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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 22, 2018 20:00:01 GMT
Thank you Susie_Homemaker and peaname for sharing your perspectives. I can completely understand expectations in a marriage. Some things are deal breakers. I would hate to think that something like this is, but how many people dump their spouse and then start dating someone 20 years younger?
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Post by dewryce on Sept 22, 2018 20:04:04 GMT
dewryce & paget I'm glad you have supportive husband's. It makes all the difference really. I think we shame ourselves enough and we don't need anyone else shaming us. Absolutely! The very last person to shame us should be our spouses, they should be the first ones helping us to lift ourselves up. I know how lucky I am in this regard
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
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Post by likescarrots on Sept 22, 2018 20:04:43 GMT
I am feeling like maybe I shouldn't have even mentioned her name because really I wanted to have a much deeper discussion about weight and how it affects our thinking about ourselves and how our DH might be thinking or responding to a significant weight gain. It's interesting though, I think YOU are missing the point that we ARE having a deeper discussion, about relationships and respect, and how a good partner who respects you does not make rude comments or hold things over your head (like a fucking house that she has every right to be on the deed to) because you've gained weight, because they RESPECT you and love you. Regardless of what your husband (or anyone's husband) thinks of your weight gain, he clearly values your relationship and doesn't want to damage it by saying something that 1. is mean and hurtful and 2. does not actually do anything to change the weight gain (how many people do you know are positively motivated to lose weight by hearing negative comments from their spouse, or anyone else really?).
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 22, 2018 20:12:43 GMT
Maybe likescarrots. I agree 100% with you about a good partner and I think I have it. But the article, which I thought was very well written and researched gave some interesting statistics that gave me pause. And then when she said that I was like, just so freaking shocked! It felt very akin to me like overt racism. She was overtly fat shaming. And then it made me think, like racism, how much fat shaming might be very under the surface. How many of us might think...no, not me...I have fat friends...etc. just the same way we don't always recognize the racist attitudes that are under the surface. So I don't disagree with anyone that her opinion that it was acceptable in a marriage to use finances to control a spouses weight was ok on any level. My reaction was more like, damn, is this just someone giving voice to a dark, dirty opinion that maybe others share, but just don't say it. I hope that explains my feelings.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Sept 22, 2018 20:19:56 GMT
And 20 lbs lighter. And when someone is suddenly single they want to lose weight to attract dates. I think it’s in our (general. Both sexes) to think this way about the spouse that you have.
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Post by #notLauren on Sept 22, 2018 20:25:44 GMT
When she first started her radio show, Dr. Laura had some good, empowering advice for women. Then, she went right over the edge and became a unrealistic, self-righteous bitch. One of those women who was vocal about what other women should do (for example stay home and raise kids) but never believed her words applied to her. She is completely out of touch with reality and a supreme hypocrite to boot.
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Post by flanz on Sept 22, 2018 20:31:03 GMT
Dr. Laura is trash. I feel an obligation to MYSELF to take good care of my health and myself. Do I slip? For sure. But my vows and promises included "in sickness and in health, in good times and bad." My marriage vows are based on love and mutual respect, not on a weight contract. She can fuck right off. THIS!!!! She's a horrible human!
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Post by colleen on Sept 22, 2018 21:01:20 GMT
I just read that article and I thought it made a variety of interesting points. It was well written too. The way obese people are treated is horrible.
The one thing that left me scratching my head is that the overall theme seemed to be that if you're fat, there is no cure. You can be healthier, but being slimmer is a pipe dream. I think one thing that leads to "fat prejudice" is that weight is perceived as controllable. I don't think that perception justifies fat shaming, but it's interesting to ponder.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 22, 2018 21:03:43 GMT
When she first started her radio show, Dr. Laura had some good, empowering advice for women. Then, she went right over the edge and became a unrealistic, self-righteous bitch. One of those women who was vocal about what other women should do (for example stay home and raise kids) but never believed her words applied to her. She is completely out of touch with reality and a supreme hypocrite to boot. I listen to a lot of talk radio while I'm working. A variety of things, some things I agree with and some things I disagree with. I like to hear a variety of opinions. When I started this post, I assumed that all of us would agree that the idea of a husband manipulating and blackmailing his wife to comply with his vision of how she should look would be *not* ok with any of us. I assumed no one would even need to say it because it was so out there. I lived with my DH before marriage, I work full time, and I remarried with minor children. All things Dr Laura believes are wrong. So my bringing her up here was not to agree with her. But I will say sometimes she does get it right. She once had a caller with a mother who would make passive aggressive comments like someone in my life does. Her advice was to say in the most pleasant and surprised voice you can muster, oh did you mean to be offensive? I tried it just to see the reaction and I must say I've never seen someone change a topic so fast in my life.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Sept 22, 2018 21:41:31 GMT
I was struck by this line at the very end of the article:
"They beg her to return them to their high school or wedding or first triathlon weight, the one that will bring back their former life."
