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Post by momof3pits on Oct 30, 2014 21:17:08 GMT
I can't be the only one who wants to see the creepy doll??!
As for the gifts, I hover between ehh avoid drama just buy the requested item, and wtf I'm doing the giving I get to pick out the gift!
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Post by epeanymous on Oct 30, 2014 21:23:18 GMT
I am not sure when gift-giving became this whole "I am going to tell you what I want and you will buy me for it" thing, but I think that has definitely been in my lifetime.
I think close relatives usually do ask what a kid wants and I appreciate the ask. I have five kids and there are only so many band-in-a-box sets we have room for, you know? But I wouldn't imagine non-close relatives would, and there is a big difference between "I appreciate the ask" and "you will do what I tell you."
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Post by gmcwife1 on Oct 30, 2014 21:42:25 GMT
Wow. Just. Wow. Seems to me that some expectations are way too high, and that the spirit of the season is somewhat lacking here and there. I see the expectations high on both sides. I can't believe how often I hear the word crap thrown around here. I have a sister that has little to no extra money. Yet it's very important to her that she gives everyone a gift. She would be heartbroken if anyone spoke about the gifts her and her kids got everyone the way some people here do. She shops at the dollar store, the grocery outlet and thrift stores. She has given everything from expired food to seventeen cent gloves. I have one sister that is like some of the I don't want crap people here that make fun of her gifts behind her back and mocks her  I know she does the best she can. Her love language is giving and the crap that others don't want in their house is the best she can do. |
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Post by myshelly on Oct 30, 2014 21:56:19 GMT
If I don't give an exact list people are going to get my kids duplicate gifts or gifts they already have.
Then the giver is upset because they don't get that moment of pure actual delight when the child opens the present.
My kids are polite and say thank you, but that's not the same as actual excitement.
It's disappointing for both the giver and the recepient when you go off list.
In my family the point of gift giving is that moment when the child opens your present and you see the excitement in their face and watch their reaction. The picking out or shopping for the gift isn't some magical spiritual thing. It's the reaction/moment of opening. That moment is ruined if you go off list and cause a duplicate.
I just don't understand how Christmas works if it's not a managed experience. I'm a control freak, I admit it. My kids are verryy hard to shop for. It's hard to find toys they don't already have. And it's hard to keep up with what they do or don't had because we shop a lot. It's hard to find enough things to tell every person who wants to shop for them. So if you go off list you will be messing up someone else's gift.
In my family we have very specific lists (down to listing UPC codes) and no one goes off list. Everyone likes the lists though.
Grinningcat, you've started multiple threads about gifts lately. It seems none of the people you give to share your sentiments.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:07:40 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2014 22:51:33 GMT
I have to tell my Mom exactly what to get because if I just give her a list of their wants, she buys everything on it, leaving nothing for me or anyone else in the family to buy anything. As they get older, a remote control car isn't good enough. There's a very specific one they want. Same with Nerf guns, Lego sets, etc. I do try to give other family members generalities but it's getting harder and harder. I by no means control what they can or cannot get. I do try to avoid duplicates if I can. Unfortunately they do get duplicates because their Dad will buy the exact same thing so I often hear "I already have this at Dad's."  |
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jj
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Post by jj on Oct 31, 2014 0:10:19 GMT
OP,
I am guessing you don't have children.
If you bought art supplies and play dough for my child, we would be coming over to YOUR house to play with it. And we would keep it there so we would always have something to do at your house incase it is boring.
Seriously, do you have any idea what children do with crayons and play dough?
Just buy what is on the list..... sigh...
