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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 23, 2020 15:00:59 GMT
I have always been a free spirit kind of spontaneous person. I have never been a schedule sort of person outside when I have to be at work. I even have a hard time committing to regularly occurring events outside my home (like craft night with my girlfriends or Thursday night yoga) just because I think I have always been the sort to want to middle finger obligations.
Well this weekend came and went and I accomplished very little. I spent most of my weekend just watching paint dry on the ceiling and fluffing around the internet which does absolutely nothing for my well being. But I listened to two podcasts on Monday that made me think. One was a Not Your Average Runner podcast on setting a minimum baseline goal. This was interesting to me because I am generally not a goal setting type of person. I accomplish things, of course, but always on my own free schedule. I thought this might help me with my running. Because facts, a cold day can make me shy away from running. But if I get out there and it's not too terribly cold and nasty, just the action of getting myself out there and I do it. And I feel good about doing it once it's done. Then I listened to Losing 100 Pounds with Corinne Crabtree podcast (and I swear she's totally got all her shit right together to the point where I'm envious of just how in control she seems) and she said she schedules everything, including her downtime.
So I decided to embark on an experiment with the idea that maybe I can better harness the squirrels in my brain if I plan my time using this minimum baseline approach. I thought that I may enjoy my downtime more because I will plan it better and get in all the activities I'd like to accomplish. So I set up a tentative plan. And here's how I've been rolling the past two days.
5 am wake up, coffee, surf internet
6 am, run at least 1 mile (my minimum baseline)
7 am-12 work
12-1 pm make lunch and clean up around the house
1 pm-4 pm work
4 pm-5pm crochet
5 pm -6:30 pm make dinner, eat dinner, clean up dinner
6:30-7:15-7:30 watch one show with my husband
7:30-8:15 do yoga and meditate
8:15-9pm read a book
9 pm lights out.
And I have to say, it's been a very interesting experiment. I'm not hating it as I thought I might. The quick change ups keep me from losing interest in an activity. So basically, I'm doing alright.
But now the weekend is coming and I'm struggling with if I want to plan my time during the weekend. I'm a bit afraid if I don't, I will have another weekend where I accomplish absolutely nothing. And that doesn't feel good to me. But a whole day with no work taking a huge chunk of my time feels overwhelming.
Do you do this? Every day? Weekdays only? Since the shut down? Does it make you feel more in control of your anxiety? Anything you want to share or discuss about how you plan your time is welcome. I'm just curious what others do and what kind of results they yield.
Update:
I wanted to update and just say, I planned a much looser schedule for the weekend and it worked out really nice. I managed to get 6 scrapbook layouts done, a lot of crochet, my kitchen and dining room completely cleaned and disinfected, 5 loads of laundry, 2 walks with my dog. And yesterday afternoon, I spent my entire afternoon just looking at scrapbook albums. I've been scrapbooking for twenty years and it was a wonderful walk down memory lane.
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Post by refugeepea on Apr 23, 2020 15:04:16 GMT
no
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Post by Linda on Apr 23, 2020 15:09:50 GMT
I don't do well with schedules...as soon as I miss one time-frame, the whole day is shot
I do better with routines - these things happen when I get up, these things happen after breakfast, these things after lunch, those things before dinner, these other things after dinner....Because I'm going to eat and I'm going to sleep...so for ME, tying other things into those activities works better than tying things to a clock.
But yes, my routines are struggling right now and it's not good for my mental health either.
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,025 
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Apr 23, 2020 15:12:54 GMT
I don't work so my days are pretty open, especially right now, although I'm on constant standby to help the kids with their distance learning. For me I make a few goals of what I want/need to get done each day: dishes, walk dog, organize something. When I find myself looking for something to do these are my go tos. Then as long as I have these things done (can change depending on the day and what needs to be accomplished) I let myself do other stuff like watch TV, scrapbook or just do nothing.
When I've had a lot to accomplish I have done a schedule like what you have just for one day or a large block of time.
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Post by Neisey on Apr 23, 2020 15:16:27 GMT
If it works for you that's great. If you want to try a more flexible weekend schedule I think you could get some things accomplished but give yourself a bit more leeway in when priority items gets done, how long you allow yourself to accomplish a task, or allow yourself free time built in to the schedule.