Many of you know my story. My high school sweetheart asked me to marry him at 18 and I told him he was crazy - we were too young. Fast forward a bunch of life choices and eventually twenty-eight years of no contact between us before we came back into one another's life. He asked me again at age 50 and I said yes. We've been married seven years now.
We surely don't look like we did at age 18-19. At least to other people as well as to ourselves. But to each other? We ARE still that same teenager. It surely has a lot to do with the way our story unfolded, but for us it is true. In reality, we are both 57. He battles weight more than I do. But when I look at him, I see that red-cheeked, brown-eyed offensive lineman all sweaty from the football game. Hopefully, he still sees that long-haired teenage girl when he looks at me.
Weight is such a fraught topic for everyone. But it shouldn't be... any more than race, gender identity, sexual orientation, income, or any other measure. Life is beautiful, but complex. It's hard enough without all these made up designations that divide people. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem we'll ever make it that Utopian society where we just all get along without all the labels that divide us.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
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Post by kibblesandbits on Sept 22, 2018 22:02:54 GMT
Hopefully the Dr. Laura comment won't derail the conversation too much. I love listening to her - she's whack on a lot of things, but also spot on as well. Sometimes her "truth" just plain hurts, but doesn't mean it's wrong.
So. How many of us dieted to get into your wedding dresses? What was your eating/activity/physical fitness like in the months, weeks, days etc prior to your wedding - so that you could look perfect for that special day?
Then, how many us gained weight the first year of marriage? First five years? Gained a bunch during pregnancy and it never came off . Stopped primping and caring what we look like because we got busy being mom, caregiver, wage earner, etc.
Men are visual people. They just are. There's no doubt that quite a few men have felt like they've been flimflammed - nice skinny wives for the ceremony then sweat pants and pony tails ever after. Can you blame them if they feel short changed?
Would you put up with your husband putting on 50, 60, 70 pounds within a few years of your marriage? Serious question. Would you just put up with it? Or would you help him get back to healthy? I know my husband would be asking me some serious questions if I had gained a lot of weight. Same goes for me - I'd be asking the same. We should both be invested in health.
I dunno, seems like sometimes guys just can't catch a break.
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Post by meridon on Sept 22, 2018 22:47:17 GMT
I sometimes feel like my DH is silently criticizing what I eat. He is one of those obnoxious people who is naturally thin or can cut out one thing like soda and drop 15 lbs while it takes me months of counting every calorie to lose that same amount of weight. I know he doesn't mean it to be judgmental, but more as a way to help me achieve my goal of some weight loss. That said, when I've had a bad day, I have been known to tell him that yes, I will be binging on carbs and he's not the fucking food police. Of course, maybe I'm just projecting. I don't think he expects me to be a certain weight, but health and fitness are very important to him and so he wants us to do what we can to be healthy and model healthy habits for our kids. That said, he would never seek to punish me for my weight.....in my state, you can't buy real estate in just one person's name if you are married. I can't imagine being married to someone who would do that because of what it implies to me...that the relationship is based on conditional love rather than unconditional acceptance of a spouse/partner, regardless of weight.
edited to actually answer the question
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Post by mustlovecats on Sept 22, 2018 22:59:36 GMT
My husband and I have both gained and lost and gained over the years, and we love each other with no regard to this. I am grateful.
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Post by Merge on Sept 22, 2018 23:09:45 GMT
I’ve been thinking about this thread for a while because I wanted to sort through my feelings before I posted.
