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Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Nov 7, 2019 4:58:42 GMT
My DS has never needed anything but his NV drivers license from 18+ to purchase alcohol in Mexico or Puerto Rico. Sending an 18 year old with a permission slip to purchase alcohol, where the legal age is 18, is really no different than sending a 21 year old with a permission slip to gamble in Las Vegas, because gambling is illegal in their state or country. I was told on FB someone should call CPS when I posted a picture of DS buying beer at 19 in Puerto Rico. When I explained it was perfectly legal, I was told my DS IS NOT A MEXICAN SO SHOULD NOT BE UNDERAGE DRINKING IN MEXICO. She blocked me when I told her PUERTO RICO IS IN THE CARIBBEAN AND A TERRITORY OF THE USA, NOT ANYWHERE NEAR MEXICO! MY 19 YEAR OLD KNOWS THAT EVEN AFTER A 6 PACK! I will never understand why so many people feel the need to dream up a gray area on this subject
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Post by lucyg on Nov 7, 2019 6:41:27 GMT
My DS has never needed anything but his NV drivers license from 18+ to purchase alcohol in Mexico or Puerto Rico. Sending an 18 year old with a permission slip to purchase alcohol, where the legal age is 18, is really no different than sending a 21 year old with a permission slip to gamble in Las Vegas, because gambling is illegal in their state or country. I was told on FB someone should call CPS when I posted a picture of DS buying beer at 19 in Puerto Rico. When I explained it was perfectly legal, I was told my DS IS NOT A MEXICAN SO SHOULD NOT BE UNDERAGE DRINKING IN MEXICO. She blocked me when I told her PUERTO RICO IS IN THE CARIBBEAN AND A TERRITORY OF THE USA, NOT ANYWHERE NEAR MEXICO! MY 19 YEAR OLD KNOWS THAT EVEN AFTER A 6 PACK! I will never understand why so many people feel the need to dream up a gray area on this subject To say nothing of the whole idea of someone calling CPS on you over your 19yo (um, not a child) doing something perfectly legal in the country he’s in at that moment. Just bizarre. That gal is a few bricks short of a load.
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cycworker
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Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Nov 7, 2019 7:20:37 GMT
My DS has never needed anything but his NV drivers license from 18+ to purchase alcohol in Mexico or Puerto Rico. Sending an 18 year old with a permission slip to purchase alcohol, where the legal age is 18, is really no different than sending a 21 year old with a permission slip to gamble in Las Vegas, because gambling is illegal in their state or country. I was told on FB someone should call CPS when I posted a picture of DS buying beer at 19 in Puerto Rico. When I explained it was perfectly legal, I was told my DS IS NOT A MEXICAN SO SHOULD NOT BE UNDERAGE DRINKING IN MEXICO. She blocked me when I told her PUERTO RICO IS IN THE CARIBBEAN AND A TERRITORY OF THE USA, NOT ANYWHERE NEAR MEXICO! MY 19 YEAR OLD KNOWS THAT EVEN AFTER A 6 PACK! I will never understand why so many people feel the need to dream up a gray area on this subject Ugghhhh. Put aside the Mexico misunderstanding... does she truly not understand that even non citizeresns, when visiting another country, are subject to the same rights & restrictions, for better or worse? It doesn't matter what the drinking age is in the USA. If the age drinking age is 18 (or in the case of your example, 19) in the country you are visiting, you get to drink! It goes both ways... my brother was bummed he couldn't drink at 20 in the US even though it's 19 here. If CPS got a call about this case, they'd try not to laugh as they explain a 19 year old non-citizen legally visiting another country gets to follow that country's rules, not the country from which they came.
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sueg
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Post by sueg on Nov 7, 2019 7:20:55 GMT
My DS has never needed anything but his NV drivers license from 18+ to purchase alcohol in Mexico or Puerto Rico. Sending an 18 year old with a permission slip to purchase alcohol, where the legal age is 18, is really no different than sending a 21 year old with a permission slip to gamble in Las Vegas, because gambling is illegal in their state or country. I was told on FB someone should call CPS when I posted a picture of DS buying beer at 19 in Puerto Rico. When I explained it was perfectly legal, I was told my DS IS NOT A MEXICAN SO SHOULD NOT BE UNDERAGE DRINKING IN MEXICO. She blocked me when I told her PUERTO RICO IS IN THE CARIBBEAN AND A TERRITORY OF THE USA, NOT ANYWHERE NEAR MEXICO! MY 19 YEAR OLD KNOWS THAT EVEN AFTER A 6 PACK! I will never understand why so many people feel the need to dream up a gray area on this subject So now bartenders not only have to check your age, but also your nationality, and know what the legal drinking age is there? What a load of codswallop! And conversely, does that mean that a 17YO German should be allowed to drink in the US - after all, it is legal for them to drink in their home country. Some people have no common sense.
