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Post by ~summer~ on Feb 16, 2020 20:21:24 GMT
I’m flabbergasted that people are expected to share a bed (even a room is super surprising). Would men be expected to share? What if you snore horribly? What if you are a lesbian? Does it make any difference? Seems like huge liability WTF? So what if anyone is a lesbian? ? I guess I don’t understand why it is ok for 2 women to share but not a man and a woman. Or would both situations be ok? I guess I need help understanding why it is ok to expect 2 women to share a bed....?
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Feb 16, 2020 20:33:22 GMT
Honestly, if they’re not willing to give each person her own room, I’d decline to attend. Between my introvert social anxiety and the general squeamishness of sharing a bed and bathroom with strangers, this would quickly cross into the realm of not worth it. I’m still surprised that any district is willing to accept the liability of housing unrelated strangers together in 2020. That’s a big no no most places. I agree. Totally inappropriate.
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basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 11:45:09 GMT
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Post by basketdiva on Feb 16, 2020 21:02:53 GMT
Is it possible a rollaways is being provided or that there is sofa bed in the room?
Call the travel coordinator and get a clarification of the sleeping arrangements. I seriously doubt they expect you to share beds. If they do,then just decline to attend the conference.
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Post by annie on Feb 16, 2020 21:09:46 GMT
They wouldn’t ask male teachers to do this. Just sayin!!!!
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Post by lisacharlotte on Feb 16, 2020 22:05:32 GMT
My other big issue is possible theft. Just because these people are also teachers, I wouldn't be comfortable sharing a room with people that I know of, but don't actually know well, with my personal belongings (especially my purse) being fair game. Also, if they have friends going to the conference and they let them into your room, that's other people with access to your stuff. Call me overly paranoid, but I'm just not that trusting.
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Post by Karene on Feb 16, 2020 22:08:10 GMT
Our company has 2 people share a room but you get your own bed. The men have to share as well, so equal treatment. The last 3 times I went for training, I had a different stranger as roommate. You can request a roommate but I didn't know anyone well enough to ask. Actually it was one way to get to know some people I didn't know before. It worked out okay.
My husband's company always gives everyone their own room.
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Post by AussieMeg on Feb 16, 2020 22:48:01 GMT
Not a chance in hell would I share a bed with a stranger. No bloody way. I would either pay for my own room or not go at all. I think it's disgraceful that anyone would be expected to do that. I wouldn't really want to share a room either, but if I absolutely had to I would.
* I have shared a bed before with a girlfriend when we've gone on our girls weekends, but with strangers? NO WAY.
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
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Jun 26, 2014 23:58:32 GMT
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Post by sassyangel on Feb 16, 2020 22:53:46 GMT
I’m surprised they’re having you share a room like that, for a work conference with people you don’t know.
NYC hotel rooms, in general, are also often very space challenged. There might not to be room for even a rollaway bed. I’d definitely call and check in that.
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 16, 2020 22:55:53 GMT
This is not ok. You need to push back. I would not go if I was expected to share a bed.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Feb 16, 2020 23:04:52 GMT
That’s weird. Most companies/districts don’t make (or even allow) people traveling for work to share rooms because of the potential liability. Honestly I’d go back to your admin and request your own room. No adult should be required to share intimate space with another non-family adult for work. ETA: NO. Do not buy into the “suffer for the kids” mantra. You are an adult professional and deserve to be treated like one. This!!!!!
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katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,448
Jun 25, 2014 23:25:39 GMT
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Post by katybee on Feb 16, 2020 23:08:53 GMT
I hear what you all are saying, and you are 100% correct. I am a professional and deserve to be treated like one. But this is a much bigger issue with education in general—we are NEVER treated like professionals. We are always expected to do more and take less, because “it’s for the kids.” (Nobody would EVER say that to a pediatrician.) I don’t want to brag—but I’m going to. I am very good at my job. I am highly educated and have 17 years of experience. I have had teachers from all over the state come observe me and have inspired teachers from all over the world through my blog and articles i have written. But I still only make $57,000 a year—below the national average.
Nobody is forcing me to go to this conference. The opportunity was presented to me and I am honored and excited to go. I do not want to share a bed with anyone. But I REALLY want to go. I’m not going to pay for my own room, because I have two other personal trips I’m taking this summer and I need to save my money for those. So I’m going to go and try my best to get a rollaway bed. But I’ll continue to fight for teachers on other fronts.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Feb 16, 2020 23:09:27 GMT
Normally there are cheaper hotel rates for conference attendees. I would check and see if there is a rate an what it is. $1900 a night? that is crazy!!
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katybee
Drama Llama
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Jun 25, 2014 23:25:39 GMT
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Post by katybee on Feb 16, 2020 23:15:07 GMT
Normally there are cheaper hotel rates for conference attendees. I would check and see if there is a rate an what it is. $1900 a night? that is crazy!! It’s not actually a conference....it is an institute at Teachers College, Columbia University. So it’s not at a hotel. And the $1900 is for 4 nights. But I’ve found cheaper rates just browsing online...
