pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,936
Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
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Post by pilcas on Aug 31, 2019 0:18:30 GMT
Not ok on the mother’s part at all and very, very foolish. If you want to sleep in peace, don’t host a sleepover, but certainly do not drug other people’s kids. Even more awful that the mother still pressured her even knowing you had said no. I would definitely say something and would be hesitant to let my child sleep over again.
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Post by chaosisapony on Aug 31, 2019 0:26:30 GMT
Oh hell no. No, no, no. That is not ok! I don't even have kids and I am horrified by the fact that the parent was passing around over the counter sleeping aids. That is so inappropriate!
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Post by stormycat on Aug 31, 2019 0:27:48 GMT
I’m going to chime in on Melatonin and kids from another perspective.
My 3 yr old had a serious, near fatal brain injury as a baby. He now has Epilepsy as well. Lack of sleep can be a trigger for some epileptics. My sons brain is always wired, without medication I’m not sure he would sleep more then a few hours. As it is now he wakes up 3-4 times a night and is up for the day at 5 am. He also takes other meds that should make you sleepy - Onfi for Seizures and Gabapentin for nerve pain, he still doesn’t sleep.
We have had a sleep study gone plus other tests. We have seen a sleep Behavioral specialist, and a sleep Psychiatrist. We have the colored nightlight on when it’s ok to wake and use a weighted blanket. This has been going on since we started fostering him at 10 weeks old.
Nothing helps, they are going to be prescribing him a sleep med. do I want to give more meds to my 3 yr old, no of course not. He needs to sleep though.
———
Now onto the other mom giving a kid that is not here meds. I would be furious. Of course my situation is different because we are on meds, we have to watch for interactions and meds that lower the seizure threshold such as Benadryl.
What if she had some reaction to it? But not even that, you should never give someone else’s kids meds?
Are you even sure it was a melatonin gummy? They make CBD oil gummies as well.
Again I would be very upset being in my situation , I would be having a good talk with the other mom and again with your daughter.
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,706
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
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Post by Dani-Mani on Aug 31, 2019 0:28:15 GMT
How old is your daughter? In the grand scheme of things, it was just a melatonin gummy and I'm assuming no harm was done? BUT - WHY would the mom offer them to the other kids? Her children are one thing, but not the others. I took vitamins when I was a kid and my parents didn't ask my friends if they wanted to take them too. I think that's very odd. I wonder if because they were gummies if the other children were asking to take them? She's 10. In the grand scheme of things, yeah, just a gummy. But I don't think she exaggerated the pressure from the mom. When I dropped her off at 5, I think she tried to convince me to have a margarita 5 different times. She won't be staying the night there again. Please do not fall for the “it’s just a gummy.” It’s a medication for SLEEP nonetheless and your daughter is a non-consenting adult who has zero idea what this medication can do to her or her body. If she needs a sleep supplement, that’s for you and her doctor to decide. If she offered her a fever reducer for a fever or something for pain if she hurt herself, I’d be more inclined to say “it’s just...” But a sleep supplement? HELL no. She’d never be going to that house again.
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Post by roberta on Aug 31, 2019 0:45:21 GMT
The other mom knew you said no and still pressured your dd to take it!! I would be livid! WTH! That is extremely irresponsible and showing poor judgment. Something serious could have happened. You are wise to ban your dd from another sleepover there.
Agree it is an important teaching moment for your dd especially that adults don’t always know best. Your dd is old enough to realize your directions take precedence over another adult’s. Your dd did great by asking you to begin with and do emphasize that. Would a role play where your dd just says no thank you over and over be helpful. I have found that giving reasons allows for arguments why you should. Just politely say no thank you! You do not owe anyone an explanation.
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,885
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Aug 31, 2019 0:54:48 GMT
I would be pissed. The parent crossed the line. Who the hell gives a slumber party melatonin to make them sleep? That's out of line.
With that said, I would turn this in to a teaching moment. 10 is a good age to start talking about peer pressure and taking something, whether it's melatonin now or drugs 5 years from now.
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Post by curiouscrafter on Aug 31, 2019 0:58:50 GMT
Oh hell no. Not okay. So wrong and I would be telling that mother that, relationship or not. Especially after your DD texted you! Oh hell no
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Post by jeremysgirl on Aug 31, 2019 1:16:39 GMT
At first thought, I bristled at the idea of giving another child medication. And I have no knowledge of or experience with melatonin. So I can't rate the severity of the offense.
But thinking back on when my children were younger, my DD suffered from headaches. I would have thought nothing of giving a child (who I knew and knew the parents) complaining of a headache a dose of Motrin. And I absolutely wouldn't have thought twice about a friend doing the same for my child.
