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Post by padresfan619 on Oct 14, 2019 1:46:03 GMT
Some things are so common sense it’s surprising you even post about them. Post this kind of stuff on your real username.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Oct 14, 2019 2:11:28 GMT
WT F?? Who ARE these people?? Do I just live in some bizarre fantasy world? I can't imagine in a million years any parent I know doing that. "Here, underage person alone in my house with my child, have some booze!!" I can't even... In my situation this was a long time ago. I am in my 50s now and this was in my late teens. I don't know, small fishing town, kids were all school age in these homes. I never took them up on it. They always opened the fridge showed me the contents and said "help yourself" even to the beer.
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,827
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Oct 14, 2019 2:35:37 GMT
basketdiva I was not saying you created an alter... just that you quoted it... I agree common sense says if I am uncomfortable then I dont put myself in that situation again!! I was just pointing out that a "new" pea on her very 1st post to the board chose to say that about a longtime pea that always gets crap flung her way...
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 26, 2024 0:37:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2019 2:46:08 GMT
She is 22 and babysat for a new family with an 18 mo boy. She figures the dad is in his late 30’s. Anyway, the dad earlier in the night had asked her how old she was and after finding out said, “you can have a beer after he goes to bed.” Then, he was the first one to get home from his night out at a party (the mom was working) and overpaid DD by $25 (should’ve been $55 and he paid her $80). After that he said to DD, “should we hug it out?” This had her spidey senses going but she then thinks she might be overeacting. What do you think? She likes the family but not sure she will go back. I think he overstepped as is her employer and should’ve been trying to make her feel comfortable. I've been a Nanny for about 10 years (many years before that, doing it for friends and family). I've been heavily tiped before, but only for very long and difficult situations, and I'll tell you that the mothers alway tip far more than the fathers (they're usually so literal). That being said, I'm an older lady and I've been in very weird and dangerous situations. One dad (20 years younger than me) acted very strange around me. Weird family. The wife would instruct me never to enter their bedroom. Fine. But while she was gone, he'd do everything to get me in there!!!! He'd sit way too close to me when I was feeding their baby and be very strange. One day I fessed up to the wife and told her I was quitting. She cried and asked if her husband "was in love" with me. WTF? ? Thankfully I left there in 1 piece. I found out shortly thereafter that he was arrested; that he lied about being a Veteran and working for the V.A., and the agency where he advertised for a Nanny sent out an email warning all people who worked for him to keep their distance!!!!! One thing that should have immediately tipped me off: On my first day there, an older male neighbor commented to the husband, "This one is pretty". Weird thing to say in front of me and weird that the husband didn't correct him. If your daughter feels that something is off *AT ALL*, she should get out!!!!! I've met a few creepy dads and they ended up to be dangerous. When you're working in people's homes (even if you have your car), it could be awkward or weird. I had one guy say routinely when he got home from work, "now you can change and feed me". Uh, no!!! A lot of these men equate childcare providers with women they could take advantage of. She needs to just get out if it's weird at all!!!!!! One last scary story : I went on an interview thru an agency for a Nanny job (Keep in mind that I normally work for doctors and lawyers, etc., who want an educator/experienced mother, so I get 30+ hours week, good pay), this guy answered the door. He seemed nice enough. I didn't spot baby items, which was weird. Didn't see a female presence either, weird. Turned out there was no baby!!!!!! He said outright that he used the agency for more of a dating service!!!! I ran out of there so fast. After that, DH used to come with me on interviews. Too many weirdos here. Please tell her that she needs to be alert and aware, keep her keys and phone on her, and quit if they say or do anything seemingly inappropriate. Please be safe!!
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Post by misadventurous on Oct 14, 2019 2:55:48 GMT
WT F?? Who ARE these people?? Do I just live in some bizarre fantasy world? I can't imagine in a million years any parent I know doing that. "Here, underage person alone in my house with my child, have some booze!!" I can't even... In my situation this was a long time ago. I am in my 50s now and this was in my late teens. I don't know, small fishing town, kids were all school age in these homes. I never took them up on it. They always opened the fridge showed me the contents and said "help yourself" even to the beer. Ah, ok, well that certainly changes the context then. Sorry - I got a little overwrought there for a moment!
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Post by Lexica on Oct 14, 2019 3:33:46 GMT
Absolutely do not go back. That’s creepy.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Oct 14, 2019 4:46:10 GMT
I was told to help myself to wine/beer when I babysat as a teenager.