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Post by doxiesx3 on Nov 7, 2019 10:16:07 GMT
In Haiti, its legal to drink at age 16. We were there in April and I allowed both my kids, age 16 and 18 at the time, to order a Labadoozie. 16 year old, took a sip and hated it. 18 year old, sucked the whole thing down and slept the next 6 hours on the beach.
At 18, I would not get permission. The 17 year old, if going to an island that allows drinking at that age, I would mention it to the parents and see their reaction. If they seem fine with the idea, simply ask if its ok. If they are horrified, you already have the answer.
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JustTricia
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Post by JustTricia on Nov 7, 2019 11:12:09 GMT
I think cruises have rules like that for a good reason. Something you might find out the hard way. So I don't really get the purpose of this trip? you really don't want anything to do with the young adults, right? so why take them? or why go? why not just let them go on their own trip? or you on yours? I'd think a bunch of 21 year olds would be more problematic than a bunch of 18 year olds, but that's just me. How do you figure we don't want anything to do with them? I never said that. Honestly, they considered going somewhere on their own, but frankly that's not as easy as it sounds. They can't rent a hotel room, a cabin, etc. We also didn't want them driving several cars 10+ hours away; that doesn't seem safe (though legally they can do that). At least on a ship they are free to just hang out somewhere warm (which is exactly what they're looking forward to the most)and we'll be close by if there's an emergency. I was in the “agree to disagree” camp until this. Considering their ages they have all been driving for two years with the exception of one who has been driving for one. Driving is legal for all of them, again presuming they all have licenses. But you’re not allowing them to do that as it’s not safe. So you made that determination for your kid and all the other parents, but you’re not giving the parents an opportunity to decide what is safe, legally or not, for their own kids? I am probably the odd man out here, but I do know my fair share of people who graduated from high school without drinking. I think taking the risk of first time drunks in a foreign country with that many of them is taking too big of a chance something may happen. That something could be as small as one of them getting too drunk, becoming an idiot, and trying to get the 17 to drink some of their drink. It could of course be something bigger. I know you said you’d be right there to stop them if it gets out of control, it still a pretty big risk. Have you checked the school handbook? Lots of them have codes of conduct that discuss how to behave outside of school. With social media and 18 year olds pictures are going to be posted. Have you checked to make sure that can’t get them suspended or expelled? Any student athletes? Especially ones with a spring season or scholarship? When my nephew was a senior he and his family went on a trip to Mexico and he was allowed to drink. However it was DRILLED INTO EVERYONE’S HEADS that no pictures of him even AROUND alcohol, not just one in his hand, were to be taken, let alone posted, because that could have affected his scholarship. As a parent of a 19 year old who wavers between helicopter and not, I think you’re being a bit cavalier about it all.
