CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,829
Jun 26, 2014 12:56:40 GMT
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Post by CeeScraps on Sept 5, 2018 21:03:01 GMT
Here's an article, plus some interesting links at the bottom of the article. Lawnmower Parents
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 16:44:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2018 21:17:39 GMT
I think most parents are lawnmower parents. I would take my kid a water bottle if they called to requested one.
My daughter went through a period where she would her head at home if it had not been attached. Was it a pain to take her stuff to her?yes. Was it worth her not getting stressed over a missing pair of gym shorts? Oh hell yes.
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breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,919
Location: PNW
Jul 20, 2014 21:57:23 GMT
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Post by breetheflea on Sept 5, 2018 21:22:52 GMT
I thought the article was going to be about the parents that mow everyone else down to get their kids into every activity (I know one of those) even if they have to lie about the child's age.
I've drove my kids (school issued)i-pad to school twice last year, otherwise kid couldn't do her work during class since EVERYTHING is on there... water bottle though, no!
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Post by Prenticekid on Sept 5, 2018 21:24:40 GMT
I think most parents are lawnmower parents. I would take my kid a water bottle if they called to requested one. My daughter went through a period where she would her head at home if it had not been attached. Was it a pain to take her stuff to her?yes. Was it worth her not getting stressed over a missing pair of gym shorts? Oh hell yes. Why would you think most parents are lawnmower parents? I don't really know anyone who is or was, and the rest of us pretty much eyeroll at them because it was always the same kids and the same parents, which tells you something right there. I'm not sure why it needed a name though.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,792
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Sept 5, 2018 21:29:04 GMT
Water bottle, no. She will learn to bring it with her if she really wants it. If it was dire (like medication), then yes.
I don't consider myself to be a lawnmower parent at all.
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,135
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:46 GMT
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Post by iowgirl on Sept 5, 2018 21:32:42 GMT
I took plenty of things to the school that they forgot. As far as I know, no teacher ever had to come to the office to retrieve it for them though. They got a message it was there and could go get it during the next class break they had.
I was expecting something different with "Lawnmower Parent" though. As in "Your ass is grass, and I am the lawnmower" ... my kids got that plenty! LOL
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,391
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
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Post by kelly8875 on Sept 5, 2018 21:38:10 GMT
No, I’m not a lawnmower parent. You forgot your computer? Go get it, or go without. You forgot your clarinet, poms, homework, gym clothes? You’ll be fine.
I can only think of one time I took something for each kid. Once for my daughters because the Pom team changed their mind on what uniform to wear, and she didn’t know until after she left the house.
And they didn’t die during school without.
These are the “struggles” that teach them how to adapt in life.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,398
Jun 25, 2014 19:28:04 GMT
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Post by RosieKat on Sept 5, 2018 21:42:32 GMT
From the article: "And while I fully acknowledge every child and situation is different—for example, 504 students absolutely need certain struggles eliminated to be on a level playing field with their peers—I’m not sure that the solution for every sensitive child is to remove as much struggle as possible."
As a parent of a child who's had to deal with some real hell mentally and who is now in middle school, I completely agree with this. Yes, there have been times when I've needed to do the equivalent of laying my cloak over every mud puddle because she was just in no mental state to deal with it. But it is at least as important to push her when she can be pushed and challenge her and trust her and help her grow up. So far, she's been in middle school about 3 weeks, and has forgotten a water bottle at least twice and a snack a few more times. She's even walked out and left her breakfast on the counter once. (She sometimes eats on the way to and at the bus stop.) She has known not to call me - that that's just tough and a part of life. We have a deal that she gets one call per semester that's "free," since heaven knows we all forget things sometimes, and after that, she has to "pay" me somehow - the arrangement has been to do an extra chore of substance, but we've not had to use it. I also have a checklist for her to use in the morning that she is responsible for, that includes reminders of things like water bottles, snacks, homework, etc. We agreed upon this plan last year in 5th grade as a stepping stone to personal responsibility.
No one wants our kids to be unhappy or stressed or even - gasp - to fail, but I think it's better that they learn to do so while they still have the cushion and comfort and guidance of home. I'm not saying shove them out of the nest and don't assist, but to challenge them to grow as it's appropriate. I trust none of us have our mommies call us every morning to remind us to bring our water bottle with us - so our challenge is to make sure we don't raise a generation that *does* need that morning phone call!
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IAmUnoriginal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,894
Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
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Post by IAmUnoriginal on Sept 5, 2018 21:52:15 GMT
From the article:
Lawnmower parents go to whatever lengths necessary to prevent their child from having to face adversity, struggle, or failure.
