casii
Drama Llama
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Post by casii on Jul 10, 2019 17:27:08 GMT
This may be a morbid question, but also an interesting one.
My mom passed away on June 30. She had been very unhealthy for many years. No real answers as to why though I suspect lifestyle choices and an abuse of prescription medications may have contributed. Dad found her unresponsive, dr managed to restart her heart at hospital, they airlifted her to another hospital where tests showed she was brain dead. I flew down ASAP. After removing her from all life support, she was transferred to hospice (those people are angels on earth, I swear) and passed away 2 days later with dad and I there. Then ALL the planning started. Planning a funeral is exhausting. I am still whipped and the funeral was on July 4th. And it brings out the crazy in everyone. I apologized to my children ahead of time for anything I might say or do while completely exhausted & stressed out.
But spending all the time in the funeral home, I saw a few viewings/funerals pass through over the week. They all had the photo slideshows and it was interesting to hear the songs people chose to go along with the photos. One had all hymns, one had country songs, mom had a mix that dad chose.
What would you choose for your own life slideshow? Would you want it to just represent you or also leave a message for loved ones? Keep in mind, there are no wrong answers and no wrong way to grieve. Most funeral homes have a 3 song limit and that's really hard for me.
Me? Definitely Seasons of Love from Rent. After that, maybe I Lived by One Republic and John Legend's Love Me Now, but there are a lot I like and if I had no limits, it'd probably be more songs than I have photos of me in existence! LOL Plus, song meanings change as we change, so my list could easily change.
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J u l e e
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Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Jul 10, 2019 17:31:57 GMT
Casii, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to rest and relax after all the planning and the funeral. (((HUGS)))
I've never thought about songs, so I'm interested to see what other people have thought of. Seasons of Love is a great one!
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hutchfan
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Post by hutchfan on Jul 10, 2019 18:08:34 GMT
So sorry for your loss.
The Funeral home for my family has allowed us to play as many songs as we want. During my mom's visitation we had downloaded songs by her favorite artists playing on rotation very softly and for her funeral we played a couple of specific songs.
I have made a list of songs already for my husband and daughter should something ever happen to me to be played by my favorite artists and it is quite a few.
INXS- Never Tear Us Apart
Gary Allen- Life Ain't Always Beautiful and Pieces
Martina McBride- Independence Day and A Broken Wing
Alan Jackson- Where I Come From
Rob Thomas- Street Corner Symphony
Rick Springfield- Don't Talk To Strangers and Celebrate Youth
The Beatles- Blackbird, Yesterday and John Lennon Imagine
Miranda Lambert - The House That Built Me
These are all songs that are my favorite by these artists I am sure I will add more.
To be honest I hate funerals and I would like my family to have a cookout in the summer honoring me.
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Jul 10, 2019 18:54:00 GMT
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom! Did you find putting the photos and music together healing or helpful in your mourning process?
I've told my husband I do not want a funeral he also does not want one. We both feel it's just a money grabber. We both want to be cremated. He tells me and the boys he wants his ashes put in a KFC bucket LOL. I know funerals are for the surviving but I'm like another pea who posted I'd prefer my kids just had a big party with just the 4 of them and their SO and our grandkids and bullshit about us and what drove them crazy, made them laugh and loved about us.
I am estranged from my entire family and I am not a fan of any of my husband's family. I have a handful of friends I scrapbook with a few times a year but other than that I'm a loner. I had lots of GF and we had several couple friends but over the years they drifted away or decided they were better then us when they quit working with my husband so I have told my kids and husband I'd be super pissed if they spent $ on a funeral so people who don't give a shit about me can come and shed phoney tears. Also when Spencer was extremely ill we soon realized both family and friend wise who truly cared for his and our well being it was a real eye opener.
If they wanted to do a slide show of me I've realized there aren't tons of photos of me for a couple of reasons I'm usually the photographer plus I hate having my photo taken. I rarely see a great photo of me. I'd love if my finds just had photos of times we spent together and just reminisced.
Music wise I'd want songs that I've loved thru my life maybe a few hymns. My boys would probably just go thru my spotify playlists they always tell me I have the best and most eclectic taste in music.
