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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Dec 21, 2019 1:38:55 GMT
My SIL tried to seduce my husband (her husband’s brother). Somehow I’m the bitch and we have been excluded from a few family events since and have not been invited to Christmas because she feels uncomfortable being around us. Ummmmmmm.... okay. WTF?  |
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Deleted
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Nov 2, 2024 15:27:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2019 1:40:12 GMT
I had a slight cold in early November that turned into a sinus/ear infection around Thanksgiving. Got over that, had a mild cold that turned into a wicked cough. I'm on prescription cough syrup and it isn't doing anything to give me any relief. I've been coughing like this for over a week... my ribs and back hurt, I can't sleep and I gave birth to big babies (over 10 lbs.) and apparently have weak pelvic floor muscles. Let's just say I'm keeping depends in business with all this coughing... sorry, TMI . I just want to feel good so I can enjoy Christmas with my family... DS is 19 and I don't know how many more Christmases we'll have with him at home. (((hugs))) hang in there. Babies beat up our bodies so much! Hopefully the kids can help out a bit while you rest. |
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Deleted
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Nov 2, 2024 15:27:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2019 1:41:26 GMT
I’m so behind... ...and hubby is sitting on the couch watching me work with a killer headache.  Grrrr.... |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 2, 2024 15:27:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2019 1:42:58 GMT
Sure whatever no big deal. Not sure when "Santa" will come. And I'll be alone on Christmas.  No WAY! NO F'ing way. You need to put the mama foot down tell her what you want. Bribe if necessary, lol. Edited to add sorry, I did not mean to get all bossy, that just got my hackles up because you were totally overridden and it just seems very unfair and sneaky of that GF. My besties ex husband just pulled a number on here where he got the kids to commit to all of winter break with him, after she had made travel plans. |
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,836
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Dec 21, 2019 1:51:44 GMT
My SIL tried to seduce my husband (her husband’s brother). Somehow I’m the bitch and we have been excluded from a few family events since and have not been invited to Christmas because she feels uncomfortable being around us. Ummmmmmm.... okay. OMG. That is...wow. Did DH know this was happening? Sometimes DH's are clueless...that's just awful. He was not clueless. In fact my in-laws saw it all occur and sent fil out to play chaperone, but have chosen to rug sweep it for the sake of the chosen one... baby brother’s wife. |
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Post by Scrapper100 on Dec 21, 2019 2:55:34 GMT
My SIL tried to seduce my husband (her husband’s brother). Somehow I’m the bitch and we have been excluded from a few family events since and have not been invited to Christmas because she feels uncomfortable being around us. Ummmmmmm.... okay. Wow just wow but seriously don’t think I would want to spend time around her but it would suck to not see other family members. |
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Post by Scrapper100 on Dec 21, 2019 3:01:42 GMT
OMG. That is...wow. Did DH know this was happening? Sometimes DH's are clueless...that's just awful. He was not clueless. In fact my in-laws saw it all occur and sent fil out to play chaperone, but have chosen to rug sweep it for the sake of the chosen one... baby brother’s wife. It’s amazing that being a witness that they are still the chosen one but know how that goes. We are in a similar well no seduction but we are the ones that are excluded due to someone else’s bad behavior. It hurts but it is what it is. Hubby is used to being last in his family. It still sucks though. |
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Dec 21, 2019 3:23:20 GMT
I gave up. I’m in bed...
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Post by tentoes on Dec 21, 2019 4:50:21 GMT
I am sorry for all of you with family problems--especially this time of the year. That is so sad.
I hope you all can put away all the hurt, and try and have a wonderful time despite the fact it didn't turn out the way you planned. ((HUGS)) to you all, and Merry Christmas.
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 21, 2019 13:00:06 GMT
OMG. That is...wow. Did DH know this was happening? Sometimes DH's are clueless...that's just awful. He was not clueless. In fact my in-laws saw it all occur and sent fil out to play chaperone, but have chosen to rug sweep it for the sake of the chosen one... baby brother’s wife. They would be dead to me. Seriously. |
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 21, 2019 13:01:53 GMT
I’m so behind... ...and hubby is sitting on the couch watching me work with a killer headache. Give him a list and a timetable. Seriously, my DH is SO completely clueless abut how much work the holidays are. He has to be told what needs to be done, with specifics. |
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Post by rainangel on Dec 21, 2019 13:15:31 GMT
I spwnt a lifetime being verbally and emotionall abused by my mother. Last year I openly spoke about it and went very low-contact with her.