I can definitely see where this may be overstepping. But, at the time, I'm not sure I wouldn't have thought that harmless. So really, I think I would probably take the approach of asking the mother about this. And sharing that you are uncomfortable with it and absolutely won't allow it in the future before I got really upset and made a sweeping rule that sleepovers wouldn't be allowed.
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,228
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on Aug 31, 2019 1:23:24 GMT
I'd be livid!!! When my older daughter started sleeping out years ago, I remember her coming home and saying her friend's Mom gave her vitamins in the morning. I never said anything and thought maybe I was crazy, but I was kinda pissed. Who gives someone else's kid their vitamin of choice? WTF? So thank you, this thread, for justifying my feelings like a decade later. And I NEVER give someone else's kid Tylenol or Motrin without contacting the parent first! How do you know they're not allergic??
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scrappinghappy
Pearl Clutcher
“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say “Hello.” Goodbye. I’m late...."
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Jun 26, 2014 19:30:06 GMT
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Post by scrappinghappy on Aug 31, 2019 1:32:49 GMT
Also, why the fuck do you *offer* to host a slumber party and then give the kids sleeping pills at 10:30?!? You signed up for an all nighter. You don’t get to just drug the kids so you don’t have to do what you signed up to do. This. In ye olde days when I slept over, we'd set up tents out on the deck - or in the basement, during bad weather. Outside kids = can play and talk as long as they want, and the grownups can sleep in peace. In the end it's a good thing this happened with a relatively harmless substance at an early age - a good teachable moment to point out what all parties involved did wrong. The friend's mother shouldn't have pushed, your daughter should have followed your advice, and I'll also suggest that you should have included the 'why' with your no. Telling your kids the reasons why you're making choices not only makes it more likely they'll follow the rules, but it teaches them the logic behind them. I'd also add that your kids should be able to call home with an innocent phrase that means, to you, come get me now!! This from the time they start with sleepovers right through high school when it's not melatonin, but possibly drugs and or alcohol. My kids knew when they were 10-14 at sleepovers they could ask the parent to call to say goodnight, then say something like "I love you a million times over", and we knew to come get them. Our normal goodnight included "love you to the moon and back and to infinity". In high school my girls would ask me to bring them Aunt Flo stuff and I would be there like a shot with it. They could then leave with me if they needed to.
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,176
Location: Alabama
Jan 29, 2015 16:24:49 GMT
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Post by janeinbama on Aug 31, 2019 2:20:49 GMT
I agree, the mom was way out of line. Drinking any alcoholic beverages while you are hosting a 10 yo slumber party!!!! NO, NO, NO, NO.
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,931
Jun 27, 2014 19:06:19 GMT
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Post by samantha25 on Aug 31, 2019 2:21:26 GMT
Isn't "peer pressure" coming from a kids' peer... not a parent? It's not peer pressure. I would also question whether sleep overs are appropriate for 10 year olds... no matter if a family friend or not. No sleep overs for my ten year old. Not putting them in that situation.
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Aug 31, 2019 2:35:51 GMT
Very bad judgement on the part of the adult.
However, they do indeed make melatonin gummies for kiddos this age. My granddaughter went through a stage of not going to sleep until very late when she was 3 and my daughter got them for her. I'll also say that an adverse reaction to melatonin is pretty rare. So try not to worry about your daughter being overdosed or anything.
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Post by scrapmaven on Aug 31, 2019 2:38:31 GMT
What kind of mother pressures someone else's kid into doing a drug or supplement? Way to teach your child to give into peer pressure when offered drugs. WOW! This is a teaching moment w/your dd. Now you can talk to her about giving into peer pressure and doing drugs. It opens a door to teach your dd how to be strong and assertive and not succumb to everyone's whim. I'm really angry at that mom. No way would my kid be going back there and I would let the mom know how inappropriate and just plain wrong she was. Grrrr.... Did she take stupid pills for breakfast?
Just a gummy? How many illegal drugs are couched in gummies and sweet stuff? Now I'm even angrier.
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Post by gritzi on Aug 31, 2019 2:48:22 GMT
I would be pea livid and quite frankly, not give a shit about maintaining a relationship. You're the mom and said NO. There were reasons you said no. NO melatonin should have been given to any child who wasn't a child to that mother. Period! That mom could have been in deep shit had your daughter suffered a negative reaction.
I see no difference in the children administered melatonin at a sleepover than a daycare provider giving the kids benadryl prior to naptime. Very negligent IMO!!
There's no way my daughter would be left alone in her care/group activity.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 23:52:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2019 2:53:39 GMT
Wow. Let’s just give all of them a big dose of Benadryl so they will sleep & be quiet!
No.. no and no.
That’s a friendship ender for me.
And the drinking while in charge of other people’s kids?
