|
Post by catmom on Jun 30, 2020 18:43:40 GMT
Well, that was fast www.today.com/parents/dave-hollis-first-solo-weekend-after-split-rachel-hollis-t185475Dad's first weekend alone w/the kids. Kinda gross to me to put makeup on little kidsĀ (even for "performances"). ""(It was) Noah's first recital," he wrote, alongside an adorable photo of the little girl wearing a blue dress while Hollis took a photo. " True Texas form, that meant lipstick, blush, eyeliner & mascara. I don't know mascara but 3 of 4 felt like a dang win ā she just kept saying 'I'm so beautiful.' She is."" She IS beautiful and she shouldn't start internalizing it's because of the makeup. It doesn't mean "lipstick, blush, eyeliner & mascara" unless you buy into that, dad. Without reading the article. He might not have had a choice in the matter. When my kid did ballet (all the way up here in MI) a few years ago the big performances required full stage makeup. Eyes heavily shadowed and gobs of mascara. Ridiculous amounts of lipstick. Way too much dark blush. It was insane. I wasnāt happy because my kid was 5. 5 and all that makeup. My kid wasnāt happy because she thought it looked bad. That was the end of ballet for us. š. For more reasons than bad stage makeup. In that case Iāll stand down my outrage. I assumed he was doing it on his own. I think they are my BEC at this point.
|
|
|
Post by catmom on Jun 30, 2020 18:46:11 GMT
Oh and in other news, I believe the Hollisā are writing a book about divorce. You know, the right way to do it. blech! this is a joke, right? hopefully?? Still looking for it - I saw someone in another group with a screen shot but now I canāt find it. Possibly Iām losing it.
|
|
|
Post by mom on Jun 30, 2020 19:09:14 GMT
blech! this is a joke, right? hopefully?? Still looking for it - I saw someone in another group with a screen shot but now I canāt find it. Possibly Iām losing it. Rachel has written another book - she finished it right when Covid hit. I heard about it on a podcast. I dont think it is divorce related but instead, about grief.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 15, 2024 3:51:09 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2020 20:51:15 GMT
Yes my experience with performances in groups is they require makeup. Dgd was 12, performing in a carnaval parade with a team riding on a float. They all met and had their makeup applied in the mornings. False eyelashes, glitter and the whole 9 yards. I was just glad I didn't have to try to do it. She would say, wow, I look beautiful and I would answer, "you always look beautiful. Right now you look like a performer". That's brilliant! I hope enough of the younger generation of moms start putting their foot down about whether this needs to be forced/compelled. It's sickening that this is part of what we teach our kids - esp. the tiny ones.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 15, 2024 3:51:09 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2020 21:49:38 GMT
Well thanks. I should maybe say that all the performers, men OR women, were in full makeup. I just thought of it as playing a glamorous role. (In our case,we were working out of country, and we are never going to try to complain or change or ask for exceptions. We are just happy to have opportunities to participate in cultural events as if we belonged there. Glitter for months.) Yeah, the ship has sailed for Xer and Millennial parents putting their foot down about this. It's going to take until the Zs are parents (not too many more years) for makeup to not be seen as necessary for doing a dance or singing a song or playing a piano.
|
|
|
Post by megop on Jun 30, 2020 22:18:35 GMT
Wow, ok. So I haven't read all the comments on this thread, but given page 1, I humbly submit my own story of the buy-in to the message. Not a Hollis fan although I have read her book. Brene Brown as well. Soooooo now to the human experience of mine and what their messaging did for me as a thinking person. After discovering infidelity within a three-decade relationship and after an almost-as-long marriage to my best friend, I divorced. Whatever you want to say, I heavily identified myself as a person, mom, homemaker, counselor, confidant, career-oriented, community leader, but all as a "Mrs." because I believed I was doing the right thing. I built my life as I knew it to be with my partner. Or so I believed. After the discovery, it took me years to get back to the me I knew me to be in college. To get the fire back in my mojo, and release all the woulda, coulda, shoulda talk that existed during that time. Life isn't perfect and I knew that. I was grateful for what I had because I had plenty to be grateful for. But on March 6, 2011 at 10:30 a.m. that belief came down with a crash that I NEVER believed would happen. Subsequently, was I strong? Oh hell yes. I doubled my income, got my MBA and now have a freedom that I enjoy. But it took me a LONG time to stop the woulda, coulda, shoulda talk inside my own head. It did stand in my way. Counseling wasn't the right answer for me, but employing some of the practices that people like Hollis/Brown/others were talking about did, in fact, help me to get to here. I'm a FAR cry from weak. In fact, my feedback from others are much more about my strength and positive attitude. It wasn't until I took ownership of all of my actions, all of my decisions, all of my choices and acknowledge that as a grown woman, I get to deal with any and all fallout from those in spite of what used to be seen as someone who, to me, did tremendous damage to our entire family. What I get from messaging such as what Hollis and Brown put out there, is take it for what it is, use what/if anything works for you, don't be delusional, but for got sake stop wallowing and move forward no matter how small that step is because eventually, you will get there. Giving people hope to think about a different way isn't always a bad thing to me. It worked for me. May not work for anyone else. Just my two little cents. Worth less than one.
