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Post by katlady on Sept 6, 2018 1:09:54 GMT
I grew up before cell phones, so if we forgot something at home it was too bad. If we forgot our gym clothes, we just had to sit it out on the bench during gym time. We also didn't carry water bottles. For my two, I worked full time, so most of the time, if they forgot something, I was not going to drive home 40 miles and get it for them. Plus, I was in a carpool most of the time they were in school, so I had no way to get home anyways, other than renting a car.
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Post by Jennifer C on Sept 6, 2018 1:10:48 GMT
I don't think most moms I'm truly friends with are lawnmower parents, but I definitely know plenty who are. It amazes me that at our elementary school, they actually leave a cart in the lobby for moms bringing freshly made, hot lunches for their kid. Daily. The once in a while special thing, I get - but this is every single day with enough people that it requires two filling and unloading cycles of a standard 3-tier utility cart! And this whole school is only around 400 something kids... (OK, truthfully, I always kind of wonder if anyone would notice if I just swipe one on my way out. I'd like a nice fresh hot lunch, too!) I take my kids a lunch once every blue moon. However, we have grandparents and step grandparents and former step grandma that know my kids lunch schedule and they plan the week among themselves. I like it because it keeps the Grans friendly with each other, they even have a group text with my kids going. I will not discourage that. However, I had to draw the line at a starbucks drop off. And yes, we have the cart in the lobby that fills up everyday. Jennifer
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Post by Outspoken on Sept 6, 2018 1:15:14 GMT
I have a friend who is a Lawnmower parent AT ALL COSTS! It drives me nuts.
The school system where my kids attend has a policy specifically against dropping items off. The ONLY thing you can drop off is a lunch or necessary meds. Not lunch MONEY (because you can go in debt for a school lunch), not your instrument, not your homework, not gym clothes, not computer - nothing else. Your snowflake will have to do without. And learn to remember.
ETA- you also have to open the lunch and prove it’s food!!!! Which tells you that someone has disguised their other items as a lunch!
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Post by mustlovecats on Sept 6, 2018 1:16:29 GMT
I sincerely believe that most parents are doing the best they know how to for their kids. I get the instinct. I struggled and I want better for my kids. But - you don’t get resilience without struggle and resilience is the most important thing that I think makes kids successful.
That said... yes, I know this parent. It’s frustrating.
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 6, 2018 1:26:27 GMT
I saw that stuff every single day. I will say that it was usually just one parent or so a year. It was crazy. This happened even though kids were not allowed to call home unless they had note from the teacher (before cell phones). I could see it maybe once in a blue moon (like lunch for a kid who couldn't eat the school lunches).
My kids were trained early on that no one would be bringing them anything to school. I taught them to pack their backpack when I was making dinner (already had homework finished), make lunch if they needed to and basically have everything in the car by dinner the night before. I drove 10+ miles each day to take them to school (and me to work), so they were SOL if they forgot something. My boys were very responsible though and this just wasn't a problem. I still have one (adult) kid out the door at 6 am and every night I see him pack his lunch and water and put it in his truck. The other one is just as responsible but doesn't start his day until 7. I don't know if they learned this or if they are just responsible people, but I am sure the school situation they had growing up helped them figure it out.
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Post by LuvAgoodPaddle on Sept 6, 2018 1:36:11 GMT
Well since I charged my kid $10 to drive the book he forgot at home while in high school, I don’t think I’m one. Don’t get your feathers all ruffled, because this was the second time after a warning and guess what...it did not happen a third. Taking a water bottle to him? Nope. I have friends that totally are though.
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Post by Linda on Sept 6, 2018 1:38:21 GMT
I don't drive so my kids are out of luck on me bringing stuff to school for them (we are in bus zones for all 4 levels of school here). Dh works in town - he could but doesn't.
I'm a GS volunteer - every single campout/lock-in - some kid forgets something...you know what? they've all survived without their flashlight, messkit, sleeping bag, pillow, clean knickers, swimsuit etc...And it only takes ONE camping weekend of washing out your only pair of knickers before bed each night (yeah - that was MY kid) or wearing shorts and a tee shirt for swimming to remember to double check your bag next time . And if you forgot your mess kit? well, you probably have a buddy willing to share but if they are using their fork, you might need to eat dinner with a spoon or wait for them to be done. (I do keep spare sleeping bags in MY gear - we rarely camp in weather where they are required but I won't let a child go cold because they forgot their sleeping bag - if we're inside and climate controlled like at a lockin? that's different and they can do without - the lockins I do have mostly high schoolers though - we're not talking 5 y/os).