I'm more of a list maker so would instead generate a list of things I want to accomplish in a day (or in a weekend.) I would prioritize as needed. I am a wonderful procrastinator but generally get the things I need/want to get done by the end of the day. Works for me.
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Post by ~summer~ on Apr 23, 2020 15:25:51 GMT
The only thing I schedule every day is exercise (running or walking). I try to think of it as brushing your teeth or fixing dinner - just something you do!
I also make sure I read - I guess that is another thing I think should just happen every day without questioning it.
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Post by freecharlie on Apr 23, 2020 15:34:28 GMT
Hell no. I can barely schedule work time right now.
I'm not a commitment person as my personality quiz thing always shows. I like to do things, I just don't want to have to have it schedule.
I sometimes make a to do list and try to get it done.
It would be a good idea to make a schedule, I just don't wanna <said in a whiny voice while stomping my feet>
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Post by hop2 on Apr 23, 2020 15:35:57 GMT
I plan some things. I still like/need some unplanned free time where I can just be.
If I don’t have any unplanned time then if I choose to just be then I feel like guilty about not doing whatever it was I was ‘planned’ to do
I even enjoy vacation more with ‘open’ times/days
However, right now I do need to schedule something so there isn’t this vast void of ‘when is it again?’ Which day?
So I have planned times to stretch & walk. I saw my dog changing his schedule too much which will be a big issue when I go back and he isn’t used to pooping before 8 am so now I stretch or walk during my ‘commute’ time do we are back on ‘schedule’ so he won’t be shocked when I have to leave at 7:45 for work.
I suggest you loosely plan weekends or make a minimum list of things you want to do but not specific time slots?
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 23, 2020 15:53:18 GMT
I don't do well with schedules...as soon as I miss one time-frame, the whole day is shot So far, I am not like this. I think a lifetime of depression has gifted me with the ability to not beat myself to a bloody pulp over not getting things done. With that said, this very loose time frame we are in right now has made me resist accomplishing even a minimum amount. I do better with routines - these things happen when I get up, these things happen after breakfast, these things after lunch, those things before dinner, these other things after dinner....Because I'm going to eat and I'm going to sleep...so for ME, tying other things into those activities works better than tying things to a clock. This is a very interesting way to do things. I think it basically ties your levels of activity to something you are automatically are going to do. This stay at home time right now has given me more flexibility than I know what to do with. But yes, my routines are struggling right now and it's not good for my mental health either. This is where I'm at. Looking at changing up things so basically I can relieve some of the pressure I feel while also making time for things I enjoy doing. I'm more of a list maker so would instead generate a list of things I want to accomplish in a day (or in a weekend.) I would prioritize as needed. I am a wonderful procrastinator but generally get the things I need/want to get done by the end of the day. Works for me. A list won't do it for me. It feel too much like wishing I was going to accomplish something. It would be a good idea to make a schedule, I just don't wanna <said in a whiny voice while stomping my feet> Haha! Me. Same. But the question is why? That's why I'm trying this experiment. It seems like the perfect time to answer the why question. Why do I hate planning? What is it about a schedule I'm resistant to. If I can plan in enough good for me activities that I enjoy doing I'm thinking I'll be far less resistant to goal setting. If I don’t have any unplanned time then if I choose to just be then I feel like guilty about not doing whatever it was I was ‘planned’ to do I feel a whole lot more guilt just pissing away huge chunks of time like I did this weekend. I look at my schedule like it is fluid. But I am getting to do things that fill up my mental cup. |
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 23, 2020 15:53:42 GMT
When I was in college I had a big, laminated wall calendar. I would schedule every hour. I worked, too. So, I would fit everything into the calendar, including the subject that I would be studying and what I would be doing during that time. Using the syllabus I knew each day what I would be doing and it really helped me to stay focused and organized. Sunday was my day off and that was the only day that wasn't scheduled. With everyone home from college and dh wfh it could really be helpful to do this, again. jeremysgirl, this could really help you and your mood. It takes a load off of your shoulders when you know what's next. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 23, 2020 15:58:16 GMT
it could really be helpful to do this, again. jeremysgirl, this could really help you and your mood. It takes a load off of your shoulders when you know what's next. Yes and I can visually see the time I've planned for activities that nourish me. That's the point. Surfing the internet doesn't fill your mental cup. But doing yoga everyday, that does. Having time to read a good book feels good. Built in time to crochet I enjoy and gets me accomplishing something. The whole point is to fill my extra time with activities I enjoy. And keep me on task with activities (housework) that need to get done. |
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Post by busy on Apr 23, 2020 16:00:58 GMT
You know your mental health needs the best. If this feels like it's helping you, then you should keep going with it and adjust as you need.
