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Post by beanbuddymom on Feb 2, 2019 19:19:22 GMT
DD told me this week that she had applied to a semester in Morocco for next year.
I'm beside myself because there is really no way on this God's green earth that I feel even remotely comfortable with any part of this.
It's so far away. It's in an area I'm not comfortable with sending my 19 year old daughter.
That said I told her we had strong opinions but would listen to what information she had on the program. We are hoping she changes her mind and realizes it is a just an impulse for her.
Mind you this is the girl that was going to go to a college across the country and changed her mind, too far. Then decided going to a college out of state 3 hours away was good, then at the last minute decided on a college a half hour from the house. Everything else was too far. And now wants to go halfway across the world.
I realize she's an adult legally and could very well opt to do this on her own but financially she has no ability since we are helping her financially for school - there's no way she can do this from what I see without us signing off on it. Which brings to mind another concern which is financial to that is going to be our first line item. Plane fare for her to get there and back is a lot and we have to be able to consider having money put aside for that in case of emergency etc. My head is spinning.
If any of you had any concrete experience with traveling to Morocco or any knowledge of the country and its current safety I would welcome and appreciate it so I would at least be more informed.
(Say a little prayer for me that she changes her mind and this all goes away).
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,759
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Feb 2, 2019 19:35:10 GMT
We have a pea here who lives there, and has lived in the U.S. so perhaps she can give you some info. allipeasAccording to the UK govt site, 650,000 Britons visit Morocco every year. You could look at the travel advice issued by other countries to their citizens to get a broad view. Someone I know took her three children on a holiday and had a great time. How is her college involved, would there be a group going? |
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Post by MichyM on Feb 2, 2019 19:42:35 GMT
I spent 2 1/2 weeks in Morocco a few years ago. LOVED it and plan to go back and spend even more time there. It is a beautiful country, rich in history, and the people we encountered were lovely! I never felt unsafe. Lost, yes. But unsafe, no. And I don’t even speak Arabic or French. Where is she planning on going?
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Post by mrssmith on Feb 2, 2019 19:43:33 GMT
So basically there are 2 issues: you worry about her safety and the finances. It seems like the finances would be a deal breaker unless there is some sort of scholarship. I think there are safety issues for a single woman going anywhere. I am not sure what the current atmosphere is like in Morocco for women. I would also check to see if there is a group that would be going for any tours etc. I'm sure the program has information on the living situation, safety, etc...
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Post by Basket1lady on Feb 2, 2019 19:43:53 GMT
I can't speak for Morocco specifically myself, but the state department isn't issuing any warnings. What exactly are your concerns for the area? ETA: there is a lot of issues with women traveling in Morocco and specifically Tangiers. Regardless of what the State Department says, I wouldn't be encouraging my DD to travel there. As for finances, both my kids have done or are in the process of study abroad programs. DS went to Poland for J Term 2018. It only cost us an extra $700. We paid a flat fee of $500 to the university and about $200 in spending money. I know it was only for a month, but that was all of his eating meals out, souveniers, etc. For DD, I believe it's only $200 extra for the semester, but she just applied and won't find out until next week if she's accepted. They have one of the top study abroad programs in the country and based on other factors, I doubt it will be much more than that. If she does side trips on the weekends, we will figure that out. I do know there were need based scholarships that the kids could apply for, but neither of my kids qualified. The big potential issue that I see is if she backs out again if she's going that far from home. Is she a sophomore? How has she done being away? Does she still come home a lot? We are big believers in a study abroad program and both kids worked really hard to fit them into their schedules. There is nothing that will develop empathy for another like seeing how they live. Travel shows how different our cultures are and how similar we are all inside. DS couldn't do a semester because they just don't offer engineering classes with SA and he already had a lot of his core classes done when he entered college. DD has planned for this specific SA program from her first week of college, set aside 4 core classes, and we are crossing our fingers that she gets in. |
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muggins
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,861 
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Post by muggins on Feb 2, 2019 19:44:02 GMT
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Post by beanbuddymom on Feb 2, 2019 19:44:22 GMT
These responses are making me feel better. It would be this fall semester for the whole semester. I don't know how large of a group that would be going there, that's one piece of information I need from her. The dorms are right there - it's in Tangiers.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Feb 2, 2019 19:44:58 GMT
Where exactly will she be traveling in Morocco and what are the arrangements, both for living and for any potential travel? I am a seasoned traveler and don't jump to putting my kids in a bubble, but I would be concerned if my daughter was planning to do any solo travel through Morocco. I've heard too many first hand accounts of behavior that can be very disruptive to any kind of enjoyment. It's also a big country, so I would be careful to not lump all experiences together - some cities seem to have more issues than others. I read a blog a while back about a solo travelers experience there and it repeated many of the issues friends have had - I'll see if I can find it. ETA found the article, I'd read the comments as well as it gives a sense of other people's experiences - both good and bad: www.neverendingfootsteps.com/travelling-morocco-solo-female/ |