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Post by fredfreddy44 on Sept 6, 2018 1:50:47 GMT
I think most parents are lawnmower parents. I would take my kid a water bottle if they called to requested one. Oh hells no. I have a life
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Post by fredfreddy44 on Sept 6, 2018 1:56:51 GMT
I would never drink out of a water fountain and I wouldn’t want my kids to either. I‘D deliver the water. Well then you are massively part of the problem aren't you?
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Post by mikewozowski on Sept 6, 2018 2:06:32 GMT
we kids all went without water bottles in school when i was a kid. guess what? we all survived just fine. we also didn't have water bottles of any kind at sports practices. only in the summer on all star teams was there water during practice.
parents today are crazy.
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moodyblue
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Location: Western Illinois
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Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Sept 6, 2018 2:16:09 GMT
you would? to her school, in the middle of a school day, when there's a perfectly good water fountain in the hallway? really? why? ...after reading that article and another one linked that was written by a college professor, I'm glad I grew up in the 70s and 80s, when we got to learn how to do stuff for ourselves. Yes. I would, because daughter had low immunity. Drinking out of fountain is like drinking from a toilet, even if she wiped it down. I took gym clothes because a student can actually fail for not “dressing down”. I took forgotten lunches because our school doesn’t let a child eat unless there is money in their account/ or they have money. No lunch was sometimes my fault as I had to go buy groceries. ( my son’s Elementary never watch what numbers were punched in, so I was buying lunch for a couple other kids. I ended up going in for a month and handing cash to the cashier. ) Except for 2 teachers my kids were well liked and never demanding. They were both ta’s in school and got great letter’s of recommendations. Also I was at the school A LOT as a room parent. That was probably the ultimate lawnmower parent thing to do. OK, the low immunity is a health issue, and no school should make a kid go without lunch. But the gym clothes? I've never known a PE teacher to fail a kid for one day of not dressing, and even if it hurts your grade some to forget gym clothes once, that's a lesson that most kids can learn without serious lasting harm.
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Post by elaine on Sept 6, 2018 2:30:37 GMT
we kids all went without water bottles in school when i was a kid. guess what? we all survived just fine. we also didn't have water bottles of any kind at sports practices. only in the summer on all star teams was there water during practice. parents today are crazy. The percentage of schools in the DC area which have recently tested with unsafe levels of lead in their drinking water is what is crazy. Not parents who prefer that their kids don’t drink lead-laden water. That would be the definition of sanity. But it is much more fun - ha-ha - to parent bash; so, let those kids drink lead water, it didn’t cause too much brain damage in previous generations. Those special snowflakes should just shut up and drink up - all that medical science stuff is fake news.
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Post by kernriver on Sept 6, 2018 2:32:44 GMT
I would never drink out of a water fountain and I wouldn’t want my kids to either. I‘D deliver the water. Well then you are massively part of the problem aren't you? No, the problem is people that put their mouthes on the drinking fountain. People that think its funny to blow a snot rocket in there. People that wash their hands and feet in there. People that lift up their dogs to drink from them. And last but not least, dudes that think its hysterically funny to masturbate in the drinking fountains. THEY ARE THE PROBLEM. NOT ME. Think about all these things when you take your next juicy slurp.
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kate
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Post by kate on Sept 6, 2018 2:44:51 GMT
We've called this type of parent "snowplow parents" - this is the first I've heard of "lawnmower parents." It's the same thing, though.
