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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 23, 2021 14:48:03 GMT
I am curious how you cultivate mindfulness and clear your head.
The recent threads about making cleaning more interesting and making exercise more interesting have got me thinking. I have spent years learning how to slow down my brain. I feel we spend so much time taking in so much media that I try to cultivate mindfulness in nearly every task I do. Now I'm not saying that I don't listen to music, podcasts, or audio books, in fact, I do all three. But I try to focus exclusively on one task at a time as much as I possibly can.
I love washing the dishes by hand. When I am washing dishes, I try very hard to focus on the feeling of the warm, soapy water on my hands and the scent of the Mrs. Meyers dishwashing liquid I use. I do my dishes in total silence and I always feel meditative and calm when I finish.
I like to run. At first when I started I listened to music while I did. But more and more I have found that I'm happier not listening. Just focusing on my breathing. Getting a consistent rhythm in my legs. Noticing the houses I pass by and all their details. Admiring people's landscaping and flowers.
And I was surprised reading those threads how many people set a timer and race against the clock. That seems like it would produce anxiety that I don't want in my life.
I have a brain that can fire ridiculously fast. So I'm always looking for ways to just slow it down. Anyone else just like a peaceful break for their brain? I realize I might sound like a weirdo but getting my brain to simply focus on one task feels like relaxation for me even when I'm doing something active. In other words, I don't feel so bad about mopping my floor when I feel like I'm in no hurry and I can just work on focusing my mind on simply mopping the floor.
I can't be the only one who feels like this, can I?
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Post by chitchatgirl on Apr 23, 2021 15:36:09 GMT
I know exactly what you mean about your brain firing fast. Me too. I call it snowballing and can get myself super stressed really fast. So much that DH can tell by looking me when its happening. I find for me when I focus on belly breathing I can calm down. However, I can only do it while I'm trying to go to sleep and I have to work hard to do it. It doesn't produce the same effect when I'm upright.
I don't like the race against the timer thing. For me, I tend to clean. Its so mindless yet occupying to me. I have music on and kinda get into this meditative state. I've been having a rough week mentally and ended up just doing floors. So much better.
I also like to walk at a park. I much prefer being surrounded by greenery vs. walking in our neighborhood. I work on trying to notice the trees and birds. It seems to work well.
I also relish getting to sit in the bathtub and reading a book. Specifically fantasy. I do not want to ready anything that has even the slightest resemblance to real life. I can become immersed in the book because I sort of "see" the book in my mind.
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Post by mollycoddle on Apr 23, 2021 15:45:13 GMT
I am no help, because when I am doing mindless work-like dusting-I either call someone, listen to music, or just think about things. I have the attention span of a gnat, so I seldom focus on mindless tasks. I probably should try it.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 23, 2021 15:48:17 GMT
I know exactly what you mean about your brain firing fast. Me too. I call it snowballing and can get myself super stressed really fast. I like the word snowballing. And I would encourage you to keep trying to focus on your breathing while you are upright, as well. This is a skill I have taught myself with years of practice. |
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Montannie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,486 
Location: Big Sky Country
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Post by Montannie on Apr 23, 2021 15:48:45 GMT
I do a breathing exercise my massage therapist taught me. It always helps to slow me down.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 23, 2021 15:52:26 GMT
I have the attention span of a gnat, so I seldom focus on mindless tasks. I probably should try it. Do you watch TV and movies? If you do, I would say you probably have a lot better attention span than you think. I just think it's very healing to try and focus the mind on one thing for a significant period of time, even if it is something we don't necessarily want to do. I have found that I want to gravitate to distraction in many things. But distraction isn't healing. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 23, 2021 15:55:04 GMT
I do a breathing exercise my massage therapist taught me. It always helps to slow me down. How often do you do it? Once a day? When you get stressed? Throughout your day? I meditate and pray for about a half hour each morning. And then I do reiki before bed. But I need periodic tasks throughout my day to rest my mind and release my stress. |
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Post by mollycoddle on Apr 23, 2021 15:56:14 GMT