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Post by Tamhugh on Jul 10, 2019 18:57:00 GMT
If not for a slideshow, I have two songs I want played at my memorial. At the end, when they carry out my ashes, I want “Land of Hope and Dreams” by Bruce Springsteen. The other one I would like played is “Supermarket Flowers” by Ed Sheeran. Very touching song.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jul 10, 2019 19:06:27 GMT
I would want it to be a informal casual memorial gathering.
I wouldn't want a slideshow played.
I would want a couple/few long tables (with seating around them) set up with all my scrapbooks, so everyone could view them and reminisce.
My hope would be that someone(a couple of my Nieces) would say a few words, and read a card that I wrote with some parting words and ask that whenever you hear this song, stop for a moment and think of me and the memories we shared, the time we shared, or however we came into each others lives...whether it was for a moment or a lifetime(and everything in between).
The song I want played Garth Brooks "The Dance"
Then, I would want one of my Nieces to say "and now, to honor Auntie's last wish would everyone please gather for a group photo"<< sure bring laughter and eyerolls.
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chendra
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Jun 27, 2014 16:58:50 GMT
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Post by chendra on Jul 10, 2019 19:13:24 GMT
For me, maybe "In My Life" by the Beatles or "What a Wonderful World". Hmm, have to think about it some more and write down the results because I can never remember when asked!
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Post by krcrafts on Jul 10, 2019 19:14:41 GMT
My mom died in January and the funeral home allowed us to play songs on a loop before and during the ceremony, so my dad chose a few and then we asked the rest of the family members for songs that reminded them of her. It was sweet to hear the ones they chose and I think I’d rather my family do that for my service/memorial. I chose one for her which happened to be my ringtone for her...Isn’t She Lovely by Stevie Wonder.
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lesley
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Post by lesley on Jul 10, 2019 19:14:43 GMT
My kids know exactly what I want played at my funeral! Kirsty MacCall's version of Days Leonard Cohen's Take This Waltz The Proclaimers singing I’m On My Way. (A wonderful jaunty song, the first verse of which goes “I'm on my way from misery to happiness today I'm on my way from misery to happiness today I'm on my way to what I want from this world And years from now you'll make it to the next world And everything that you receive up yonder Is what you gave to me the day I wandered")  |
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inkedup
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Post by inkedup on Jul 10, 2019 20:43:15 GMT
My heart goes out to you. Grief is awful, no matter the circumstances. I hope you are able to find peace and comfort in the coming days.
I don't want a funeral. I want my loved ones to have a great party where they eat and drink and find joy even in their grief.
It would be hard to choose just a few songs, but these come to mind:
My maudlin songs:
Yesterday - Beatles
No Hard Feelings - Avett Brothers
Into the Mystic - Van Morrison
Mariachi music
All of the Johnny Cash
My "shake your booty at my party" songs:
Long Skirt, Short Jacket - Cake
Somewhere Beyond the Sea - Bobby Darin
Mariachi music
And All of the Johnny Cash
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Post by papersilly on Jul 10, 2019 21:00:19 GMT
first, sorry for your loss.
when i attended a funeral last year, the memorial video ended with "Take me Home" by John Denver. it was the most perfect song for this man who passed. just perfect. it wasn't sad a song. it was just perfect.
when think of my mom, the words to the song "a bad goodbye" by Clint black and Wynonna. the first part goes like this:
I've been bound to leave you, we've known that for a while
I'm sure it's something I can't do
If I can't leave you with a smile
I don't know how far I'll have to go
'Til I'm sure those eyes won't cry
And in my mind I've left enough to know
That I can't leave you with a bad goodbye
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Post by Skellinton on Jul 10, 2019 21:01:47 GMT
I don’t want a funeral either, I just want my ashes (mixed with my pets ashes) scattered at the beach, but if my family wants me to haunt them because they ga e me a funeral they better pick music I like. Depeche Mode (Waiting for the night to fall) Pet Shop Boys (go West) and something by Olivia Newton
John, probably Suspended In Time, but I wouldn’t mind something from Grease!
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 16:57:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2019 21:12:09 GMT
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mum, grief is exhausting and unpredictable.
I don't want a funeral either but if I had to chose it would be I know it's over by The Smiths.
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Post by Blind Squirrel on Jul 10, 2019 21:17:01 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss. For my husband, we had different country songs he loved; I think we could pick 4 or so. For my dad's slideshow, it was just instrumental.
