zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Aug 31, 2019 20:12:10 GMT
Very bad judgement on the part of the adult. However, they do indeed make melatonin gummies for kiddos this age. My granddaughter went through a stage of not going to sleep until very late when she was 3 and my daughter got them for her. I'll also say that an adverse reaction to melatonin is pretty rare. So try not to worry about your daughter being overdosed or anything. This is bullshit. Melatonin is to induce sleep. It’s not fucking candy, or just a harmless gummy. You don’t go giving someone else’s child fucking sleep inducing anything without the express permission from their parent. No need to be nasty. It's a hormone we make anyway, not a drug. I didn't want mom to worry that her daughter was given anything dangerous or an inappropriate dose. I don't know for sure it was the kiddie gummies, but I suspect so. I was trying to reassure mom so she didn't worry so much. I also said it was very bad judgment on the part of the parent. Chill and don't get your knickers in a twist about what you THINK I said, which I didn't.
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Post by Embri on Aug 31, 2019 21:10:16 GMT
No more sleepovers at this particular friend's house is entirely reasonable due to the issues with the mother's behaviour, but an all-out ban feels punitive. Taking initiative yourself to make your wishes clear to any future parents with whom your daughter might be under temporary guardianship should prevent this from happening in the future? *shrugs* I don't know, I'm not in your shoes - but I have been a kid, and been punished for things that weren't my fault or out of my control, and those kinds of memories stay with you well into adulthood.
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Post by Marina on Aug 31, 2019 21:34:45 GMT
No more sleepovers period? I would approach this more as a learning experience vs. being punitive. Really it was the mom who was seriously at fault here. And yes of course they are tired and cranky. We said yes to events when it wasn't the day before something else. We also said they would need to take a nap when they got home. I would also talk with her when she's not a "hot mess".
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Post by fiddlesticks on Aug 31, 2019 23:26:25 GMT
No more sleepovers period? I would approach this more as a learning experience vs. being punitive. Really it was the mom who was seriously at fault here. And yes of course they are tired and cranky. We said yes to events when it wasn't the day before something else. We also said they would need to take a nap when they got home. I would also talk with her when she's not a "hot mess". Sorry. No sleepovers there is what I meant!
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Post by freecharlie on Sept 1, 2019 0:11:03 GMT
My kids are 15 and 18. I wouldn't have any issue with one of their friend's parents giving them something like tylenol or advil.
But in this case you said no and that should have been good enough. And the mom shouldn't have offered to all the girls. I have no idea why she would have done that.
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Deleted
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Jun 2, 2024 2:20:54 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2019 0:17:56 GMT
I think this is an eye opener for your and your DD.
Peer pressure can come from anyone, including adults you know and trust. It is up to your daughter to build the strength and confidence to say "NO' when the bigger situations come down the road.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 2:20:54 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2019 0:31:48 GMT
While I can understand this perspective and your experience, here’s the kicker in this situation... There was nothing wrong with the OP’s daughter that she needed to be coerced, shamed, “sad little face” bullshit into taking Melatonin for absolutely no reason other than to “fit in”. I was more talking about peas who said never is anyone to ever to give their kid a medication. I couldn't imagine letting a kid suffer with allergies until you reached someone. That could sometimes take an hour. I can't imagine that a child with such a sever allergy wouldn't be carrying their own meds with them. My nephew suffers really badly with hay fever throughout the summer.So badly at times that his eyes are so swollen they're nearly closed. There are some antihistamines that he can't take. He'd be pretty uncomfortable if he got to that state but he's not going to die in that hour if he's forgotten to take some of his own meds with him. You giving him something from you cupboard could possibly make him worse if it was ones he can't take.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Sept 1, 2019 1:34:01 GMT
This is bullshit. Melatonin is to induce sleep. It’s not fucking candy, or just a harmless gummy. You don’t go giving someone else’s child fucking sleep inducing anything without the express permission from their parent. No need to be nasty. It's a hormone we make anyway, not a drug. I didn't want mom to worry that her daughter was given anything dangerous or an inappropriate dose. I don't know for sure it was the kiddie gummies, but I suspect so. I was trying to reassure mom so she didn't worry so much. I also said it was very bad judgment on the part of the parent. Chill and don't get your knickers in a twist about what you THINK I said, which I didn't. It’s not being nasty it’s being angry at ignorance. I stand by my response to your post. And you continue to be promoting the fact that it’s not a big deal “that it is not a drug, that she didn’t have an incorrect dose”—how would you know? The OP said nothing that would indicate what the dosage was. You are ignorant to the fact that melatonin is a sleep inducing agent. It’s not candy. In other countries it’s a controlled drug/substance. It should not be taken without first checking with a doctor (same with any supplements or vitamins). Melatonin can cause seizures in some people. Melatonin has side affects —headache, making depression worse, irritability, sleeplessness, anxiety, mood swings. You have not a clue how someone could react to any if that stuff. The point is that it’s taken to induce sleep. The sole purpose of taking melatonin. That mother giving it out was giving it to induce the sleep of those children.