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johnnysmom
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Nov 7, 2019 11:16:39 GMT
My view is obviously influenced by the fact that the legal drinking age here is 18, so I think it’s ludicrous to ask parents of adults to sign a freakin permission slip. The most I would do is let the parents know that the legal drinking age at some of the ports is 18, and they need to be aware that their kid might drink, and that they needed to talk to their kids about any concerns beforehand. My daughter went to Germany on a student exchange when she was 16. At the information session we were all told that the drinking age in Germany is 16, and the kids would likely be offered beer or wine by their host families. If we weren’t happy with that, it was up to us to have that discussion with our kids. I went to Germany at 16 as well. I don't know what my parents were told about alcohol (if anything) and I was never offered alcohol at my host family's home. That said, German beer is strong for someone who had never had a drop of alcohol (my parents didn't even have it in the house).....and those German beer goggles are really, really, REALLY thick
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Nov 7, 2019 11:23:36 GMT
My DS has never needed anything but his NV drivers license from 18+ to purchase alcohol in Mexico or Puerto Rico. Sending an 18 year old with a permission slip to purchase alcohol, where the legal age is 18, is really no different than sending a 21 year old with a permission slip to gamble in Las Vegas, because gambling is illegal in their state or country. I was told on FB someone should call CPS when I posted a picture of DS buying beer at 19 in Puerto Rico. When I explained it was perfectly legal, I was told my DS IS NOT A MEXICAN SO SHOULD NOT BE UNDERAGE DRINKING IN MEXICO. She blocked me when I told her PUERTO RICO IS IN THE CARIBBEAN AND A TERRITORY OF THE USA, NOT ANYWHERE NEAR MEXICO! MY 19 YEAR OLD KNOWS THAT EVEN AFTER A 6 PACK! I will never understand why so many people feel the need to dream up a gray area on this subject I would have loved to hear that CPS call. I imagine that would be one to go down in call center history....you know, that story that gets told throughout the years as a "you won't believe this call that came in" story.
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Post by christine58 on Nov 7, 2019 11:26:51 GMT
johnnysmom How many of these kids will be without a parent on this trip?
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Nov 7, 2019 11:37:11 GMT
I'd think a bunch of 21 year olds would be more problematic than a bunch of 18 year olds, but that's just me. How do you figure we don't want anything to do with them? I never said that. Honestly, they considered going somewhere on their own, but frankly that's not as easy as it sounds. They can't rent a hotel room, a cabin, etc. We also didn't want them driving several cars 10+ hours away; that doesn't seem safe (though legally they can do that). At least on a ship they are free to just hang out somewhere warm (which is exactly what they're looking forward to the most)and we'll be close by if there's an emergency. I was in the “agree to disagree” camp until this. Considering their ages they have all been driving for two years with the exception of one who has been driving for one. Driving is legal for all of them, again presuming they all have licenses. But you’re not allowing them to do that as it’s not safe. So you made that determination for your kid and all the other parents, but you’re not giving the parents an opportunity to decide what is safe, legally or not, for their own kids? I am probably the odd man out here, but I do know my fair share of people who graduated from high school without drinking. I think taking the risk of first time drunks in a foreign country with that many of them is taking too big of a chance something may happen. That something could be as small as one of them getting too drunk, becoming an idiot, and trying to get the 17 to drink some of their drink. It could of course be something bigger. I know you said you’d be right there to stop them if it gets out of control, it still a pretty big risk. Have you checked the school handbook? Lots of them have codes of conduct that discuss how to behave outside of school. With social media and 18 year olds pictures are going to be posted. Have you checked to make sure that can’t get them suspended or expelled? Any student athletes? Especially ones with a spring season or scholarship? When my nephew was a senior he and his family went on a trip to Mexico and he was allowed to drink. However it was DRILLED INTO EVERYONE’S HEADS that no pictures of him even AROUND alcohol, not just one in his hand, were to be taken, let alone posted, because that could have affected his scholarship. As a parent of a 19 year old who wavers between helicopter and not, I think you’re being a bit cavalier about it all. I trust them driving; it's the other idiots on the road that I don't trust. And I'm not making decisions for all the kids, hell I didn't even make the decision for my own kid. I presented a cruise as an option and as a group the kids decided they'd like to do this and the parents agreed. Who said they were going to get drunk? Having a beer or two is far different than getting drunk. They're not going to have endless amounts of money, we're going to be close by, we're only in port for a limited number of hours and a couple days. Thank you for the reminder to talk to them about social media. They wouldn't get suspended or expelled but if someone wanted to make a stink about an athlete they possibly could so I will remind them about that again. FWIW, I took the advice above and texted all the moms about the drinking age (I was going to mention it when we met but went ahead and did it now too). So now they are all fully aware and can have whatever conversations with their kids that they want. I still won't be getting "permission slips" though. It's the permission slips I find stupid, I'm not trying to hide anything from the parents.
