uksue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,597 
Location: London
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Post by uksue on Nov 12, 2014 0:33:31 GMT
A kindly nurse saw my letters and enquiries in her notes and asked my fathers permission to inform me.
We hadn't seen each other for over 6 years due to a horrible family fall out. She only just knew who I was then because she was in the grip of Alzheimer's. My dad told me years ago that I am dead to him and not to call him father, and he wrote to my children about 8 weeks ago to inform them they were disinherited. I really don't think he is well and I can't therefore feel anger towards him for what he has said to me, but I do for my sister- she refused to get my mum help when I first alerted the family I thought she was developing dementia ( I am a trained nurse) and the hatred towards me really kicked off back then.
I am glad she has passed because she had no quality of life- she wore nappies and was terribly stiff and twisted in body. She was regularly attacking my dad and sister and the nurses- she would have been HORRIFIED if she had any awareness of what she was doing. Shehad a dreadful fear of developing dementia as her mother had it, and when I recognised the signs in her and asked my sister's help, my sister told my mum what I had said and she really hated me for it.
I can't stop thinking about the fact that she wasn't a Christian, didn't believe in any God. As a Christian myself ( but who came to fate late in life) I feel so scared and lost for her.
Please pray for my mum, and my dad Andy who I am sure is totally devastated .
Thank you.
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Post by kelbel827 on Nov 12, 2014 0:38:48 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Nov 12, 2014 0:39:00 GMT
I am sorry for your mother's passing, and I am sorry for your family's treatment of you. If I had access to the hugging smiley faces, I would put them here for you.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
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Post by caro on Nov 12, 2014 0:39:33 GMT
I am so sorry for all the pain for you and in your family. As a Christian I understand what you are saying. One thing we don't know is if your mom had a chance to acknowledge God and accept Jesus at the very end. I am praying for peace for you Sue.
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Post by molove on Nov 12, 2014 0:41:25 GMT
I'm very sorry. It all sounds so hard.
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Post by ss on Nov 12, 2014 0:42:02 GMT
I am so sorry. Gentle hugs.
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Post by pb on Nov 12, 2014 0:43:23 GMT
I am sorry for your loss and pain. May peace find you.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:32:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2014 0:44:40 GMT
I am so very sorry for your hurt. For your pain. Dementia in and of itself is so damn horrible, but then the falling out just makes it that much more horrible. My dad has dementia, so I know how bad it is. Hugs, prayers and positive thoughts for you and your family at this heartbreaking time.  |
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Post by redshoes on Nov 12, 2014 0:44:43 GMT
I am very sorry for your loss.
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Nov 12, 2014 0:46:10 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss, and for the issues your family has struggled with over the years.  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:32:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2014 0:47:50 GMT
I am so sorry. So many different things going on there at once and so much pain involved.
{{{{ hugs & prayers }}}}
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:32:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2014 0:49:02 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you and your family.
I lost my dad to Alzheimers about a year ago. It was a devastating illness, and affected everyone in the family differently. My mother had a horrible time dealing with him -- it was so hard for her to acknowledge that anything was wrong. They didn't tell anyone how many problems they were having for a long time, so it became a real emergency when we figured out how bad it had become. I only say this because the reactions were different for everyone in my family -- sad, angry, and embarassed were just a few of the ways people reacted. It was as hard dealing with the family as it was dealing with him.
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oaksong
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,167
Location: LA Suburbia
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on Nov 12, 2014 0:49:07 GMT
I'm so sad for everything you had to go through and for the loss of your mother. Prayers and hugs to you...
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Nov 12, 2014 0:49:32 GMT
It's sad what division can happen in families and the dementia makes it even harder to resolve it. I'm sorry that it's been that way for you. My condolences on the loss of your mother.
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Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Nov 12, 2014 0:49:45 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. (((Hugs)))
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:32:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2014 0:50:27 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss and all the pain that surrounds this.
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Post by littlemama on Nov 12, 2014 0:50:58 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss, both then and now. Hugs to you.
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Post by SabrinaM on Nov 12, 2014 0:52:16 GMT
I'm so sorry... I'm sure you're juggling a lot of emotions right now. Through it all, I wish you peace. ((Hugs))
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Post by KelleeM on Nov 12, 2014 0:52:40 GMT
I'm so very sorry.
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,672
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Nov 12, 2014 0:53:03 GMT
I am so sorry for all the pain for you and in your family. As a Christian I understand what you are saying. One thing we don't know is if your mom had a chance to acknowledge God and accept Jesus at the very end. I am praying for peace for you Sue. Well said. I'm sorry for your loss, op. It must be hard to not be able to grieve with your family. |
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Post by Basket1lady on Nov 12, 2014 0:56:18 GMT
I'm so sorry for all that you are going through.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Nov 12, 2014 0:58:22 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:32:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2014 0:59:09 GMT
I'm so sorry for what you are going through.
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Post by traceys on Nov 12, 2014 1:00:23 GMT
I'm really sorry for your loss and the family pain you are experiencing. I'll be praying for all of you. (((((Hugs)))))
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,975
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Nov 12, 2014 1:02:02 GMT
I'm very sorry for your loss.
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,213
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Post by mimima on Nov 12, 2014 1:03:08 GMT
I'm sorry - may her Memory be Eternal
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Post by flanz on Nov 12, 2014 1:05:33 GMT
I'm sorry Sue. Sending you hugs across the miles.
xo
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Post by lumo on Nov 12, 2014 1:05:48 GMT
I"m sorry for your loss. |
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uksue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,597
Location: London
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Post by uksue on Nov 12, 2014 1:06:50 GMT
Thank you for all the kind words . I almost feel as I if I have no right to be heartbroken because I haven't been the with my mum through her illness. Instead I have looked after other people's family during my job- which my father has thrown in my face on more than one occasion. I am dreading telling my children because they have also been estranged, after having such a wonderful time with my mum when they were young. Also not being able to grieve with my father- as someone else said here, not being able to share this emotion with my family is so damned hard right now.
I am so grateful to have my faith right now. Kind words really help too so thank you again.
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Post by shanni on Nov 12, 2014 1:08:45 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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