For me personally, if I have that much structure and then something gets thrown off, I feel like a failure and it triggers all sorts of negative self-talk and is especially destructive if I'm in a depressive cycle. I do better with setting a checklist for myself each day with three things that MUST get done and then some other things that would be nice to get done. FOR ME, that's more manageable and I'm far less likely to feel discouraged and start beating myself up.
It took me a long time to get to a framework that works for me and my personal strengths, weaknesses, and mental health issues. I kept trying to adopt other people's strategies and that never went well.
It's a process to find what works for you, but I do encourage you to look at what works for you, what's difficult for you, and cobble together something that serves you and your individual needs best.
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Post by peano on Apr 23, 2020 16:04:21 GMT
After suffering with depression for years, I started scheduling my time down to the hour midway through college--classes, work, exercise, etc. Didn't find a need to schedule party time thought  I found it very helpful and may have been one of the life changes I've implemented over the years that helped me lift myself out of the depression. I don't do it down to the hour any more, but I do have a daily list of things I want to accomplish. ETA: I went back and read your post, and saw the part about the running. I've just come to look at exercise as the same as brushing my teeth and showering. It's just a daily activity I do every day unless I'm ill. I still have days where it's windy/cold/snow drifty/icy and I'm dreading going, but I know by now I never regret going afterward, and I always feel better. It's just self-discipline, and I've found that needs to be developed, just like muscles. |
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,461
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Apr 23, 2020 16:05:56 GMT
No. I don’t like to be that scheduled because things come up or I feel like doing something else. I like to leave room for more spontaneity. That said, I do see the value (for myself) of a loose plan or the day or weekend does seem to flitter away without much to show for it at times. What I do is have a list - And I purposely keep it small-of what I want or need to accomplish. Then I can add to it as I see fit and do the items as I feel like it. And if the adding to the list is taking a nap or spending time here that’s fine. For instance, this weekend I haven’t made the list yet but so far I know I want to make one of the bread recipes that was posted here on the bread thread and dd1 wanted to drive to a neighboring city with me for take out from a place she’s been craving. I also want to chat with dh about our plans for a new outdoor space/deck area we are thinking of. And I probably won’t add too much else! Lol
I don’t need to add yoga/ and working out because those are routine to me and I do them daily.
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Post by femalebusiness on Apr 23, 2020 16:07:06 GMT
I'm retired so all I have is free time. I rarely schedule anything. What I have learned is how much the cleanliness of my house depends on the threat of drop in company. I know that isn't happening anytime soon so I am not even cleaning until something really starts bugging me...and sometimes it take a while for it to bother me.  |
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Post by ameslou on Apr 23, 2020 16:22:09 GMT
I schedule fun / self care things on the weekend, but I do so because I'm a compulsive list maker of all the things I "have to do". The "have to do" things are usually something to take of the house or other people. I used the quotes because a lot of the time, they don't actually have to be done, I just feel like I have to take care of all the people and things. When I was a kid, my mom made us do the chores before we could have fun, and I still subconsciously default to that. When I have a longer "have to do" list than I have time available on the weekend, I don't do anything fun or to take care of my own needs. (This is not healthy) ... so my strategy is to write down a list of fun things to include on my "have to do list".
What if you expand on that "minimum baseline" idea and pick a couple of things for a weekend "minimum baseline" .. maybe stuff that makes you feel good, or relaxed, or happy .. would that give you enough structure so that you don't feel like you frittered away your weekend and enough free time to feel spontaneous?
