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Post by gar on Dec 15, 2020 16:12:14 GMT
Because I am so proud of him  As I've posted about here before, my Mum died nearly 7 weeks ago. She and my Dad had been very happily married for 61 years  I talk to him every few days and I've been so impressed with all the things he's been doing such as writing and sending all the Christmas cards just like my Mum always did, he's keeping the house spotless and asking me for advice on things like how best to clean the windows, he bought and sent a birthday card and gift to my DD on her birthday yesterday...all those things that were Mum's 'job'. He's 85 and never thought too much about those things before because they were 'Mum's department' but he's stepped up and is determined not to let things slide just because she isn't here to do them any more. And then today I rang him and he's making cheese straws!! Making pastry from scratch!! This is a man I assumed would live on cereal if Mum wasn't there but here he is making pastry and following Mum's recipe so he can drop some round to his lovely neighbours who have been so wonderful to him and Mum over the last year or so. Impressive huh?  ETA I want to just say that I realise it’s early days in the grieving process for him. I know there are, and will continue to be, days when he cries more than he smiles, I know he hates going to bed and waking up without her there and every day won’t be like today...but today was a good day and I just wanted to share that 🙂 |
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Post by frog on Dec 15, 2020 16:14:41 GMT
That's really sweet.
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nylene
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,746 
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Post by nylene on Dec 15, 2020 16:17:15 GMT
He's definitely a keeper. What a sweetheart!
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 15, 2020 16:20:20 GMT
VERY impressive especially so soon after your mom’s passing and holiday time also. I’m sure your mom is smiling down.
((HUGS)) to your dad for being priceless !
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Post by epeanymous on Dec 15, 2020 16:23:39 GMT
Making cheese straws from scratch is more than I have ever done in my life. Kudos to your dad.
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leeny
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Jun 27, 2014 1:55:53 GMT
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Post by leeny on Dec 15, 2020 16:25:25 GMT
What a wonderful tribute to their marriage, he doesn't want to let your Mum down!
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 15, 2020 16:26:07 GMT
Aw, thanks for sharing that. He sounds like a great guy.
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Post by Jessica on Dec 15, 2020 16:31:04 GMT
What a wonderful Dad you have. I'd like to give that sweet man a big hug. Hope you can soon.  |
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Post by femalebusiness on Dec 15, 2020 16:33:11 GMT
I have no words to describe how sweet he is. He must miss her so.
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christinec68
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Post by christinec68 on Dec 15, 2020 16:34:09 GMT
This is one of the sweetest things ever!  |
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Post by KelleeM on Dec 15, 2020 16:34:33 GMT
That’s amazing. I’m happy that your Dad is adjusting so well.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Dec 15, 2020 16:35:57 GMT
Impressive !! Good for your dad!
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Montannie
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Post by Montannie on Dec 15, 2020 16:37:42 GMT
Oh, my! This is so wonderful!
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Post by Mel on Dec 15, 2020 16:38:38 GMT
I think it is wonderful that he is doing all of those things!! Keeping busy, and doing some of the things that she used to do will keep her "alive" and keep his mind occupied. Hugs for you & your Dad!!
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Post by destined2bmom on Dec 15, 2020 16:40:22 GMT
This thread makes me smile. Your dad is so wonderful! What a beautiful love story and tribute to your mom. I can feel the love that they had for one another and your love for your dad.
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Post by malibou on Dec 15, 2020 16:41:17 GMT
What a sweetheart. I love that this is how he has chosen to honour your mom's memory.
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Kerri W
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Post by Kerri W on Dec 15, 2020 16:43:17 GMT
Oh wow! That brings a tear to my eye. I'm proud and I don't even know him!
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Post by Linda on Dec 15, 2020 16:43:53 GMT
He's quite the trooper, isn't he? How sweet
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kelly8875
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Post by kelly8875 on Dec 15, 2020 16:44:18 GMT
Wonderful! Thanks for sharing that, it brings a bright spot to my mood!