I have the attention span of a gnat, so I seldom focus on mindless tasks. I probably should try it. Do you watch TV and movies? If you do, I would say you probably have a lot better attention span than you think. I just think it's very healing to try and focus the mind on one thing for a significant period of time, even if it is something we don't necessarily want to do. I have found that I want to gravitate to distraction in many things. But distraction isn't healing. Yes, with a lot of pauses. I am serious when I say that I should try being more mindful. I have always been absent-minded, and menopause seemed to make it worse. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 23, 2021 16:01:40 GMT
Do you watch TV and movies? If you do, I would say you probably have a lot better attention span than you think. I just think it's very healing to try and focus the mind on one thing for a significant period of time, even if it is something we don't necessarily want to do. I have found that I want to gravitate to distraction in many things. But distraction isn't healing. Yes, with a lot of pauses. I am serious when I say that I should try being more mindful. I have always been absent-minded, and menopause seemed to make it worse. It's quite funny to me because I went through a period of time when my concentration was completely off due to my bipolar being completely out of whack. And I could no longer concentrate on TV and movies. It was like my brain had no more room in there for extra. Now I know I don't have a concentration issue unless my bipolar is completely acting up. It's amazing what I can focus on when I actively try. But it took practice. It still takes practice. I can see how hormone changes during menopause would cause this too. And I think part of it is how our society works nowadays too. There is so much input going on. Sometimes it is overwhelming. I need periodic pause just to reset my bearings. |
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Post by bc2ca on Apr 23, 2021 18:02:54 GMT
Anyone else just like a peaceful break for their brain? I realize I might sound like a weirdo but getting my brain to simply focus on one task feels like relaxation for me even when I'm doing something active. I don't listen to anything while exercising. Way back when I was in college, I swam an hour a day and developed the habit of letting my mind go where it wanted to while counting laps. I could write and rewrite whole essays in my head, reflect on a lecture, solve a problem in my little world or just count laps. Most of my exercise these days is walking the neighborhood and it's the same thing. I don't listen to anything and just let my mind wander where it wants to go. I find it very calming and meditative. |
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,117
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Apr 23, 2021 18:08:52 GMT
I wouldn’t say I purposely try to slow down or create mindfulness but I find that I often lean that way just as a preference. For instance, when I am home whether working in my home office, scrapping, or cleaning or looking a my phone or whatever I always have silence. It is rare that I listen to music. Or I might for two songs and then turn it off because I’d rather have silence. I go for long power walks without music. I find doing yoga is calming and peaceful and do that daily. I’m not anti music though- I always have it in the car.  |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 23, 2021 22:42:43 GMT
Knowing you both from the dinner thread I'm not surprised by bc2ca or paget I knew that bc2ca was a regular beach walker and paget I know how into yoga you are. Both of you seem to be so even keeled. At least that's the way you both come across to me. |
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Post by lesserknownpea on Apr 24, 2021 8:51:22 GMT
I have worked hard on mindfulness and it’s really helping reduce anxiety and connect with joy.
If I find my mind either regretting the past, or obsessing about the future, I bring it back to now. Some hinge that help me:
1) I ask myself if I can enjoy the next minute. Like a challenge. It was amazing to me at first how a worry, or anger, or some other negative emotion would ruin a perfectly good “ now”. Sometimes I say out loud things like: “ it’s a lovely sunny day. I’m in a reliable car with plenty of gas in the tank. Look at those pretty blossoms on that tree. “. Using breathing techniques can help you enjoy that minute, too.
2) I use all my senses to enhance mindfulness. Focusing on what I see, hear, ect really gets me out of my head and back in my body.
3) I make a decision to do whatever I am doing that moment with my full attention, slowly. Lovingly. I spent so much of my earlier life rushing through chores or jobs I “ hated”, with my mind on whatever I had to do next, or what happened yesterday, or what I was worried would happen. And I would make ridiculous schedules that left me feeling like a failure because I couldn’t get it all done “ on time”. Now I leave myself enough time to do the job while being fully present. I say no to things that are not one of my priorities to find the time.
4)I use prompts and notifications on my watch as reminders to check in on my mindfulness. The ones that tell me to breathe, that someone played against me in Words With Freinds, or that talk about my activity level for the day. If my watch vibrates and sends anything, I use it as a reminder to be mindful.
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Deleted
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Nov 24, 2024 9:54:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2021 9:02:28 GMT
I am a hardcore Type A personality. I get out of sorts when things are disorganized. I have several oil burners placed throughout our home. Depending on where I will be working or spending time, I will light my burners ahead of time. The scents really seem to relax me.