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Post by tc on Apr 23, 2020 16:56:30 GMT
Here's how I approach weekends. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
I make a chart with four columns. The columns are four "categories" of my life. Usually "cleaning/home care" "self-care" "my son" and "other".
Then I try to check off one row an hour - trying to do something from each of the four categories in approximately 15 minutes.
First hour might be load of laundry / craft project / DS's daily handwriting practice / make out grocery list.
The second hour might be clean toilets / read 1 chapter in my current book / DS's thank you notes for birthday party / pick up prescriptions that are ready.
Some "hours" take longer than others.
I aim for 8 rows checkmarked off for the day - approximately 8 hours of "productivity". It works some weekends. It doesn't work others. When I get to 10K steps for the day, I usually stop. But the quick change ups keep me going instead of facing a too daunting to do list.
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Post by teacherlisa on Apr 23, 2020 17:30:51 GMT
Great ideas and different takes on it. I am personally a planner and the more I plan the better I feel. I do not feel bad if I do not finish, and I live alone and so there is no one to make me feel bad if I don't lol.
That said, I have been craving "free time" and have been feeling "busy" all the time. I need to plan a block of "free time" and see how I like it. I have been good about scheduling self care (I did not for a very long time) so I have improved in that area.
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Post by redshoes on Apr 23, 2020 17:38:50 GMT
I think it is an excellent experiment and if you feel better about your time and how it is spent at the end of the day, i.e. accomplished, satisfied, productive, etc. then keep going!! You can also experiment with the weekend by have a 1 or 2 hour window where it's nothing formally listed....open for whatever you spontaneously feel like doing. See how that feels at the end of the day and then decide how you want to handle go forward.
I've listened to the same episode you refer to for PNP and it is very good. I also struggle with not structuring my time on the weekends, and sometimes, I like it and other times i don't. I'm very good at keeping a list of what needs to get done, but then I'll shoot the breeze until I run out of time to get it done and then am disappointed. I always feel better about the days when I get up and get going and get things done and then use evening time to relax.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,185
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Post by rickmer on Apr 23, 2020 17:39:12 GMT
no, i bribe myself to do things i don't want to do. if i finish my taxes, i can watch 2 more episodes of ozark, for example.
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pancakes
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,002
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Post by pancakes on Apr 23, 2020 17:47:09 GMT
I used to do this when I was super busy with school or work.
I think it’s nice to give yourself a reprieve — you know when it starts and ends so you don’t feel guilty or spend time thinking that you should be doing something else during that period of time.
I think it’s a great idea if it works for you.
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pancakes
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,002
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Post by pancakes on Apr 23, 2020 17:48:36 GMT
I'm retired so all I have is free time. I rarely schedule anything. What I have learned is how much the cleanliness of my house depends on the threat of drop in company. I know that isn't happening anytime soon so I am not even cleaning until something really starts bugging me...and sometimes it take a while for it to bother me. Ha! Sometimes my husband and I would purposely offer to host a party or have friends over only to make sure we clean the house. |
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moodyblue
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Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Apr 23, 2020 18:07:23 GMT
I tend to be resistant to a schedule for my time at home. I think this comes from living my work life by a clock for over forty years now - I’ve worked in thirty-minute blocks, or one class period blocks, for so long, constantly checking the time. I dislike almost anything that says I have to do "this" at "this time."
My sister can be very rigid about schedules, although I think maybe she’s lightened up a little bit. But I will never forget being on the phone with her years ago and hearing her say "Well, it’s 12:00 and I said I was going to start cleaning at 12, so goodbye." I always prioritize people over things like cleaning, so I can’t imagine doing that. And I like the random unexpected things, like a neighbor calling me last week just to touch base and see how I was doing; I don’t know how long we talked, but it was for a while, and it was a good thing. I like flexibility.
I also understand that it’s not always a good thing to let yourself slide into total lack of effort in planning or accomplishing things. Right now, with remote learning, I have office hours from 8:30-1:30 on school days. But it can be hard to feel any motivation to do much of anything else. Some days are harder than others - today a friend/co-worker and I have been texting about our total lack of desire to do anything. It doesn’t help that it’s cloudy and kind of dreary outside.