There are some differences from culture to culture. We've had kids come in at age 5 who were still spoon-fed by their parents or nanny. We've had others who had no idea how to dress themselves - they'd stand with their arms out, waiting for an adult to put on or take off their jacket. I respect the differences at home, but ain' nobody got time for spoon-feeding kindergarteners at school! LOL
We had one girl whose mom emailed the gym teacher before every. single. class. with some reason why she might not be able to participate that day (didn't sleep well, had a tummy ache in the morning, etc.) The very wise gym teacher decided she would let the girl sit out if she wanted to, but the teacher never brought it up herself. That little girl didn't miss a single activity in gym class. I wonder what was going on with mom.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 16:25:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2018 2:50:02 GMT
I would never drink out of a water fountain and I wouldn’t want my kids to either. I‘D deliver the water. Well then you are massively part of the problem aren't you? One of our schools district , it is not safe to drink out of any of the faucets. I think water bottles are supplied at those schools.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 16:25:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2018 2:53:41 GMT
Yes. I would, because daughter had low immunity. Drinking out of fountain is like drinking from a toilet, even if she wiped it down. I took gym clothes because a student can actually fail for not “dressing down”. I took forgotten lunches because our school doesn’t let a child eat unless there is money in their account/ or they have money. No lunch was sometimes my fault as I had to go buy groceries. ( my son’s Elementary never watch what numbers were punched in, so I was buying lunch for a couple other kids. I ended up going in for a month and handing cash to the cashier. ) Except for 2 teachers my kids were well liked and never demanding. They were both ta’s in school and got great letter’s of recommendations. Also I was at the school A LOT as a room parent. That was probably the ultimate lawnmower parent thing to do. OK, the low immunity is a health issue, and no school should make a kid go without lunch. But the gym clothes? I've never known a PE teacher to fail a kid for one day of not dressing, and even if it hurts your grade some to forget gym clothes once, that's a lesson that most kids can learn without serious lasting harm. Our school does fail for not wearing gym clothes. The student gets one free pass. I think that they get 10 points taken away.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Sept 6, 2018 3:51:38 GMT
we kids all went without water bottles in school when i was a kid. guess what? we all survived just fine. we also didn't have water bottles of any kind at sports practices. only in the summer on all star teams was there water during practice. parents today are crazy. The percentage of schools in the DC area which have recently tested with unsafe levels of lead in their drinking water is what is crazy. Not parents who prefer that their kids don’t drink lead-laden water. That would be the definition of sanity. But it is much more fun - ha-ha - to parent bash; so, let those kids drink lead water, it didn’t cause too much brain damage in previous generations. Those special snowflakes should just shut up and drink up - all that medical science stuff is fake news. again, no one in any previous replies explained WHY they would do those things. I know, I know- no one knows what struggles someone else is facing- but I wouldn't have thought unsafe levels of lead in the water would be allowed, so something like that- or an immune compromised kid- never crossed my mind. I go by my experience in my posts, you go by yours. like we all do when we post here. No, the problem is people that put their mouthes on the drinking fountain. People that think its funny to blow a snot rocket in there. People that wash their hands and feet in there. People that lift up their dogs to drink from them. And last but not least, dudes that think its hysterically funny to masturbate in the drinking fountains. THEY ARE THE PROBLEM. NOT ME. Think about all these things when you take your next juicy slurp. I'm fairly certain none of these things has EVER happened in the cafeteria where I work- we're a GMP-regulated facility with security cameras everywhere. So I don't have any doubts about drinking the water from the fountain.
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Post by kernriver on Sept 6, 2018 4:08:29 GMT
The percentage of schools in the DC area which have recently tested with unsafe levels of lead in their drinking water is what is crazy. Not parents who prefer that their kids don’t drink lead-laden water. That would be the definition of sanity. But it is much more fun - ha-ha - to parent bash; so, let those kids drink lead water, it didn’t cause too much brain damage in previous generations. Those special snowflakes should just shut up and drink up - all that medical science stuff is fake news. again, no one in any previous replies explained WHY they would do those things. I know, I know- no one knows what struggles someone else is facing- but I wouldn't have thought unsafe levels of lead in the water would be allowed, so something like that- or an immune compromised kid- never crossed my mind. I go by my experience in my posts, you go by yours. like we all do when we post here. No, the problem is people that put their mouthes on the drinking fountain. People that think its funny to blow a snot rocket in there. People that wash their hands and feet in there. People that lift up their dogs to drink from them. And last but not least, dudes that think its hysterically funny to masturbate in the drinking fountains. THEY ARE THE PROBLEM. NOT ME. Think about all these things when you take your next juicy slurp. I'm fairly certain none of these things has EVER happened in the cafeteria where I work- we're a GMP-regulated facility with security cameras everywhere. So I don't have any doubts about drinking the water from the fountain. Well, that’s what you have to think if you’re going to drink out of a public water fountain. Cheers!
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Sept 6, 2018 4:27:56 GMT
I dropped my 2nd grade daughter’s water bottle off for her on my way to library with my son. I was going that way anyway. She didn’t call, I saw it on the counter. I would not make a special trip. She didn’t have juice in her lunchbox and they are not allowed to get water from the fountain while sitting down to eat. Also, her school has poor water quality. They recently were written up for it,
Another day, she realized that she forgot her water and I had mine. I was dropping her off on my way to work so I handed her mine.... down the side it says “tears of my students”. Lol. Wonder if her teacher even noticed.