I would definitely not call myself or any of the moms I am friends with "lawnmower parents." Running a non-emergent thing to the school in the middle of the work day is not going to happen. I would never leave work over a water bottle. Hell no. There's a drinking fountain available. If your preference is a water bottle, I guess you'll remember it going forward. A little discomfort is not going to hurt the kid. It teaches them to be accountable for their own things. Build a little character. Teach your kid to be resourceful. Who is going to run them their water bottle when they are in college? If they don't learn to solve the little stuff, how can we expect them to function as young adults away from home for the first time.
DS had braces later than some kids. He was 16 and had a car while he was wearing them. One day, a bracket popped off. He called me at work to tell me. I told him I'd call the ortho and call him back to let him know when I'd be there to pick him up. (Yes, I consider metal popping loose and poking him to be bigger than a water bottle.) "No, Mom. I'm just calling to tell you that it happened. I already called the ortho's office. They can see me in an hour. Just letting you know that I'm driving to **that town** and I won't be home when you get here." He did that because I taught him as a small fry to handle things.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,398
Jun 25, 2014 19:28:04 GMT
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Post by RosieKat on Sept 5, 2018 22:05:14 GMT
I don't think most moms I'm truly friends with are lawnmower parents, but I definitely know plenty who are. It amazes me that at our elementary school, they actually leave a cart in the lobby for moms bringing freshly made, hot lunches for their kid. Daily. The once in a while special thing, I get - but this is every single day with enough people that it requires two filling and unloading cycles of a standard 3-tier utility cart! And this whole school is only around 400 something kids...
(OK, truthfully, I always kind of wonder if anyone would notice if I just swipe one on my way out. I'd like a nice fresh hot lunch, too!)
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Sept 5, 2018 22:08:26 GMT
I think most parents are lawnmower parents. I would take my kid a water bottle if they called to requested one. My daughter went through a period where she would her head at home if it had not been attached. Was it a pain to take her stuff to her?yes. Was it worth her not getting stressed over a missing pair of gym shorts? Oh hell yes. You think wrong. DD is 30 and will vouch that I was about as far from a Lawnmower parent as they come. Had she ever called me about a forgotten water bottle, I would have laughed. Forget something, tough cookies. Screw off in English and get disqualified from a District meet? Not my problem, but have fun cheering your teammates on from the bench. The teacher was shocked that I didn't ask him to make allowances or treat her differently. She has ADD and had modifications, but I would have done her no favors by smoothing everything over for her. I suspect most parents are well meaning, but haven't thought it through to the unintended consequences of their actions.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Sept 5, 2018 22:09:58 GMT
Well, my kids learned early on that they either remembered or did without because I was at work and could not leave to cover their mistakes.
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Post by gar on Sept 5, 2018 22:12:53 GMT
I think most parents are lawnmower parents. I would take my kid a water bottle if they called to requested one. I don't think most are - or at least were when my DDs were kids and I def did not take them water bottles or other non essential things.
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Post by workingclassdog on Sept 5, 2018 22:15:40 GMT
I'm definitely not the lawnmower parent.. To bad so sad.. just like my mom and dad told me. ONCE and a blue moon I will bring the forgotten water bottle or gym shoes but 99% of the time I am at work and in no position to bring forgotten items. Raining out? Gotta walk in the rain. Snowing out.. Gotta walk in the snow. She packs her lunch, packs what clothing is needed and that is the way it goes. I absolutely love the parents that can't even drop their kiddo off down the street (school in plain view) but have to go right to the door. Doesn't matter what the situation is. I get it in some cases but the majority.. nope...
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Post by workingclassdog on Sept 5, 2018 22:18:38 GMT
I don't think most moms I'm truly friends with are lawnmower parents, but I definitely know plenty who are. It amazes me that at our elementary school, they actually leave a cart in the lobby for moms bringing freshly made, hot lunches for their kid. Daily. The once in a while special thing, I get - but this is every single day with enough people that it requires two filling and unloading cycles of a standard 3-tier utility cart! And this whole school is only around 400 something kids... (OK, truthfully, I always kind of wonder if anyone would notice if I just swipe one on my way out. I'd like a nice fresh hot lunch, too!) SERIOUSLY?? You have to be kidding me?? No.. that has to be a joke... I get the bring your kid McDonalds on a special day or whatever.. The closest thing my kiddo gets for a hot lunch, maybe 3 times a month, is buying a hot lunch or something in her thermos that stays hot until lunch time.
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Post by elaine on Sept 5, 2018 22:34:17 GMT
Meh.
Teachers writing articles to criticize parents goes over just as well, for me, as parents writing articles to criticize teachers.