One thing I like to do is make lists, because I like crossing things off and seeing what has been accomplished. It also helps me organize what needs to be done. And I put things on the list that are big items and some that are very small actions. I can look at the list and see what I’ve written down and choose what suits my mood, energy, time available, etc. The list doesn’t have to be for one day or a weekend. I’ve found I like running lists, where I keep adding things and crossing things off. If I cross off the last thing, I’ll toss that list, but lots of times my lists can last for days or weeks, or even longer. I still have the very long one I started after my husband died, listing what I needed to deal with, and there are still a few items left to do on that list.
Finding what works for YOU is what’s most important. You’re trying something new and it may be just what you need. Or you may need to tweak it as you go until you get what feels right.
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Post by anniefb on Apr 23, 2020 18:31:07 GMT
I think if you feel it's helping, then stick with it. I'm very much a planner both at work and in my spare time. I always have in mind a list of things to do and work through. Not necessarily scheduled in a detailed way but usually I know I'd be doing housework and gardening Saturday morning, possibly also some chores or errands after lunch if I have a lot to do. Sunday I try and have a rest day - church in the morning then craft time of some sort or catching up with friends. Maybe a movie if the weather is bad.
Work is always very structured and I have a constant list of to dos and time allocated and, as a lawyer, we still work in recording 6 minute blocks of time!
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 23, 2020 18:55:29 GMT
What if you expand on that "minimum baseline" idea and pick a couple of things for a weekend "minimum baseline" .. maybe stuff that makes you feel good, or relaxed, or happy .. would that give you enough structure so that you don't feel like you frittered away your weekend and enough free time to feel spontaneous? I am planning to use this minimum baseline approach to my weekend cleaning. I kind of like the idea of saying I'll do at least this much and then if I get into what I'm doing continuing. I make a chart with four columns. The columns are four "categories" of my life. Usually "cleaning/home care" "self-care" "my son" and "other". Then I try to check off one row an hour - trying to do something from each of the four categories in approximately 15 minutes. First hour might be load of laundry / craft project / DS's daily handwriting practice / make out grocery list. The second hour might be clean toilets / read 1 chapter in my current book / DS's thank you notes for birthday party / pick up prescriptions that are ready. Some "hours" take longer than others. I aim for 8 rows checkmarked off for the day - approximately 8 hours of "productivity". It works some weekends. It doesn't work others. When I get to 10K steps for the day, I usually stop. But the quick change ups keep me going instead of facing a too daunting to do list. I really like this approach. It's very creative. And it keeps you on your toes, which is nice. I don't have a long attention span. I often pass on a movie, for example, because it's hard for me to sit and focus that long. So that's why I often end up accomplishing nothing on a weekend. Because it's like I don't have the wherewithal to crochet for three hours. Or clean for 3 hours. My brain just doesn't like that idea. I have a hard enough time focusing at work. That said, I have been craving "free time" and have been feeling "busy" all the time. I need to plan a block of "free time" and see how I like it. I have been good about scheduling self care (I did not for a very long time) so I have improved in that area. Yes, do schedule some self care. It may help you to see even if you are really super busy doing non-fun things that at least you did something for yourself in a day. You can also experiment with the weekend by have a 1 or 2 hour window where it's nothing formally listed....open for whatever you spontaneously feel like doing. This is a good idea. This is part of the reason why I enjoy my morning coffee. I just spend that time catching up. you know when it starts and ends so you don’t feel guilty or spend time thinking that you should be doing something else during that period of time. This seems like a nice bonus too. The finality of it. I have given myself X amount of time for example to complete a chore. And when I'm done, I'm done. I can mentally move on from it. |
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Apr 24, 2020 1:15:34 GMT
In general, I don't like schedules or having a strict "time constraints" itinerary....especially in regards to my free time.
Obviously some stuff is scheduled (work, dinner with a friend, concert, invited to bbq, medical appts, personal appts, etc..).
