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Post by mom on Sept 29, 2021 0:19:09 GMT
And the night just ended with a drunken scene on my front lawn between her and her boyfriend. Sigh. I thought this day was going to end alright. This is where you could set a boundary. Want to have a drunked scene with your boyfriend? Fine. But not at my home. Take it somewhere else. They don't get the power to control you and how your day ends. |
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,878
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Sept 29, 2021 0:23:36 GMT
And the night just ended with a drunken scene on my front lawn between her and her boyfriend. Sigh. I thought this day was going to end alright. ugh. Lock the door and walk away? Let them sort it out? It's not very late there. Kinda early to have a drunken scene! (I'm so sorry your good day has been brought down). BUT as mom said, boundaries. It's not her right to ruin your day. Not sure how to put that into practice tho. |
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,276 
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Sept 29, 2021 0:24:49 GMT
This whole day went on an upward trajectory. My oldest actually told her psychiatrist what was going on and he finally prescribed an antipsychotic for her. She told me she's going to try not to drink and take the medicine and hopefully it will help. And my youngest caught me crying this afternoon and she just gave me the biggest hug and told me not to worry about her. I'm glad things got a little better. I’ve found it really can help to just verbalize what I’m feeling - part of that acknowledging and feeling what I feel, no matter what it is. Everyone here wants to help and the best way to help is to listen and be there, which you are seeing in the replies. We may not be able to fix the problems, but just knowing that others hear what you are saying, that they care, makes a difference. I hope your daughter can deal with the drinking. Too often that’s a way to self-medicate, and it gets in the way of treating the actual problem. Maybe with the meds she needs, she won’t need to turn to alcohol. ETA UGH! Sorry to read the latest! |
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bklyngal62
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,227
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Post by bklyngal62 on Sept 29, 2021 0:36:52 GMT
jeremysgirl said: I'm tired of being jealous of people whose young adult kids are going off to college and are solid while mine are struggling so badly. I'm tired of everyone saying self-care, self-care, self-care like a day spent scrapbooking or an evening crocheting is going to make this all feel better and it doesn't. You are not alone on this. I honestly feel this way as well with my sons and just doesn't seem fair  Keeping you and your family in my prayers. {{{HUGS}}}
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AmandaA
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,502
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Post by AmandaA on Sept 29, 2021 1:01:39 GMT
I am late to the party and see others have already said what I am thinking far more eloquently so just a big “ditto” 😉. I can’t help but think that there are few peas that so many people will universally rally around to lift up and appreciate like jeremysgirl. I think we are all better for the interactions we have here with you and regardless of what is happening in IRL I hope you know that. I am a big believer in karma and I think this thread is proof of all of the good you put out into the world that we want to try and return to you. Take care (virtual) friend! |
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Post by scrappinmom3 on Sept 29, 2021 1:47:05 GMT
Hugs and hope for better days.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 4:06:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2021 3:20:31 GMT
I’m sorry that you’re hurting. Wishing you better days ahead.
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,840
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Sept 29, 2021 3:27:45 GMT
Ah, jeremysgirl I'm tired for you. My heart is with you. |
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Post by flanz on Sept 29, 2021 3:48:30 GMT
You peas really show up when someone needs you.  I'm blown away by all the comments here. I had such a busy day I was unable to respond to everyone but I appreciated your kindness immensely. I'm sorry I let loose this morning. I just went to bed at 8pm last night because I felt so tired. And then I woke at 6am this morning and realized that all the feelings I had yesterday weren't going away this morning. It was just needling my brain. I didn't know what to do with it all. I'm going to step out now and take my bike for ride. It is a nice day outside. I have no windows in my home office/craft room. So I think that getting some sunlight will be good for me. I will come back and reread all that you guys have said. Just know I appreciate you. Please, sweet pea friend, you have nothing to apologize for! You've shown up again and again and again for so many of us here. We WANT to be here for you! xox |
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Post by Legacy Girl on Sept 29, 2021 4:12:09 GMT
I understand so, so much. And I will be praying for you and your family.