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Post by elaine on Feb 16, 2020 23:35:00 GMT
I hear what you all are saying, and you are 100% correct. I am a professional and deserve to be treated like one. But this is a much bigger issue with education in general—we are NEVER treated like professionals. We are always expected to do more and take less, because “it’s for the kids.” (Nobody would EVER say that to a pediatrician.) I don’t want to brag—but I’m going to. I am very good at my job. I am highly educated and have 17 years of experience. I have had teachers from all over the state come observe me and have inspired teachers from all over the world through my blog and articles i have written. But I still only make $57,000 a year—below the national average. Nobody is forcing me to go to this conference. The opportunity was presented to me and I am honored and excited to go. I do not want to share a bed with anyone. But I REALLY want to go. I’m not going to pay for my own room, because I have two other personal trips I’m taking this summer and I need to save my money for those. So I’m going to go and try my best to get a rollaway bed. But I’ll continue to fight for teachers on other fronts. It is awesome that you are so giving of and willing to share your expertise - the field is lucky to have you! I also want to reiterate what others have mentioned: I know for a fact that travel budgets and budgets that involve things that directly impact kids in the classroom are very separate things. And saving $ in the travel budget will have absolutely no direct impact on the kids, no matter what someone in your administration is telling you. That money will NEVER be used for anything but travel. I’m actually somewhat peeved on your behalf that someone is lying to you to persuade you accept unprofessional travel arrangements.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Feb 17, 2020 0:36:20 GMT
WTF? So what if anyone is a lesbian? ? I guess I don’t understand why it is ok for 2 women to share but not a man and a woman. Or would both situations be ok? I guess I need help understanding why it is ok to expect 2 women to share a bed....? What has any of that to do with being a lesbian?
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Feb 17, 2020 0:44:18 GMT
I have never had an issue with either telling folks they had to share a room, if they were unwilling to do so, requiring they pay half the room. I draw the line at expecting folks to share beds. I don't even like to share a bed with people to whom I'm related.
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Post by Merge on Feb 17, 2020 0:52:44 GMT
I guess I don’t understand why it is ok for 2 women to share but not a man and a woman. Or would both situations be ok? I guess I need help understanding why it is ok to expect 2 women to share a bed....? What has any of that to do with being a lesbian? Slow your roll. She’s saying that if it’s inappropriate for a man and woman to share a room or bed on a work trip because of the potential for sexual activity, shouldn’t it also be inappropriate for two women or two men on the same basis? This is 2020 and we accept that people may be of any orientation. Best to give each person his/her own room for comfort and privacy. It was a huge thing in my daughters’ high school when two girls who were dating were allowed to share a room at a creative writing conference. How is this different from a girl and boy who are dating to share a room, which is strictly forbidden? The answer is that it’s not, but our outdated mode of thinking is that same gender people could not possibly be getting it on in a hotel room.
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Post by myshelly on Feb 17, 2020 1:00:48 GMT
I guess I don’t understand why it is ok for 2 women to share but not a man and a woman. Or would both situations be ok? I guess I need help understanding why it is ok to expect 2 women to share a bed....? What has any of that to do with being a lesbian? I think you’re trying really hard to cause an issue where there isn’t one. She’s not saying anything negative about lesbians.
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Post by ~summer~ on Feb 17, 2020 1:18:22 GMT
Thank you I’m likely not making my point well. I’m just confused why it is ok for two women but not a man and women to share a room or bed. And as a transgender women or a woman in a relationship with another woman this situation might make me particularly uncomfortable. And my wife might not like it either! I’m not going to continue to debate this point... I almost wonder if the whole thing isn’t a mistake - if there aren’t really 3 people in the room or if the room has a pull out sofa?
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Post by Merge on Feb 17, 2020 1:24:28 GMT
Here’s another thing: I am of the (admittedly unpopular) opinion that my off hours are my own. My employer cannot compel me to spend my free time socializing with co-workers or doing work-related things. If they send me to a conference, that’s for their benefit and not my personal benefit. Therefore I expect to have freedom, including from co-workers, if I so desire outside of working hours. That means a room of my own.
I hate the working culture in this country that says that people are expected to give their whole lives to the company, and give up dignity and privacy in situations like these. No thank you. I’m over it.
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carhoch
Pearl Clutcher
Be yourself everybody else is already taken
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Jun 28, 2014 21:46:39 GMT
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Post by carhoch on Feb 17, 2020 1:34:19 GMT
It's paid, not payed. Paid refers to money. Payed is a boating term. Even if you are a teacher in real life ...don’t
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carhoch
Pearl Clutcher
Be yourself everybody else is already taken
Posts: 3,028
Location: We’re RV’s so It change all the time .
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Post by carhoch on Feb 17, 2020 1:36:37 GMT
I would never agree to share a bed with a stranger.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 21:24:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2020 2:11:17 GMT
There is no way I would share a hotel room with strangers. Public institution be damned. There are other hotels within walking distance of The Plaza that are safe and much less expensive.