What a small mean-spirited way to start the school year. May that teacher happen across one of the lengthy diatribes against teachers on the internet and examine how it feels.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Sept 5, 2018 22:36:29 GMT
Well, my kids learned early on that they either remembered or did without because I was at work and could not leave to cover their mistakes. Same for me and mine. I’m also one that feels we learn from our mistakes, so I don’t fix everything for my kids. I prefer they learn by doing even if that means stumbling every once in a while.
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Post by Basket1lady on Sept 5, 2018 22:38:08 GMT
For K on up, we had the policy that I’d bring your forgotten item once a semester. Everyone deserves a moment of grace. But after that, you owed me. And I didn’t want money—I wanted chores. Cleaning the baseboards was my favorite. For some reason the kids hated it even worse than cleaning toilets. And they had to pay me back with twice the time the errand took me. So if it took me 20 minutes round trip, they owed me 40 minutes. It worked to remind them when they called that this was their one freebie.
Until the year DS took violin lessons (which he chose!). He hated them and would “forget” his violin so that he didn’t have to go to lessons. Well, I was in the classroom one day helping out, the teacher needed something done quickly, and DS didn’t bring his violin. Luckily, she caught on quickly and sent him to lessons WITHOUT his violin. Genius! The lesson was twice as boring without an instrument and DS never forgot his violin again. That woman was a genius and was great about making the consequences fit the crime.
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MaryMary
Pearl Clutcher
Lazy
Posts: 2,975
Jun 25, 2014 21:56:13 GMT
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Post by MaryMary on Sept 5, 2018 23:15:32 GMT
I would never take a water bottle to my kid. Not a chance.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,398
Jun 25, 2014 19:28:04 GMT
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Post by RosieKat on Sept 5, 2018 23:32:27 GMT
I don't think most moms I'm truly friends with are lawnmower parents, but I definitely know plenty who are. It amazes me that at our elementary school, they actually leave a cart in the lobby for moms bringing freshly made, hot lunches for their kid. Daily. The once in a while special thing, I get - but this is every single day with enough people that it requires two filling and unloading cycles of a standard 3-tier utility cart! And this whole school is only around 400 something kids... (OK, truthfully, I always kind of wonder if anyone would notice if I just swipe one on my way out. I'd like a nice fresh hot lunch, too!) SERIOUSLY?? You have to be kidding me?? No.. that has to be a joke... I get the bring your kid McDonalds on a special day or whatever.. The closest thing my kiddo gets for a hot lunch, maybe 3 times a month, is buying a hot lunch or something in her thermos that stays hot until lunch time. I wish it was a joke. I think a lot of it is a cultural difference - our community has a lot of people from each of two different cultures, and I've noticed that a substantial portion of the moms doing this are of those two cultures. But it's definitely NOT all of them! One of my kids kind of tried pressuring me to do that early on in our time there. I can't tell you how long and hard I laughed at that...
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Post by prapea on Sept 5, 2018 23:36:23 GMT
SERIOUSLY?? You have to be kidding me?? No.. that has to be a joke... I get the bring your kid McDonalds on a special day or whatever.. The closest thing my kiddo gets for a hot lunch, maybe 3 times a month, is buying a hot lunch or something in her thermos that stays hot until lunch time. I wish it was a joke. I think a lot of it is a cultural difference - our community has a lot of people from each of two different cultures, and I've noticed that a substantial portion of the moms doing this are of those two cultures. But it's definitely NOT all of them! One of my kids kind of tried pressuring me to do that early on in our time there. I can't tell you how long and hard I laughed at that... My first thought when I read your original message was - are these guys Indian? 🤣. Because I have seen that at my kid’s school. Not only do they come bringing hot lunch during their lunch hour but also feed the kids ...this went on from kinder to 2nd grade. And no, the kid was not special needs.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Sept 5, 2018 23:42:14 GMT
I think most parents are lawnmower parents. I would take my kid a water bottle if they called to requested one. My daughter went through a period where she would her head at home if it had not been attached. Was it a pain to take her stuff to her?yes. Was it worth her not getting stressed over a missing pair of gym shorts? Oh hell yes. you would? to her school, in the middle of a school day, when there's a perfectly good water fountain in the hallway? really? why?!?...after reading that article and another one linked that was written by a college professor, I'm glad I grew up in the 70s and 80s, when we got to learn how to do stuff for ourselves. (and we couldn't even HAVE bottled water with us in class- "...back in my day, we made do with a quick drink at the fountain in the 3 minutes walking between classes. uphill. both ways." lol! )
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Post by shamrock on Sept 5, 2018 23:54:05 GMT