I keep constant lists (projects to do, groceries, activities) in a special spiral notebook. I have a certain day planner that I like to use that I can list out my appointments but also the tasks that I want to get done that day. I find that keeping this all written out relieves so much anxiety for me because I don't have to keep it flying around in my head.
Even with Ramadan, I make a list of that evenings dishes I need to get on the table. Ramadan has ridiculous amounts of plates of food. Again, it helps to manage the stress of trying to remember it all.
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Post by peasapie on Apr 24, 2021 10:33:07 GMT
First and most important for me was learning to meditate. It was really hard at first - my mind wanted to jump all over and think of all sorts of things. But with practice, I trained my brain to slow down and empty out, observe my thoughts rather than feeling every single one of them. It was life changing for me, but definitely requires daily practice.
As an exercise in mindfulness I regularly take walks, with the goal of just over focusing on things I pass, like sidewalk cracks, a window, etc., not to just see them but to really examine and “understand” them.
There is an app called calm with all sorts of calming meditations that I love. I can follow along with visualizations, listen to stories before bed, or just hear calming music.
The other mindfulness activity for me is art - drawing, painting or writing. I express so much through journaling, and have learned to just write without criticizing myself for my every thought.
Great question — I’m enjoying reading the responses.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 24, 2021 10:47:22 GMT
I find myself more scattered as I age. I try not to multi-task like I used to.
I also prefer quiet to any background noise, except for listening to audiobooks while I scrapbook.
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keithurbanlovinpea
Pearl Clutcher
Flowing with the go...
Posts: 4,305
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Apr 24, 2021 11:10:58 GMT
I am curious how you cultivate mindfulness and clear your head. The recent threads about making cleaning more interesting and making exercise more interesting have got me thinking. I have spent years learning how to slow down my brain. I feel we spend so much time taking in so much media that I try to cultivate mindfulness in nearly every task I do. Now I'm not saying that I don't listen to music, podcasts, or audio books, in fact, I do all three. But I try to focus exclusively on one task at a time as much as I possibly can. I love washing the dishes by hand. When I am washing dishes, I try very hard to focus on the feeling of the warm, soapy water on my hands and the scent of the Mrs. Meyers dishwashing liquid I use. I do my dishes in total silence and I always feel meditative and calm when I finish. I like to run. At first when I started I listened to music while I did. But more and more I have found that I'm happier not listening. Just focusing on my breathing. Getting a consistent rhythm in my legs. Noticing the houses I pass by and all their details. Admiring people's landscaping and flowers. And I was surprised reading those threads how many people set a timer and race against the clock. That seems like it would produce anxiety that I don't want in my life. I have a brain that can fire ridiculously fast. So I'm always looking for ways to just slow it down. Anyone else just like a peaceful break for their brain? I realize I might sound like a weirdo but getting my brain to simply focus on one task feels like relaxation for me even when I'm doing something active. In other words, I don't feel so bad about mopping my floor when I feel like I'm in no hurry and I can just work on focusing my mind on simply mopping the floor. I can't be the only one who feels like this, can I? You always post the most interesting questions/mind work topics. One thing I often do is yoga nidra, especially at the end of the day when I have a hard time shutting off. I use a sleep headphone/headband from Amazon (bluetooth connected) and I have an app that guides me. More often than not I fall asleep during the meditation, but what I am awake for is very relaxing but also brings awareness and acceptance to my body. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 24, 2021 11:22:07 GMT
I am curious how you cultivate mindfulness and clear your head. The recent threads about making cleaning more interesting and making exercise more interesting have got me thinking. I have spent years learning how to slow down my brain. I feel we spend so much time taking in so much media that I try to cultivate mindfulness in nearly every task I do. Now I'm not saying that I don't listen to music, podcasts, or audio books, in fact, I do all three. But I try to focus exclusively on one task at a time as much as I possibly can. I love washing the dishes by hand. When I am washing dishes, I try very hard to focus on the feeling of the warm, soapy water on my hands and the scent of the Mrs. Meyers dishwashing liquid I use. I do my dishes in total silence and I always feel meditative and calm when I finish. I like to run. At first when I started I listened to music while I did. But more and more I have found that I'm happier not listening. Just focusing on my breathing. Getting a consistent rhythm in my legs. Noticing the houses I pass by and all their details. Admiring people's landscaping and flowers. And I was surprised reading those threads how many people set a timer and race against the clock. That seems like it would produce anxiety that I don't want in my life. I have a brain that can fire ridiculously fast. So I'm always looking for ways to just slow it down. Anyone else just like a peaceful break for their