teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,833
Jun 29, 2014 1:56:04 GMT
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Post by teddyw on Jul 16, 2018 15:54:58 GMT
You are s good person to take in your ex. It sucks hus insurance isn’t accepted at better homes. What about one further away?
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renny
Junior Member
Posts: 70
Jul 10, 2014 4:34:45 GMT
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Post by renny on Jul 16, 2018 22:29:25 GMT
Really Red I was wondering too. Like a dummy, I was watching for updates on the other thread. Glad I found this one and I hope you are doing well and that your ex is improving. It is a hard road.
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Post by Really Red on Jul 17, 2018 0:28:39 GMT
Thank you for asking christine58 and renny . Between keeping up with work, kids and doing speech therapy twice a day, not to mention stopping ex from bringing bad people into my life, I am worn out. My sweet daughter drove 8 hours to come and see me for 1.5 days. She got in late Friday and had to leave about 2pm on Sunday. It made SUCH a difference. I left my ex with my son for a few hours on Saturday and my daughter and I ran errands together and it felt SO good. She took over all the speech therapy and took her dad swimming and walking and it was so great. Today I had a class at work so left my ex all day with my son. I felt so ridiculously happy studying web design. I mean I like that stuff, but it was extra specially interesting because no one needed me! I am at work most of this week and I think that will help. My son is taking over the big responsibilities with his dad. That's a big deal because prior to the stroke, they had no relationship at all. My other daughter, who is in Europe, talks with him several times a day (he keeps facetiming her). She'll talk to him whenever she can. My ex tells me it is amazing because "he" knows he'll get better. Ex doesn't know how "he" knows it, but "he" does. Ex thinks my DD in Europe is brilliant. It makes me laugh. My DD is oh-so-sweet, but she has her head in the clouds. We are all a little discombobulated. Yesterday, at breakfast, my son got a text from my neighbor and raced out the door. She said her father was supposed to have taken the dog out the night before, but passed away and asked if my son could take care of the dog. My son came back and was telling me all about it. I immediately texted my neighbor and wrote this beautiful note of sympathy for her sweet dad. I touched on all the lovely things about it and expressed sorrow for her mom and kids and well as herself. I offered help. She wrote back and said her father was NOT dead. I looked at my son and he looked at his text and it said "my father was supposed to watch the dog last night, but he didn't make it" and my son assumed that meant that the father was dead. I don't know why that just set me off and I couldn't stop laughing. The good news is that my ex is getting better. I need him to understand more, but I see an improvement - a big one - every single day. He's starting speech therapy next week, but we are really doing everything we can, my son and I, at home. My ex is working very hard, too, to work on his aphasia.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jul 17, 2018 0:36:14 GMT
Sounds like a great update Red!!! you're doing a good job. Why such a delay to get Speech Therapy going?!
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Post by christine58 on Jul 17, 2018 0:41:47 GMT
The good news is that my ex is getting better. I need him to understand more, but I see an improvement - a big one - every single day. He's starting speech therapy next week, but we are really doing everything we can, my son and I, at home. My ex is working very hard, too, to work on his aphasia. That's great...here's hoping there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You need to be able to take care of yourself. I hope you can get some in home help and soon.
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Post by KikiPea on Jul 17, 2018 0:57:56 GMT
Nice update! Continuing to pray for his recover, and your sanity!
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renny
Junior Member
Posts: 70
Jul 10, 2014 4:34:45 GMT
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Post by renny on Jul 17, 2018 3:13:51 GMT
This is a wonderful update. I know in the beginning, those precious hours of normalcy meant the world to me. I am so very glad he is getting better! And thrilled about the new relationship between father and son - you are very lucky. <3
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Post by scrappintoee on Jul 17, 2018 3:32:28 GMT
Wonderful update, it's so encouraging that you see big improvements daily !!!! Also, it's awesome how much DD and DS are doing! The story about the dog and NOT dead dad !!! I'm so glad you couldn't stop laughing----you NEED that kind of stress relief! I hope you laughed for a longggg time and got a very well-deserved endorphin rush!