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Nov 7, 2019 11:38:26 GMT
johnnysmom How many of these kids will be without a parent on this trip? 3 or 4 (and actually I think one will be backing out so that would make it 2-3)
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paigepea
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Post by paigepea on Nov 7, 2019 12:56:18 GMT
My dd just returned from a cruise. 20 kids and 4 adult chaperones because the cruise line required 1 adult per 5 kids. This was a princess cruise. Dd 14 was one of the youngest kids. Kids ranged grade 9-12. Before the kids left they were told no drinking and remember to bring no ‘chemicals’. International waters have sketchy laws. Who is in charge and who’s rules are being followed is iffy. The country of the ship? The country of the captain? The country you’re in? Don’t think you’re protected by American law just because the ship leaves from an American port. Chances are the laws on the ship are dictated by a different country and your rights as an American (or a Canadian, in our case) citizen are not of concern. I’d be very clear with ground rules for these kids who feel like adults but won’t always make good, quick adult decisions. I do have a lawyer friend who won’t take a cruise because of how sketchy international water laws can be.
In a foreign country with a lower drinking age I’d be careful having the kids on their own at the beach. No one is checking on what they’re drinking, how much, how safe they’re being when near water, or if they’re making it back to the ship on time. Who is out the money if they don’t make it back to port in time because they’re at the beach and loose track of time. It happens at every port on every ship that they’re waiting for passengers. How long will the ship wait? I think it’s probsbly good, even in a group of older adults, to have someone who isn’t drinking.
Anyway, I’d have ground rules. I lived in a province where the drinking age is 18 and I had high school student who were legal to drink. Just because it was legal didn’t mean each kid could handle / deal / or make good choices. And in a foreign country I’d be more worried. What if they drink and sign up for some of those water sports that are not regulated the same as in the US and get hurt. Who is liable in the eyes of the parents? It won’t be the water sport company. You?
No I wouldn’t have the parents sign papers but I’d think long and hard about what I’m comfortable with and have a good discussion with the parents and the kids. My closeness and familiarity with the other parents would play in to my comfort level.
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Post by monklady123 on Nov 7, 2019 13:25:14 GMT
I would do the same as you are doing. While I would set some ground rules, they are legally adults, legally able to drink in those locations and I wouldn't be getting any note signed. On a side note (our drinking age is 18), I can't fathom young people being able to vote, go to fight for their country, go away to college and be legal adults in every other way but they can't drink alcohol. I agree. I always picture a 19- or 20-year-old deployed to Afghanistan. Out all day in the heat and danger, then coming back to base where I'm assuming they have beer (maybe I'm wrong about that)...and not being able to have a cold beer with his buddies. And I just learned on a recent road trip that military folks under 21 are allowed to buy cigarettes if they have a military ID (at least in Maryland or Delaware...I forget which state we were in when we stopped at that gas station). Seems silly not to apply the same rules to alcohol. I don't know...maybe some states do? or when soldiers are overseas even at American bases...?
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Deleted
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Jun 2, 2024 9:25:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2019 14:10:06 GMT
Maybe I am a helicopter...but one of my requirements for taking all those kids on such a trip would be that they NOT drink. Legally or otherwise. I wouldn't want to be responsible for someone else's kid running into trouble because they were drinking. I would meet with the other parents beforehand and establish ground rules for the trip. Yes, yes and yes. If their adult kid drinks while there and either does something stupid, has a bad reaction to the alcohol and/or misses the ship, who do you think the parents of said kid will blame? The kid? Probably not. You? Absolutely. If you don't want to prohibit the kids from drinking, I would make the parents sign a statement. What harm is there in that? It doesn't make you a helicopter parent, it makes you a legally responsible adult.
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Post by jenb72 on Nov 7, 2019 14:58:54 GMT
A slightly different situation, since I didn't go, but my younger DD (20) took her sister (28) on a cruise this past summer that also included her BFF (20) and her cousin (19). They're all adults and they were all going to be in places where it was legal for them to drink. We told them to have a great time and please just be safe. We also told my oldest DD that it wasn't her job to parent them. They're all adults. We just asked that they all please look out for each other and make sure no one did anything that might get them into trouble. They did just that, had a wonderful time, and plan to do it again at some point. I never saw the need to get permission from the BFFs parents even though my DD (20) initiated the trip and my other DD (28) was going to be the oldest in attendance and the only one legal to drink in the US.
Jen
ETA - Counsin's parent lives with us, so even if we thought to have a talk with any of the parents, which we didn't, we already knew how he felt.
