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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Aug 25, 2021 21:19:37 GMT
I'm sure you will all understand this.....
Last week I lost a wonderful friend.
We met on the old aol message boards (non-scrapbooking).
After those boards closed, we switched to email and texts.
When we both got iphones, we facetimed occasionally, inaddition to text and email.
It started slowly, grew into a wonderful friendship.
We both understood each others issues, wounds and darker place in the soul (mine was caused from marriage abuse), idiosyncrasies, etc....
I met him once in person, when I was vacation in the central coast California area a few years ago. He took my hand and said we are kindred souls. Some people just can't understand deep wounds, you do.
He tested positive and rapidly went downhill, he passed last week.
I had texted him to check to him, and one of his Family members had his phone and let me know.
As with this message board, and with him, no one knew we were friends.
Years ago, I mentioned in casual conversation..... "the ladies on the scrapbook message board" or "my online friend from the old aol days" rude comments ensued about "stranger danger" type stuff.
Back in the beginning days, I did my reserch and he also told me feel free to look up the number yourself for his workplace and call and ask for one of my supervisors for a character reference.
19 years we were friends. Similar to this message board, I have "known" some of you for 20+ years, between the two message boards.
Some of you on here who have met in person, but some people will judge you because of "stranger danger".
Not every person online is evil....many are very nice upstanding citizens.
I thank you all for the years of camaraderie, and look forward to many more.
My friend who passed, I will always treasure your friendship.
Covid sucks!
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 25, 2021 21:40:16 GMT
y DH lost three friends from different parts of the country, before vaccines were available. It's just awful! I have friends that were hospitalized last year, but thankfully recovered. Although, they still suffer from long-covid, I'm grateful they are still with us. I lost my cousin early days of the pandemic. And I watch two good friends lose their mothers. Last year a friend (older guy) committed suicide during lockdown Last week I lost a wonderful friend. {{{Hugs}}} all around to us all. |
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Post by PeachStatePea on Aug 25, 2021 22:46:50 GMT
I lost a friend on Sunday. Her funeral is Saturday. She was fully vaccinated but had Multiple Sclerosis. 56 years old. She and her mom (also vaxxed) caught it somewhere together. Her mom was sick but recovered, my friend was in ICU 3 weeks before she passed. She was a single mom of 5, her youngest is 20. So sad.
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,645 
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Post by janeliz on Aug 25, 2021 22:56:10 GMT
I lost my middle daughter (she was 23) in February 2020 right before the pandemic started. Grieving and processing through the pandemic has made an already difficult time feel surreal. Gentle hugs to everyone missing someone from any kind of loss. I’m so sorry. ((Hugs)) |
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,802
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Post by purplebee on Aug 25, 2021 23:01:24 GMT
So sorry for all the losses. My hairdresser of 30+ years lost her Dh last Sunday. He was recovering from a very difficult bout of cancer, but was making great progress. Caught COVID from an unvaxxed relative, and though both he and my friend were vaxxed, he just couldn’t fight it off. It is never easy to lose someone dear, this pandemic seems to make it even harder. Hugs…
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Aug 25, 2021 23:10:53 GMT
leftturnonly, my deepest condolences to you and your loved ones. Hugs and wishes for comfort to you all. Covid has taken so much from so many.
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 25, 2021 23:31:57 GMT
I lost a friend on Sunday.  My hairdresser of 30+ years lost her Dh last Sunday. Husband of a friend should be remembered here. I was just explaining to my daughter who D was (the one who's passing away I learned about late last night) and how he was connected to people she's known throughout her life, including her dad. It's these connections I think that can hit us so hard, because you realize how hard this loss is going be on others that you care about. Covid has taken so much from so many. Yes, it surely has. |
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Post by drummergirl65 on Aug 25, 2021 23:35:34 GMT
So sorry for everyone's losses. I'm weeping just reading this.
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Post by nine on Aug 26, 2021 0:00:19 GMT
I’m tired of beating my head against a brick wall. My position from now on is…do what you want. When enough of the anti-health people are dead then we can get on with life. And yes, that includes children too. My kids are grown but if I had small ones they’d be safe at home. But I guess there are a lot of people whose stupidity outstrips their desire to care for their children. It’s sad but there’s nothing I can do about it. I am willing to wait at home or with a mask until we get the all-clear.