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Post by dewryce on Jul 10, 2019 21:26:09 GMT
Oh darlin I’m so sorry! Now that you’ve put me on the spot  I can’t think of one. I absolutely adore Seasons of Love, and can think of a few songs from musicals that would put a smile on DH’s face. And I have some favorite of all time songs but while they are uplifting to me they’d be a real downer to anyone listening. Honestly? Off the top of my head I’d want people to wear purple and listen to happy, silly pop songs that make me dance. Good question, will def talk to DH about it. |
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Post by littlemama on Jul 10, 2019 22:03:15 GMT
We had a mix of songs playing in the background before the service started- no slideshow, just the music. BIL found a mix-CD after we tried to access FIL's songs on his computer. Dh and I were the only family members at the funeral home in the beginning. We were talking to someone we did not know, when the song Sexual Healing came on over the speaker. We just talked louder til it was over and I looked at dh when we were away from guests abd said, "Well, at least it wasnt "Lets Get it On". Guess what started playing a few moments later.
Ultimately, we still laugh about it, no one else remembers what was played.
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eastcoastpea
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 10, 2019 22:23:01 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs your way.
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Post by corinne11 on Jul 11, 2019 2:23:52 GMT
Sorry for your loss.  My mum loved Elvis Presley so we played his version of Amazing Grace for the background music along with "arms of an Angel" by Sarah McLachlan. Family was everything to her so we chose Celine Dione - "Because you loved me" to honour how much she loved and supported us all. For my dad's - 'This guy's in love with you" musical version by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass- I remember Dad putting us on his feet and dancing around the living room with us. We chose "pictures of you" by "The last goodnight" - it has a mention of the cure in the lab - my dad had Parkinsons and Altzheimers. I wrote and presented both eulogies and have written up a document ( which I update and change occasionally!) listing my song choices, notes about my life I want mentioned etc. And I loved putting the powerpoints together- we moved to Australia many years ago so most of our family live overseas - it was lovely to share photos and memories with them. I made a powerpoint for my 50th so I just add a few new photos each year so whoever has to do mine won't have a lot to do! Corinne |
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Post by AussieMeg on Jul 11, 2019 2:38:53 GMT
Firstly, I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your mum.  What songs did your dad choose for your mum's service? I've told my husband I do not want a funeral he also does not want one. We both feel it's just a money grabber. We both want to be cremated. He tells me and the boys he wants his ashes put in a KFC bucket LOL. I know funerals are for the surviving but I'm like another pea who posted I'd prefer my kids just had a big party with just the 4 of them and their SO and our grandkids and bullshit about us and what drove them crazy, made them laugh and loved about us. This is exactly the same for me. If I do have a service, I won't be there in the casket. I don't even really want a service, but I guess it depends on my remaining family and whether they feel the need to have one. If I had to choose songs for a slideshow, I would probably have: For a Short Time - Weddings, Parties, Anything In My Life - The Beatles (great suggestion chendra !) And maybe Memories by Elvis if I wanted to make it really sad. Other than that, I would probably choose uplifting songs rather than sad ones. Sorry for your loss. And I loved putting the powerpoints together- we moved to Australia many years ago so most of our family live overseas - it was lovely to share photos and memories with them. I made a powerpoint for my 50th so I just add a few new photos each year so whoever has to do mine won't have a lot to do! That's a great idea corinne11. And the best thing about that is YOU get to choose the photos! I didn't end up having a 50th, but I think I might put together a slideshow anyway. I'm going to start scanning all my old photos and negatives in the next few months, so I can make a start then. |
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Post by mrgiedrnkr on Jul 11, 2019 2:59:55 GMT
first, sorry for your loss. when i attended a funeral last year, the memorial video ended with "Take me Home" by John Denver. it was the most perfect song for this man who passed. just perfect. it wasn't sad a song. it was just perfect. when think of my mom, the words to the song "a bad goodbye" by Clint black and Wynonna. the first part goes like this: I've been bound to leave you, we've known that for a while
I'm sure it's something I can't do
If I can't leave you with a smile
I don't know how far I'll have to go
'Til I'm sure those eyes won't cry
And in my mind I've left enough to know
That I can't leave you with a bad goodbyeI love this song - listen to it a lot. I had never thought about it in terms of a death. I like that vision better than breaking up. |
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 11, 2019 3:26:26 GMT
I would want happy, funny songs. Like the kind you would tell Dick Clark get an 87. I really don't like sad songs at funerals. It is already sad enough.