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teddyw
Drama Llama
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Jun 29, 2014 1:56:04 GMT
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Post by teddyw on Sept 1, 2019 2:29:08 GMT
I have given kids that sleep over tylenol, ibuprofen, benadryl and zyrtec. All over the counter. All kids I know well and whose parents I know well. Some situations call for it. I am an experienced pediatric nurse, I wouldn't want to be called at 1am to be asked if my daughter could have tylenol for her headache and I assuming parents who put a child into my care would trust me enough to evaluate/assess their kids. Like I said though, these are folks I know well and we have developed a lot of trust over the years. I always told my kids call me at any time day or night at sleepovers. And they did especially if they wanted to leave. I only ever gave other people’s kids medication if the parent provided it and told me about it. I’m still surprised this mom medicates her kids for sleep every night. I can see if there’s some type of sleep disorder like another poster’s son.
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Sept 1, 2019 8:42:25 GMT
Only just finished page 1 & agree with everyone.
Confession: prior to this thread I'd never even heard of melatonin.
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styxgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,878
Jun 27, 2014 4:51:44 GMT
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Post by styxgirl on Sept 1, 2019 13:52:01 GMT
Just read the OP and the update. Not even sure how old your DD is. 8-12 ish?
Anyway, with the history of addiction you mentioned, you could also look at this as a teaching tool for your DD ...
A way to show her how to deal with peer pressure in the future. Drugs, booze, risky behavior. Give her ideas, tools and arm her w/ knowledge using this situation as an example.
While I do think the mom was wayyyy wrong in giving stuff to the kids without asking, it’s something normal for their family. Like a vitamin.
Hope it all blows over soon. Sounds like a great learning experience for everyone involved.
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Sept 1, 2019 19:17:34 GMT
No, it's a supplement. Not a drug. If it was a drug it would be controlled by the FDC. It's not.
I am not in any way, shape or form supporting or excusing that mother's actions. She shouldn't have given the child anything without checking with her parent. Period. As I said, I was merely trying to assuage the kid's mom's worry. That's all.
And eff your "ignorance." I do know the difference between meds and supplements, and yes, I'm aware supplements can have side effects. I have a freaking BSN. I've studied pharmacology. Have you?
This is an example of the unnecessary nastiness that drove me away from this board for months. This is a pretty recent thing, IMO. It used to be supportive, kind, nice. Now there are way too many instances of just plain mean comments.
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Post by sasha on Sept 1, 2019 19:53:58 GMT
Wow, so basically the mom just wanted all of them to go to sleep. No other reason she would offer them to the other kids. What an ass!
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Post by freecharlie on Sept 1, 2019 20:02:55 GMT
Wow, so basically the mom just wanted all of them to go to sleep. No other reason she would offer them to the other kids. What an ass! I'm the type of mom that as long as they don't keep me up, they can stay up as long as they want during sleepovers. Can't imagine giving them something to sleep.
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Post by mustlovecats on Sept 1, 2019 20:11:26 GMT
This is bullshit. Melatonin is to induce sleep. It’s not fucking candy, or just a harmless gummy. You don’t go giving someone else’s child fucking sleep inducing anything without the express permission from their parent. No need to be nasty. It's a hormone we make anyway, not a drug. I didn't want mom to worry that her daughter was given anything dangerous or an inappropriate dose. I don't know for sure it was the kiddie gummies, but I suspect so. I was trying to reassure mom so she didn't worry so much. I also said it was very bad judgment on the part of the parent. Chill and don't get your knickers in a twist about what you THINK I said, which I didn't. Our bodies make plenty of kinds of hormones naturally and I’m uncomfortable with another parent deciding when my children should take them, and it mostly doesn’t matter to me that the likelihood of any lasting effect is low. Many things are natural and probably mostly harmless, not even impactful enough to be regulated, and I will still prefer they not be given to my child without my okay.
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Deleted
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Jun 2, 2024 2:20:54 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2019 21:11:20 GMT
Oh my!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!! That is not appropriate for a child of any age! How dare she hand an OTC medication to anyone! As an aside, I've had crappy experiences with melatonin (took the 5mg + also the 10 mg--both bad for me-- vivid nightmares, sweats, weirdness---I do better with Rx's like Ambien!!).
Not sure how old your DD is but I'd be pissed if she didn't IMMEDIATELY call you (the adult at this slumber party), even *if* your DD asked if she could try melatonin. Yeesh!!
Yeah, I'd restrict her going there and I'd follow this up with a few questions and talks with DD. Good luck!