|
|
|
Post by crimsoncat05 on Jun 30, 2020 22:46:59 GMT
Yeah, the ship has sailed for Xer and Millennial parents putting their foot down about this. It's going to take until the Zs are parents (not too many more years) for makeup to not be seen as necessary for doing a dance or singing a song or playing a piano. I hardly ever wear makeup personally, but I do have to say, it's not necessarily about appearing beautiful or glamorous for a performance-- it's sometimes just as much, or more, about having the person's facial features defined enough to see them from farther away in the cheap seats. (ever seen the way makeup was done back in the day for actors who were in black and white silent movies? it's garish. But it was to capture their facial expressions, and make them more easily seen.) Although if 'beauty or glamour' is part of the role the person is playing, I don't see why makeup isn't useful for that, too. It's for a 'role' if it's for performing.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 15, 2024 3:51:09 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2020 4:59:43 GMT
A redditor posted Rachel's weekly email from a few days ago.
Thought the discussion of anger was surprising. It sounded less angry when it was first mentioned a few weeks back:
"Hello There,
I'm writing this week's email and already sure I should not send it out into the world. I promised you guys - and myself - that I'd keep in touch each week, although right now I'm struggling to think of anything lighthearted to say. In fact, I know I don't have anything lighthearted to say, so I'll strive for candid instead.
Have you ever seen an old medieval era map? Not like, in real life (unless perchance, one of you has a penchant for ancient cartography) but possibly a reproduction? If you haven't ever seen one, then allow me to explain something about those old maps I've always loved. Long ago, whenever someone would draw a map and part of it included an uncharted area or a location nobody had ever been to, they'd mark it very specifically.
here be dragons
Any location that was unknown, and therefore dangerous, would be marked with that line and usually drawings of dragons and sea monsters just to be especially clear like, yo, do not go into this particular part of the world because we have no idea what you'll encounter but we're pretty sure it will kill you. The unknown was so scary that it was represented by a terrifying monster.
That's a bit how today feels.
Tomorrow I move out of my home. Tomorrow I pack up a carload full of clothes and books and a cast iron skillet that's held at least sixty years of my family's dinners, and I go to a new place. I am heartsick and also, so angry it's hard to breathe. I want to hunker into a ball and cry forever. I want to drink enough vodka to burn the rough edges all the way off. I will do neither of those things. I will act calm and normal, so my children don't know how upsetting this is -- just like I've done for the last six weeks. Then tomorrow, I will pack up the last of the boxes and I will go to a new house without any furniture and nobody to hear me when I finally fall apart. Here be dragons.
Today is awful. I won't sugarcoat it or try to hide from it. I promise I will be happy again... I swear it. But right now? Damn.
As I write this email, I imagine myself like one of those ancient explorers about to sail out into unchartered [sic] waters. I'm writing to you about what all this feels like so that you understand just how hard it is. Maybe then, when I survive the dragons, you'll know it wasn't because I was fearless but because the future I imagine for myself and my family is greater than my fear. Maybe that truth will encourage you to face your dragons as well.
Thank you for being on this journey with me. Until next time, I love you and I'm rooting for you. xo, Rachel"
|
|
anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,395
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
|
Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 9, 2020 8:01:05 GMT
Never heard of her. I suppose that she is one of those so called influencers.
|
|
|
Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 9, 2020 11:24:22 GMT
@zingermack that email sounds finally like a bit a truth.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 15, 2024 3:51:09 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2020 12:19:39 GMT
@zingermack that email sounds finally like a bit a truth. It does. It also feels somewhat performative. And the fact that she is taking people "on this journey with her" tells me she plans to make bank on the divorce in the same way she made bank on the (sham) happy marriage w/the fulfilled sex life (right up until the week before the divorce was announced).
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 15, 2024 3:51:09 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2020 5:23:03 GMT
Read it 3 times. Still don't understand what the book is about and how it relates to their divorce and the problems they've now admitted they've had (and hidden) for at least a few years. "This morning my friends at @goodmorningamerica made a big announcement for me... the cover of my next book!! š Hereās an excerpt: āI set out to write this book because I have survived crisis and grief many times and I believed I might have something to share that could help others walk through it. I wrote the first draft as a sort of Sherpa, believing I could help guide you over the mountain of grief. Now I find myself back inside grief and editing from an entirely different perspective than the one from which I wrote. Iām no longer a Sherpa, leading from the frontānow Iām also trudging through it with you, which means this book has the unique duality of being a creation both outside and inside of pain. As someone who lives by a plan, who has imagined in detail the next two decades of my life and how they might play out, I can honestly tell you, I never planned for the end of my marriage. Honestly? The fact that I didnāt see this or plan for it makes me feel like an idiot. I will add a bit more honesty and tell you something in confidence. I considered pushing this book away or scrapping the idea altogether. I didnāt think I was readyāI wasnāt sure Iād ever be ready. I questioned whether I could teach and learn at the same timeā because this lesson, this work, feels like the hardest Iāve ever done. Even though the words were written, even though I believed they could be helpful to someoneāI knew it was impossible to keep this book in its original form without acknowledging the fresh destruction I find myself in. And, the idea of writing about something so new goes against everything I have believed about my work. Thereās an old expression that says we should teach or write or share only from our scars, never from our wounds, and I have lived by it. Meaning, I have been intentional about never processing the hard parts of life with you but instead have only ever shared what has been effective for me after Iāve done the work. But here we are. Everything feels fragile and scrubbed raw. Everything feels unreal and uncertain. Everything feels absent of all that matters and simultaneously too big to carry.ā Didnāt See That Coming is out on September 29th. š¤š»" http://instagram.com/p/CDJ78u_JQ8S
|
|
smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,606
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
|
Post by smginaz Suzy on Jul 30, 2020 5:50:30 GMT
I saw that coming. Maybe she needs glasses. Girl, get some glasses.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 15, 2024 3:51:09 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2020 5:57:55 GMT
I saw that coming. Maybe she needs glasses. Girl, get some glasses. Nice.