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Post by elaine on Sept 6, 2018 4:32:17 GMT
The percentage of schools in the DC area which have recently tested with unsafe levels of lead in their drinking water is what is crazy. Not parents who prefer that their kids don’t drink lead-laden water. That would be the definition of sanity. But it is much more fun - ha-ha - to parent bash; so, let those kids drink lead water, it didn’t cause too much brain damage in previous generations. Those special snowflakes should just shut up and drink up - all that medical science stuff is fake news. again, no one in any previous replies explained WHY they would do those things. I know, I know- no one knows what struggles someone else is facing- but I wouldn't have thought unsafe levels of lead in the water would be allowed, so something like that- or an immune compromised kid- never crossed my mind. I go by my experience in my posts, you go by yours. like we all do when we post here. No, the problem is people that put their mouthes on the drinking fountain. People that think its funny to blow a snot rocket in there. People that wash their hands and feet in there. People that lift up their dogs to drink from them. And last but not least, dudes that think its hysterically funny to masturbate in the drinking fountains. THEY ARE THE PROBLEM. NOT ME. Think about all these things when you take your next juicy slurp. I'm fairly certain none of these things has EVER happened in the cafeteria where I work- we're a GMP-regulated facility with security cameras everywhere. So I don't have any doubts about drinking the water from the fountain. The lead in the water issue in schools has been in the national news since Flint and on our news this summer regularly. And with Trump trying to dismantle the EPA, it will only get worse, not better. The reason I found the article petty and small and worthy of our President, is that it ignores real facts only to make its case against parents that this teacher doesn’t want to be bothered with using her limited scope and experience. I hope that our peas have better critical thinking skills and ask themselves “why” rather than just jumping to “awful parenting strategies.” As I mentioned upthread, the whole premise of the article this thread is based on is small and mean. It makes me sad when we lower ourselves to the occasion. If someone wants their kid drinking clean water, so brings them a water bottle at school, is this reason worthy of mocking and bashing? Really? No one can give them the grace of the doubt and just ask why?
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ComplicatedLady
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Post by ComplicatedLady on Sept 6, 2018 4:49:35 GMT
I don’t think I’m a lawnmower parent, but my kid is still young. Regarding water bottles—in pre-K, I’ve stopped at a gas station or convenience store for a water bottle to take to school. When it’s over 100 degrees out and kids are full of energy and want to play inside and outside, they should have a water bottle.
In general, I don’t like to see my kid suffer or struggle. I have to fight the mama bear snuggle and let him face the consequences of some choices. I’ll admit that it’s hard though. After a long day or week, I’m tired, he’s tired. I forget to take a lunch to work or forget my car is almost out of fuel. Heck, a ceo I work with forget his computer and his wife brought it to him. We’re all human and have good days and bad days. Family and friends help.
Again there are limitations—I’m not bringing the black shoes because someone made fun of red ones. Water bottles when it’s hot out in the desert, I’ll ususlly do it. Lunch isn’t a problem because he buys lunch and the school,warns us when his account is low. I’ve tried to work with him on problem solving and how else could we do this? I’d like to think I’m neither extreme. Not a lawnmower serving my kid numerous times daily. I also don’t want to be the hardass mom whose kid is struggling and having a bad week and the answer is that he needs to figure life out with no support from mom. They’re kids. They’re all different. We know them pretty well. We know if the forgotten water bottle is because of the stress of two ap tests that morning and a presentation in the afternoon or if it’s because they stayed up too late then slept in and had to rush out of the house.
Not sure if my point makes sense. Not all kids are practically perfect in every way. They’re human so treat them as such.
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muggins
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Post by muggins on Sept 6, 2018 6:01:40 GMT
As a former teacher and parent, I thought the reaction to the water bottle example in the article was quite petty. Not even sure why the teacher had to go to the office to collect it. Usually in schools I have worked at or my kids have attended, the student would go and collect the item from the office. As a teacher, I’ve had many parents bring in items their kid has forgotten. Some are essentials like homework, swimsuit, iPad, etc, and others are non essential like Fast food lunch, water bottles, etc. Generally no big deal, although I did get very judgey about the mom who used to drop off a Subway lunch about 3-4 times a week but brought her kids to school in MI winter with no coats.