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Post by freecharlie on Nov 7, 2019 15:20:27 GMT
I'd think a bunch of 21 year olds would be more problematic than a bunch of 18 year olds, but that's just me. How do you figure we don't want anything to do with them? I never said that. Honestly, they considered going somewhere on their own, but frankly that's not as easy as it sounds. They can't rent a hotel room, a cabin, etc. We also didn't want them driving several cars 10+ hours away; that doesn't seem safe (though legally they can do that). At least on a ship they are free to just hang out somewhere warm (which is exactly what they're looking forward to the most)and we'll be close by if there's an emergency. I was in the “agree to disagree” camp until this. Considering their ages they have all been driving for two years with the exception of one who has been driving for one. Driving is legal for all of them, again presuming they all have licenses. But you’re not allowing them to do that as it’s not safe. So you made that determination for your kid and all the other parents, but you’re not giving the parents an opportunity to decide what is safe, legally or not, for their own kids?I am probably the odd man out here, but I do know my fair share of people who graduated from high school without drinking. I think taking the risk of first time drunks in a foreign country with that many of them is taking too big of a chance something may happen. That something could be as small as one of them getting too drunk, becoming an idiot, and trying to get the 17 to drink some of their drink. It could of course be something bigger. I know you said you’d be right there to stop them if it gets out of control, it still a pretty big risk. Have you checked the school handbook? Lots of them have codes of conduct that discuss how to behave outside of school. With social media and 18 year olds pictures are going to be posted. Have you checked to make sure that can’t get them suspended or expelled? Any student athletes? Especially ones with a spring season or scholarship? When my nephew was a senior he and his family went on a trip to Mexico and he was allowed to drink. However it was DRILLED INTO EVERYONE’S HEADS that no pictures of him even AROUND alcohol, not just one in his hand, were to be taken, let alone posted, because that could have affected his scholarship. As a parent of a 19 year old who wavers between helicopter and not, I think you’re being a bit cavalier about it all. seriously? These aren't kids, except for the 17 year old, they are adults. Parents no longer have any legal rights over an 18 year old whether they like it or not. No way am I micromanaging adults.
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Post by freecharlie on Nov 7, 2019 15:22:52 GMT
Maybe I am a helicopter...but one of my requirements for taking all those kids on such a trip would be that they NOT drink. Legally or otherwise. I wouldn't want to be responsible for someone else's kid running into trouble because they were drinking. I would meet with the other parents beforehand and establish ground rules for the trip. Yes, yes and yes. If their adult kid drinks while there and either does something stupid, has a bad reaction to the alcohol and/or misses the ship, who do you think the parents of said kid will blame? The kid? Probably not. You? Absolutely. If you don't want to prohibit the kids from drinking, I would make the parents sign a statement. What harm is there in that? It doesn't make you a helicopter parent, it makes you a legally responsible adult. but the vacationers are ADULTS their parents have no legal rights in this case. It would be like signing a statement saying it was okay for my husband to drink.
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Nov 7, 2019 19:02:44 GMT
As a parent that took my 17 year old, and his 18 year old friend (both seniors in HS) on a cruise last April, I think it's silly to ask for any type of permission slip from parents of an 18 year old. We let both boys have the balcony cabin next to ours and just had extra key cards. They were expected to join us for a few dinners (civility and low key check in- plus- we wanted to spend time with them!) And I made it clear I could enter their cabin at any time (knocked first of course.) Now, that said... we paid for the cruise and all expenses, AND my son was still 17. I talked with the friends mom ahead of time and let her know my requests/requirements and she was golden with it. As far a drinking/girls whatever, we both acknowledged (because we're realists) that both boys have drank in our town, spent "time" with girls... whatever. I was not babysitting, and if my rules, the rules of the ship, or the country we were in were broken, it was the friends problem to get back home. It wasn't an obnoxious talk lol it was more along the lines of real recognize real. I didn't want to set an unrealistic expectation, and we both knew who our sons were. In the end, all was well OP- You have a bunch of 18 year olds, but I'd definitely set an expectation at least a night or two that you have dinner as a group if you want to. A key difference between your trip and mine.... I wouldn't enter their cabins lol. Now... the 17 year old... are her parents one of the sets of parents going? Also, photos on board can be fun (expensive but you don't have to buy them) and the kids likely would love to spend a bit of time just cheesing. Maybe work your way into a couple Great souvenir for you! I'm thrilled you're doing this. This will be something these "kids" will remember for life. And most likely with a massive smile! Don't over stress and if the CruiseCritic crew gets a bit too.... critical.. just throw out a "So, about gratuities... I want to tip people myself, can I do that?" They'll be in a frenzy PS... Our trip was such a success my son wants to go on another cruise next summer and bring his girl friend (she'll be 18 by that time.) It's great to know Carnival allows 18 year olds to have their own cabin if a 25 year old is on board! Thanks for the heads up!