I read the article the OP linked a few days ago and have been pondering that as well.
I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life. When I met and married DH, I was at the lowest weight I’d been in my adult life, but at about a size 10-12, would not have been considered “thin” by most people’s standards. I wore a size 14 through high school. I was fat shamed by my parents, by my school mates, and by society. I went on my first diet at age 11. I’ve had a lifetime of loathing my body and trying to make it conform to what I believed other people would think beautiful.
After we got married, I gained a bit - maybe 10-15 lbs - during a very stressful year. I had just lost it and returned to my wedding weight when I got pregnant. I lost most of the baby weight and got pregnant again. I turned 30. I put on a lot of weight.
DH never said a word. I, however, had such a strong sense of self loathing that I imagined him thinking all sorts of terrible things. I shut down, shut him out, stopped initiating sex because I was embarrassed to be naked. And then I let myself imagine that he just didn’t want me any more and tried to put the blame on him.
There is literally no diet I haven’t tried during my 30-plus years of trying to lose weight. I’ve been shamed by doctors, counselors and dietitians who assume I am lying when I show them my food and activity journal. I came to many of the same conclusions in the OP’s article sometime last year. Eating well and exercising will not make me thin. I do those things anyway because it’s good for my health, and that’s that.
And I’ve also learned, in my mid 40s, that no one gets to define for me or my husband what beautiful is. Men are visual, it’s true. But we do them a huge disservice when we think they can only recognize and appreciate one variety of beauty. Self-care is beautiful. Confidence is sexy. A heavier person who carries themselves confidently and dresses in a body positive way is no less beautiful than a size 2 model with a six pack, in the eye of some beholders. My husband looks at me and likes what he sees. We encourage each other in our efforts to make healthy choices.
No one, including Dr. Laura, gets to tell me that I’m not good enough for my husband. Not any more.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,574
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Sept 22, 2018 23:29:37 GMT
I'm on the flip side of this topic- BF is overweight, diabetic, eats TERRIBLY... It's not about vanity or attraction. I can see the issues he has that could be remedied with dietary/lifestyle changes. I've asked him to eat a certain way with me (Keto right now), because I want to lose weight too. He seems to be trying.
I haven't put it to him as an ultimatum, but I'm considering it. I am not willing to watch him self destruct. I don't want to be 'the law' or his mommy/nutritionist.
I don't accept him, warts and all, when he's so self-destructive. And I feel like a bad person because of it. He has never asked me to change a damn thing about myself, and I'm far from perfect.
Can I justify my feelings? It's a bad idea to try to change people. I'm old enough to know better.
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Post by Tamhugh on Sept 22, 2018 23:40:26 GMT
Hopefully the Dr. Laura comment won't derail the conversation too much. I love listening to her - she's whack on a lot of things, but also spot on as well. Sometimes her "truth" just plain hurts, but doesn't mean it's wrong. So. How many of us dieted to get into your wedding dresses? What was your eating/activity/physical fitness like in the months, weeks, days etc prior to your wedding - so that you could look perfect for that special day? Then, how many us gained weight the first year of marriage? First five years? Gained a bunch during pregnancy and it never came off . Stopped primping and caring what we look like because we got busy being mom, caregiver, wage earner, etc. Men are visual people. They just are. There's no doubt that quite a few men have felt like they've been flimflammed - nice skinny wives for the ceremony then sweat pants and pony tails ever after. Can you blame them if they feel short changed? Would you put up with your husband putting on 50, 60, 70 pounds within a few years of your marriage? Serious question. Would you just put up with it? Or would you help him get back to healthy? I know my husband would be asking me some serious questions if I had gained a lot of weight. Same goes for me - I'd be asking the same. We should both be invested in health. I dunno, seems like sometimes guys just can't catch a break. I was the opposite of most brides. I was actually trying to gain some weight before we got married. At 22 and 5'5" I weighed only 105 lbs and I looked like a little boy. I got pregnant shortly after we were married and was really sick. I lost more weight than I gained and I came home from the hospital too thin again. 4 years later, I had baby #2 and was even sicker and lost more weight. After that pregnancy I packed on quite a bit of weight and then lost it over the years. Perimenopause did a huge number on me and over the past 10 years, I have put on a lot of weight again and I am at my heaviest. I am very unhappy with it. DH has gained just as much or close to as much as I have. Like others have said, when I look at him I don't see the weight as an appearance issue but I do occasionally see it as a health issue and I know he feels the same way. Over the years, we have occasionally said to each other that we need to work together on getting healthier. But neither of us have ever made ultimatums or talked about being unattracted to each other due to our weight. I do encourage our boys to eat healthy and exercise now while they are young and healthy so that they don't struggle later. DS#1 has a girlfriend who is super fit and he has started eating much better since they are together. She tells him she wants him healthy so that they have a really long life together.
