Julie W
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,209 
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Post by Julie W on Feb 22, 2021 15:57:17 GMT
Yes, a couple of us are, but I've made peace with it. Stepping away is the only way I could preserve my sanity and peace. This really resonated with me:  |
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Post by scrapmaven on Feb 22, 2021 16:08:20 GMT
 I am the bad relative (how's that?) on 2 sides of the family. On one side I stopped all contact w/those awful people. On the other side, they think I'm a horrible beast. Long story. So, I reside peacefully w/my dear friends, sister and my little family at home. Life is so peaceful and beautiful w/o horrible people in it. |
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Olan
Pearl Clutcher
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Posts: 4,053
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Post by Olan on Feb 22, 2021 16:17:06 GMT
What would be a good alternative? Odd one out? I think I’ll just use odd-ball. The youngest members of my family help me with smashing the patriarchy. I’m a one trick pony 🤷🏾‍♀️ Also serendipitous, the most critical member of my family sent me this message today at 3:24 a.m.! http://instagr.am/p/CLlL12OrIyHkQtdx_1HZUIKegtOaRr6OV7fvSo0 "Odd one out" or "oddball." Swapping in "one" for "man" is an easy way to make the change.
As for smashing the patriarchy, I'm glad you've got family to help with that!  (And fyi, the Insta account is private, so I couldn't view it, but I wanted to let you know that I tried!) It’s a beautiful quote by Ijeoma Umebinyuo that reads “Even if you are not the perfect child, you are still the dream of someone down your lineage. Your grandmother, your grandfather, your great grandmother someone down your lineage dreamt of freedom like yours. Remember that” I’m still floating because if this was a decade ago she would be sending me news stories of beheadings local to me. Admonishing me for stressing her out. |
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Post by sunshine36616 on Feb 22, 2021 16:31:25 GMT
Oh yes. I'm the libtard of the family.
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casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,525
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Post by casii on Feb 22, 2021 16:37:35 GMT
Maybe some would label me that way? And I really don't care. At a very young age, I was pregnant, married, moved very, very far away. Most of them I never see except at the occasional funeral where they let it slip they believe I live in squalor in the projects. Saves me from playing free tour guide when they come to the DC area.
I managed to stay married to that young whippersnapper. We have 3 crazy, but functional adult children. They go through stuff as do I but we've managed to survive 100% of our bad days and we celebrate the hell out of the good days. Baaaaaaa
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Post by myboysnme on Feb 22, 2021 17:22:21 GMT
I think in my immediate family we were all the black sheep from our relatives. We lived away from them and only saw them a few times a year. Then when I tried to be the one in the family to get people together, no one ever did it after I finally stopped.
I found out my grandmother accused me of stealing something and everyone believed her. I found this out as an adult and she said it when I was like 12 apparently. I am still hurt about it. My father, her son, divorced my mom and they took to his second family over us.
My other grandmother didn't like my mother so as a consequence all of us kids compared to the other grandkids.
In my immediate family I feel like I have been the black sheep at various times, especially now. I don't speak to most of my siblings and half siblings, my mom is in a mood so she hasn't been calling me and I told her I'd like to visit next month and she didn't say yes or no. Other times I have been able to just say I'm coming up. She's 6 hours away.
It is hurtful to think about it but in other ways it is freeing because I don't have to deal with their dysfunction in my face all the time.
I would love to have a nice, loving caring family but I don't and that's just the way it is.
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Post by myboysnme on Feb 22, 2021 17:31:58 GMT
I don't like the term "black sheep" because it's yet another term where white = good and normal, and black = bad / odd one out. I remember one time in the military a first sergeant went on a tirade against the term Black Friday. We all sat there incredulous because the black in Black Friday refers to ink, as in accounting. Being in black ink as a profit and not red ink as a deficit. To this day I wish I had spoken out, because the poor guy who said Black Friday could have used the support. There are lots of times the use of the word black is not racist in origin, but it is good to always ask ourselves if we are perpetuating racism. In this case, we are not. Black sheep wool as was said, is less valuable, therefore the black sheep in a family is seen as lesser in some way. |
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Post by Restless Spirit on Feb 22, 2021 19:14:00 GMT
I am. On both my family and my in-law side. It is what it is. Sometimes people just need someone to blame for every little thing they see as being wrong or imperfect in their life. This particularly applies to families. They greatly fear what others think, so having a scapegoat that they can squarely place the blame on results in a massive amount of sympathy on them. “You poor thing”. “I’m so sorry you have to put up with the horrible person”. Yada.
Some people thrive on martyrdom. The label they gave me says far more about them that what it says about me.
I learned to shrug it off. Life goes on.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 11:44:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2021 21:03:47 GMT
It’s a beautiful quote by Ijeoma Umebinyuo that reads “Even if you are not the perfect child, you are still the dream of someone down your lineage. Your grandmother, your grandfather, your great grandmother someone down your lineage dreamt of freedom like yours. Remember that” I’m still floating because if this was a decade ago she would be sending me news stories of beheadings local to me. Admonishing me for stressing her out. That is a lovely quote! And I wanted to like your post because of that quote, but I couldn't because of the second part. It's too heartbreaking, and I'm sorry. |
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Post by lisae on Feb 23, 2021 1:29:01 GMT
I'm an only so ...
As for the extended family, I may be the black sheep because I'm one of the few that gets along with everyone. There were 11 of us cousins and we are spread just about evenly over a 30 year span so we weren't that close growing up. One has passed away. Eight of us live in the same county and only chat occasionally. I know I could call on any of them to help me but I can't tell you that much about most of their day to day lives. Almost none of the sibling pairs get along and some of the cousins have started feuding with each other just like our parents did. I try my best to be Switzerland.
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(And fyi, the Insta account is private, so I couldn't view it, but I wanted to let you know that I tried!)