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Nov 7, 2019 19:07:40 GMT
My DS has never needed anything but his NV drivers license from 18+ to purchase alcohol in Mexico or Puerto Rico. Sending an 18 year old with a permission slip to purchase alcohol, where the legal age is 18, is really no different than sending a 21 year old with a permission slip to gamble in Las Vegas, because gambling is illegal in their state or country. I was told on FB someone should call CPS when I posted a picture of DS buying beer at 19 in Puerto Rico. When I explained it was perfectly legal, I was told my DS IS NOT A MEXICAN SO SHOULD NOT BE UNDERAGE DRINKING IN MEXICO. She blocked me when I told her PUERTO RICO IS IN THE CARIBBEAN AND A TERRITORY OF THE USA, NOT ANYWHERE NEAR MEXICO! MY 19 YEAR OLD KNOWS THAT EVEN AFTER A 6 PACK! I will never understand why so many people feel the need to dream up a gray area on this subject Ugghhhh. Put aside the Mexico misunderstanding... does she truly not understand that even non citizeresns, when visiting another country, are subject to the same rights & restrictions, for better or worse? It doesn't matter what the drinking age is in the USA. If the age drinking age is 18 (or in the case of your example, 19) in the country you are visiting, you get to drink! It goes both ways... my brother was bummed he couldn't drink at 20 in the US even though it's 19 here. If CPS got a call about this case, they'd try not to laugh as they explain a 19 year old non-citizen legally visiting another country gets to follow that country's rules, not the country from which they came. We are in Massachusetts.. and it turns out that alot of the 19 year olds we know in one friend group started taking weekend pilgrimages to Canada because they could rent a cheap room and drink legally. I asked my son (still 17 at the time) why he didn't go... And he said... Why go that far just to drink? I can drink at "so and so and so and so and so and so's house if I want to and not have to be driving all over the place. That's just stupid." To me, my 17 year old is showing more maturity that these people freaking out over 18 year old's drinking legally on the soil they are standing on. Insanity.
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Nov 7, 2019 19:14:21 GMT
I'd think a bunch of 21 year olds would be more problematic than a bunch of 18 year olds, but that's just me. How do you figure we don't want anything to do with them? I never said that. Honestly, they considered going somewhere on their own, but frankly that's not as easy as it sounds. They can't rent a hotel room, a cabin, etc. We also didn't want them driving several cars 10+ hours away; that doesn't seem safe (though legally they can do that). At least on a ship they are free to just hang out somewhere warm (which is exactly what they're looking forward to the most)and we'll be close by if there's an emergency. I was in the “agree to disagree” camp until this. Considering their ages they have all been driving for two years with the exception of one who has been driving for one. Driving is legal for all of them, again presuming they all have licenses. But you’re not allowing them to do that as it’s not safe. So you made that determination for your kid and all the other parents, but you’re not giving the parents an opportunity to decide what is safe, legally or not, for their own kids? I am probably the odd man out here, but I do know my fair share of people who graduated from high school without drinking. I think taking the risk of first time drunks in a foreign country with that many of them is taking too big of a chance something may happen. That something could be as small as one of them getting too drunk, becoming an idiot, and trying to get the 17 to drink some of their drink. It could of course be something bigger. I know you said you’d be right there to stop them if it gets out of control, it still a pretty big risk. Have you checked the school handbook? Lots of them have codes of conduct that discuss how to behave outside of school. With social media and 18 year olds pictures are going to be posted. Have you checked to make sure that can’t get them suspended or expelled? Any student athletes? Especially ones with a spring season or scholarship? When my nephew was a senior he and his family went on a trip to Mexico and he was allowed to drink. However it was DRILLED INTO EVERYONE’S HEADS that no pictures of him even AROUND alcohol, not just one in his hand, were to be taken, let alone posted, because that could have affected his scholarship. As a parent of a 19 year old who wavers between helicopter and not, I think you’re being a bit cavalier about it all. Sorry.... but.. not. How is she not giving them a choice? A) the 17 yo can't go if her parents say no. B) The 18 year olds can make their own decision either way- and it's not up to their parents anyway. That's the point. Are they even *in* high school? I, too, graduated from high school without drinking. Not that it wasn't offered. Just because it's legal isn't likely to make them into rabid drinkers Let me tell you, my kid was a 3 season athlete and the athletic kids were the worst with their partying. I do hope your 19 year old remains a saint and doesn't disappoint you by being human.
