Are you the black sheep of the family?

My dad's side calls me Marilyn Munster or The Princess, lol, so I don't think so. (They say it to my face, it's all good)

I guess. My mother told me I was ruining the family name by getting a divorce, the first divorce ever and what would the neighbors think.

No. But I’m very sorry that you’re being left out by your cousins. That’s got to feel lousy.

Yes. I have an enormous extended family on my mom’s side. I never fit in with them growing up, and even less so now that I’ve stopped trying to fit myself in that mold. I haven’t seen any of them since my parents’ funerals, except my own siblings and nieces and nephews.

I was and am the black sheep of my immediate family as well - my parents are and my siblings are logical, linear thinkers, and I’m the flaky, creative one.

I fit much better with DH’s extended family, and communicate with them quite a bit.

No, but can I say that I hate even the concept of black sheep? My brother loves to insist that he's the black sheep of the family, though no one else sees it this way. It's a self-proclaimed title, and even he readily admits that fact. It's like a badge of honor to him, and woe be to anyone who chooses to tell him he isn't.

I don't like the term "black sheep" because it's yet another term where white = good and normal, and black = bad / odd one out.

Probably, in my extended family. I am quiet and shy, and bookish. I finished high school, went to college and graduated, and went to grad school and got my masters in a nerdy field. I married another nerd with a PhD. Most of my extended family finished high school, but that was it, and it was with great effort. A few took a year or 2 in college. Only 2 other cousins finished their BS/BAs. My extended family is really fun, but they value partying and instant gratification over higher learning and reading. I adore them, but I don’t fit. 😞

I am successful and educated which is not much of the case with my extended family but I have always been the weird one.  My extended family has never treated me differently.  But my immediate family does treat me differently.  I don't care, though.   I spent way too many years trying to stuff my square peg self into a round hole.  I embrace myself and if others can't handle that well, too damn bad.  It's funny actually because I've found a lot of people outside my family really embrace my quirks.   Whereas my immediate family is always trying to stuff me into some kind of box.  I'm too emotional or I'm too vibrant, it's always something that my mom and my sister can find to criticize.  

Yep.

And I’m sure it comes to no surprise to the peas either! (But not for the reasons one may think!)

I’m the oldest of my siblings.

I’ve always been “labeled” as “goofy” by them. I now, as an adult know what they meant.

I do love my siblings. My sister siblings are cliquey, they often do stuff together without inviting me; our mom was part of that growing up and I always felt like I didn’t belong from a very early age. My brother siblings I resonate with much more in all ways—education, intellect, charitable, honest, non-game player. Our dad was like this too—generous to a fault, kind, would do anything for anyone at any time.

A few are trump/Fox media republicans but not in the crazy, Q, storm the Capitol, gun toting idiot way, so we obviously cannot agree (they of course think I’m wrong) and I limit my interaction with them, keep my boundaries.

I learned to speak up because of feeling “different”, letting my mom and siblings know that they had been hurtful, exclusive, and how it affected me. There were a few very long stretches where I stayed away from them to heal and protect my heart.

So yeah, black sheep for sure. 🖤🐑

Just a little “factoid”

I looked up where black sheep originated...


“The term originated from the occasional black sheep which are born into a flock of white sheep. Black wool was considered commercially undesirable because it could not be dyed. In 18th and 19th century England, the black color of the sheep was seen as the mark of the devil.”


And Biblically, the term is used in the Bible in the context of-

“The 'black sheep' were actually a mark of integrity rather than disrepute.”

“The 'Chinese whispers' of the early bible versions caused the original meaning to become lost and confused readers into the belief that the dark sheep were removed because they were worthless.”