Nobody in my family believes me because mother is 'great'and I have always been 'a bit unstable' (wonder why....)
For my kid's sake, and my father's, I am spending Christmas with this entire family. Mother who denies ever being abusive, family who believes I am making stuff up for attention. Because my family is perfect, we just close our eyes to the rottenness inside of it.
I wonder what would happen if I told the family about my recently deceased grandfather who used to touch my breasts when I was 13-16 years old? I would probably be run out of town for not grinning and bearing it, and shut the hell up about it!
So Christmas should be appropriatly awkward with lots of fake smiling and internal eye-rolling.
At least my kids will have a good time. And mother makes a hell of a Christmas dinner. I'll keep my mouth busy with more food, and less honesty.
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sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by sweetpeasmom on Dec 21, 2019 13:30:52 GMT
I'm going to try and keep this short. About 14 years ago, we decided we wouldn't travel around anymore on Christmas day. We told mil that we'd come and spend Christmas Eve with them and she was more than welcome to come on Christmas day to our house to see the kids (she's only come once). 3 Christmases ago, one of my sil's asked to move the family Christmas Eve to the day before. Her mil was coming into town. Ok so we did. Then it moved to the 22nd last year. It frustrated my kids and dh b/c they feel they are being pushed aside (there is more history to them feeling like that). So this year I get the text to again have it on the 22nd. Sil says she has to work on Sat (today) and Monday. I replied that the 22nd doesn't work. DD has a conflict that couldn't be changed. She responded with frustration and stated (here's is what pissed me off) that Christmas Eve is for the Smiths (using her married family's name). Remember we had been doing Christmas Eve for many years. I asked if there was any way to do just a few hours on Christmas Eve. At the time, I thought both of us had to work Christmas Eve and we could do dinner. She said no they spend the entire day with her fil. Keep in mind they all live w/in 10 mins of each other. We live 1hr away. So this isn't like they don't see each other but once a year (as it is we only see them about 2-3 times a year). She agreed to today after she gets off work.
All of this has put a bad taste in my mouth. I really try hard to facilitate a relationship for my kids (17 & 15) and dh with them. But it really seems to be a one way street and has been for years. I don't want there to be drama (my family has enough of that). But I hate that my dh and kids feel slighted. Like they aren't important. To top it off, I got a text Thurs night from my mil saying that we need to make sure we are there right on time b/c sil had to turn clients away today to make it on time. This is coming from my mil that is never on time for anything. Dh said heaven forbid, let's all cater to sil.
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Post by sawwhet on Dec 21, 2019 13:43:57 GMT
Ever since my MIL passed away, dh's family doesn't have a plan for Christmas. Sometimes we get together at a restaurant. Sometimes it's in February or March. Last year it was a BBQ in July rather than Christmas. Yesterday dh received an email that his sister, BIL and son were coming into town next Friday and they've booked a restaurant for everyone. Well, dh, dd, and ds will be working. They all had to pick shifts a few weeks ago. I guess I shouldn't complain, we often find out about family events AFTER the event has happened.
The last time that the family got together was my nephew's out-of-town wedding. Everyone was invited EXCEPT my adult children (the grooms first cousins). All the other cousins were there. I was like WTAF? Every family member but my kids were invited. My SIL is extremely jealous and doesn't really acknowledge our kids, never has. I would assume that she helped my nephew's wife with the family wedding list. Nephew's bride is from out of town and we don't know her very well. I told my dh that I was done with them. Dh said, well they probably made a mistake. Who the heck makes that kind of mistake? You don't check a wedding list to make sure the immediate family is on it? No, it was intentional.