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Nov 7, 2019 19:30:07 GMT
I'm sorry... I'm just an avid cruiser and I can't stop laughing about this whole getting a note for 18 year olds! One thing to keep in mind @johnnysmom... On the beach in whatever country an 18 year old can drink. It's fine, it's cool. But if they are obviously intoxicated (in any way) getting on the ship may be a problem. Just like crossing from Canada where 19 is legal into NY (ship) where 21 is legal.. if they get pulled over and the officer checks them, even not driving, they can get hit with underage drinking. But I suppose if the parents of a legal adult write a random note, it'll all be fine
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Nov 7, 2019 19:34:21 GMT
I'm just sitting here laughing picturing @johnnysmom running down the beach in Mexico with a ragged spiral bound notebook page yelling at the bartender not to serve a legal adult because his mom said no! Better yet.. forcing the parents to get notarized letters saying their legal adult children are allowed to drink if it's legal. Or, if Dorkboy gets intoxicated and Carnival won't let him on the ship showing them a little note that says Dorkboy's mom said it was ok for him to drink. Dear lord.
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christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,135
Location: New York, NY
Jun 26, 2014 18:02:19 GMT
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Post by christinec68 on Nov 7, 2019 19:35:03 GMT
I'm sorry... I'm just an avid cruiser and I can't stop laughing about this whole getting a note for 18 year olds!One thing to keep in mind @johnnysmom... On the beach in whatever country an 18 year old can drink. It's fine, it's cool. But if they are obviously intoxicated (in any way) getting on the ship may be a problem. Just like crossing from Canada where 19 is legal into NY (ship) where 21 is legal.. if they get pulled over and the officer checks them, even not driving, they can get hit with underage drinking. But I suppose if the parents of a legal adult write a random note, it'll all be fine This and I can't figure out who the note should be addressed to? The OP? The bartenders? LOL
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Post by jenjie on Nov 7, 2019 19:51:47 GMT
I think this is how I would handle it - quoting AussieMeg“let the parents know that the legal drinking age at some of the ports is 18, and they need to be aware that their kid might drink, and that they needed to talk to their kids about any concerns beforehand.” I’m not a fan of alcoholic beverages (alcoholic parent) and don’t encourage it, but now that ds is 21 I don’t assume he will never drink. He says he doesn’t want to but likes to talk about maybe. So I talk with him on the basis of if he does and how to handle it. Like he went to a Halloween party where there would be drinking. “I’m not planning on drinking.” “I know, but if you do, Call me and I’ll pick you up.” “I’m not going to drink.” “Ok just know if you change your mind I will come get you.”
