell and he was crazy as a loon but I loved him anyway. Mine was a growly little turd and I had to really watch him around little kids or people who I knew would get a charge out of messing with him to rile him up. It’s particularly hard when the others in the household don’t get it that everyone has to follow protocol, sigh. Honestly, it sounds more of a lack of people training than anything IMO. You took in the dog knowing he had issues. Kind of like my current little dog. DH will let her out but then doesn’t watch and wait to make sure she actually does ALL of her business. Then he lets her back in and she will promptly run and pee on the garage service door mat. It’s really hard for me to hold the dog accountable when it’s the people around her who aren’t consistent. Actually, we weren't told a thing when we adopted him. It was a really shitty adoption group. We were told "he's a jack russel so he's energetic" but that's all. NOt that he had been returned 4 times, not that he was a biter, not that he was abused. We figured it out pretty quickly, but by that point we had fallen in love with him. That’s really sad all the way around. |
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It’s really hard for me to hold the dog accountable when it’s the people around her who aren’t consistent. 