The hug request/ offer is creepy.
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smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,606
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
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Post by smginaz Suzy on Oct 14, 2019 4:52:48 GMT
creep.
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Oct 14, 2019 4:56:09 GMT
See you quote and say exactly... and Im thinking which pea created an alter just to be condescending... I do think spidey senses mean something but i dont know why this is a "you shouldn't have posted" thing Long time lurker, recent signup, first time poster; but if you expect condescension I’ll just say that, based on what I’ve read here, op will do the opposite of what the group suggests. Cheers OP a big NO on ever going back.
And wickedwonder way to troll. If you are a longtime lurker, please come in introduce yourself and become a part of the community by offering helpful suggestions. Punching down is easy, but is that who you really want to be? Yeah, I'm sanctimonious. I want this to be a place where I can ask any question and not be insulted by those who think I'm an idiot.
Off to shop for merkins, 'cause I've learned a lot around here!
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,375
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Oct 14, 2019 5:04:07 GMT
Always trust your gut in that kind of situation. Better safe than sorry.
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Post by gar on Oct 14, 2019 8:10:11 GMT
See you quote and say exactly... and Im thinking which pea created an alter just to be condescending... I do think spidey senses mean something but i dont know why this is a "you shouldn't have posted" thing Long time lurker, recent signup, first time poster; but if you expect condescension I’ll just say that, based on what I’ve read here, op will do the opposite of what the group suggests. Cheers All of that may be true, but all we know of you is this first post. Is this you setting out your stall or do you want to have another go at introducing yourself?
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Oct 14, 2019 8:13:30 GMT
See you quote and say exactly... and Im thinking which pea created an alter just to be condescending... I do think spidey senses mean something but i dont know why this is a "you shouldn't have posted" thing Long time lurker, recent signup, first time poster; but if you expect condescension I’ll just say that, based on what I’ve read here, op will do the opposite of what the group suggests. Cheers Oh FFS. I wonder who this new Pea is? Not too hard to figure it out. Could it be one in the same of the person who recently blocked me from her small and dwindling Pea group for not following her edict disguised as advice or one of her small-minded posse members? Enquiring minds want to know. 🤭🤣
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Oct 14, 2019 8:14:49 GMT
Some things are so common sense it’s surprising you even post about them. Post this kind of stuff on your real username. Exactly! Don’t like what I post? Block me or skip over it. Life has many options.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Oct 14, 2019 8:19:34 GMT
If she really like the mother and her charge you could make the suggestion that she babysit at her/your home. Otherwise its not a good situation and its just asking for trouble all the way around. Normally probably not a bad idea. However, where she lives is not set up for babysitting a young child. Thanks for the idea though.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Oct 14, 2019 8:21:56 GMT
Some things are so common sense it’s surprising you even post about them. Well well well… I wonder who this might be? Not too hard to figure it out. Cold up there yet? 😛
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Oct 14, 2019 8:24:15 GMT
Some things are so common sense it’s surprising you even post about them. Well bless your heart! Don’t like it, don’t respond. Simple as that. Hope you’re having a lovely night. 🤦♀️
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Oct 14, 2019 8:26:38 GMT
Long time lurker, recent signup, first time poster; but if you expect condescension I’ll just say that, based on what I’ve read here, op will do the opposite of what the group suggests. Cheers OP a big NO on ever going back.
And wickedwonder way to troll. If you are a longtime lurker, please come in introduce yourself and become a part of the community by offering helpful suggestions. Punching down is easy, but is that who you really want to be? Yeah, I'm sanctimonious. I want this to be a place where I can ask any question and not be insulted by those who think I'm an idiot.
Off to shop for merkins, 'cause I've learned a lot around here!
Thank you for that. It’s not too hard to narrow down the shortlist of who that is. I’m not worried about it. Trying to take over for Yubon apparently. I reckon Wicked Wonder lives in a glass house and shouldn’t throw stones. There by the grace of God go I and all that.
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Post by phoenixcov on Oct 14, 2019 11:22:44 GMT
Some things are so common sense it’s surprising you even post about them Is it common sense to be a moaning minnie on your second post here?