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
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Member is Online
Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
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Post by pilcas on Sept 1, 2019 21:30:47 GMT
I sometimes have problems sleeping and I read up a little about Melatonin. Let’s say I decided not to try it. If taken regularly it can cause your body to stop making its own melatonin. To me the main thing is that there was no reason for the kids to be given this. This was not a case of someone has a headache, let’s give them a Tylenol. This is no different than giving them all some Benadryl to make them sleep. If you don’t want noise at night don’t host a sleepover.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Sept 1, 2019 21:56:06 GMT
No, it's a supplement. Not a drug. If it was a drug it would be controlled by the FDC. It's not. I am not in any way, shape or form supporting or excusing that mother's actions. She shouldn't have given the child anything without checking with her parent. Period. As I said, I was merely trying to assuage the kid's mom's worry. That's all. And eff your "ignorance." I do know the difference between meds and supplements, and yes, I'm aware supplements can have side effects. I have a freaking BSN. I've studied pharmacology. Have you? This is an example of the unnecessary nastiness that drove me away from this board for months. This is a pretty recent thing, IMO. It used to be supportive, kind, nice. Now there are way too many instances of just plain mean comments. You can stuff it zella, and leave again if you must because you cannot handle criticism but I stand by what I wrote. I wasn’t being nasty.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Sept 1, 2019 21:56:36 GMT
Wow, so basically the mom just wanted all of them to go to sleep. No other reason she would offer them to the other kids. What an ass! It’s screwed up that the mom did this!!
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Post by mustlovecats on Sept 1, 2019 22:04:00 GMT
No, it's a supplement. Not a drug. If it was a drug it would be controlled by the FDC. It's not. I am not in any way, shape or form supporting or excusing that mother's actions. She shouldn't have given the child anything without checking with her parent. Period. As I said, I was merely trying to assuage the kid's mom's worry. That's all. And eff your "ignorance." I do know the difference between meds and supplements, and yes, I'm aware supplements can have side effects. I have a freaking BSN. I've studied pharmacology. Have you? This is an example of the unnecessary nastiness that drove me away from this board for months. This is a pretty recent thing, IMO. It used to be supportive, kind, nice. Now there are way too many instances of just plain mean comments. To be fair, the definition of drug is a substance that produces a physiological effect or alters the body’s function in some way. The FDA might not regulate it but melatonin still fits under that definition. I think one reason you are getting push back is because some people feel you are poopooing another mother’s concern about something given to her child without her knowledge.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Sept 1, 2019 23:51:25 GMT
No, it's a supplement. Not a drug. If it was a drug it would be controlled by the FDC. It's not. I am not in any way, shape or form supporting or excusing that mother's actions. She shouldn't have given the child anything without checking with her parent. Period. As I said, I was merely trying to assuage the kid's mom's worry. That's all. And eff your "ignorance." I do know the difference between meds and supplements, and yes, I'm aware supplements can have side effects. I have a freaking BSN. I've studied pharmacology. Have you? This is an example of the unnecessary nastiness that drove me away from this board for months. This is a pretty recent thing, IMO. It used to be supportive, kind, nice. Now there are way too many instances of just plain mean comments. To be fair, the definition of drug is a substance that produces a physiological effect or alters the body’s function in some way. The FDA might not regulate it but melatonin still fits under that definition. I think one reason you are getting push back is because some people feel you are poopooing another mother’s concern about something given to her child without her knowledge. Thank you for understanding!!!
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,611
Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Sept 2, 2019 0:01:31 GMT
No, it's a supplement. Not a drug. If it was a drug it would be controlled by the FDC. It's not. I am not in any way, shape or form supporting or excusing that mother's actions. She shouldn't have given the child anything without checking with her parent. Period. As I said, I was merely trying to assuage the kid's mom's worry. That's all. And eff your "ignorance." I do know the difference between meds and supplements, and yes, I'm aware supplements can have side effects. I have a freaking BSN. I've studied pharmacology. Have you? This is an example of the unnecessary nastiness that drove me away from this board for months. This is a pretty recent thing, IMO. It used to be supportive, kind, nice. Now there are way too many instances of just plain mean comments. To be fair, you’re being nasty too. You can’t always be the victim.
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Sept 2, 2019 0:10:49 GMT
Absolutely not poo pooing mom's concerns. That is others misreading or misunderstanding my words.
I don't know how to be any more clear than to say I DON'T SUPPORT OR CONDONE WHAT THE OTHER MOTHER DID and I only wanted to try to ease the poster's mind a little. I'd be pissed too in her position. It probably wouldn't be a friendship killer, unless she did something dumb like gave her an adult dose, but I'd make my stand known to my friend: you don't give my daughter ANYTHING without checking with me first.