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Post by beanbuddymom on Feb 2, 2019 19:50:27 GMT
I didn't hear about the beheadings OMG now that is exactly the kind of information and things I think and worry about. |
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Post by beanbuddymom on Feb 2, 2019 19:55:58 GMT
So basically there are 2 issues: you worry about her safety and the finances. It seems like the finances would be a deal breaker unless there is some sort of scholarship. I think there are safety issues for a single woman going anywhere. I am not sure what the current atmosphere is like in Morocco for women. I would also check to see if there is a group that would be going for any tours etc. I'm sure the program has information on the living situation, safety, etc... Yep - DH served in the gulf war so spent an extensive amount of time in the middle east - not Morocco of course but his feelings about his daughter going there anywhere near that area is a big flat no. So that's where safety is an issue - he told me Algeria is on safety alert which is the bordering country, due to terrorism. My feelings of having her so near to that environment is, well, terrifying. I don't know how financial aid works in this scenario. We currently take out student loans in addition to paying for her tuition (parent plus) and my hopes is - because I just want this whole scenario to go away - is that they say no sorry we don't cover overseas semesters so I don't have to be the bad guy. She wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise without both. |
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Post by prapea on Feb 2, 2019 19:57:17 GMT
Did your dd make a blanket statement that she is doing a semester in another country or did she give more details? If I were paying for my kid’s college, I need her/him to give me detailed info (as much ad they know) and how much it will cost me and what they will be learning that semester. I don’t care if she is 19 or 20.
And regarding that article someone posted above, I guess no one should be sending their kids to USA for education. We openly shoot them up in schools and colleges and then offer our thoughts and prayers.🙄
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Post by beanbuddymom on Feb 2, 2019 20:00:20 GMT
Where exactly will she be traveling in Morocco and what are the arrangements, both for living and for any potential travel? I am a seasoned traveler and don't jump to putting my kids in a bubble, but I would be concerned if my daughter was planning to do any solo travel through Morocco. I've heard too many first hand accounts of behavior that can be very disruptive to any kind of enjoyment. It's also a big country, so I would be careful to not lump all experiences together - some cities seem to have more issues than others. I read a blog a while back about a solo travelers experience there and it repeated many of the issues friends have had - I'll see if I can find it. ETA found the article, I'd read the comments as well as it gives a sense of other people's experiences - both good and bad: www.neverendingfootsteps.com/travelling-morocco-solo-female/ It's a semester of education - so there's a dorm and school there in Morocco. She says they may hop over to Spain for a field trip and she has no idea how extensive travel into the city is while there. All information I told her to get as well - she just had a lot of I don't knows for someone deciding to go there. Also I don't know what happens when she returns dorm/roommate wise. If she's gone for a semester where does she live when she returns, how would she have a dorm room etc. How awkward would that be coming back mid year to live with who - right now she has roommates she knows so having to uproot that and live with who? Lots of information she needs to think about. |
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Post by beanbuddymom on Feb 2, 2019 20:07:23 GMT
Did your dd make a blanket statement that she is doing a semester in another country or did she give more details? If I were paying for my kid’s college, I need her/him to give me detailed info (as much ad they know) and how much it will cost me and what they will be learning that semester. I don’t care if she is 19 or 20. And regarding that article someone posted above, I guess no one should be sending their kids to USA for education. We openly shoot them up in schools and colleges and then offer our thoughts and prayers.🙄 She made a blanket statement that she had applied for it, and when I said her scholarships won't cover it she said that the financial aid office said that it would, and there would be no additional costs except for her plane tickets. I told her I was not in favor of it and I wanted to hear more information about it first, and that she needed to think long and hard about it because it's an entire semester in a foreign country. I didn't dwell long because I was trying to enjoy my short visit with her and didn't want to spend it all arguing, so I said we'd talk more about it later but that she wasn't to commit to anything until she talked with me and her father first. I later texted her to remind her that financially we weren't backing her until we heard more information. |
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Post by Basket1lady on Feb 2, 2019 20:11:09 GMT
Where exactly will she be traveling in Morocco and what are the arrangements, both for living and for any potential travel? I am a seasoned traveler and don't jump to putting my kids in a bubble, but I would be concerned if my daughter was planning to do any solo travel through Morocco. I've heard too many first hand accounts of behavior that can be very disruptive to any kind of enjoyment. It's also a big country, so I would be careful to not lump all experiences together - some cities seem to have more issues than others. I read a blog a while back about a solo travelers experience there and it repeated many of the issues friends have had - I'll see if I can find it. ETA found the article, I'd read the comments as well as it gives a sense of other people's experiences - both good and bad: www.neverendingfootsteps.com/travelling-morocco-solo-female/ It's a semester of education - so there's a dorm and school there in Morocco. She says they may hop over to Spain for a field trip and she has no idea how extensive travel into the city is while there. All information I told her to get as well - she just had a lot of I don't knows for someone