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Post by 50offscrapper on Sept 22, 2018 23:42:29 GMT
Yesterday I listened to a Dr. Laura podcast. A caller said she was a stay at home mom and her DH controlled all the finances. They had just bought a new home and her DH didn't put her name on the house. He said, I will put your name on the house if you lose 40 pounds! Dr Laura's response was, I don't know if that's legal but I certainly support him doing it. You made vows and promises and you have changed in a profound way. He doesn't like it. So either you lose the weight or you lose out on your rights to the house. I was 100% shocked. —————-/——————— That is complete bullshit. Part of those vows included “in sickness and in health”. Meaning you love each other no matter what. In my mind and interpretation he is renegotiating on that promise he made to her. And keep in her name off the house as a punishment for being fat? More bullshit and I would be calling a lawyer. If you or your spouse is not happy with the other ones appearance weight wise, the issue can be approached gently, from a place of Love and concern. If my husband decided that he really wanted me to be skinny again, and he came at me with hate and disdain, we would be done. Because all I would hear, is that my husband doesn’t love me anymore, and that he never loved me for me. Only for what I was at the time of our engagement and marriage. Hopefully the stay at home mom lives in a community property state.
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Post by dewryce on Sept 22, 2018 23:45:33 GMT
Beautifully said Merge! Hopefully the Dr. Laura comment won't derail the conversation too much. I love listening to her - she's whack on a lot of things, but also spot on as well. Sometimes her "truth" just plain hurts, but doesn't mean it's wrong. So. How many of us dieted to get into your wedding dresses? What was your eating/activity/physical fitness like in the months, weeks, days etc prior to your wedding - so that you could look perfect for that special day? Then, how many us gained weight the first year of marriage? First five years? Gained a bunch during pregnancy and it never came off . Stopped primping and caring what we look like because we got busy being mom, caregiver, wage earner, etc. Men are visual people. They just are. There's no doubt that quite a few men have felt like they've been flimflammed - nice skinny wives for the ceremony then sweat pants and pony tails ever after. Can you blame them if they feel short changed? Would you put up with your husband putting on 50, 60, 70 pounds within a few years of your marriage? Serious question. Would you just put up with it? Or would you help him get back to healthy? I know my husband would be asking me some serious questions if I had gained a lot of weight. Same goes for me - I'd be asking the same. We should both be invested in health. I dunno, seems like sometimes guys just can't catch a break. A couple of months prior to our wedding I got the DepoProvera shot and gained between 50-60 pounds during that same time period. So no, I definitely wasn't at my lowest. Of course I wanted to look "perfect." I didn't, and my husband still found me beautiful and sexy. I'm having a hard time with the use of the term "short-changed." Frankly, if my husband married me in any large part because of the way I look I feel like I would be the one short-changed, I deserve someone who primarily cares about me for who I am not how I look. Any number of things happen to change the way people look including health issues, accidents, and aging. Should it be okay for anyone to feel short-changed when their spouse becomes less conventionally attractive for those reasons? Of course sexual attraction is a large part of most relationships, but even men can be attracted to, and can find someone imperfect and fat good looking and sexy. Merge said it well, being attractive is so much more than the number on the scale. Serious answer: Personally, I don't see gaining weight as something to "put up" with. Of course we are invested in each other's health and we help each other as much as we can. But we can't do it for the other person, and we can't overcome health issues for each other either. There is a difference in being invested in your partner's health and being unsupportive and saying unkind things to them about their weight. Or, you know, manipulating them by not putting them on the deed to the house until they lose the weight.