As I read these posts, I was convicted of the fact that for me, none of the external bandaids seem to work. I come to the end of the vacations. The craft projects. And more. And there it all remains, staring me in the face. I am preaching to myself here, but faith has the power to change things. So my takeaway from this thread is that I need to more deeply invest in my relationship with God. He may not change my circumstances, but perhaps He will change my heart. And the outflow of the overflow of that change may bring strength to tackle the issues in my life and embrace those things that will bring me joy. I will be praying that the same will be true for you.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 29, 2021 7:55:52 GMT
And the night just ended with a drunken scene on my front lawn between her and her boyfriend. Sigh. I thought this day was going to end alright. This is where you could set a boundary. Want to have a drunked scene with your boyfriend? Fine. But not at my home. Take it somewhere else. They don't get the power to control you and how your day ends. I told them I was going to call the police if they continued. And they left. |
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Post by mom on Sept 29, 2021 8:23:23 GMT
This is where you could set a boundary. Want to have a drunked scene with your boyfriend? Fine. But not at my home. Take it somewhere else. They don't get the power to control you and how your day ends. I told them I was going to call the police if they continued. And they left. I know it’s not easy. Hang in there Mama. ❤️ |
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,073
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Sept 29, 2021 8:46:30 GMT
Late to this thread, I'm sorry jeremysgirl I have no real advice, just sending hugs from one exhausted mum to another. If it helps at all, please know you are not alone. |
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,563
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Post by RosieKat on Sept 29, 2021 19:28:50 GMT
Thank you for validating this. I know enough people who have struggles. I also know quite a few people who's lives go quite swimmingly. And it isn't just the facade of social media, they legitimately walk an easier path. And truth be told, I don't wish my path on anyone. I'm not quite that bitter. But when the shit gets really deep, I envy. And that's not a good look. It's called being human. Yes, the social media facade is real (have you ever seen me post that my daughter is a hoarder?) but yeah, there are people whose lives really are much, much simpler. I have an extended family member who looks perfect, has perfect kids, perfect friends, perfect house, etc. and I have it on good info that her life really is pretty much perfect. Oh, no, Johnny got a B instead of an A is her biggest stressor. And I can't help it, I am envious. There are plenty of things I love about my life and my family, but "easy" is never a word you can use in my life. It's hard, and it's unrelenting - and the unrelenting nature is what really beats me down. I'm proud of you for so much. Please keep trying to reach out for help and to set boundaries where needed. We love you! |
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Post by scraphappy0501 on Sept 29, 2021 19:49:23 GMT
jeremysgirl I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and hoping you're having a better day today 
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 29, 2021 19:56:28 GMT
My oldest DD, the volatile one, came by today at lunch time. She destroyed two doors in my home on a tirade. She came to get her dog. I refused to give her the dog until she gave me her housekey. She did and she took the dog. I told her she was no longer welcome here. But that her dog was welcome to come back. I have been caring for the dog for the past 4 years. I'm a little worried about him. She was intoxicated when she stopped by. I kept myself calm during the exchange. She then walked out and called someone on the phone and was shouting out front of my house about how I tried to kidnap her dog and assault her. I guess me saying she wasn't welcome to come back wasn't taken very well. I feel at peace with my decision, especially since she broke two doors in my house. I can't have her here destroying things and yes, she's abusive to me.
My younger DD said it was about time I finally put my foot down. She stood guard during the entire incident.
I'm OK with my decision. Am I worried? Yes. But can I help her? No. Today's episode was just the last straw for me. I needed to draw a line.
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Post by flanz on Sept 29, 2021 20:02:23 GMT
Oh jeremysgirl, that must have been so hard even though you knew you had to do it! (((( hugs )))) I'm proud of you for taking this step and so grateful that your younger DD was there to support you during the tirade. Guessing Jeremy will be very supportive as well. Much love to you, dear friend! |
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Post by christine58 on Sept 29, 2021 20:13:59 GMT
My oldest DD, the volatile one, came by today at lunch time. She destroyed two doors in my home on a tirade. She came to get her dog. I refused to give her the dog until she gave me her housekey. She did and she took the dog. I told her she was no longer welcome here. But that her dog was welcome to come back. I have been caring for the dog for the past 4 years. I'm a little worried about him. She was intoxicated when she stopped by. I kept myself calm during the exchange. She then walked out and called someone on the phone and was shouting out front of my house about how I tried to kidnap her dog and assault her. I guess me saying she wasn't welcome to come back wasn't taken very well. I feel at peace with my decision, especially since she broke two doors in my house. I can't have her here destroying things and yes, she's abusive to me. My younger DD said it was about time I finally put my foot down. She stood guard during the entire incident. I'm OK with my decision. Am I worried? Yes. But can I help her? No. Today's episode was just the last straw for me. I needed to draw a line. It’s time for an order of protection. Make that line thicker. |
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Post by malibou on Sept 29, 2021 20:16:46 GMT
No way was that an easy thing to do, but I'm glad you did. May peace come your way.