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Post by voltagain on Aug 26, 2021 0:05:18 GMT
I know. I know. I know. I've heard all about it from every side imaginable. Nobody needs to hear it again here, so I'm asking everyone just to be respectful and kept their opinions to themselves for this one, single thread. I'm just tired of losing people, really good people by any standards, to this disease. I've lost people from different political parties and persuasions and I don't want to dishonor any of their memories with opinions, ya get what I'm sayin'? Each loss gets a little harder to process. I know I can't be alone with trying to grieve without setting off this political insanity that I abhor. So, can we just take a moment to grieve together here for those we've lost too soon? Please? Consider me begging y'all here. This post is dedicated specifically to R, A, C & D. May you all rest in peace. The world was a better place with each of you still in it.  I am sorry for your loss. My dad passed from Covid in April 2020. He was the first in his county/city to test positive and the second to die. My uncle struggled with breathing issues from October 2020 until he committed suicide in June. I am not aware of him having covid or being tested for it. He would go to the er and they would tell him his breathing was fine. He reached a point he simply couldn't take it any more. I've got a friend who has started hospice last week. She has had a long battle with cancer. The not being able to grieve with a community has been the hardest for me. I live alone and don't get out because even though I am vaccinated I still feel very vulnerable. I take some immune suppressing drugs that are known to keep all vaccines from being as effective as they are for other people. Delta scares me. With most of the world unable to be vaccinated I don't know if I will ever again feel safe around people. |
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 26, 2021 0:17:37 GMT
My dad passed from Covid in April 2020... My uncle struggled with breathing issues from October 2020 until he committed suicide in June... I've got a friend who has started hospice last week... The not being able to grieve with a community has been the hardest for me. I live alone and don't get out because even though I am vaccinated I still feel very vulnerable. I take some immune suppressing drugs that are known to keep all vaccines from being as effective as they are for other people. Delta scares me. With most of the world unable to be vaccinated I don't know if I will ever again feel safe around people. {{{Hugs}}} I'm really sorry you are in such a vulnerable position. I surely don't want that for you. I don't want that for any of us. |
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Aug 26, 2021 0:19:18 GMT
I lost my middle daughter (she was 23) in February 2020 right before the pandemic started. Grieving and processing through the pandemic has made an already difficult time feel surreal. Gentle hugs to everyone missing someone from any kind of loss. Sending love to you. I cannot imagine your grief. To be a bereaved parent in the time of Covid, though, must add another layer of suffering to your already devastated hearts. My heart goes out to you and your family. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 17:47:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2021 0:22:52 GMT
I'm sorry for all the loss. Holding peas in my thoughts. So much tragedy.
While we grieve for the losses, hoping we can also make changes to lessen the number grieving going forward.
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 26, 2021 0:41:55 GMT
We lost my grandma Jan 2020 and held her funeral March 13th (trying to get family together). The world shut down the next day (or at least that was when this area shut down). I took a personal day to go to the funeral and did not go back (teacher).
I am glad she passed when she did with family surrounding her.
There are days I feel I am losing the person my husband is when he comes home from a draining day at work. Other days he is fine.
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Post by scrappintoee on Aug 26, 2021 1:09:53 GMT
Wow, so many heartbreaking losses! I am SO very sorry to all of you who are grieving !!!!   |
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 26, 2021 1:15:18 GMT
We lost my grandma Jan 2020 and held her funeral March 13th (trying to get family together). The world shut down the next day (or at least that was when this area shut down). I took a personal day to go to the funeral and did not go back (teacher). I am glad she passed when she did with family surrounding her. There are days I feel I am losing the person my husband is when he comes home from a draining day at work. Other days he is fine. Being the one who cares for the one who cares for everyone else... It's got to be overwhelming. |
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,807
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Post by ellen on Aug 26, 2021 1:15:37 GMT
I lost my middle daughter (she was 23) in February 2020 right before the pandemic started. Grieving and processing through the pandemic has made an already difficult time feel surreal. Gentle hugs to everyone missing someone from any kind of loss. My neighbors lost their 25 year old son to brain cancer in February of 2020. I often think of how hard it must be to grieve a huge loss and also deal with all of the stress that has gone along with the pandemic. I'm sorry you have had to do that too. |
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luckyjune
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,687
Location: In the rainy, rainy WA
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Post by luckyjune on Aug 26, 2021 3:07:55 GMT
I lost my middle daughter (she was 23) in February 2020 right before the pandemic started. Grieving and processing through the pandemic has made an already difficult time feel surreal. Gentle hugs to everyone missing someone from any kind of loss. I am so sorry for this unfathomable loss. |
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,300
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Post by Mystie on Aug 26, 2021 18:09:58 GMT
I'm so sorry for all of us who are experiencing grief--sometimes multiple griefs, sometimes complex grief.