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Post by AussieMeg on Sept 23, 2018 1:37:18 GMT
it left me wondering...do you feel an obligation to your spouse to maintain a certain weight? If I was still with my ex then I would have felt pressure (rather than obligation) to maintain my weight. With DSO I don't feel any pressure or obligation. DSO and I are both overweight, and we jokingly call each other fat ****s and have a good laugh about it. I do wish that I was several kilos lighter, but that's more for me than DSO.
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PaperAngel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,365
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Sept 23, 2018 5:20:27 GMT
I've always valued substance over image, so am completely unconcerned if others (including my spouse) dislike my appearance.
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stittsygirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
Location: In the leaves and rain.
Jun 25, 2014 19:57:33 GMT
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Post by stittsygirl on Sept 23, 2018 7:34:24 GMT
Both my husband and I have had weight issues our entire 24 year marriage, so we understand how hard it can be for each other. I currently weigh less than when we married, and he’s staying pretty fit too (from the pics I’ve seen of him in Afghanistan), but I know he’d not make demands about my weight or any other appearance issue unless it was a health/hygiene thing.
We definitely have other marriage issues right now, and I don’t know what our future holds, but neither of our weight gains or losses have ever played a role.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Sept 23, 2018 7:43:38 GMT
My ex-husband has: NO wife NO child NO DDIL, No friends now No good job No good apartment
But hell I am too fat. Oh yeah the money is gone, too. He sure sounds happy. I didn’t tell him about the grand feast and party last night with the sunset and the wine and good fun. Snort.
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Post by hop2 on Sept 23, 2018 13:13:36 GMT
And 20 lbs lighter. And when someone is suddenly single they want to lose weight to attract dates. I think it’s in our (general. Both sexes) to think this way about the spouse that you have. Some people loose weight after a divirce simply because they are in a healthier environment. I assure you I have zero desire to date right now and I have lost weight since my divorce. My blood pressure has also gone down. I haven’t even tried to loose weight. But the freedom to eat whatever I want when ever I want has actually resulted in me eating less. If I want brunch at noon I eat brunch at noon. I’m not up cooking breakfast at 8 because someone else wants it or expects it. If I want a burger at 4 I eat a burger at 4. I don’t have to wait for someone else to come home nor must I cook more things for it to qualify as ‘dinber’ In their opinion. I don’t have to make 2 sides and a carb to make something ‘qualify’ as ‘enough for dinner’. I can literally just have that burger or that bowl of soup or a fried egg. Controlling someone’s life as in the story in the OP can affect a person’s health and weight as well. It depends on how the person reacts to the control. Some people who are in controlling relationships have issues being underweight because that is one area of thier lives they can control so they can develop an eating disorder. I stress ate. Sometimes being free to make your own choices all day every day changes our bodies. It’s not always a desire to attach ones self to a man.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Sept 23, 2018 15:37:07 GMT
Short answer - no - I feel exactly zero obligation to maintain a particular weight for my husband. I am actually really disturbed that anyone would interpret their marriage vows that way. I met my husband when I was a 19 year old college student. Many people discourage people from marrying early - pointing out that you'll change so profoundly in your 20s and I frankly had exactly zero interest in finding a husband in college. But I knew within a few months of meeting my husband that he was someone unique and special and so very compatible with my own idiosyncrasies. We maintained a long distance relationship for almost 2 years as he graduated and started his career - another don't (especially when you're young). We wrote our own vows and talked about love, respect, and commitment. I am so incredibly different than that 19 year old girl (and yes he is very different than that 22 year old boy). But I knew than that we would grow together. That he was a partner I could build a life with and we have done just that. We've faced tragedy. When I think of what we've gone through.... well the idea that one of us would have cared if the other had gained weight... it's really hard to fathom.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 23, 2018 16:11:22 GMT
hop2That is exactly what happened to me all those years ago. I decided to end my marriage and the weight just came off.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Sept 23, 2018 16:48:27 GMT
i have always been slim (come from slim people, not because i was devoted to a certain lifestyle) ... now heading into my late 40s and over the last couple of years my stomach is "fuller" than it has ever been, take a bigger bra band size and a little bit of booty (pretty much lackin' booty my whole life).