Another hard no.
But this is a great teaching moment for you & your daughter.
Maybe even the end to sleepovers.
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Post by Dictionary on Aug 31, 2019 2:54:45 GMT
Wow, just wow, why this woman felt that it was better to allow your daughter to eat something because she was being pressured..the mom should have stood up for her no big deal or not (to her) what's next alcohol or marijuana, just do it because everyone else is. I'm sorry you had to go through with it but honestly I would be rethinking this friendship.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Aug 31, 2019 3:08:26 GMT
I have given kids that sleep over tylenol, ibuprofen, benadryl and zyrtec. All over the counter. All kids I know well and whose parents I know well. Some situations call for it. I am an experienced pediatric nurse, I wouldn't want to be called at 1am to be asked if my daughter could have tylenol for her headache and I assuming parents who put a child into my care would trust me enough to evaluate/assess their kids. Like I said though, these are folks I know well and we have developed a lot of trust over the years.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 23:52:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2019 3:11:11 GMT
I have given kids that sleep over tylenol, ibuprofen, benadryl and zyrtec. All over the counter. All kids I know well and whose parents I know well. Some situations call for it. I am an experienced pediatric nurse, I wouldn't want to be called at 1am to be asked if my daughter could have tylenol for her headache and I assuming parents who put a child into my care would trust me enough to evaluate/assess their kids. Like I said though, these are folks I know well and we have developed a lot of trust over the years. Nope! Don’t give my kid ANY drug without calling me first even if it’s in the middle of the night.
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PaperAngel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,386
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Aug 31, 2019 3:25:30 GMT
Please reconsider the importance of maintaining a close relationship with an adult who was drinking while hosting a sleepover & pushing pills onto a bunch of 10 year old girls. Also, reinforce with your daughter that she should never take pills from anyone, except as prescribed by her doctor or given by her grand-/parents because no one else is aware of her allergies/medical history/etc, & role play words/actions if she feels pressured in the future by her friends, their parents, teachers/coaches, or strangers to say/do/accept anything that makes her uncomfortable or is knowingly against your wishes.
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Post by scrappinmom3 on Aug 31, 2019 3:43:22 GMT
Nope. Not okay.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,466
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Aug 31, 2019 3:56:02 GMT
Am I the only person who wonders why in the world this mom would give her children melatonin every night? That doesn't seem very responsible. Which in turn would make me question some of her other choices. I'm not opposed to melatonin. I take it myself from time to time but I don't give it to my children because even if it doesn't cause a physical addiction I feel like it could cause some sort of an emotional dependence on it if they take it every night. These kids are too young to reason that they can fall asleep without it if mommy is giving it to them every night. I had a hard enough time getting my youngest to fall asleep without his favorite blanket when it got lost. I surely don't need to make them dependent on some damn gummy. Not giving the friend of the OP any sort of out. I think she was completely in the wrong. But, my 8 year old takes 2.5mg melatonin nightly. She takes it at 8 and is still wide awake at 10 most nights. She’s only 43 lbs so I don’t want to give more. I do worry about the long term effects but this kid would NEVER sleep without it!
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Post by lucyg on Aug 31, 2019 4:12:05 GMT
I have given kids that sleep over tylenol, ibuprofen, benadryl and zyrtec. All over the counter. All kids I know well and whose parents I know well. Some situations call for it. I am an experienced pediatric nurse, I wouldn't want to be called at 1am to be asked if my daughter could have tylenol for her headache and I assuming parents who put a child into my care would trust me enough to evaluate/assess their kids. Like I said though, these are folks I know well and we have developed a lot of trust over the years. Nope! Don’t give my kid ANY drug without calling me first even if it’s in the middle of the night. For the record, Country Ham, you can feel free to give my kid any of the listed meds as needed. If he were allergic to one of them, I would have told you before leaving him in your care. And I would feel perfectly safe leaving his care in the hands of a pediatric nurse whom I presumably knew well. I have never seen such a bunch of helicopter parents as I’ve been reading about on 2peas tonight. NB this does not mean I approve of random parents pushing a group of kids to take melatonin against the wishes of their own parents. On the other hand, I’m also wondering how much of it was peer/hostess pressure and how much was actually the kid deciding to ignore mom’s dissent, and then blaming the others.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Aug 31, 2019 4:34:46 GMT
Another thought....why was taking a melatonin gummy made out to be fun or something that all of the girls should want to do? Seems to me that even if the host takes melatonin every night, she could/should have been given it in private.