My dad passed away in December from cancer. We were privileged to be able to have a family-only funeral for him then. (With my mom, brother, sister-in-law, sister, brother-in-law, one nephew and three nieces, myself and my husband.) We couldn't have a "real" funeral for him, but planned a memorial service for Labor Day weekend this year. Surely all would be well then, right?
And now here we are again...the memorial is a week and a half away. I'm getting messages from extended family who are deciding not to come because of covid. (Completely understandable, but still disappointing.) I'm extraordinarily stressed about the service and about being around so many people all weekend, even though masks will be supplied and heavily encouraged, as will distancing. I have at least three co-morbidities and I survived cancer last year. I'll be damned if I'm letting covid take me down at this point.
But this is what I mean about complex grief. I've been grieving my dad since December (and before then, honestly, he had a long illness and a long decline.) Now, the grief process is getting stirred up all over again. And both in December and now, I'm also grappling with the stress of traveling and trying to keep my distance from my loved ones as we mourn during a pandemic.
My mom wanted me to speak at the service, and I eventually decided I couldn't. All I can come up with is, "Fuck all of this." Not entirely suitable, lol.
My thoughts are with all of you who are trying to handle your own unique losses and challenges. I pray we'll all stay safe, and that no more of our loved ones will be lost to covid. I feel fortunate not to have lost anyone to that, yet.
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 26, 2021 18:47:23 GMT
I'm extraordinarily stressed about the service It's extremely hard to speak at a funeral. Sometimes you can. Sometimes you can't. I mumbled a bunch of gibberish for my BIL and my mother. But for my husband, I was inspired the night before and came up with a nice, funny list of "Did you know...?" about him. I told no one I might speak. The minister was moving the service along when I surprised everyone and got up and walked to the podium. It went over so well, my extremely introverted daughter got up and spoke. Then others got up and spoke. We laughed. We cried. It was perfect. Whatever you say, if you say anything at all, it will be fine no matter how incoherent or emotional. And if you say nothing, that too will be fine. I know your mom asked you to say something. My sister asked each of us to for my mom. I only had some ideas of what I wanted to say, and frankly, every one of them were said before I got to the podium. The only thing I could think of then, was to tell everyone to come to me if anyone had genealogy questions. Yep. Pretty bad. And not a person there made fun of me or disowned me afterwards. No one cared, because they all understood. Sometimes the words, they do not come in the moment. (Plus, it's not like I did nothing. I contacted all the relatives and kept them updated, I cleaned the house where everyone came back to, I wrote the obit, I picked the music, etc.) So, I suggest a couple of things that may or may not help you: 1) Find a prayer, or quote, or poem, or song, or hymn that speaks to you for that moment. Use it either as a springboard or for your entire role. If it's music, maybe play a recording or have someone sing or play it live. 2) Have a backup plan. If at that moment you can't for whatever reason carry through, have someone else lined up who will. You are never fully prepared for the emotions that hit while you are burying a parent. Forgive yourself in advance for any "mistakes" you might make, and just do your best. ETA - Prepare now to just go with the flow. Your only job is to try as best as you can to keep your own balance. Expect that every plan will be tossed aside and don't try for any kind of perfection. |
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Post by MichyM on Aug 26, 2021 19:20:50 GMT
I lost my middle daughter (she was 23) in February 2020 right before the pandemic started. Grieving and processing through the pandemic has made an already difficult time feel surreal. Gentle hugs to everyone missing someone from any kind of loss. I am so very sorry, I had no idea. These last 18 months must have been very trying. Sending so much love, and soft, warm hugs. |
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,300
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Post by Mystie on Aug 26, 2021 23:45:38 GMT
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Post by littlemama on Aug 26, 2021 23:47:59 GMT
Im so sorry. I know people who have lost people, but we dont know anyone directly who has died of covid. I cant imagine losing so many people
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Post by melanell on Aug 27, 2021 2:25:05 GMT
{{{Hugs!}}} I hear you. I thought for sure we were going to move past this and not lose anyone else and then it started getting worse again and now we're hearing of more and more people who have it---and they run the gamut---from a children too young to be vaccinated to adults who didn't get vaccinated to an adult with a breakthrough case. And now I just heard from a relative that one person in the family is hospitalized right now. I just want this to end so we all stop losing people. |
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Post by ntsf on Aug 27, 2021 3:23:38 GMT
we have lost about the same number of people to covid..maybe more..than we did in the civil war. though the population was much smaller, still, that loss to our country changed many things, including how we mourned.