|
|
|
Post by crimsoncat05 on Jul 30, 2020 14:55:28 GMT
wait, what? she wrote this book before they had / acknowledged they had relationship issues? I like smginaz Suzy's book title a LOT better: "Girl, Get Some Glasses!"
|
|
|
Post by jenjie on Jul 30, 2020 15:17:16 GMT
There comes a time when it would be prudent to call a timeout. Step away from the spotlight. Pause the weekly emails and hunker down with your kids. Be real with the people who are truly your community and let the rest fall by the wayside.
|
|
milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,451
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
|
Post by milocat on Jul 30, 2020 15:18:03 GMT
How do you write a book about divorce before you are divorced? Shouldn't you take some time after to reflect also to offer insight on all of it to make it a better book?
|
|
|
Post by quinmm14 on Jul 30, 2020 15:22:14 GMT
Hmmmm, how about "Girl, you ain't fooling anybody"...
It's all about making bank.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 15, 2024 3:51:09 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2020 15:23:17 GMT
Ok, so this was a total rabbit hole for me this am. I have no idea who this lady is, and did not know until I read this thread. Then I read this buzzfeed article on her, which was pretty good. "āGirl, Wash Your Faceā Is A Massive Best-Seller With A Dark Message"www.buzzfeednews.com/article/lauraturner/rachel-hollis-girl-wash-your-face-self-help-book?bfsource=relatedmanualThis lady (Hollis) gives me the creeps. But this cracked me up and made my time sink totally worth it. (from the article) "I was struck by how liberally Hollis interpreted Bible verses to suit her message, like in a chapter about sex where she quotes Hebrews 13:4 (āLet marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiledā) and says, āwhat I take away when I read that line is that the things that happen in my bed with my husband cannot be weird or bad or wrong.ā " WHAT kind of things do they get up to? The imagination runs wild here.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 15, 2024 3:51:09 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2020 14:42:07 GMT
"Rachel Hollis is a fallen hero, but she sure isnāt acting like it. Sheās back to preaching on Instagram Live. Sheās trying to jump right back so fast that we forget how she fooled us all. Iāve done some reflecting. I know why weāre still mad. And why we may be madder than ever. Rachel Hollis is not sorry that you feel tricked. When the Hollis āpower coupleā first announced their divorce, Rachel stepped away from social media. I thought this was a good move. Go ahead and Taylor Swift this, Rachel. But that didnāt last long. A little over a month and a half later, she was on Instagram Live with a video titled āKeep Going.ā A week after that? She announced her new book, āDidnāt See That Coming.ā Rachel is not oblivious to the criticism, but sheās going to ignore it anyway. This is a couple who has been cashing in on telling people how to be good at relationships, doling out sex advice, holding relationship conferences. And yetā¦ whereās the explanation? Whereās the apology?.. This is not just petty judgment being lodged at her. This is a critique of how sheās treating others. How sheās manipulating others. You cannot claim to be āfriendsā with your social media presence, tell the masses how to better themselves, and then refuse to hold yourself to a higher standard. The truth is she doesnāt care that she mislead you. She just cares that you keep handing her your credit card... Hereās the really f*cked up thing. I nstead of stepping up and apologizing for framing her marriage and her life in a false narrative, she wants us to feel bad for her because the internet is being mean to her... Hereās what she has on task (that we know of) already: A new book launching in September called āDidnāt See That Coming.ā A new virtual health conference, Rise Live, also in September A new name for her business called, āAchre,ā with a tagline of āCreate the Life You Wantā A new app that just launched called the Rise App To recap, Ms. Rachel Hollis took our money with relationship advice that was flawed at best while her own marriage was deteriorating, never apologized for it, and is now rushing to pump out content so fast that we may just forget everything else that happened." medium.com/gigi-love-stories/why-youre-still-mad-at-rachel-hollis-e5cd6ded7a65I'm always surprised when people are surprised they've been taken. When you just accept and "believe" w/o skepticism and critical thinking, expect to be taken. A lot.
|
|