If anyone chooses to take THOSE words, which I've been saying from the get go, and twist them into something else, that's on them. Not me. I'm on the OP's side 100%. I can't say or do anything else. But I WILL stand up for myself when someone calls me ignorant or reams me. She's wrong. Period. And I blocked her. I don't need the stress. I was trying to be comforting, trying to say "Hey, don't worry too much," and I get verbally tarred and feathered. Nope. Not gonna take it.
OP, sorry, I had ZERO intention of this becoming a battleground, but as I said, I won't take it. I hope you sorted things out with your friend.
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Post by birdgate on Sept 2, 2019 1:31:59 GMT
I miss the good ol' days when parents kept their drugs to themselves, went into their rooms not to be seen until the next morning. Second hand weed smoke and Frampton coming out of their rooms. Girls eating Jolly Ranchers and Lemonheads all night crank calling boys and brothers streaking.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Sept 2, 2019 2:09:55 GMT
Absolutely not poo pooing mom's concerns. That is others misreading or misunderstanding my words. I don't know how to be any more clear than to say I DON'T SUPPORT OR CONDONE WHAT THE OTHER MOTHER DID and I only wanted to try to ease the poster's mind a little. I'd be pissed too in her position. It probably wouldn't be a friendship killer, unless she did something dumb like gave her an adult dose, but I'd make my stand known to my friend: you don't give my daughter ANYTHING without checking with me first. If anyone chooses to take THOSE words, which I've been saying from the get go, and twist them into something else, that's on them. Not me. I'm on the OP's side 100%. I can't say or do anything else. But I WILL stand up for myself when someone calls me ignorant or reams me. She's wrong. Period. And I blocked her. I don't need the stress. I was trying to be comforting, trying to say "Hey, don't worry too much," and I get verbally tarred and feathered. Nope. Not gonna take it. OP, sorry, I had ZERO intention of this becoming a battleground, but as I said, I won't take it. I hope you sorted things out with your friend. Ahhh classic zella, always the victim. Not once have I mentioned what you keep insisting you were saying that was supposedly misconstrued. YOU’VE tried to turn it into something else. Too bad your comprehension continues to downplay and then ignore what I’ve been saying about melatonin and it’s side affects and intended use. But then, I guess you wouldn’t be able to play such overreaching dramatics as a victim.
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Post by christine58 on Sept 2, 2019 14:01:24 GMT
This is an example of the unnecessary nastiness that drove me away from this board for months. This is a pretty recent thing, IMO. It used to be supportive, kind, nice. Now there are way too many instances of just plain mean comments. Then you're not reading the same posts I am.
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Post by tentoes on Sept 2, 2019 14:07:22 GMT
How old is your daughter? In the grand scheme of things, it was just a melatonin gummy and I'm assuming no harm was done? BUT - WHY would the mom offer them to the other kids? Her children are one thing, but not the others. I took vitamins when I was a kid and my parents didn't ask my friends if they wanted to take them too. I think that's very odd. I wonder if because they were gummies if the other children were asking to take them? She's 10. In the grand scheme of things, yeah, just a gummy. But I don't think she exaggerated the pressure from the mom. When I dropped her off at 5, I think she tried to convince me to have a margarita 5 different times. She won't be staying the night there again. Great decision!! Sorry this mom took it upon herself to do that. NO WAY would I tolerate that either. You didn't over react. It's a MOM thing to be VERY cautious of anything that our children are given.
After my husband died, I was having trouble sleeping. My ddil gave me a bottle of melatonin to try and see if that helped. Thankfully, I looked up the dr. prescribed medications I'm on, and saw that supplements like Melatonin are counter-indicated. If I had taken the melatonin, I would have reduced the effectiveness of the my dr. prescribed medication, which could have given me a stroke. So, no it's not ok for another person to give a child any medication or supplements without permission from the parents.
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 2, 2019 19:27:40 GMT
What the hell😠 It is never okay to give supplements or medication to someone else's child without prior permission. I'll be honest, I wouldn't let my kid stay there again. Poor judgement from the other parent is a hazard. I agree! I felt my BP rise just reading your post. It's good that you gave your DD tools for saying no. I'd keep reinforcing that, NOT that I blame your DD. The blame is on the friend's mother.
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Deleted
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Jun 2, 2024 2:20:54 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2019 22:04:33 GMT
This is an example of the unnecessary nastiness that drove me away from this board for months. This is a pretty recent thing, IMO. It used to be supportive, kind, nice. Now there are way too many instances of just plain mean comments. It's not an airport. No need to announce your departure.
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Sept 3, 2019 1:22:43 GMT
This is an example of the unnecessary nastiness that drove me away from this board for months. This is a pretty recent thing, IMO. It used to be supportive, kind, nice. Now there are way too many instances of just plain mean comments. It's not an airport. No need to announce your departure. Actually I haven't departed. I'm just over on the scrappy board. But thanks for yet another example.
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