STBX made comments about how beautiful i was... but... if i wanted to lose that belly, it would just take focussing on fruits and veggies.
he has ranged in weight from 175 and 220lbs over the years. yes, and a higher hairline. i have gained around 15lbs about 7yrs after having the last of our 3 kids. seriously??
and you know what, it didn't make me feel very good - even though i tried to rationalize it was just him being nitpicky and because he has no filter (two of my least favourite qualities about him). but i still immediately went to the place "oh, he is judging me, i am not good enough".
i can imagine for many women that feeling of judgement must be incredibly difficult.
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 23, 2018 17:15:28 GMT
Dr. Laura is entertaining, because she's so outrageously wrong, not to mention hypocritical. However, there are so many times when I just want to shut her up, because she does more damage than good. People's bodies change. Dh married me, all of me, fat, thin, or otherwise. When I wrinkle does that give dh license to leave and find someone w/o wrinkles? If he goes bald do I get to leave and go find a pool boy? My marriage isn't organized by the way I look. Paying me to lose weight is almost barbaric. What an abusive set up for a relationship. If that woman was to begin psychotherapy there's a good chance that she'd lose the weight and the husband, because w/o him she'll be much happier.
None of us are the same person we were on our wedding day. We all age and our bodies change. That woman needs to do herself a favor and find a man who isn't verbally abusive and controlling. Her self-esteem is at stake for that? Dr. Laura doesn't advocate for women. She advocates for cavemen.
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Post by Zee on Sept 23, 2018 17:29:57 GMT
I'm going to be 100% honest...I do not want an obese spouse and I do not want to be obese myself. If you're not attracted to your partner, your marriage is affected whether we like to admit that or not.
The two of us always seem to be about the same level so if one of us is chubby or fit and thin so is the other. Therefore it's never been an issue in my marriage. Would I still love him if he gained 200 lbs? Yes, but I generally don't find that attractive and it would be an issue. Some big guys carry it well so maybe I'd still find him attractive but I doubt it.
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Post by 50offscrapper on Sept 25, 2018 7:02:04 GMT
Hopefully the Dr. Laura comment won't derail the conversation too much. I love listening to her - she's whack on a lot of things, but also spot on as well. Sometimes her "truth" just plain hurts, but doesn't mean it's wrong. So. How many of us dieted to get into your wedding dresses? What was your eating/activity/physical fitness like in the months, weeks, days etc prior to your wedding - so that you could look perfect for that special day? Then, how many us gained weight the first year of marriage? First five years? Gained a bunch during pregnancy and it never came off . Stopped primping and caring what we look like because we got busy being mom, caregiver, wage earner, etc. Men are visual people. They just are. There's no doubt that quite a few men have felt like they've been flimflammed - nice skinny wives for the ceremony then sweat pants and pony tails ever after. Can you blame them if they feel short changed? Would you put up with your husband putting on 50, 60, 70 pounds within a few years of your marriage? Serious question. Would you just put up with it? Or would you help him get back to healthy? I know my husband would be asking me some serious questions if I had gained a lot of weight. Same goes for me - I'd be asking the same. We should both be invested in health. I dunno, seems like sometimes guys just can't catch a break. One of the guys I worked with had the most beautiful wife. Gorgeous, thin, and nice. Idiot had multiple affairs. They got a divorce. I guess he was just too visual.... not. He just lacked character. We should strive to be healthy not thin! Society needs to stop already. I know thin people with high blood pressure and overweight people with normal blood pressure and low cholesterol. Nothing wrong with working on being your best -and that Co-worker should learn to be less of an Ah and a better person.
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,646
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on Sept 25, 2018 14:08:31 GMT
My husband has gained over 250 pounds due to illness and medication. He went from looking like Clark Gable to Santa Claus. I am the same weight I was when we met, but I went through two pregnancies and a lot of ups and downs in my weight. At one point, I was 70 pounds overweight. My weight is my business and his weight is his. All part of that for better or worse thing. Neither of us has ever brought up the other's weight or said anything negative about it. That's how we roll.
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