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 11, 2019 3:27:05 GMT
My kids know exactly what I want played at my funeral! Kirsty MacCall's version of Days Leonard Cohen's Take This Waltz The Proclaimers singing I’m On My Way. (A wonderful jaunty song, the first verse of which goes “I'm on my way from misery to happiness today I'm on my way from misery to happiness today I'm on my way to what I want from this world And years from now you'll make it to the next world And everything that you receive up yonder Is what you gave to me the day I wandered")  Love the Proclaimers, but I go all Shrek on this song. |
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Post by finsup on Jul 11, 2019 3:27:53 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss. The song I want at my funeral is Warren Zevon's Keep Me in Your Heart. My brother wants Spirit in the Sky. My mom was a Josh Groban fan so we used The Prayer and To Where You Are.
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Post by finsup on Jul 11, 2019 3:30:22 GMT
I would want happy, funny songs. Like the kind you would tell Dick Clark get an 87. I really don't like sad songs at funerals. It is already sad enough. My dad used to say that at his funeral he wanted everybody crying but didn't want them to be sad lol. Sorry, Dad, I was crying AND I was sad. |
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 11, 2019 3:33:59 GMT
I would want happy, funny songs. Like the kind you would tell Dick Clark get an 87. I really don't like sad songs at funerals. It is already sad enough. My dad used to say that at his funeral he wanted everybody crying but didn't want them to be sad lol. Sorry, Dad, I was crying AND I was sad. If I know when I am checking out, I will plan a fun funeral. Well, as fun as a Lutheran can have. At my mom's funeral, I didn't pack any underwear and had to wear my husband's underwear since I didn't figure out the issue until we were leaving for the funeral. I kind of want everyone to wear someone else's underwear. It makes for a very interesting few hours. |
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samantha25
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Post by samantha25 on Jul 11, 2019 3:34:13 GMT
No slide show for me. I like to make slide shows in the living to share..after death seems weird.
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inkedup
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Post by inkedup on Jul 11, 2019 3:43:17 GMT
My dad used to say that at his funeral he wanted everybody crying but didn't want them to be sad lol. Sorry, Dad, I was crying AND I was sad. If I know when I am checking out, I will plan a fun funeral. Well, as fun as a Lutheran can have. At my mom's funeral, I didn't pack any underwear and had to wear my husband's underwear since I didn't figure out the issue until we were leaving for the funeral. I kind of want everyone to wear someone else's underwear. It makes for a very interesting few hours. What a funny memory. That would be a hilarious request! |
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PrettyInPeank
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jul 11, 2019 3:48:19 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope things are settling down for your family now.
I thought about your question and it's tough one. I guess Good Riddance would be appropriate. Relatable, but not necessarily sorrowful?
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Post by mom on Jul 11, 2019 3:54:19 GMT
I am really sorry for your loss, casii Honestly, I haven't though of what music I would want. Probably some 80's rock before the service began. I know I don't want anything sad. In fact, my DH knows that I want to have snow cones served at my service - you can't be sad while eating a a snow cone. |
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Post by papersilly on Jul 11, 2019 4:09:22 GMT
first, sorry for your loss. when i attended a funeral last year, the memorial video ended with "Take me Home" by John Denver. it was the most perfect song for this man who passed. just perfect. it wasn't sad a song. it was just perfect. when think of my mom, the words to the song "a bad goodbye" by Clint black and Wynonna. the first part goes like this: I've been bound to leave you, we've known that for a while
I'm sure it's something I can't do
If I can't leave you with a smile
I don't know how far I'll have to go
'Til I'm sure those eyes won't cry
And in my mind I've left enough to know
That I can't leave you with a bad goodbyeI love this song - listen to it a lot. I had never thought about it in terms of a death. I like that vision better than breaking up. Funny but I never saw it as anything but a memorial song. It didn't even dawn on me that it was a breakup song until you said it. Funny what we associate songs with. |
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I can’t think of one. I absolutely adore Seasons of Love, and can think of a few songs from musicals that would put a smile on DH’s face. And I have some favorite of all time songs but while they are uplifting to me they’d be a real downer to anyone listening. Honestly? Off the top of my head I’d want people to wear purple and listen to happy, silly pop songs that make me dance. 
What songs did your dad choose for your mum's service? 