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Oct 31, 2014 0:16:56 GMT
If I don't give an exact list people are going to get my kids duplicate gifts or gifts they already have. Then the giver is upset because they don't get that moment of pure actual delight when the child opens the present. My kids are polite and say thank you, but that's not the same as actual excitement. It's disappointing for both the giver and the recepient when you go off list. In my family the point of gift giving is that moment when the child opens your present and you see the excitement in their face and watch their reaction. The picking out or shopping for the gift isn't some magical spiritual thing. It's the reaction/moment of opening. That moment is ruined if you go off list and cause a duplicate. I just don't understand how Christmas works if it's not a managed experience. I'm a control freak, I admit it. My kids are verryy hard to shop for. It's hard to find toys they don't already have. And it's hard to keep up with what they do or don't had because we shop a lot. It's hard to find enough things to tell every person who wants to shop for them. So if you go off list you will be messing up someone else's gift. In my family we have very specific lists (down to listing UPC codes) and no one goes off list. Everyone likes the lists though. Grinningcat, you've started multiple threads about gifts lately. It seems none of the people you give to share your sentiments. I'm experiencing a new form of gifting that I am not used to. I'm trying to sort it out. I apologize that you hate my point of view and my posts. Feel free to ignore me if I bother you that much. I thought this board was about talking things out and sorting things out. As I have said multiple times that I'm letting him deal with his family and different gifting policies. I'll continue to do things the less stressful and easy way in my family. Is that acceptable to you? |
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Oct 31, 2014 0:21:15 GMT
OP, I am guessing you don't have children. If you bought art supplies and play dough for my child, we would be coming over to YOUR house to play with it. And we would keep it there so we would always have something to do at your house incase it is boring. Seriously, do you have any idea what children do with crayons and play dough? Just buy what is on the list..... sigh... Gee, no I have no clue what kids can do when they are unsupervised with crayons and play doh. It's never happened that I've had to clean crayon off the wall or play doh out of the rug. Never. Good grief. And just because I haven't popped out a kid of my own doesn't mean I don't have a clue, but thanks for once again using that tactic. Makes me never want to have kids when I hear that kind of sanctimonious nonsense. The kids I've given craft supplies are supervised and the supplies put away when not in use. I've yet to hear a parent tell me about a disaster with the supplies they've received. Does it happen? Sure. I'm not stupid. I also give things that help mitigate those issues. But thanks for implying that I'm stupid because I don't have kids. And we did buy off the list even though I don't agree with it. His family so we're doing what we're told because that is what wants to do. Boring but it's done. |
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Oct 31, 2014 0:22:00 GMT
I can't be the only one who wants to see the creepy doll??! It's a Lalaloopsy or whatever they are called. Creepy freaking dolls. |
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 31, 2014 0:22:03 GMT
Someone gave me a fart machine for a gag gift. BEST GIFT EVER. I am sure snowflakes parents wouldn't mind.
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Post by lorieann13 on Oct 31, 2014 0:23:30 GMT
Its one thing to offer sugestions when someone ASKS but to send a list of pre approved gifts, thats pushing it.
I love suggestions. I welcome them. But I dont like someone telling me the exact gift I have to buy to fit your standards.
I know who I shop for. I like going out and picking that perfect gift.
But it stinks that when I dont go by the approved list, the item I bought gets put on Craigs list. Yes that has happened.
It sucks. Return it for crying out loud.
Its hurtful. Especially when child loved the gift.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 31, 2014 0:29:30 GMT
I like having some kind of direction on what to buy for people...kids especially. I totally get where your coming from though because it does take the fun out of gift giving. Once I was invited to a bday party for a child and the mother had on the invite that her child doesn't like things under $30 and no dollar store crap. Lol! Well, me either,  but I still get mugs and Starbucks gift cards as teacher. I don't like anything from there. I always thank each child very much and move on. It is the thought that counts and I regift those cards. Now if I could just get my husband to buy me the things I wanted. His gifts need more guidance. |
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Post by myshelly on Oct 31, 2014 0:31:08 GMT
I can't be the only one who wants to see the creepy doll??! It's a Lalaloopsy or whatever they are called. Creepy freaking dolls. Lalas are my favorite dolls EVER!! We have ALL of them |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:07:40 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2014 0:32:13 GMT
Aw, Lalaloopsies are so cute! Lucky girl!