deciding to go there. Also I don't know what happens when she returns dorm/roommate wise. If she's gone for a semester where does she live when she returns, how would she have a dorm room etc. How awkward would that be coming back mid year to live with who - right now she has roommates she knows so having to uproot that and live with who? Lots of information she needs to think about. For SA, I've seen it both ways. The American student can enroll in the local (host) university and take classes through there. And the American university can have a "campus" overseas and bring over their own professors for the classes. And yes, financial aid should work for a SA. And the American university works with SA students. Basically, the returning student will swap places with another student doing SA, internships, student teaching, those who graduated in December, etc. It can be harder to arrange than asking your bestie to room with you next year, but it can be done if she is motivated. I'll go ask DH if he would encourage DD (also 19) go to Tangiers and if he would require a male escort with her at all times. ETA: Well, I'd listen to your DH. I asked my DH about our DD going to Morocco to SA and his answer was "God, no!" He said that white slavery and human trafficking are the issues. If she were to go, he said never travel anywhere ANYWHERE alone, even on campus. And not only does she need the buddy system, she needs a group of men. DH works with this stuff every day. I'd listen to him. Never mind what the State Dept is saying. If your DD is interested in SA, I'd encourage that. With a plan. She could go in the spring instead. But not to Morocco! |
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Post by MichyM on Feb 2, 2019 20:28:37 GMT
Amending my earlier post now that I know it’s Tangier. I did not go there, had no desire, due to its reputation (google for more info). The recent beheadings wouldn’t scare me off, but the petty crime in Tangier, and that city’s reputation for aggressively harassing foreign females would. Of all the places in Morocco to do study-abroad, i wonder why tangier was chosen.
Regarding cost. My son did study abroad first semester of his junior year. All his scholarships transferred, and he actually came out about 10k better that semester than if he had stayed at his university.
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Post by miominmio on Feb 2, 2019 20:30:42 GMT
I didn't hear about the beheadings OMG now that is exactly the kind of information and things I think and worry about. |
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Post by miominmio on Feb 2, 2019 20:34:20 GMT
I didn't hear about the beheadings OMG now that is exactly the kind of information and things I think and worry about. They were raped before being beheaded. There is no way I would agree to my adult child going there. In fact, I would make her watch that video! And then she can watch the videos from when those two young women were buried, and watch the pain their loved ones are going through. I know you can’t stop her from going, but I would put financial and emotional pressure on her until she promised not to go there. |
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muggins
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,861
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Post by muggins on Feb 2, 2019 20:34:55 GMT
Did your dd make a blanket statement that she is doing a semester in another country or did she give more details? If I were paying for my kid’s college, I need her/him to give me detailed info (as much ad they know) and how much it will cost me and what they will be learning that semester. I don’t care if she is 19 or 20. And regarding that article someone posted above, I guess no one should be sending their kids to USA for education. We openly shoot them up in schools and colleges and then offer our thoughts and prayers.🙄 Personally, having lived in both the UK and the USA, I’m glad my DD chose the go to college in the UK. I’m not a worrier in general, but having been an elementary teacher on three continents, I only ever practiced lockdown drills with my students in the US. |
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Post by Basket1lady on Feb 2, 2019 20:35:01 GMT
I didn't hear about the beheadings OMG now that is exactly the kind of information and things I think and worry about. I hate to seem like I'm passing this off lightly or victim shaming, but those women were engaging in risky behavior. Hiking and camping with local men whom you do not know well at all is a recipe for trouble, IMO. It does sound like ISIS was involved, but this would never be a good idea, even in Small Town, America. |
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Post by MichyM on Feb 2, 2019 20:38:43 GMT
I hate to seem like I'm passing this off lightly or victim shaming, but those women were engaging in risky behavior. Hiking and camping with local men whom you do not know well at all is a recipe for trouble, IMO. It does sound like ISIS was involved, but this would never be a good idea, even in Small Town, America. Agreed. No man or woman, no matter their age should allow strangers into their hotel room, let alone go hiking in a remote area with them. |
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Post by gillyp on Feb 2, 2019 20:43:09 GMT
I went to Tangiers about 10 years ago, just on a days coach trip so my experience is extremely limited. I’m glad I went but I don’t want to go back. I didn’t feel particularly safe there, despite being with a group of other tourists including my husband, brother and sister in law. The traders were persistent and intimidating and got agressive when we didn’t buy anything. My sister in law bought things she didn’t want in the hope the men would leave her alone but more came over. My brother was offered 10 camels for her but that’s what all the tourists say, isn’t it. There were so many back alleys where we were walking - with a guide - that I felt we could easily have been carted off and no one would have had a clue where we were. If she were my daughter I’d be saying hell no! I’ll be interested to see what allipeas says as I don’t think she’s ever been uncomplimentary about Morocco. |
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,759
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Feb 2, 2019 20:52:38 GMT
How experienced a traveller is your dd? Is she a bit streetwise or more naive? That would play into my decision and I'm a big believer in the benefits of travelling to other countries and cultures.