I sometimes wonder what will be the effect of all our losses in 10-30-50 yrs. my son knew the second person to die from covid who died in our city. not a close friend, but still.
hugs and prayers to all those who lost people. my son's wife's dad is suffering with covid.. post vaccination. she is very worried cause he is 85.
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 27, 2021 5:11:47 GMT
I just heard from a relative that one person in the family is hospitalized right now. my son knew the second person to die from covid who died in our city. not a close friend, but still. hugs and prayers to all those who lost people. my son's wife's dad is suffering with covid.. post vaccination. she is very worried cause he is 85. {{{Hugs}}} - Because we all need them. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 17:47:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2021 6:48:09 GMT
Just adding my hugs to the other hugs too.
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Post by pixiechick on Aug 27, 2021 8:01:47 GMT
I'm so, so sorry, leftturnonly. I'm sorry for all of the losses everyone has had. All the collective grief is unbearable and to send hugs seems not enough, though it's all I can do. My deepest, most heartfelt hugs to all of you. I'm so sorry. We lost a couple of family members at the end of last year. Just weeks later I lost my dad. Then at the beginning of this year I lost my mom. It's true, the world was a better place with them in it. All such good people.  My world certainly is less bright without you in it. None from covid. I don't know anyone who has died from covid, but there's no guarantee... |
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maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,803
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
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Post by maryannscraps on Aug 27, 2021 10:47:41 GMT
My DH's cousin died a few weeks ago from covid. She was an incredibly sweet and caring woman who was much loved. I'm not only sad, but I'm mad that she was led astray by various people who convinced her not to get vaccinated when she was very at risk.
Early on, before vaccinations, I lost a dozen acquaintances and my two best friends' parents. Fear, grief with no outlet in a funeral, lack of social connection... it was horrible.
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 27, 2021 12:31:58 GMT
We lost a couple of family members at the end of last year. Just weeks later I lost my dad. Then at the beginning of this year I lost my mom. It's true, the world was a better place with them in it. All such good people.  {{{Big, gentle hugs}}} My DH's cousin died a few weeks ago from covid. She was an incredibly sweet and caring woman who was much loved. I'm not only sad, but I'm mad that she was led astray by various people who convinced her not to get vaccinated when she was very at risk. Early on, before vaccinations, I lost a dozen acquaintances and my two best friends' parents. Fear, grief with no outlet in a funeral, lack of social connection... it was horrible. {{{Hugs}}} That's a lot of people, and it's not something you just get over. A got this monster right before her first shot was scheduled. Even though she had some serious medical issues, a whole lot of healthy, younger people were able to get vaccinated before her. I went to her open-casket funeral, and she was blue. She was laid out in the vestibule of the church where her young teenagers attend school (Catholic school) and I got there just as their class was filing in to the church. That's not an image I'm going to forget any time soon. I want to thank everyone for keeping this as non-political as is possible today. As I said in my OP, the four people I referred to held very different political beliefs. What they had in common was that they were all kind people who would give you the shirt off their backs, feed you, and pray for you if you were in need. And because it has been mentioned already on the thread, and because it's information we all want to know: 2 died before getting vaccinated was possible for them and the other 2 died very recently. I don't know if they were vaccinated or not. They were all very well educated. A was even a medical doctor (no longer practicing). One was in Pennsylvania, one was in Delaware, one was in North Carolina, and one was in Texas. Whatever their vaccination status was, whatever their political affiliations were, the absolutely vile things that are said about "those people" is sure to cover each one of them, depending on who is speaking. We're all hurting here. This pandemic has been hard on all of us. |
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{{{Big, gentle hugs}}}