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Post by theroadlesstraveledp on Dec 21, 2019 16:48:55 GMT
To SO. Your grandma is 95. I don't have grandparents anymore. You are lucky to have her. Call her and make whatever tiff you had right. I am in the middle here and I don't like it very much. Fix it as time is not on your side here. Okay I feel better now. I hope some of the rest of you do too.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,836
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Dec 21, 2019 18:41:49 GMT
He was not clueless. In fact my in-laws saw it all occur and sent fil out to play chaperone, but have chosen to rug sweep it for the sake of the chosen one... baby brother’s wife. They would be dead to me. Seriously. I wish it was that simple. I have no family. If they are dead to us the big losers are my kids who will lose their aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. We have no other family to offer them. Also, my father in law has a brain tumor that is causing major health issues. I am struggling with how to resolve this with the least amount of damage to them. |
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Post by Sanibel on Dec 21, 2019 18:56:17 GMT
I spwnt a lifetime being verbally and emotionall abused by my mother. Last year I openly spoke about it and went very low-contact with her. Nobody in my family believes me because mother is 'great'and I have always been 'a bit unstable' (wonder why....) For my kid's sake, and my father's, I am spending Christmas with this entire family. Mother who denies ever being abusive, family who believes I am making stuff up for attention. Because my family is perfect, we just close our eyes to the rottenness inside of it. I wonder what would happen if I told the family about my recently deceased grandfather who used to touch my breasts when I was 13-16 years old? I would probably be run out of town for not grinning and bearing it, and shut the hell up about it! So Christmas should be appropriatly awkward with lots of fake smiling and internal eye-rolling. At least my kids will have a good time. And mother makes a hell of a Christmas dinner. I'll keep my mouth busy with more food, and less honesty. It is terribly sad you are in this situation. I’m sorry your mother and grandfather abused you and people aren’t listening and validating you. I validate you! |
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 21, 2019 19:19:44 GMT
I am going "home" to Phoenix for Christmas with DD13. Dear younger sister insisted we stay with them - great! But she works overnights and will be working the first night we arrive (off the rest) - and even though she insisted it was fine the night we arrive because she will be working (continuing to insist) - she has now since informed me that would it be okay we stay at other (not so dear) older sister's the first night. Probably because she thinks her husband cannot handle our arrival. Other not so Dsister, ugh - we don't hate each other but she's not always been hospitable - DD13 doesn't really know her and it will be really awkward. Ugh. Nothing to do because basically it's a done deal and I don't want to stress out other dear sister. However if she had asked me first, I would have said we would be happy to get a hotel that first night and insisted. Oh well. get the hotel say you never know with the weather this time of year if flights will be delayed and your dd likes the pool. Try yo get one close to the airport if possible. If not, near some holiday displays |
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by julie5 on Dec 21, 2019 19:27:35 GMT
They would be dead to me. Seriously. I wish it was that simple. I have no family. If they are dead to us the big losers are my kids who will lose their aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. We have no other family to offer them. Also, my father in law has a brain tumor that is causing major health issues. I am struggling with how to resolve this with the least amount of damage to them. My kids don’t have a relationship with their cousins aunts uncles or grandmother due to toxic behaviors. Guess what? They’re fine. I was abused by mother and she has told the family I’m the liar. Why would I want my kids around that? |
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 21, 2019 19:28:47 GMT
They would be dead to me. Seriously. I wish it was that simple. I have no family. If they are dead to us the big losers are my kids who will lose their aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. We have no other family to offer them. Also, my father in law has a brain tumor that is causing major health issues. I am struggling with how to resolve this with the least amount of damage to them. I'd make snarky-assed comments all night that were just enough not snarky that they'd all have to guess if I was being a bitch or not. All said with a smile or under NY breath so just the person I wanted to hear, heard. I got a great husband, everybody says they want one just like him |
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Post by padresfan619 on Dec 21, 2019 19:53:55 GMT
I’m so angry at myself. Last night was my company Christmas party and at the end of the night on the way out the door my boss gave us our Christmas bonus. It included cash and a check in an envelope. I left the envelope in the Lyft we took home and didn’t realize it until this morning. I reported it to Lyft and the driver already got back to me and said he didn’t find it. I also told my boss so she can cancel the check. I’m so embarrassed and angry for being so careless.
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Post by rainangel on Dec 21, 2019 20:23:37 GMT
I spwnt a lifetime being verbally and emotionall abused by my mother. Last year I openly spoke about it and went very low-contact with her. Nobody in my family believes me because mother is 'great'and I have always been 'a bit unstable' (wonder why....) For my kid's sake, and my father's, I am spending Christmas with this entire family. Mother who denies ever being abusive, family who believes I am making stuff up for attention. Because my family is perfect, we just close our eyes to the rottenness inside of it. I wonder what would happen if I told the family about my recently deceased grandfather who used to touch my breasts when I was 13-16 years old? I would probably be run out of town for not grinning and bearing it, and shut the hell up about it! So Christmas should be appropriatly awkward with lots of fake smiling and internal eye-rolling. At least my kids will have a good time. And mother makes a hell of a Christmas dinner. I'll keep my mouth busy with more food, and less honesty. It is terribly sad you are in this situation. I’m sorry your mother and grandfather abused you and people aren’t listening and validating you. I validate you! Thank you ❤ |
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craftymom101
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,789
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Post by craftymom101 on Dec 22, 2019 2:33:47 GMT
My children opened their presents from me today and I didn’t have anything to open.