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,376
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Nov 7, 2019 21:24:50 GMT
I'd think a bunch of 21 year olds would be more problematic than a bunch of 18 year olds, but that's just me. How do you figure we don't want anything to do with them? I never said that. Honestly, they considered going somewhere on their own, but frankly that's not as easy as it sounds. They can't rent a hotel room, a cabin, etc. We also didn't want them driving several cars 10+ hours away; that doesn't seem safe (though legally they can do that). At least on a ship they are free to just hang out somewhere warm (which is exactly what they're looking forward to the most)and we'll be close by if there's an emergency. I was in the “agree to disagree” camp until this. Considering their ages they have all been driving for two years with the exception of one who has been driving for one. Driving is legal for all of them, again presuming they all have licenses. But you’re not allowing them to do that as it’s not safe. So you made that determination for your kid and all the other parents, but you’re not giving the parents an opportunity to decide what is safe, legally or not, for their own kids? I am probably the odd man out here, but I do know my fair share of people who graduated from high school without drinking. I think taking the risk of first time drunks in a foreign country with that many of them is taking too big of a chance something may happen. That something could be as small as one of them getting too drunk, becoming an idiot, and trying to get the 17 to drink some of their drink. It could of course be something bigger. I know you said you’d be right there to stop them if it gets out of control, it still a pretty big risk. Have you checked the school handbook? Lots of them have codes of conduct that discuss how to behave outside of school. With social media and 18 year olds pictures are going to be posted. Have you checked to make sure that can’t get them suspended or expelled? Any student athletes? Especially ones with a spring season or scholarship? When my nephew was a senior he and his family went on a trip to Mexico and he was allowed to drink. However it was DRILLED INTO EVERYONE’S HEADS that no pictures of him even AROUND alcohol, not just one in his hand, were to be taken, let alone posted, because that could have affected his scholarship. As a parent of a 19 year old who wavers between helicopter and not, I think you’re being a bit cavalier about it all. As a school trustee, let me tell you if I found out a kid lost a scholarship or the ability to play because something perfectly legal in the country they were visiting on vacation, I would FLIP. That is BS. Huge overstepping of the school's role. Frankly, I'd suggest getting a lawyer & suing their a$$es off. The only time a school should be commenting on a student's behaviour when not on the school grounds or at a school activity is if said behaviour/conduct breaks the law OF THE COUNTRY THEY ARE IN.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Nov 7, 2019 21:25:13 GMT
I'm just sitting here laughing picturing @johnnysmom running down the beach in Mexico with a ragged spiral bound notebook page yelling at the bartender not to serve a legal adult because his mom said no! Better yet.. forcing the parents to get notarized letters saying their legal adult children are allowed to drink if it's legal. Or, if Dorkboy gets intoxicated and Carnival won't let him on the ship showing them a little note that says Dorkboy's mom said it was ok for him to drink. Dear lord. I wanted to quote all of your posts, but this one especially tickles my funny bone....I'm picturing it and in every version I picture it looks ridiculously hilarious....I needed that today, thank you I will mention to them about the possibility of appearing intoxicated and unable to reboard....hopefully that will keep them from overindulging (and, again, we won't be far away....we'll be leaving the beach/restaurant on the same bus back to the ship and close enough that I can yell to them to quit being stupid ). If I had *any* inclination that these kids would be irresponsible they wouldn't be going (yes, kids will be kids hence the "trust but verify" motto I live by).
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Post by scrapmaven on Nov 7, 2019 21:30:39 GMT
Nellie Naysayer here to ruin the party. My concern would be a bunch of 18 year olds who may not have had a drink before this(again, I said may not). The heat combined w/the large umbrella drinks provided in port could equal a big pain in the a$$ for you. You know that one or more of those kids will go off the rails. It's not even about permission. It's about how much stress you want to deal w/. There could be passing out, barfing, wandering, noise complaints, etc. Plus you'll be in foreign countries where the police force can be tricky.
I'm not a helicopter mom, but I always think of the worst case scenario. I suck! So sorry.
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TheOtherMeg
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,541
Jun 25, 2014 20:58:14 GMT
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Post by TheOtherMeg on Nov 7, 2019 21:52:34 GMT
I don't think they are being helicopter parents, I think they are CYAing - if any of these kids gets in trouble/has an accident, regardless of if they are adults, their parents might try to sue you. Whether or not they win would be a different matter but you don't want to have to even go through that, so getting written consent from the parents is one way of letting them know 'if your kid does something stupid that's on them, not me'. I agree with likescarrots. I'm wondering if at least some of the, uh, feedback you're getting is in regard to CYAing and isn't helicoptering.
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Post by Lindarina on Nov 7, 2019 21:53:51 GMT
What’s the point of a permission slip. That’s just ridiculous . As adults I suspect they are responsible for their own actions and choices. They don’t really need their parent’s permission to travel do they? I was travelling to other countries at 18. My parents didn’t get to decide wether I went or not, and there was definitely no permission slips involved.
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Post by AussieMeg on Nov 7, 2019 22:13:04 GMT
I'm just sitting here laughing picturing @johnnysmom running down the beach in Mexico with a ragged spiral bound notebook page yelling at the bartender not to serve a legal adult because his mom said no! Funniest thing I've read in ages!!
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