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Post by myshelly on Oct 31, 2014 0:32:15 GMT
If I don't give an exact list people are going to get my kids duplicate gifts or gifts they already have. Then the giver is upset because they don't get that moment of pure actual delight when the child opens the present. My kids are polite and say thank you, but that's not the same as actual excitement. It's disappointing for both the giver and the recepient when you go off list. In my family the point of gift giving is that moment when the child opens your present and you see the excitement in their face and watch their reaction. The picking out or shopping for the gift isn't some magical spiritual thing. It's the reaction/moment of opening. That moment is ruined if you go off list and cause a duplicate. I just don't understand how Christmas works if it's not a managed experience. I'm a control freak, I admit it. My kids are verryy hard to shop for. It's hard to find toys they don't already have. And it's hard to keep up with what they do or don't had because we shop a lot. It's hard to find enough things to tell every person who wants to shop for them. So if you go off list you will be messing up someone else's gift. In my family we have very specific lists (down to listing UPC codes) and no one goes off list. Everyone likes the lists though. Grinningcat, you've started multiple threads about gifts lately. It seems none of the people you give to share your sentiments. I'm experiencing a new form of gifting that I am not used to. I'm trying to sort it out. I apologize that you hate my point of view and my posts. Feel free to ignore me if I bother you that much. I thought this board was about talking things out and sorting things out. As I have said multiple times that I'm letting him deal with his family and different gifting policies. I'll continue to do things the less stressful and easy way in my family. Is that acceptable to you? That seems really defensive. I've never said that I hated your posts or want to ignore you. |
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Post by anxiousmom on Oct 31, 2014 0:38:00 GMT
OP, I am guessing you don't have children. If you bought art supplies and play dough for my child, we would be coming over to YOUR house to play with it. And we would keep it there so we would always have something to do at your house incase it is boring. Seriously, do you have any idea what children do with crayons and play dough? Just buy what is on the list..... sigh... Please don't think that I am being ugly, but do you not allow your kids to play with play dough and crayons at home? Just curious...I had wild things. They had crayons, paints...all kinds of messy stuff. The messier the better in our world. I guess it never occurred to me that some families wouldn't be allowed to play with that kind of thing? |
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camcas
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by camcas on Oct 31, 2014 0:50:44 GMT
....I have 3 nephews late teens to buy for ... I am sure fart putty would be a big hit as we always do gag gifts.... now where to buy in Australia........
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Post by bigbundt on Oct 31, 2014 0:53:11 GMT
grinningcat Avatar
Oct 30, 2014 20:22:00 GMT -4 grinningcat said:
momof3pits Avatar
Oct 30, 2014 17:17:08 GMT -4 momof3pits said:
I can't be the only one who wants to see the creepy doll??!
It's a Lalaloopsy or whatever they are called. Creepy freaking dolls.
Is it the one that poops charms? My daughter is obsessed with it. Lots of little girls I know are obsessed with it. It will probably be a hit!
And I don't think jj meant anything with you don't have children comment. I babysat quite a bit before having a kid, helped out in a preschool even and the messes are different in that they are PLANNED messes. With your kid instead of cleaning up from cute activities that you planned it is your kid shoving play-doh into all of their matchbox cars or putting stickers on your TV while you are cooking dinner. So you get to cook, clean up dinner and then spend 45 minutes of precious, precious post-bedtime prying play-doh out of their toys to prevent their "help" because that means it will take twice as long. It is different because your time is already so limited and then you lose more dealing with the messes that always happen. You have less time, patience, and enthusiasm for those creative messes and constant vigilance to be aware of what is accessible to prevent it in the first place. I never realized how different it was until my daughter hit 3 years old but sorry, it is.
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Post by Tamhugh on Oct 31, 2014 0:55:09 GMT
I'm not going to lie. When my kids were little and they got Play Doh, I occasionally, accidently left the lids off so it dried up. No matter how many rules I had about where they used it, it got tracked onto the carpet, etc. I hate the stuff.
Our kids had too many people buying for them. There were tons of gifts and there were always duplicates. The giver was always upset and offended over it so we started giving pretty specific ideas and keeping track of who we gave ideas to. It has worked much better for everyone. My mom is famous for thinking she found the most perfect, personal gifts and the recipient is thinking, "what the H [HASH]#?" We just smile, thank her, and move on.
