please pray for my husband again who is in the hospital

I hope you have been able to show your dd and dn this thread. Were you able to do that?

Please update us how your sweetie is settling in at home.

I assume it means fuck off. How charming after all the care and positive thoughts that have been shared here.

WOW  Just wow. Why on Earth would you come here and tell us all that. People who have been NOTHING but supportive to you. You and her can also Fu** OFF.  Remember that the next time you come here and tell us that your DH is back in the hospital and you're all alone and crying hysterically. You can't see what is right in front of you. Your HD is clouding your thinking. 

I’m going to say what we’re all thinking.

I have significant concerns for the safety of this poster and her husband. If the daughter is indeed a nurse aid with eldercare experience, then she knows **** well what those of us on a message board can clearly see. These lovely people need more significant care than a family member (even one with experience) can provide, while trying to maintain their own life/career.

I fear neglect or worse.

O/P, this is not your fault. Your situation breaks my heart and you will continue to be in my prayers.

I wonder how it was presented to her what was said. I'm going to guess she didn't read the thread and that you talked about how everyone was saying "mean" things (which no one was mean, I'm just guessing that's what was said.

I'll be honest it's a lot easier to keep the status quo in any family but that doesn't mean it's healthy! This is not healthy. Change is uncomfortable but it is so worth it in the end and in this case so needed.

What if you both fall at the same time and can't get to a phone or in touch with anyone? At the very bare minimum at least get the life alert bracelets or pendents. None of this stress is healthy for anyone. And love isn't what matters here. They can still love you and visit you in a safe place.

It doesn't mean in any way that you or your husband are "less than" because you need more help than you are currently getting. And I wouldn't rely so much on your daughter and niece. What happens if they find themselves sick with something temporary or permanent and they can't barely take care of themselves? Then what? And stress
does a number on the body.

I hope you can see things clearly one day. But if not I hope it's not at your husband's expense. I hope a social worker or APS gets involved because this isn't safe.

Wow.  I hope she realizes that everyone here has been showing you lots of compassion and has just been concerned not only about your welfare, but that of your husband, your daughter and niece.  No one was trying to be "mean"--just giving you some ideas as this situation seems to be something that causes you great stress and has recurred.     I'm not so much surprised if your daughter said that as she hasn't read the thread, nor known your history here, but more that you'd feel the need to come here and tell us.

Me too...I think there's more to this story. Not sure we are all being told the truth..Am actually feeling manipulated by the OP.  I find it hard to believe that a hospital would release her DH when he is not safe at home. 

me2 .....That is such a GREAT idea, and I'm honestly surprised I hadn't thought of it, too because I arranged for my Dad to have those a few years ago, since he lives alone.

He not only wears one on his wrist, but he has special devices all over his apartment (especially near his shower, which is my biggest worry !) Hopefully, either a social worker/ case manager, or someone in their family will think of that!!!

I'm so sorry she feels that way. All the suggestions for an assisted living situation are meant to make your life, your DH's life, AND your DD's life better. It has nothing to do with her not being willing and able to help care for you.

The reality is you and your DH are going to need more care as you age. If you had help, she can just be your loving daughter again, not a stressed out caregiver. The time you all spend together can be having fun.