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Post by mom on Jul 17, 2018 3:35:34 GMT
Thank you for asking christine58 and renny . Between keeping up with work, kids and doing speech therapy twice a day, not to mention stopping ex from bringing bad people into my life, I am worn out. My sweet daughter drove 8 hours to come and see me for 1.5 days. She got in late Friday and had to leave about 2pm on Sunday. It made SUCH a difference. I left my ex with my son for a few hours on Saturday and my daughter and I ran errands together and it felt SO good. She took over all the speech therapy and took her dad swimming and walking and it was so great. Today I had a class at work so left my ex all day with my son. I felt so ridiculously happy studying web design. I mean I like that stuff, but it was extra specially interesting because no one needed me! I am at work most of this week and I think that will help. My son is taking over the big responsibilities with his dad. That's a big deal because prior to the stroke, they had no relationship at all. My other daughter, who is in Europe, talks with him several times a day (he keeps facetiming her). She'll talk to him whenever she can. My ex tells me it is amazing because "he" knows he'll get better. Ex doesn't know how "he" knows it, but "he" does. Ex thinks my DD in Europe is brilliant. It makes me laugh. My DD is oh-so-sweet, but she has her head in the clouds. We are all a little discombobulated. Yesterday, at breakfast, my son got a text from my neighbor and raced out the door. She said her father was supposed to have taken the dog out the night before, but passed away and asked if my son could take care of the dog. My son came back and was telling me all about it. I immediately texted my neighbor and wrote this beautiful note of sympathy for her sweet dad. I touched on all the lovely things about it and expressed sorrow for her mom and kids and well as herself. I offered help. She wrote back and said her father was NOT dead. I looked at my son and he looked at his text and it said "my father was supposed to watch the dog last night, but he didn't make it" and my son assumed that meant that the father was dead. I don't know why that just set me off and I couldn't stop laughing. The good news is that my ex is getting better. I need him to understand more, but I see an improvement - a big one - every single day. He's starting speech therapy next week, but we are really doing everything we can, my son and I, at home. My ex is working very hard, too, to work on his aphasia.
That is a great update!! The more progress he can make in these initial weeks the better outcome he will have!
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Post by Really Red on Jul 17, 2018 10:55:34 GMT
Sounds like a great update Red!!! you're doing a good job. Why such a delay to get Speech Therapy going?! It's hard to find a speech therapist with availability, plus I admit I wanted a good one. I pulled every string I had to get him into one of the better ones. She cleared space for me that she really didn't have to do an assessment. That was Friday (we went home Tuesday night and couldn't start the process until we got the prescription for speech therapy from the hospital). My ex took the assessment and basically got a zero (good news is I did the exact same assessment - with her papers - the next day and he was nearly perfect!). She sent the assessment to the insurance and the insurance has to turn around and approve. We can't make subsequent appointments until then. I had HR call our insurance company to push it through quickly and at 4:45 pm yesterday we got approval. There are zero spots left for this week (she also is on vacation 3 days this week) and I got the only two available next week. She is the only speech therapist at the best place in our town. The next best place also has only one therapist and she isn't taking anyone new now. I have to choose one place - I can't switch back and forth. I seriously do not know what people do when they don't know people or are not - uh shall we say tenacious and not annoying? It will be 2 weeks from the time he left the hospital until he starts speech therapy and that's because I'm on it every second. I tell my sad story to everyone. Women totally understand that I want him better as soon as possible. Getting him into the cardiologist was next to impossible. I mean, this was his cardiologist!! But they don't like when your patients ignore your advice and don't see you for a couple years. This is why i say we don't do enough for our stroke patients. While it's not quite a full-time job to take care of him, I spend at least 3-5 hours a day either on the phone or working with him. I think, however, he is well enough to start weeding my lawn. He's got to earn his keep somehow, right?!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 9, 2024 17:36:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2018 15:37:48 GMT
Sorry it is taking so much of your time. You are doing a great job. Not many x's will put themselves out for their x like you have. ((HUGS)) to you. I'm glad your daughter could spend some time with you, and that your son is helping out too. That is a blessing I'm sure. Stay strong and don't forget to take care of YOU in this procedure.
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 18, 2018 13:30:19 GMT
Great update! And, your neighbor story is hysterical. I am so glad you are at a point you can laugh.
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Post by ladytrisha on Jul 18, 2018 15:11:58 GMT
As one who has been the "good" person for 3 years with my MIL's alzheimer's process, please inhale it when someone notices that yes, you are doing more than just the right thing. Seriously, it'll keep you going in spots when you doubt your sanity.
Your ex is lucky to have you - but you've also shown such an incredible life lesson to your children about simply being there and doing what's right (and fighting that urge to say "oh hell no") ... you are exactly what and who he needs in his corner fighting the fight he can't fight. My husband's family call me the pitbull - welcome to the tribe. Hang in there - and definitely find those quiet moments to let go of all the pent up frustration and emotion. Letting it go, lets you refuel for the next step forward.
He's a very lucky man - one day he'll know.
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Post by Really Red on Jul 19, 2018 2:45:57 GMT
ladytrisha I remember your story about your MIL. You are very strong. My ex's family is SO supportive of me. I love them like my own. I say this is a lesson for my children, but quite frankly, it wouldn't matter if I had them or not. Right is right. You understand that. I think my ex might understand it, too, but it won't ever make a difference and that's what is such a shame.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 9, 2024 17:36:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2018 3:04:21 GMT
Really Red the part you said about it being a lesson for your kids but it didn’t really matter because right is right... That’s character. You have shown US, the Peas, your sweet character. I wish the best for you & better health for him.
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