As far as day to day, I usually just go with the flow and "do or not do" based on how I am feeling at the moment or based where something falls priority wise on my "to-do list" or based on (location-wise)where I have to be on any given day.
Sometimes doing something happens spontaneously.
I usually have a "to-do list", just so I don't forget anything. I add to it or cross things off, throughout the day. Some things are priority, some are not. I usually update my to do list as a part of my evening chores.
When things were usual and normal(not under the current stay home order), I tried to get errands done on my way to and from work. As well as do household chores(laundry)in the evening on a work day, so that my day off isn't spent doing tedious errands and chores.
I like for at least one of my days off to be a stay at home day.
Prior to the "stay at home" order.... my free time ebbs and flows. Some days I do a lot, somedays I do a little, some days I stay in my pajamas and do nothing(meaning surf the net, read, lounge around, etc..).
I think time management is a personal thing. Some people need structure and schedules. Some just go with the flow and what needs to get done, always gets done. Both ways are okay.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Apr 24, 2020 1:29:05 GMT
I don't do well with schedules...as soon as I miss one time-frame, the whole day is shot I do better with routines - these things happen when I get up, these things happen after breakfast, these things after lunch, those things before dinner, these other things after dinner....Because I'm going to eat and I'm going to sleep...so for ME, tying other things into those activities works better than tying things to a clock. But yes, my routines are struggling right now and it's not good for my mental health either. You summed it up well. I do well with routines. Like evening routine (check bank account, check cat food and water, tidy kitchen, litter box, check to do list, clean out purse). Sometimes I do it all at once-done-done-done-etc..), sometimes it gets done here and there throughout the evening. On occasion I skip a thing or two. |
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 24, 2020 4:07:07 GMT
When I was teaching and raising my kids, I had a pretty tight schedule, but on the weekends when we weren't at sporting events, it was down time. My brain needs time to veg or create. Now that I am retired, I could probably get more done with a schedule, but why? It will get done when it gets done.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 24, 2020 15:10:10 GMT
I don't do well with schedules...as soon as I miss one time-frame, the whole day is shot I do better with routines - these things happen when I get up, these things happen after breakfast, these things after lunch, those things before dinner, these other things after dinner....Because I'm going to eat and I'm going to sleep...so for ME, tying other things into those activities works better than tying things to a clock. But yes, my routines are struggling right now and it's not good for my mental health either. This is me too. Once I lock in a time for anything and that window gets screwed up, the whole rest of the day is then off. My Corona schedule is totally out of whack right now because my kid is home and I can’t always do what I usually did because now I have to keep her on track. For example, Monday morning I always used to get started with the laundry first thing. Get DD going for school and out the door. Have breakfast myself. Switch the laundry. Start in on paperwork for work and do that while listening for the washer and dryer to switch them out until lunchtime. Have lunch around 12:30. Go back and finish up my office work for the day after lunch (while still switching out laundry loads), then I’d start in folding the clean and dry laundry until DD got home from school, at which point I’d help her with homework or whatever until DH got home, help out with dinner, clean up the kitchen, relax a little for maybe an hour, get DD going to get her to bed. An hour or so to watch the late news with DH, then I’d go to bed myself. I’d have similar schedules for the other days of the week too, with different things getting accomplished on different days pretty routinely. The laundry got done, the house was clean, the shopping got done, DH’s office stuff got done. Every week. But that’s all out the window now. I end up spending from 9:30-3:00 pretty much every weekday lording over my kid to get her to do three hours worth of school work. Ugh. This has to get better or its going to be a really long six weeks ahead. My house is such a total mess. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 27, 2020 10:52:33 GMT
Update:
I wanted to update and just say, I planned a much looser schedule for the weekend and it worked out really nice. I managed to get 6 scrapbook layouts done, a lot of crochet, my kitchen and dining room completely cleaned and disinfected, 5 loads of laundry, 2 walks with my dog. And yesterday afternoon, I spent my entire afternoon just looking at scrapbook albums. I've been scrapbooking for twenty years and it was a wonderful walk down memory lane.
I feel like my weekend was a perfect blend of downtime and accomplishment.
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