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kate
Drama Llama
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Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Feb 17, 2020 2:36:45 GMT
I only share a bedROOM under duress, unless it's with a pal. Sharing a BED I would not do even with a pal. Nope. And for a professional conference? Double nope. If you want to look at other hotels/hostels/airbnbs, you can PM me and I can tell you about the neighborhood around the hotel.
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Post by MichyM on Feb 17, 2020 3:36:08 GMT
It's paid, not payed. Paid refers to money. Payed is a boating term. Even if you are a teacher in real life ...don’t Thank you for saying this. I am so over people who snark on this board for no good reason. I dunno, I think I'm on a shorter fuse lately due to a decades long chronic pain situation rearing it's ugly head in a bit way the last 10 days (and completely altering my life right now), but man, some of you are so unkind to other peas. ANYHOW, we (a collective we) need to start calling it out so it just stops. It doesn't add anything positive to the board. We're all grown ups here. Let's treat each other with respect. I promise to start speaking out more when I see unnecessary snark and/or rudeness here.
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Post by elaine on Feb 17, 2020 3:48:09 GMT
Even if you are a teacher in real life ...don’t Thank you for saying this. I am so over people who snark on this board for no good reason. I dunno, I think I'm on a shorter fuse lately due to a decades long chronic pain situation rearing it's ugly head in a bit way the last 10 days (and completely altering my life right now), but man, some of you are so unkind to other peas. ANYHOW, we (a collective we) need to start calling it out so it just stops. It doesn't add anything positive to the board. We're all grown ups here. Let's treat each other with respect. I promise to start speaking out more when I see unnecessary snark and/or rudeness here. (((Hugs))) I am so sorry you are in pain. It is awful. And life-robbing. I hope you get some relief soon.
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Post by MichyM on Feb 17, 2020 4:17:46 GMT
Thank you for saying this. I am so over people who snark on this board for no good reason. I dunno, I think I'm on a shorter fuse lately due to a decades long chronic pain situation rearing it's ugly head in a bit way the last 10 days (and completely altering my life right now), but man, some of you are so unkind to other peas. ANYHOW, we (a collective we) need to start calling it out so it just stops. It doesn't add anything positive to the board. We're all grown ups here. Let's treat each other with respect. I promise to start speaking out more when I see unnecessary snark and/or rudeness here. (((Hugs))) I am so sorry you are in pain. It is awful. And life-robbing. I hope you get some relief soon. Thank you. I know I was being whiny, sorry. It really has impacted how I'm interacting with people IRL, and how some stuff online is getting on my nerves.
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Post by myshelly on Feb 17, 2020 4:32:43 GMT
Even if you are a teacher in real life ...don’t Thank you for saying this. I am so over people who snark on this board for no good reason. I dunno, I think I'm on a shorter fuse lately due to a decades long chronic pain situation rearing it's ugly head in a bit way the last 10 days (and completely altering my life right now), but man, some of you are so unkind to other peas. ANYHOW, we (a collective we) need to start calling it out so it just stops. It doesn't add anything positive to the board. We're all grown ups here. Let's treat each other with respect. I promise to start speaking out more when I see unnecessary snark and/or rudeness here. She made the same spelling error on another thread, so it wasn’t just a typo. Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you? She’s a professional and this makes her look rather unprofessional. I don’t understand getting offended when someone points out an error. Why not choose to learn from it? The person who corrected her wasn’t snarky or bitchy in the least.
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katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,448
Jun 25, 2014 23:25:39 GMT
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Post by katybee on Feb 17, 2020 4:46:29 GMT
Thank you for saying this. I am so over people who snark on this board for no good reason. I dunno, I think I'm on a shorter fuse lately due to a decades long chronic pain situation rearing it's ugly head in a bit way the last 10 days (and completely altering my life right now), but man, some of you are so unkind to other peas. ANYHOW, we (a collective we) need to start calling it out so it just stops. It doesn't add anything positive to the board. We're all grown ups here. Let's treat each other with respect. I promise to start speaking out more when I see unnecessary snark and/or rudeness here. She made the same spelling error on another thread, so it wasn’t just a typo. Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you? She’s a professional and this makes her look rather unprofessional. I don’t understand getting offended when someone points out an error. Why not choose to learn from it? The person who corrected her wasn’t snarky or bitchy in the least. I also made the same mistake on May 10, 2019 at 11:03pm. You need to update your spreadsheet.
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Post by elaine on Feb 17, 2020 4:50:34 GMT
She made the same spelling error on another thread, so it wasn’t just a typo. Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you? She’s a professional and this makes her look rather unprofessional. I don’t understand getting offended when someone points out an error. Why not choose to learn from it? The person who corrected her wasn’t snarky or bitchy in the least. I also made the same mistake on May 10, 2019 at 11:03pm. You need to update your spreadsheet. I honestly don’t care how you spell “paid,” but you misspelled it on the current Costco membership thread 12 hours ago. Just a heads up before myshelly goes snarky again about this too.
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