|
|
Post by Really Red on Nov 28, 2021 15:04:24 GMT
BTT for update
|
|
|
|
Post by christine58 on Nov 28, 2021 15:08:19 GMT
Really RedThank you for the update. I was just thinking about you the other day. One foot in front of the other is all you can do each day. When you're ready, please tell us more about your son. He sounds like a wonderful person.
|
|
|
|
Post by Monica* on Nov 28, 2021 15:28:36 GMT
Thank you so much for the update. You sound really in touch with what you want and what you don't want, which is helpful. I agree that you will never be the same person you were before. But I hope that as the days, months and years pass, that the grief you undoubted will carry always, will smooth out a little and that you will have pockets of joy. I am keeping you in my continued prayers.
|
|
|
|
Post by malibou on Nov 28, 2021 15:31:41 GMT
Hugs. Long, warm, safe hugs. The kind where you can sob and no one says anything you are just held up.
|
|
|
|
Post by originalvanillabean on Nov 28, 2021 15:35:30 GMT
Many many hugs to you!!
|
|
|
|
Post by quinlove on Nov 28, 2021 15:41:26 GMT
Sending love, lots of love, to you. ❤️
|
|
ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,023
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
|
Post by ddly on Nov 28, 2021 15:47:23 GMT
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
|
|
ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,807 
|
Post by ellen on Nov 28, 2021 16:03:14 GMT
I've thought about you a lot. I'm glad to hear that you are getting support from so many sources - so helpful that you start your day with a good walking partner. I lost my mom unexpectedly when she was relatively young. About three weeks later my good friends lost their 21 year old son in a motorcycle accident. At the time I was thinking about how much I was struggling but knew that their situation was so much more complicated.
What you said about books on grief is interesting. About a month or so after my mom died I thought I was losing my mind. I was so sure that I could go back in time and fix things. I spent a ridiculous amount of time thinking about it and I was sure I was losing my mind. I looked for a book on people losing loved ones unexpectedly. I read the whole thing in a day and it helped me to know that I was having a normal reaction. I wasn't crazy. Perhaps the difference is that I sought out what I needed. I did pass on my copy to someone I work with when her family went through a hard loss. I told her that it was something that helped me and that maybe someone in her family might find it helpful. Now I'm rethinking that. I swear my intentions were good.
I think you've made good plans for the holidays. I hope that you can find moments where you feel like yourself.
|
|
|
|
Post by Skellinton on Nov 28, 2021 16:36:57 GMT
Thank you for your update. I am so glad you were given a letter from the donor family, what a gift you and your son gave.
I think about you and your son often. I am so very sorry for your loss.
|
|
|
|
Post by Basket1lady on Nov 28, 2021 17:27:29 GMT
I'm so very sorry that you are going through all of this. People say dumb things, hoping that it will bring you some peace. They mean well, but it's never the right thing when all you want is your son back. I think getting away at Christmas is wise and it will help to be busy. It's not a fix, but hopefully you can gain some joy in the trip.
|
|
|
|
Post by mom on Nov 28, 2021 17:30:39 GMT
Big, big hugs. I am glad to see you back.
|
|
RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,566
|
Post by RosieKat on Nov 28, 2021 17:33:35 GMT
I am not sure I could keep breathing in your situation. I'm so, so sorry.
|
|
|
|
Post by shescrafty on Nov 28, 2021 17:58:44 GMT
It won’t ever be the same. I say that I used to be a happy person with moments of sadness, and now I am a sad person with moments of happiness. We also went away the first few christmases and it did help, but it will still be hard no matter what. Peace and strength to you as you are on this journey.
|
|
quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,850
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
|
Post by quiltz on Nov 28, 2021 18:06:30 GMT
People want me to be the person I was prior to my son's passing, because I was always filled with joy. I just do not know that I can ever be that person again. I miss talking with my son. He had insights into everything. He was passionate about changing the world and he listened to everyone. There were very few topics I could broach that he wasn't well-versed on. You will never be the same person after this horrific loss. I am also a bereaved mother and it was a sudden death of my daughter. Very slowly, you will become a different version of yourself. Many big hugs to you! <abbr title="Jun 26, 2014 20:15:12 GMT -5" data-timestamp="1403831712000" class="o-timestamp time">bereavedJun 26, 2014 20:15:12 GMT -5</abbr> Really Red said: I have to see my Swiss family and the girls and I rented an Airbnb in Berner Oberland and we are just going to chill with each other and see the family on Christmas. The Berner Oberland area is simply beautiful! Enjoy the time with your family. |
|
|
|
Post by jenjie on Nov 28, 2021 18:27:48 GMT
I am so sorry. I’m grateful you are surrounded by people who are looking for ways to help that will actually help you. No it won’t take the pain away but maybe it will help you deal with your grief in a way that works “better” for you.