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Deleted
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Nov 2, 2024 21:32:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2020 16:52:19 GMT
Aw bless him. What an amazing person he must be gar and you have every right to be proud of him and most of all he should be proud of himself. It's never easy at whatever age one is at but I always think it's far more difficult when you get to that age, especially for a man, after such a long marriage. That generation grew up with the " pink & blue" jobs as I call them. I just hope that this horrible time is over soon especially for the older folk who I think have suffered greatly through this pandemic, not only through the loss of loved ones but the loneliness they have experienced. Is he in fairly good health himself? |
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Post by Skellinton on Dec 15, 2020 16:54:04 GMT
That is just wonderful! I love that he is keeping your mum with him by doing these tasks. What a sweet man!
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MorningPerson
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Post by MorningPerson on Dec 15, 2020 16:56:55 GMT
I love everything about this. What a great lesson on living a good life even in the hard parts.
Thanks for sharing!
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Post by gizzy on Dec 15, 2020 16:57:25 GMT
He sounds so sweet!
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Post by gar on Dec 15, 2020 17:07:51 GMT
Aw bless him. What an amazing person he must be gar and you have every right to be proud of him and most of all he should be proud of himself. It's never easy at whatever age one is at but I always think it's far more difficult when you get to that age, especially for a man, after such a long marriage. That generation grew up with the " pink & blue" jobs as I call them. I just hope that this horrible time is over soon especially for the older folk who I think have suffered greatly through this pandemic, not only through the loss of loved ones but the loneliness they have experienced. Is he in fairly good health himself? He is thank you dotty, a touch of arthritis but really pretty good for his age 😊 |
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Post by Basket1lady on Dec 15, 2020 17:12:10 GMT
I’m am very impressed!
My FIL is just drifting. We put MIL into memory care in October. He’s 88 and they have been married for 66 years. His assisted living apartment has meals delivered now (because of Covid, they aren’t eating in the dining room). He is spending hours each day reading the Bible and watching tv. I keep telling him to hang on to the end of January. They get the vaccine next week and hopefully things will be back to normal by then. I’m hoping he can meet some people and activities will resume.
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Post by unknown pea on Dec 15, 2020 17:15:08 GMT
Your dad sounds like an amazing and sweet man.
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Post by scrapmaven on Dec 15, 2020 17:19:37 GMT
Your dad is an awesome guy and he's making your mum very proud. When my mom died I made my dad a manual for running the house and cooking simple meals. I even had to teach him how to use the washer and dryer. Sounds like your dad is very independent and capable of taking good care of himself.
If there is anything extra that you can think of, I highly recommend the binder. Mostly, I found that after mom died I talked to my dad a lot more often. He needed a lot of help and felt very lost. Luckily, my sister and I make a great team when we need to do so. Your dad is handling things much better. It's a surreal shift isn't it? kelly8875, you might consider this idea for your fil, too.
How are you doing? 7 weeks is still a nano second when you've lost your mother.
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Post by piebaker on Dec 15, 2020 17:21:50 GMT
I admire his ways to cope by assuming the things your dear mom would have done. They must have been quite a pair and so deeply in love.
Please know that he might rebound after the hectic pace of the holidays, but I am sure you will be checking in on him.
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Post by Jockscrap on Dec 15, 2020 17:28:10 GMT
Aww Gar that is lovely. What a great man and what a tribute to your dear mum too, as his actions are honouring her and their happy marriage. He was obviously paying more attention than anyone gave him credit for!
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Post by gar on Dec 15, 2020 17:35:18 GMT
Thanks everyone  piebaker, thank you, yes, that had occurred to me. I'm hoping that once he gets the vaccine and can get out and about more he will enjoy catching up with his friends occasionally, playing a little bowls maybe and so on. He's a very sociable man so I think that in itself will help to give him a lift in the dark months. Basket1lady - I hope your FIL gets a mental lift soon too. scrapmaven - Mum had Alzheimer's so he's had a bit of time to get used to things like the washing machine and luckily my sister lives very close by so is able to help, but the binder is a great idea! I am doing ok. As anyone who is grieving or has grieved will know, it catches you out some days and you suddenly find the tears rolling down, but that's ok. I am trying to concentrate on how she was before the illness...looking at old photos to bring those memories to the fore. Thank you for asking. |
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