I don’t consider myself or most parents I know “lawnmower parents.” My boys get one “mom saves the day” each semester. They are in 7th & 9th grades. I don’t remember the last time either used it before today. 9th grader needed a save this morning. He needed a bag of candy for biology (and then ended up not really needing it 😡) He knew this after school yesterday but forgot. He had a choice this morning- no candy but be on time to school or candy but he’d be late because we had to go to the store. He choose candy and late. Lucky for him he made it to class as the ell rang so wasn’t even late. But he had to carry his viola and backpack around for 3 classes before he had time to put them away. Hopefully that helped drive the lesson home.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 16:44:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2018 23:59:30 GMT
I think most parents are lawnmower parents. I would take my kid a water bottle if they called to requested one. My daughter went through a period where she would her head at home if it had not been attached. Was it a pain to take her stuff to her?yes. Was it worth her not getting stressed over a missing pair of gym shorts? Oh hell yes. you would? to her school, in the middle of a school day, when there's a perfectly good water fountain in the hallway? really? why? ...after reading that article and another one linked that was written by a college professor, I'm glad I grew up in the 70s and 80s, when we got to learn how to do stuff for ourselves. Yes. I would, because daughter had low immunity. Drinking out of fountain is like drinking from a toilet, even if she wiped it down. I took gym clothes because a student can actually fail for not “dressing down”. I took forgotten lunches because our school doesn’t let a child eat unless there is money in their account/ or they have money. No lunch was sometimes my fault as I had to go buy groceries. ( my son’s Elementary never watch what numbers were punched in, so I was buying lunch for a couple other kids. I ended up going in for a month and handing cash to the cashier. ) Except for 2 teachers my kids were well liked and never demanding. They were both ta’s in school and got great letter’s of recommendations. Also I was at the school A LOT as a room parent. That was probably the ultimate lawnmower parent thing to do.
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Post by kernriver on Sept 5, 2018 23:59:53 GMT
I would never drink out of a water fountain and I wouldn’t want my kids to either. I‘D deliver the water.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 6, 2018 0:27:12 GMT
RosieKat I like your approach. And as a mom who also deals with mental illness I have taken a much more balanced approach as my kids have grown up. When they were small I pushed them toward independence. I would never have been categorized as a lawnmower parent. Asthey've gotten older there are times when they just can't quite get their head together some days and I try to be mindful of that. For example my son has some food issues. Some nights I go with this is what I'm cooking and if you don't like it, have a sandwich. And some nights I adjust what I'm making for him to join us for dinner. His issue is pretty much that he abhors sauces, seasonings, etc. He eats a wide variety of food but doesn't like things combined. For example, he likes everything in chicken noodle soup served separately but won't eat soup.
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Sept 6, 2018 0:33:49 GMT
Last year I dropped off fast food for the first time ever (9th & 11th grades). My kids thought somebody had died or that something bad had happened. Guess I'm not a lawnmower mom.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Sept 6, 2018 0:36:12 GMT
Here I was thinking most of the 2Ps moms on here were also lawnmower moms! Esp reading the kids going off to college threads. I just laugh and roll my eyes. I think some of you are in denial. Sorry!!! Yea, I could never run things to my kids. I worked 30 miles away, one way. So they learned to go without.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 16:44:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2018 0:43:44 GMT
jeremysgirlI can’t stand anything in my chicken soup but noodles. I would eat the other stuff on the side too! Btw. Can not stand meat in pot pies either. I just want the gravy.
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Sept 6, 2018 0:46:10 GMT
Hmmm, maybe I'm more like a weed wacker parent? Each kid is different so in some cases what may seem like a lawn mower moment is actually a bigger deal, you just don't know the backstory? Like gym shorts - it happens. I'll help you if I can. More than once?? Not without payment. I am also paid in time, i.e. chores. ADHD DD - she is very good about taking her medicine but she's human. If she has something super important and calls in a panic because she knows herself, I can help. She has thought through her consequence and chose to seek help. Why would I punish her for that? Water bottle? Yeah... I'd need a little more information. Water bottles are absolutely a big deal in our school - how many emails does one mom need at the start of school? So perhaps there is a bit more to the story.
That said - how about the teacher last year who was a lawnmower teacher. You could NOT let the kid learn a lesson about forgetting stuff. For example - snack. You could have one if you brought one. That was the rule. Just like making sure you get your lunch in your bag, it is your job to get your snack in your bag. There is an entire basket, fully stocked of school appropriate, kid chosen snacks in the pantry. Grab one, write your name on it and go. First two weeks - I'll remind you daily. I'll make sure you leave the house with a snack. Then it is routine. Grab it and go. If you forgot your kid's snack, teacher would open her snack cabinet and feed the kid. The nice little passive aggressive note would come home about how snacks are so important. Great - kid will learn then. Snack is important or they will be starving at 2. Nope. Rescued my kid every. single. time. even after I wrote specifically asking her to not rescue her that getting a snack in the backpack was part of her routine and responsibility. This was also the case with other things, just pointing out one example.
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