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Post by momof3pits on Oct 31, 2014 1:30:40 GMT
Wow. Just. Wow. Seems to me that some expectations are way too high, and that the spirit of the season is somewhat lacking here and there. I see the expectations high on both sides. I can't believe how often I hear the word crap thrown around here. I have a sister that has little to no extra money. Yet it's very important to her that she gives everyone a gift. She would be heartbroken if anyone spoke about the gifts her and her kids got everyone the way some people here do. She shops at the dollar store, the grocery outlet and thrift stores. She has given everything from expired food to seventeen cent gloves. I have one sister that is like some of the I don't want crap people here that make fun of her gifts behind her back and mocks her I know she does the best she can. Her love language is giving and the crap that others don't want in their house is the best she can do. This makes me sad. I would rather get a free gift from the heart of a cherished person that a lavish something that will sit in a drawer. Shame on your other sister. |
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Oct 31, 2014 1:47:36 GMT
I like having some kind of direction on what to buy for people...kids especially. I totally get where your coming from though because it does take the fun out of gift giving. Once I was invited to a bday party for a child and the mother had on the invite that her child doesn't like things under $30 and no dollar store crap. Lol! Well, me either, but I still get mugs and Starbucks gift cards as teacher. I don't like anything from there. I always thank each child very much and move on. It is the thought that counts and I regift those cards. Now if I could just get my husband to buy me the things I wanted. His gifts need more guidance. And that's totally fine you don't like dollar store things. But for someone to tell others where to not buy a gift and not to go under a certain price is rude and tacky IMO. The dollar store has name brand kids toys there just like Walmart so I highly doubt her kid would have noticed. |
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Oct 31, 2014 1:49:21 GMT
I hear you... that would make me really not want to buy gifts for that person.
When my daughter was a kid. we would make a list. Then I would split it up and give the grandmas (she had 9 at one time) all different lists with different things on it... Only because I didn't want 9 of one thing.
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Post by myshelly on Oct 31, 2014 1:51:29 GMT
OP, I am guessing you don't have children. If you bought art supplies and play dough for my child, we would be coming over to YOUR house to play with it. And we would keep it there so we would always have something to do at your house incase it is boring. Seriously, do you have any idea what children do with crayons and play dough? Just buy what is on the list..... sigh... Please don't think that I am being ugly, but do you not allow your kids to play with play dough and crayons at home? Just curious...I had wild things. They had crayons, paints...all kinds of messy stuff. The messier the better in our world. I guess it never occurred to me that some families wouldn't be allowed to play with that kind of thing? This wasn't directed to me, but I'll answer it. I don't do messy. My kids don't do messy. My house is never messy. I don't allow play doh. If they want to paint they do it outside. My kids (3 boys) never played in mud. They don't make huge messes. Since they were babies they have known to out one you away before they get out another. The house gets company ready clean every night before bed. It's just the way we are. |
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 31, 2014 1:57:54 GMT
Well, me either, but I still get mugs and Starbucks gift cards as teacher. I don't like anything from there. I always thank each child very much and move on. It is the thought that counts and I regift those cards. Now if I could just get my husband to buy me the things I wanted. His gifts need more guidance. And that's totally fine you don't like dollar store things. But for someone to tell others where to not buy a gift and not to go under a certain price is rude and tacky IMO. The dollar store has name brand kids toys there just like Walmart so I highly doubt her kid would have noticed. I agree with you a hundred percent. My humor was clearly not evident. A gift is a gift. I think people are too uptight about where things come from. |
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Post by bc2ca on Oct 31, 2014 2:33:40 GMT
I can't be the only one who wants to see the creepy doll??! It's a Lalaloopsy or whatever they are called. Creepy freaking dolls.  At least it's not a Bratz doll. Those were the only ones I actively discouraged anyone from buying DD. |
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Post by gmcwife1 on Oct 31, 2014 2:42:20 GMT
I see the expectations high on both sides. I can't believe how often I hear the word crap thrown around here. I have a sister that has little to no extra money. Yet it's very important to her that she gives everyone a gift. She would be heartbroken if anyone spoke about the gifts her and her kids got everyone the way some people here do. She shops at the dollar store, the grocery outlet and thrift stores. She has given everything from expired food to seventeen cent gloves. I have one sister that is like some of the I don't want crap people here that make fun of her gifts behind her back and mocks her I know she does the best she can. Her love language is giving and the crap that others don't want in their house is the best she can do. This makes me sad. I would rather get a free gift from the heart of a cherished person that a lavish something that will sit in a drawer. Shame on your other sister. Sadly I think there are many people like my snarky sister when I read some of the gift threads here |