Someday, unless people have been horrible, you will appreciate even the boneheaded things people are saying and doing out of love for you. Nobody knows what to do, so they do the best they know how.
I’m so sorry. Holidays are the loneliest time for the grieving and especially newly grieving. {{{gentle hugs}}} my friend. Your son sounds like an amazing individual.
|
|
|
|
Post by catck on Nov 28, 2021 18:41:19 GMT
I was glad to see your update and that you have people to spend time with, there is nothing worse than being alone with all the time in the world to think. May you find some peace spending time with your girls and family in Switzerland. Hugs.
|
|
moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,276
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
|
Post by moodyblue on Nov 28, 2021 19:28:16 GMT
It was good to see your post as I have thought about you often. I was texting with a close friend yesterday; she lost her 20-year-old daughter to leukemia and the holidays are a super tough time as Becky was moved to PICU on Thanksgiving and died on December 30th. It has been over ten years now and it’s still painful. She and her husband have learned what they need to do to make this time of year more bearable for themselves. It helps them that Becky loved the holidays and that they have their son and his wife and two little grandkids to focus on. Doesn’t make it easy, but helps them cope.
|
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Nov 28, 2021 19:51:34 GMT
Dear Really Red. Thank you for the update. I hope you know many of us have been keeping you in our hearts. |
|
|
|
Post by flanz on Nov 28, 2021 21:19:17 GMT
Thank you for updating us. My heart goes out to you. I am very happy you have supportive people to lean on. ((( hugs )))
|
|
|
|
Post by stormsts on Nov 28, 2021 21:31:57 GMT
Hugs to you and your daughters. I am glad you have so many people supporting you. Thanks for the update. I have been thinking of you.
|
|
|
|
Post by scrapmomof2 on Nov 28, 2021 22:52:48 GMT
Dear pea, I am so very sorry for this unimaginable loss. I hurt for you as many peas do too, and wish we could take your pain away, but we just can't. There really are no words. Many hugs and prayers.
|
|
|
|
Post by MZF on Nov 29, 2021 2:35:59 GMT
I’m glad to see an update, and that you have support from friends and family. I am so very sorry for the loss of your son—(hug).
|
|
|
|
Post by destined2bmom on Nov 29, 2021 5:57:08 GMT
Thank you for the update. Huge hugs. I have been thinking about you daily and praying for you and your daughters.
I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your son and I am glad that you and your daughters are doing what you need, to get through this time of the year.
Please know that we are here for you.
|
|
cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,409
|
Post by cycworker on Nov 29, 2021 6:16:53 GMT
I am sending you love.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 23:13:35 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2021 11:35:22 GMT
You have been on my mind and in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your update. I am thankful for the women helping you along the way especially the one that goes walking with you each morning. I walk each morning so I get the importance, and for you it is so much more important. What a blessing I know she is to you. I will continue to pray, and glad you have made your Christmas plans. Keep taking it a day at a time. We are here for you!
|
|
|
|
Post by peace on Nov 29, 2021 12:17:45 GMT
I'm so glad to see you here. There are no words to help as there is no greater loss- but I hope you can find a new normal that brings you some joy in some capacity. In time. Hugs to you and yours.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 23:13:35 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2021 12:27:14 GMT
Sending you much love and hugs Really Red. One small step at a a time, it's a long road and you do it in your own time and in your own way. Try not to get too upset about what some people say. Most do care but they don't really know how to express it but they mean well. Take care x |
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Nov 29, 2021 12:35:49 GMT
I’ve been watching for you to come back and check in. I’ve thought of you often as I visit this site. It’s such an unimaginable loss. I’m glad to hear you are hanging in there.
|
|
|
|
Post by fruitysuet on Nov 29, 2021 12:48:52 GMT
It is impossible to comprehend the loss and grief of a child unless you have endured it yourself. I think it is that lack of comprehension which leads to well meaning people saying and doing things that aren't especially welcome or helpful.
Please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve in your own way and in your own time. You're in my thoughts.
|
|
|
|
Post by Susie_Homemaker on Nov 29, 2021 14:57:55 GMT
Huge ((hugs)) to you.
|
|