brain? I realize I might sound like a weirdo but getting my brain to simply focus on one task feels like relaxation for me even when I'm doing something active. In other words, I don't feel so bad about mopping my floor when I feel like I'm in no hurry and I can just work on focusing my mind on simply mopping the floor. I can't be the only one who feels like this, can I? You always post the most interesting questions/mind work topics. One thing I often do is yoga nidra, especially at the end of the day when I have a hard time shutting off. I use a sleep headphone/headband from Amazon (bluetooth connected) and I have an app that guides me. More often than not I fall asleep during the meditation, but what I am awake for is very relaxing but also brings awareness and acceptance to my body. It requires a lot of mind work to have any sort of control over my brain. It's purely about mental survival for me. I have a bluetooth eye mask too. Pea recommended. And I get in bed with my husband at 8 pm each night and I listen to a podcast. And then I do reiki with reiki music. I nearly always fall asleep during it. That eye mask has been life changing. I'm glad you found it too. |
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keithurbanlovinpea
Pearl Clutcher
Flowing with the go...
Posts: 4,305
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Apr 24, 2021 11:30:23 GMT
You always post the most interesting questions/mind work topics. One thing I often do is yoga nidra, especially at the end of the day when I have a hard time shutting off. I use a sleep headphone/headband from Amazon (bluetooth connected) and I have an app that guides me. More often than not I fall asleep during the meditation, but what I am awake for is very relaxing but also brings awareness and acceptance to my body. It requires a lot of mind work to have any sort of control over my brain. It's purely about mental survival for me. I have a bluetooth eye mask too. Pea recommended. And I get in bed with my husband at 8 pm each night and I listen to a podcast. And then I do reiki with reiki music. I nearly always fall asleep during it. That eye mask has been life changing. I'm glad you found it too. If I could ask a question (please tell me if I am being too nosy!)... as you know my oldest DD was diagnosed with BPD II last fall, right before she turned 22. She is managing well (thank goodness for a good psych and meds) but I know she would benefit from being more mindful and managing her stress better. Stress and lack of sleep tend to be triggers for her hypomania and depression. The ups and downs are not as severe but I think she could do more to ensure she doesn't induce them. I, of course, know that I can't make her do anything but do you think that being more mindful and managing the mind are things that come with experience and age? Or are there resources that can help her to understand how to work the mindfulness in order to better manage the BPD? |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 24, 2021 11:44:19 GMT
keithurbanlovinpea said: do you think that being more mindful and managing the mind are things that come with experience and age? Yes and no. Yes I've gotten better with it with experience and age. But my bipolar has also gotten worse so it requires more effort than it did when I was younger. And two when I was first diagnosed I was hell bent on managing without medication. And I saw a therapist who basically threw at me every kind of therapy she could think of. We went from talk therapy so I could work out all my childhood issues to CBT to self hypnosis. Just every single thing she could think of. I spent more than 2 years seeing her weekly. I did agree to meds during that time. But the things she taught me were invaluable. She left to go into a corporate practice. I was very sad. But she told me I had all the tools I needed. I have my current therapist that I see now as needed only. And she did a CBT refresher with me two summers ago. She said I was the best managed bipolar client she had seen in easily ten years. I hold that as the highest compliment I have ever received. I was stunned to hear her say that. So I'm not sure even that I am the norm. I think my kids need a lot of work. And I think that it is going to take some maturity on their parts before they get to the same point I am at. This isn't something you learn overnight. I've been managing this for nearly 19 years now. And I actively try. I keep an open mind about trying new things. I say yes to damn near anything. But I think you have a really good head on your shoulders. I think you can be a great influence on her. From what I read you manage your mind really well. I think you are a great role model. Keep at it. Be patient. Show her the way.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 24, 2021 11:52:36 GMT
keithurbanlovinpea my kids still haven't even come to terms with their diagnoses. So that takes time too. It took me a while too.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 24, 2021 11:57:39 GMT
I find myself more scattered as I age. I try not to multi-task like I used to. I also prefer quiet to any background noise, except for listening to audiobooks while I scrapbook. I always thrived on noise. At one point in my life I had tv or music going all the time. As I age I'm becoming a lot more comfortable with silence. And I'm getting better at tuning out the noise I do have around me. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 24, 2021 12:00:53 GMT
keithurbanlovinpea one more thing. The sleep issue. You can't overcome bad or lack of sleep. She needs to sleep consistently and on a consistent basis. Same time to bed. Same time to rise. Just as much as you can't undersleep you can't oversleep either. The is the issue I would stress the most. And I do with my kids too.