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Post by mom on Sept 29, 2021 20:22:22 GMT
My oldest DD, the volatile one, came by today at lunch time. She destroyed two doors in my home on a tirade. She came to get her dog. I refused to give her the dog until she gave me her housekey. She did and she took the dog. I told her she was no longer welcome here. But that her dog was welcome to come back. I have been caring for the dog for the past 4 years. I'm a little worried about him. She was intoxicated when she stopped by. I kept myself calm during the exchange. She then walked out and called someone on the phone and was shouting out front of my house about how I tried to kidnap her dog and assault her. I guess me saying she wasn't welcome to come back wasn't taken very well. I feel at peace with my decision, especially since she broke two doors in my house. I can't have her here destroying things and yes, she's abusive to me. My younger DD said it was about time I finally put my foot down. She stood guard during the entire incident. I'm OK with my decision. Am I worried? Yes. But can I help her? No. Today's episode was just the last straw for me. I needed to draw a line. It’s time for an order of protection. Make that line thicker. I am not usually one to suggest getting an order of protection, but I do feel like this needs to happen. You know she is abusing you and your property. You know she is telling untruths about you -- kidnapping the dog and assaulting her. Please, please protect yourself. |
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,850
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Sept 29, 2021 20:23:56 GMT
My oldest DD, the volatile one, came by today at lunch time. She destroyed two doors in my home on a tirade. She came to get her dog. I refused to give her the dog until she gave me her housekey. She did and she took the dog. I told her she was no longer welcome here. But that her dog was welcome to come back. I have been caring for the dog for the past 4 years. I'm a little worried about him. She was intoxicated when she stopped by. I kept myself calm during the exchange. She then walked out and called someone on the phone and was shouting out front of my house about how I tried to kidnap her dog and assault her. I guess me saying she wasn't welcome to come back wasn't taken very well. I feel at peace with my decision, especially since she broke two doors in my house. I can't have her here destroying things and yes, she's abusive to me. My younger DD said it was about time I finally put my foot down. She stood guard during the entire incident. I'm OK with my decision. Am I worried? Yes. But can I help her? No. Today's episode was just the last straw for me. I needed to draw a line. It’s time for an order of protection. Make that line thicker. ^^^^ I agree She WILL come back when she is drunk. Call the non-emergent 9-1-1 line and have an officer come by and take notice of the damage. File a protective order. She is unstable and the authorities need to be involved. Not saying that I would press charges (right now), but make sure this damage has been documented. Also give information about the dog. |
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Post by belgravia on Sept 29, 2021 20:33:40 GMT
I’m sorry to read your update…that must have been extremely difficult for you. I’m glad the line has been drawn, and my hope is peace for you!!
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Post by JoP on Sept 29, 2021 20:52:12 GMT
Sending you lots of love 💕💕💕💕
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Post by yodutchess on Sept 29, 2021 21:03:35 GMT
I’m sorry for your update. I don’t have any good advice, just can offer virtual hugs.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,563
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Post by RosieKat on Sept 29, 2021 21:11:43 GMT
I wish I lived down the street and could come give you a hug. I agree wholeheartedly, you did what needed to be done. While doing this has to be hard, this is also showing her love. And frankly, this is also showing yourself much needed love, too. I know that you will be a million percent behind her when she realizes she needs to take control of her own actions and her own life.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Sept 29, 2021 21:12:31 GMT
so very sorry!
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Sept 29, 2021 21:13:45 GMT
I admire your bravery and resolve. That couldn’t have been easy. Wishing you both peace upon peace upon peace.
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Post by gillyp on Sept 29, 2021 21:14:51 GMT
I'm sorry you've had to do this but I think it's necessary. I don't know what a Protection Order is but I do like the idea of someone officially documenting the damage if that's possible. At the very least take photos yourself before you put things right.
I'm glad you are at peace with your decision. Don't go second guessing it, it took a long time to get to this point, it won't change over night.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Sept 29, 2021 21:18:46 GMT
That's hard!!
((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
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Post by gar on Sept 29, 2021 21:19:09 GMT
That must have been very hard but I'm glad you're at peace with your decision. For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing.
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Keeping you and your family in my prayers. {{{HUGS}}}
I'm blown away by all the comments here. I had such a busy day I was unable to respond to everyone but I appreciated your kindness immensely. I'm sorry I let loose this morning. I just went to bed at 8pm last night because I felt so tired. And then I woke at 6am this morning and realized that all the feelings I had yesterday weren't going away this morning. It was just needling my brain. I didn't know what to do with it all. 