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 31, 2014 2:53:38 GMT
I would have loved crafty stuff for my boys when they were little. I don't like messes by a long shot, but most of it is pretty easy clean up. My youngest was a little pig. He spilled everything. One night he was trying to carry a half filled gallon of milk and dropped it. I could see my husband was ready to implode. I read about a mom who said to make those kinds of things learning experiences and I turned it into a little lesson on gravity. He was amazed by the milk and why it falls down and by the time we cleaned it up together, all was fine. I like to credit this little incident to the real reason he loves science and learning.  (Gotta take it where I can.) Several years later he dumped an entire Easter egg coloring bowl of purple die on the carpet. Yup, OxyClean does work on anything. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 31, 2014 5:11:20 GMT
And I don't think jj meant anything with you don't have children comment. I babysat quite a bit before having a kid, helped out in a preschool even and the messes are different in that they are PLANNED messes. With your kid instead of cleaning up from cute activities that you planned it is your kid shoving play-doh into all of their matchbox cars or putting stickers on your TV while you are cooking dinner. So you get to cook, clean up dinner and then spend 45 minutes of precious, precious post-bedtime prying play-doh out of their toys to prevent their "help" because that means it will take twice as long. It is different because your time is already so limited and then you lose more dealing with the messes that always happen. You have less time, patience, and enthusiasm for those creative messes and constant vigilance to be aware of what is accessible to prevent it in the first place. I never realized how different it was until my daughter hit 3 years old but sorry, it is. Yup. DD has a huge Rubbermaid tote full of Play Doh that she rarely gets to play with because that stuff gets EVERY. WHERE. And it smells awful.  She only gets to play with it when I'm sitting right there to watch what she's doing with it. Apparently, there are people (grown people, no less) who like to review toys on YouTube and they also like to put little plastic toys inside "Play Doh Eggs" because it's cheaper than buying new Kinder Surprise type eggs with toys inside to open. So what does my own little snowflake like to do? Put her plastic toys inside big globs of Play Doh. And yeah, it's a special kind of hell trying to get dried Play Doh out of all the nooks and crannies in her toys. Or getting stickers off of the woodwork. Or crayon or markers off of the faux finished walls because you turned your back for literally three minutes to answer the phone. All I can say is thank God for Magic Erasers. Right now I need to crack out a new one to get the "washable" marker off of my wooden kitchen table... |
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Post by ametallichick on Oct 31, 2014 6:19:24 GMT
I wish my MIL would've asked me what my kids wanted/needed.
I think my kids were sick of getting beach towels for Christmas 'cause MIL could get them for $2 at the end of summer.
25 pencils every year with their name on them. Geez woman!!!
I still ask my BIL/SIL what their kids want and they're almost grown.
I have always believed you give someone a gift of something they truly want and would enjoy.
My sister just asked me the other day what my kids want and what my dh & I want for Christmas.
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Post by smokey2471 on Oct 31, 2014 7:07:39 GMT
When my three were little we made an Amazon wish list. It had all types of items and prices and were just suggestions. I would email the list to family and say in the email these are things the kids saw on Amazon you can choose from the list buy something similar or do your own thing. Since we lived overseas it was very easy for my family to shop from the list and have it shipped. We never dictated or said they had to buy anything specific. It was just a helpful tool.
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but I still get mugs and Starbucks gift cards as teacher. I don't like anything from there. I always thank each child very much and move on. It is the thought that counts and I regift those cards. Now if I could just get my husband to buy me the things I wanted. His gifts need more guidance.
At least it's not a Bratz doll. Those were the only ones I actively discouraged anyone from buying DD.
(Gotta take it where I can.) Several years later he dumped an entire Easter egg coloring bowl of purple die on the carpet. Yup, OxyClean does work on anything. 
She only gets to play with it when I'm sitting right there to watch what she's doing with it. Apparently, there are people (grown people, no less) who like to review toys on YouTube and they also like to put little plastic toys inside "Play Doh Eggs" because it's cheaper than buying new Kinder Surprise type eggs with toys inside to open. So what does my own little snowflake like to do? Put her plastic toys inside big globs of Play Doh. And yeah, it's a special kind of hell trying to get dried Play Doh out of all the nooks and crannies in her toys. Or getting stickers off of the woodwork. Or crayon or markers off of the faux finished walls because you turned your back for literally three minutes to answer the phone. All I can say is thank God for Magic Erasers. Right now I need to crack out a new one to get the "washable" marker off of my wooden kitchen table...