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Post by refugeepea on Apr 24, 2021 16:01:17 GMT
That's too hard for me to do during the day. I do prefer silence, but a dozen thoughts keep interrupting me when I'm only doing one task at a time.
What helps me is having paper and a pen nearby when those thoughts interrupt me. It usually has to do with getting things done. I put an item on the grocery list or write call pharmacy and the current task is done sooner. That helps free my mind up a little.
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Post by katlady on Apr 24, 2021 16:11:08 GMT
I enjoy silence. When I work out at home, I don’t play any music. If I walk the dog by myself, no music. I love when I am doing something and lose track of time. Then I really know I got into the task at hand. As I get older, I try not to multi-task as much. Just one thing at a time. It makes my life less stressful. And I do keep lists and write things down to get those thoughts out of my head.
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Post by catmom on Apr 24, 2021 16:35:48 GMT
Mindfulness is a real challenge for me. The last couple of years I've really worked on improving it, and things like meditation, breathing exercises and yoga have helped.
However... the way my brain works (plus trauma) means I get really in my head and have a hard time getting into my body. To avoid mental spirals I started using podcasts, audiobooks and music a few years ago. They do help but the downside is that I've realized I listen to podcasts to get to sleep (when my anxiety is highest), when I clean the house, even when I eat. In some ways this has helped me cope during the pandemic, but the result has been a reduction in mindfulness and actually experiencing... much of anything.
So now I'm slowly weaning myself off media as a numbing device and allowing myself to be more mindful. It's amazing how hard it is to just sit and eat, tasting the food and not listening, reading or watching anything. I'm about to clean the kitchen and you've inspired me to try it without any podcasts. We'll see how long I last!
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Post by hookturnian on Apr 24, 2021 22:50:45 GMT
I try to focus only on the task or activity I'm doing. If I'm out for a walk, I concentrate on the walk. If I'm eating I focus on the food; I sit at the dining table, not in front of the tv. If my thoughts drift to something else, I consciously refocus on the task. If the random thought is something like, "I must remember to buy x the next time I'm at the shops", I write it down so I can get the thought out of my head.
I find counted cross stitch and crocheting a pattern that requires concentration helps me when I have racing thoughts, or things going around and around in my head. Not knitting though - too hard to frog and I don't have the patience to put in life lines 😂
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 24, 2021 22:59:34 GMT
hookturnian I feel the exact same way about crocheting. I can get totally lost in a crochet project. It feels so good to just do stitch by stitch.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 24, 2021 23:01:24 GMT
Mindfulness is a real challenge for me. The last couple of years I've really worked on improving it, and things like meditation, breathing exercises and yoga have helped. However... the way my brain works (plus trauma) means I get really in my head and have a hard time getting into my body. To avoid mental spirals I started using podcasts, audiobooks and music a few years ago. They do help but the downside is that I've realized I listen to podcasts to get to sleep (when my anxiety is highest), when I clean the house, even when I eat. In some ways this has helped me cope during the pandemic, but the result has been a reduction in mindfulness and actually experiencing... much of anything. So now I'm slowly weaning myself off media as a numbing device and allowing myself to be more mindful. It's amazing how hard it is to just sit and eat, tasting the food and not listening, reading or watching anything. I'm about to clean the kitchen and you've inspired me to try it without any podcasts. We'll see how long I last! Catmom it is a challenge. It does take practice. I got into the habit of distraction too. And I am pulling myself out of it. Just being in the moment when I can. Good luck! |
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Post by pixiechick on Apr 25, 2021 9:19:41 GMT
A long time ago I realized how much I make decisions and come up with good ideas in the shower. Shower time, a time when there's no music, no podcasts, no TV, no screen time. In other words, no mental input. So I've started doing the same thing while driving. Turning off the music and just being with my thoughts.
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