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Post by monklady123 on Feb 2, 2019 21:01:33 GMT
Well....I've traveled a lot, and lived by myself in a remote village in West Africa (in the days before terrorism), and I've traveled alone with dd overseas... and I would hesitate to let her go to Morocco unless I was very sure of the accommodations and the organization of the trip. When I was applying to the Peace Corps (eons ago, but still...like I said, that was back in innocent days) we were told that Morocco was NOT the place to go as a single woman. Of course your dd won't be living alone in some small town/village somewhere, but... So no, I wouldn't be comfortable with my dd going there unless she and the school could assure me that the students would be in a group and supervised at all times when they were out of the dorms. On the other hand, personally I would LOVE to visit there. I know, I'm a contradiction.  |
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Feb 2, 2019 21:12:18 GMT
My sister lived in Morocco for 2 years and loved it.
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Post by ChicagoKTS on Feb 2, 2019 21:13:23 GMT
I spent 2 1/2 weeks in Morocco a few years ago. LOVED it and plan to go back and spend even more time there. It is a beautiful country, rich in history, and the people we encountered were lovely! I never felt unsafe. Lost, yes. But unsafe, no. And I don’t even speak Arabic or French. Where is she planning on going? Same here. We loved every minute of our visit and would love to go back. |
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Post by beanbuddymom on Feb 2, 2019 21:26:15 GMT
How experienced a traveller is your dd? Is she a bit streetwise or more naive? That would play into my decision and I'm a big believer in the benefits of travelling to other countries and cultures. She's only traveled a few road trips with family so not much at all. Not streetwise as far as I would like, though I've been working with her for years on this, I think she's more naive than I would feel necessary for that. She keeps telling me that the school wouldn't send them there if it were unsafe. Sigh. |
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Post by Darcy Collins on Feb 2, 2019 21:43:46 GMT
How experienced a traveller is your dd? Is she a bit streetwise or more naive? That would play into my decision and I'm a big believer in the benefits of travelling to other countries and cultures. She's only traveled a few road trips with family so not much at all. Not streetwise as far as I would like, though I've been working with her for years on this, I think she's more naive than I would feel necessary for that. She keeps telling me that the school wouldn't send them there if it were unsafe. Sigh. What attracts her to Morocco? |
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Post by shannoots on Feb 2, 2019 21:51:59 GMT
Does she have a specific reason for wanting to go to Morocco or does she just want to study abroad in general? Maybe you could find alternatives for her if you aren't comfortable with Morocco. I studied abroad for a semester in Spain and it was the best experience and I would highly recommend studying abroad.
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Post by apmom on Feb 2, 2019 21:54:28 GMT
I would do everything in my power to stop her going. I live in Ireland and would be happy for my daughters to do a semester or Erasmus year in any European country, try and get her to go to Europe, fees are free in Germany and accommodation cheap.
My son wants us to holiday in Morocco and I keep refusing, I wouldn’t be happy or feel safe there and I wouldn’t want my kids there.
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Post by Basket1lady on Feb 2, 2019 22:45:50 GMT
How experienced a traveller is your dd? Is she a bit streetwise or more naive? That would play into my decision and I'm a big believer in the benefits of travelling to other countries and cultures. She's only traveled a few road trips with family so not much at all. Not streetwise as far as I would like, though I've been working with her for years on this, I think she's more naive than I would feel necessary for that. She keeps telling me that the school wouldn't send them there if it were unsafe. Sigh. I thought this too, until DH’s reaction. He’s normally an adventurous guy. He says he would be comfortable traveling there, but not dd. She would probably be fine. But she will be constricted and won’t be able to come and go (at least safely) as she pleases. That sounds romantic now, but I think it would get old. But if that’s the experience that she wants, I’d probably ask for a conference with her and an advisor that is going on the trip. |
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