As a parent, I’ve dropped off essentials to my kids on occasion. We all need the support of family sometimes. My DH forgot his wallet one day so I spent an hour of my day to take it to him. In 4th grade my DS forgot his swim bag on 2 occasions and each time I spent an hour and a half and three trains to take it to him. He has a lot of anxiety so having to borrow a school swimsuit would have been really hard on him. We try other ways to overcome his anxiety, but we will support him when he needs it.
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Post by miominmio on Sept 6, 2018 9:11:04 GMT
I don't really care what someone might think if I drop off a book or the laptop charger. If the kid need it, I will bring it (they are usually good at remembering things, had it happened every month, I might view it differently).
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tuesdaysgone
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Sept 6, 2018 9:51:04 GMT
Well since I charged my kid $10 to drive the book he forgot at home while in high school, I don’t think I’m one. Don’t get your feathers all ruffled, because this was the second time after a warning and guess what...it did not happen a third. Taking a water bottle to him? Nope. I have friends that totally are though. A teacher friend of mine did this a couple weeks back. She estimated her cost to drive home, pick up the missing item, and get it over to her son's school. He could pay her in cash or work it off in chores. He son thought about it, and decided to make it thru his day without his gym shoes. She says he now double checks his gym bag every morning before leaving for school. Lesson learned.
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moodyblue
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Post by moodyblue on Sept 6, 2018 11:04:31 GMT
OK, the low immunity is a health issue, and no school should make a kid go without lunch. But the gym clothes? I've never known a PE teacher to fail a kid for one day of not dressing, and even if it hurts your grade some to forget gym clothes once, that's a lesson that most kids can learn without serious lasting harm. Our school does fail for not wearing gym clothes. The student gets one free pass. I think that they get 10 points taken away. So it's as I said - they don't get failed for forgetting one time?
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YooHoot
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Post by YooHoot on Sept 6, 2018 11:12:51 GMT
I know one of these kids. He left for college almost 2 weeks ago. His parents took him to college. They are going to visit tomorrow "to bring him things he forgot".
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artbabe
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Post by artbabe on Sept 6, 2018 11:22:05 GMT
It isn't about bringing stuff to school, which most of you are focusing on. It is about the concept of removing all obstacles from a kid's life so they don't know how to struggle. They don't know how to function if their demands aren't immediately met. They are overwhelmed when they have any issue and don't know how to use there own problem solving abilities.
A lot of peas are lawnmower parents. I read so many threads here that make me crazy.
I'm a teacher and I am frustrated with kids that give up at every little challenge and expect an adult to give them the answer, to fix things for them, to solve every problem they encounter. If you aren't struggling, you aren't learning. And yes, that even applies to going a day without your water bottle.
I like the quote: "Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions."
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SweetieBsMom
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Sept 6, 2018 11:39:11 GMT
I think most parents are lawnmower parents. I would take my kid a water bottle if they called to requested one. My daughter went through a period where she would her head at home if it had not been attached. Was it a pain to take her stuff to her?yes. Was it worth her not getting stressed over a missing pair of gym shorts? Oh hell yes. I don't agree with this. I'm not. I put my kid on the bus and head to another state for work. If DS forgets something, oh well, he will do without because I'm not turning around and I'm not home to bring it to him. But even if I were home, it teaches him responsibility to make sure his backpack is packed in the morning. And my kid is on the spectrum.
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Post by Fidget on Sept 6, 2018 11:51:47 GMT
My kids went to a small private school and parents were not allowed to bring forgotten items to the kids ( I'm sure necessary medication was the exception). This started in elementary school. Forgotten assignment? Graded down one grade for each day not turned in. Forgotten lunch? (there was no hot lunch program), Cheese or peanut butter and crackers. Forgotten gym clothes - you sit out and it's counted against you. When they got to the middle school wing they were not even allowed to go their lockers after class started for homework or a book. Was is it super strict? YES, but it sure taught them responsibility.
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maryannscraps
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Post by maryannscraps on Sept 6, 2018 11:52:04 GMT
I brought my kids things they forgot. Not all that often, because they didn't forget all that often. I have also driven my husband's phone to him at work. Sometimes little monkeys forget.
I'm the one who is forgetful in my family, always have been. I guess my kids had to learn resilience because I didn't remember to do everything for them. It worked for my family. Everyone said 'thank you' to me, so I'm good with it. I can't stand when people are categorized as crap parents because they did something to help out their kids.
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