We are flying to see my family tomorrow and I will have a few gifts to open on Christmas (from my parents and sister), but it was still sad. I love Christmas and I love spoiling my boys. I wish someone would take them out to shop for me, though. I know that’s a lot to ask and it will never happen, but having nothing to open from my kids is a bummer.
Next year I might ask my friend to take them shopping and give her money? I’m still thinking about it. It’s been five years... I should be okay with this!
My kids loved their gifts and were appreciative so the day was really fun, but it would have been nice to open a present, too.
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,643
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Post by janeliz on Dec 22, 2019 3:41:04 GMT
Hey mother-in-law—-stop asking your granddaughters what they want for Christmas and then telling them what they’ve asked for is too expensive. And then definitely stop asking me, every damn holiday, if you can just give them one of the things I’ve already bought them.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Dec 22, 2019 12:52:40 GMT
Update....I can't remember if I put this in my original post, but my oldest had a fever Sat-Tues. Today is her first day back at school. At noon I got a call that the 3-year-old had a fever and needed to be picked up. He puked into my hands when I was helping him get in his car seat. So now instead of getting my couple of hours of help tomorrow, I am going to have to cancel my babysitter because I don't want her to catch this bug (I'll still pay her). Which means missing my 6-year-old's and 8-year-old's holiday parties. I was also going to try to squeeze in a couple of last-minute gift pickups with no kids. And I have to figure out if my parents will still take the sick kid on Saturday while I am supposed to be hosting a party for 40. (((Hugs))) I'm sorry. |
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Dec 22, 2019 13:04:40 GMT
Next year I might ask my friend to take them shopping and give her money? I’m still thinking about it. It’s been five years... I should be okay with this! Definitely involve a friend to help your kids shop. Then it becomes a 'gift' all the way around. You'll be giving your children a lesson in thinking of others and being thoughtful. Your friend will have good feelings about the role she played in this. And you will feel loved and appreciated by the gestures they've all made. Don't go another year without putting this into place. Heck, do it for your birthday and Mother's Day, too. |
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craftymom101
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,789
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Post by craftymom101 on Dec 22, 2019 17:31:04 GMT
Next year I might ask my friend to take them shopping and give her money? I’m still thinking about it. It’s been five years... I should be okay with this! Definitely involve a friend to help your kids shop. Then it becomes a 'gift' all the way around. You'll be giving your children a lesson in thinking of others and being thoughtful. Your friend will have good feelings about the role she played in this. And you will feel loved and appreciated by the gestures they've all made. Don't go another year without putting this into place. Heck, do it for your birthday and Mother's Day, too. Thank you for validating my feelings. I think I will talk to my friend when I get back from vacation and get this set up. My birthday is in March and after years of no one even remembering my birthday, I sent my kids to their dad’s last year on my bday and went out to dinner! |
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 22, 2019 19:16:41 GMT
They would be dead to me. Seriously. I wish it was that simple. I have no family. If they are dead to us the big losers are my kids who will lose their aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. We have no other family to offer them. Also, my father in law has a brain tumor that is causing major health issues. I am struggling with how to resolve this with the least amount of damage to them. I am sorry. You don't deserve this. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 2, 2024 15:27:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2019 22:44:33 GMT
Shiiittttt....never mind my sister being a total witch.
My cousin's husband woke up this am with blood pouring out his nose and mouth. She called 911. He died in the ambulance.
We weren't close (they are from a branch of our family that moved out of state) but how awful. My heart breaks for their whole family. I haven't even called yet-my aunt said their family is not talking to anyone. I can't even imagine.
I was thinking about doing grub hub or someting local to them and having some food delivered there tomorrow. Is that weird? I just want to do something.
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Post by cakediva on Dec 22, 2019 22:54:32 GMT
I had today all planned - I’m done baking for others and today was my day to sit and crochet DDs blanket so I can actually give it to her for Christmas.
I missed an order but client was ok with me doing it today when I did my place card cookies.
But I have a ginormous headache that will just not go away. PMS style.
I pushed through and got the cookies done because I have no other day to do them. But I just can’t focus to crochet.
I even napped earlier to try and make it go away. Helped a wee bit to get me through the cookies but that’s it.
Dammit I have shit to do WHY today of all days???
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Grrrr....