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muggins
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,861
Jul 30, 2017 3:38:57 GMT
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Post by muggins on Oct 14, 2019 11:46:52 GMT
Some things are so common sense it’s surprising you even post about them. Perhaps common sense for more mature, experienced women like the peas, however I think it’s great that OP’s daughter discussed her instincts and asked for advice. Some young women would keep it to themselves and perhaps get into a more tricky situation. It’s a great reminder for parents of babysitters to have a discussion about boundaries and to stand up for themselves with creepy fathers. Young women are often taught to be polite in all situations. OP’s daughter should have no problem telling the father his requests are inappropriate and if asked to babysit again, I would have no problem telling the mother exactly why.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 26, 2024 0:37:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2019 11:56:42 GMT
Ewww. He also could have asked her age to determine ability to consent. That's just creepy. I wouldn't go back. Ever.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
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Post by kibblesandbits on Oct 14, 2019 12:13:16 GMT
Long time lurker, recent signup, first time poster; but if you expect condescension I’ll just say that, based on what I’ve read here, op will do the opposite of what the group suggests. Cheers Oh FFS. I wonder who this new Pea is? Not too hard to figure it out. Could it be one in the same of the person who recently blocked me from her small and dwindling Pea group for not following her edict disguised as advice or one of her small-minded posse members? Enquiring minds want to know. 🤭🤣 Private Pea Group? Do tell. don't be shy. So, did she "hug it out"? Dude sounds creepy, and she probably shouldn't go back.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Oct 14, 2019 13:17:17 GMT
This particular Pea formed her own spin-off “Split Peas” Facebook group when the original board closed. However, it has dwindled now into a small clique with only a handful of regular members posting. Your mileage may vary if you choose to join.
No, she did not hug it out. When she told her dad about it, he said no way in hell is she going back. He said he knew what the guy was after.
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Post by kiera on Oct 14, 2019 14:49:33 GMT
Do not go back, what a creep! I disagree with the idea of having her babysit the kid at her own home as well - don't let the sketchy father know where she lives. I'd have her speak with the mother (in person, on the phone, email, whatever) and be clear in the explanation of why she will not be returning.
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Post by birukitty on Oct 14, 2019 15:02:18 GMT
I would congratulate your daughter on listening to her inner voice and not hugging the dad. As a young woman she did the right thing.
Next I'd buy her a copy of "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. It's a book all about listening to that inner voice when it tells you something isn't right.
I too would not let her go back to this babysitting job. Between offering your daughter the alchol and then asking for the hug I also think this man was testing her to see how far he could go.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 14, 2019 15:24:33 GMT
I grew up in the 70's and 80's and have met my fair share of creepy ass men. My awareness factor is generally on high when I am alone. I have been told that since I smile a lot and it invites men to try to proposition me. Screw that. The most important thing I learned was to be calm, firm, and get the hell out of Dodge when things don't feel right. In your daughter's case, she need to not return to Dodge.
It sounds like she already knew the right thing to do and wanted to share the experience with you. Maybe just being told by her parents that she did the right thing made her feel more confident. I don't think age gives you wisdom as much as experience does. By 22 I knew what creeps some men could be, but I had also experienced it starting around 13.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Oct 14, 2019 15:35:03 GMT
Sorry, but it baffles me that going back would even be under consideration. Not only would I not be going back, I'd be telling the wife about it. No way in **** would I want my babysitter to be drinking alcohol while in charge of my child - not to mention hugging my husband. And I sure as **** would want to know that my husband was instigating both.
100% Dealbreaker
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Oct 14, 2019 15:40:47 GMT
BTW....Since you're here, is there an update to the roommate situation. It didn't look like you ever came back to that thread.
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Post by destined2bmom on Oct 14, 2019 16:01:26 GMT
No. And I would read this thread to your daughter. So she knows it’s not just you trying to interfere with her decisions.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 14, 2019 16:08:46 GMT
Sorry, but it baffles me that going back would even be under consideration. Not only would I not be going back, I'd be telling the wife about it. No way in **** would I want my babysitter to be drinking alcohol while in charge of my child - not to mention hugging my husband. And I sure as **** would want to know that my husband was instigating both. 100% Dealbreaker Ditto to all of the above. As the mom, I would want a heads up that my husband was being a creeper to the babysitter!
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Post by aljack on Oct 14, 2019 17:05:29 GMT
Nope, this is a lack of boundaries and inappropriate. The extra money can never replace her psyche should something happen beyond his creepy request for a hug.
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