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Post by mom on Aug 31, 2019 5:01:54 GMT
Nope! Don’t give my kid ANY drug without calling me first even if it’s in the middle of the night. For the record, Country Ham , you can feel free to give my kid any of the listed meds as needed. If he were allergic to one of them, I would have told you before leaving him in your care. And I would feel perfectly safe leaving his care in the hands of a pediatric nurse whom I presumably knew well. I have never seen such a bunch of helicopter parents as I’ve been reading about on 2peas tonight. NB this does not mean I approve of random parents pushing a group of kids to take melatonin against the wishes of their own parents. On the other hand, I’m also wondering how much of it was peer/hostess pressure and how much was actually the kid deciding to ignore mom’s dissent, and then blaming the others.This is 100% where I am. The daughter knew mom said no and still did it anyway. And I will be honest - if the OP was so upset that she wanted to pull here kid out of her sleeping bag and bring her home, then she should have. Who cares if the mom got mad or not. If you felt that strongly about it, then thats what you do. There is no one that you MUST maintain a relationship with if you truly felt your child was in danger. I don't give two f*cks about who my kid dances with. If I *truly* felt they were in danger, I am stepping in.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 23:52:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2019 6:20:45 GMT
I have given kids that sleep over tylenol, ibuprofen, benadryl and zyrtec. All over the counter. All kids I know well and whose parents I know well. Some situations call for it. I am an experienced pediatric nurse, I wouldn't want to be called at 1am to be asked if my daughter could have tylenol for her headache and I assuming parents who put a child into my care would trust me enough to evaluate/assess their kids. Like I said though, these are folks I know well and we have developed a lot of trust over the years. I'm far from a helicopter parent (trust me on that) but even as a pediatric nurse you might not know the allergies or interactions that my children have had with certain drugs. It isn't like I drop them off with a copy of their medical history. If I dropped my child off and they were feeling fine I would never expect to tell you that they had a reaction to Zyrtec a year ago. That might change depending on how close you are but I know that my kids often have newer friends over for sleepovers as their friendships develop. I don't know their past medical history and their parents might tell me they have a peanut allergy but not every detail of their medical past because who would expect that medications would be given to someone else's child without calling the parent. If I trusted you enough for my child to spend the night I would trust if you called me and said that you think they need a dose of whatever. But it's really not anyones role to medicate my child without my prior knowledge unless it is an absolute emergency.
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,749
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Aug 31, 2019 6:45:50 GMT
A melatonin gummy; could it have been worse? Yes.
Does it make it right? Hell to the no.
Sounds like that mommy is overusing a crutch to get her kid(s) to sleep which is her choice/her kids but she is overstepping with kids other than her own.
And who the hell has kids over for a sleepover and actually expects sleep as normal?
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theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,411
Jun 26, 2014 12:50:12 GMT
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Post by theshyone on Aug 31, 2019 7:14:19 GMT
I have given kids that sleep over tylenol, ibuprofen, benadryl and zyrtec. All over the counter. All kids I know well and whose parents I know well. Some situations call for it. I am an experienced pediatric nurse, I wouldn't want to be called at 1am to be asked if my daughter could have tylenol for her headache and I assuming parents who put a child into my care would trust me enough to evaluate/assess their kids. Like I said though, these are folks I know well and we have developed a lot of trust over the years. I wouldn’t want any drugs given to either of my kids. Melatonin was tried at an early age with her, and she had extreme nightmares from it. Screaming terror filled dreams, just what one would want at a sleepover. Bad reactions do happen. My kid has a cardiac condition and can’t take Benadryl, and so so many other drugs. Sleepovers up and stopped when she was diagnosed as parents were terrified of hosting her. as a parent I have issues with you leaving her with a host already drinking margaritas. Hell no.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 31, 2019 9:52:08 GMT
What the hell😠 It is never okay to give supplements or medication to someone else's child without prior permission. I'll be honest, I wouldn't let my kid stay there again. Poor judgement from the other parent is a hazard. This. What on earth ......?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 23:52:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2019 10:45:52 GMT
I'd be furious if anyone gave my kids medication of any kind without checking with me first. If she was prepared to have a sleepover with a bunch of 10 year olds she should have been prepared to have a sleepless night......that's the fun of having a sleepover in any childs mind, they laugh and giggle well into the night, usually. I've had many a sleep over over the years and I'm well prepared for that laughter and giggling until well past midnight and beyond sometime. They usually settle down after being told a couple of times though.
I don't blame the child here, peer pressure can be quite strong at that age. The Mum should have taken it on board and accepted that you (OP)said no and told the kids to stop the pressure. She shouldn't have undermined your instructions. What kind of mum does that?
I can't believe how many of you think that giving otherwise healthy kids Melatonin is no big deal. Giving kids anything that interrupt the normal function of their body without a medical reason to do so is wrong IMO. Thankfully it's a prescription only drug in the UK and very unusual to be prescribed to kids.
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